Category: Kindness

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365 Coaching Tips: 250th, 251st and 252nd

September 7th Coaching Tip: Full Moons Are Special.

My godson and I will text each other photos when there is a full moon. Sure enough, at about the exact same time, he texted me a photo of his son sitting in front of the fire, while they were both admiring the full moon. Meanwhile, we were at the lake, doing the same admiring of the full moon glistening over the lake. I texted him a photo. Those full moons are special; it connects my godson and me. Keep them special!

September 8th Coaching Tip: Dinner With Mom.

Today, two years ago, my dad mowed the lawn before sunset. He came in, had some dinner with mom, watched TV, and went to bed. But soon after laying it down, he came out and let mom know that he wasn’t feeling well. A few hours later after my mom drove dad to the emergency room at the hospital, my dad died suddenly of heart failure. He died in the ER, with my mom at his side. They had been married for over 63 years.

Tonight, we drove an hour to meet mom for dinner at good, yummy and reliable Olive Garden. We had wonderful, quick and pleasant service. The soup was delicious, and we all took home leftovers. But most importantly, we three spent time together. Honoring my dad and letting mom know that we are here for her. She felt the love and admiration that we have for her. It was a simple yet special dinner.

September 9th Coaching Tip: Took Bereavement Today.

Although my dad died two years, it hit me this month, this week, yesterday, and this morning. I’m not crying and regretting anything; I’m just thinking of my dad alot, all of his teachings, all of his accomplishments, how quickly he passed, and how mom is gracefully handling life these last couple years.

Just knew I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate well this morning, so I took a half day to grieve/honor dad/not work. That’s the first time that I’ve ever done that in my corporate career of over 38 years. Yes, the first time ever. Know thyself, know your limits.

FYI, I also had three important people in my life (a longtime work friend, a cousin, and my godson’s daughter) with birthdays today. I made it a point to talk to all three of them, and even stopped by to visit my godson’s daughter and give her some treats. Make the effort!

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365 Coaching Tip: 244th, 245th & 246th

September 1st Coaching Tip: Get some Vitamin D

Everyone that I’m around these last few days is loving the weather. 50’s over night, 70’s during the day. Open the windows in the evening and sleep well. Sit outside, get some Vitamin D naturally, and enjoy the sunshine without breaking a sweat. This is the perfect weather to get some Vit D. Get outside and walk, get outside and play a little. It’s the best prescription that money can buy: it’s FREE.

September 2nd Coaching Tip: Use Your iPhone Calendar.

We all have alot going on, alot. I leverage my iPhone calendar to help me plan for events that I don’t want to miss. For example, my iPhone calendar reminded me today that estimated taxes are due soon (actual due date is September 15). The payment was processed today and will be sent to the IRS on the 13th. On Sept. 9th, I have three special people with birthdays, and it’s also my dad’s date of death. I put those four items in my iPhone calendar as annually repeating, so that I never forget. Real estate taxes are due on different dates in Florida (November 30), Illinois (June and September), and Indiana (May and November). Again, I put annual reminders for the beginning of each of these months on my iPhone calendar, so that I don’t forget. Use your tools to help drive efficiency in your life, reduce stress, and never/rarely miss important items.

September 3rd Coaching Tip: Go To Funerals.

After work today, I took a minute to eat, breathe, take a short walk, and then headed north for more than an hour to go to a small town for a funeral. My dad’s cousin, Judy, passed away. She and her husband lived on a farm, and Judy was a teacher. They had harness racing horses, and that provided a common bond between these cousins. My dad would have been there, if he were still alive (he passed 9/9/2023). Just felt that I needed to represent our family and show up like my dad would have done. My mom was pleased that I went, and my brother Brett and his wife Candy also made the trip. Judy’s boys were pleasant and thankful that we made the effort to be there. Some 50 years ago, we all played together in the yard at my great grandmother’s home and at family reunions. Go to funerals to honor others…and be reminded of younger times, too.

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365 Coaching Tips: 238th, 239th & 240th

August 26th Coaching Tip: Be First to Meet Your Neighbors.

We’ve got a place that we’re remodeling and been working on since Thanksgiving 2024. None of the neighbors have come over and introduced themselves; however, to be fair, it’s mostly contractors that are there, and we have only been there quickly and sparingly over the last 10 months. However, here in August, we are spending time there working on the getting the home all set up on the weekends. I’ve noticed that the neighbor across the street has children that go to school, as I’ve seen the school bus multiple times. And, they have off fireworks every Friday night thus far. Who knew, right? The neighbor to north sits on his front step and quietly watches us work as he smokes his cigarette.

Today, he was out mowing, and as I was driving away, I waved to him. He drove the mower toward me; I got out of the car and walked towards him with my hand to shake his and introduce myself to him. After an hour of listening to him share history about our connecting properties, we walked the property lines and he then shared more about the previous owner and what had happened on the property. Then, he started telling me about his recent retirement and his health challenges (pneumonia, heart stents, aneurysm, etc.). He really opened up…and never asked one question about me. He simply opened up.

I was SO glad that we spent that hour together; he now has my name and my cell number, and he will call me if he sees anything out of the ordinary. He likes what we are doing to improve the property (it’s a farmhouse on 10 acres with an old chicken coup, she-shed, and two barns). He is going to mow even closer now to my property line, after he cleans up the fence line. Be first and intentional to meet your neighbors. Fences make good neighbors and so do thoughtful, purposeful and pleasant neighbors.

August 27th Coaching Tip: Trust, but Double Check.

As we remodel this home, I had ordered the carpet months ago, when the guys installed the hardwood flooring. I decided to swing by the carpet business after work, and re-check my order on the “status” of it and the pricing. I found that the order had NOT been placed for the carpet; it was actually a godsend. We reviewed the selections, and the sales lady and I realized that I could save thousands of dollars and make a decision that I was actually happier with. I trusted the process and the sales woman, however, so glad that I double checked because it all ultimately worked out.

August 28th Coaching Tip: A Year After my 60th Birthday!

It’s been just a bit more than a year since my 60th birthday disco party. I’ve rewatched many of the videos from that fun, meaningful and energetic evening. And today, I jumped on the scale and weighed a couple pounds LESS than I did last year (that was my goal). I also had a surprise visit from two friends that I met while flying back from the Taylor Swift concert and my quick early birthday visit to London last August. It was good to see them; they were enjoying a trip with some of their dear friends to some local wineries and figured out a way to squeak in a visit to say hello. Reminisce and soak up those memories; it’s only been a year after that fun and frolicking 60th birthday party.

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365 Coaching Tips: 235th, 236th & 237th

August 23rd Coaching Tip: Grandma Valeeta.

Grandma Valeeta was my grandfather’s (George) second wife. She was a sweetie, always welcoming everyone with a smile on her face and an infectious laugh. She was also a great cook. During my college years at Spring Break time, I would go to Florida for spring break. I would go see them at their home in Ocala, FL, eat some scrumptious food, go to grandpa’s 17-acre mini-farm to watch him train a few horses. “Pap” would always remind me that I could stay with him during spring break. So glad that I did, because as I age, those were some very sweet memories. I learned a lot about him, his calm style, his purpose with caring for animals in the morning and getting some natural movement in while socializing with the farm neighbors.

Today would have been Valeeta’s birthday. She is now buried next to my grandpa. And at my passing, I will be buried by them as well. Back home at Glen Cove Cemetery in Knightstown, IN.

August 24th Coaching Tip: Write Thank You Notes.

After my brother and wife hosted a wonderful weekend (for my birthday, a family gathering with my uncle and cousin, and celebrating Mom Barb’s anniversary date w/ Dad), I decided to write a number of thank you notes to everyone who really made the weekend special. Don’t ever underestimate the value of a handwritten note; two of the people who received them (my 84-year-old mom and my 80-year-old uncle) called to thank me for writing and mailing them a thank you note. Be intentional when you are grateful. Your kindness and purposeful actions are so appreciated. Write thank you notes; they’re priceless!

August 25th Coaching Tip: Long Weekends Revive.

With me taking off Friday, Aug. 22 and Friday, Aug. 29, I’m truly welcoming in these four-day work weeks. It’s actually going to be three of them. Three? Yes, because then the next week is Labor Day (Monday off). Although work is intense and we’ve had two colleagues retire in the last couple weeks, I’m intentionally managing MY schedule to help ensure that I’m in the best wellness that I can possibly be in. If we loosely plan our time off, work can sometimes consume us. My partner and I are regularly going thru our calendars to optimize time together, ensure that we decide on priorities and commitments with our family and friends, and yes, there’s always the work schedule. I’m finding that long weekends can really revive me; that extra day is so healing and relaxing, and then the four-day work week is a bit easier to embrace and complete with high performance.

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365 Coaching Tips: 232nd, 233rd & 234th

August 20th Coaching Tip: Reach Out On Birthdays.

Today is one of my favorite advisor’s birthdays. I wanted him to know that I deeply care about him, so yes, I was that person who wished him a happy birthday at 8am sharp. And he laughed, and came back quickly and stated, “you were the second person to wish me HBD.” I’ll take it, he and I both know that he’s important to me, and I’m equally important to him.

And then, for some reason, I reached out to one of my coaching colleagues to wish her a happy August birthday. Although her birthday isn’t until Aug. 30, she’s my work-sister with an August birthday. Welp, wouldn’t you know, my gut was right. She responded by saying, “thanks for the HBD wishes. Your intuition is amazing. My father passed last night, and so now I’m dealing with that. I know you lost your father a couple years ago.” Oh my, I wasn’t expecting that message back from her, although she had mentioned that her father had been declining quickly the last couple years. I’m just so grateful that the good Lord had me reach out. Just hope that I can be there for her as she grieves the loss of her dad; my dad died in Sept. 2023 unexpectedly. Keep reaching out.

August 21st Coaching Tip: Understand Your Impact On Others.

Today in one of my coaching sessions, the leader was mentioning how excited he was about a new bi-lingual woman that he’s mentoring and aligning to his team. He had some questions about how to align her to his team and I had some questions, too. For example, he has two other young people on his team that he’s also developing. My questions revolved around the “how”: How will you mentor and develop all three of them? How will you communicate how they will be held accountable and compensated? How will you be viewed as fair, maybe not equal, but definitely fair? How will you document what you’re doing with each of them, so that if you have others who want to join your team, you can quickly share with them how you mentor and develop talent?

Don’t underestimate how important it is to communicate the impact on the person you’re developing, as well as to the others. People are naturally impacted by the amount of time you spend with them. Leadership is hard and it’s your responsibility as a leader to be aware of your impact on others.

August 22nd Coaching Tip: Lakeside Birthday Tradition.

Took the day off, again. It’s a priority for me to take off my birthday, and it’s a ritual that I’ve been doing since I started working at Caterpillar in 1986. At my 40th birthday, our family all gathered at a small hotel that was lakeside in Monticello, Indiana. We brought four jet skis, food, and had a blast. At my 50th birthday party, I rented a lovely, large home on Lake Wawasee, Indiana, for a group of friends to come and stay, and then my family also came a few days later. From there, we started a lakeside tradition, and now we celebrate my birthday and a number of other important dates annually.

This year was no different; we had 19 show up for my birthday party at my brother’s lakeside home in Cicero, IN. We sang karaoke for four hours, ate like kings and queens, and had a yummy, Costco (Italian chocolate six layer) cake with optional scoops of gelato. So, peace out and enjoy your birthday. We sure had a blast all weekend!

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365 Coaching Tips: 229th, 230th and 231st

August 17th: Those Extra Efforts.

It was a sunny day by the lake, and I could have easily just stayed there all-day relaxing. However, my 80-year-old uncle was nearby attending his high school reunion, and then he was heading to the airport today. I jumped in the car and met him for a quick lunch at the airport; we split a sandwich, he shared the fun times from his weekend, and he was also thrilled that I made the extra effort to see him. Make the extra effort; you never know WHEN you may or may not see someone again.

August 18th: Cancer Stinks.

Today, my mother and I had to reach out to the land tenant that is leasing 17 acres from mom for ag purposes. Per the lease, the tenant was to keep the property mowed, maintained, and utilized for ag-only purposes (i.e. no housing, only crops or animals). We were noticing that he stopped communicating and the nearby neighbors were sending me photos of an overgrown pasture. Mom and I knew something was up. Indeed something was up: our tenant revealed that he has progressive pancreatic cancer. His wife also indicated that he’s in the hospital. The man/husband/father/tenant is facing the fight of his life; all he wanted to do was raise a family, teach them how to farm, raise crops and animals. That is all stopping now for him. Mom and I will find another tenant. Cancer stinks.

August 19th: Talk It Over.

One of my coaching clients reached out to me and mentioned that she was thinking of moving forward with a business divorce with her longtime business partner. We prioritized getting some time together; I started asking questions of what’s going on, what’s NOT happening, when was the last time that they talked, who is responsible for what, etc. After about 45 minutes, she realized that she hadn’t even talked to her business partner recently about what was upsetting her. She even admitted that he may not even know that she is thinking about a business divorce. Once she admitted those things, she agreed that she needed to get his attention, sit down and talk it over. We practiced how she might go about doing that. In my coaching work, I regularly notice that many crucial conversations don’t go as planned, because many times the lack of practice is evident, and then the conversation turns sour, emotional, disrespectful and hurtful. Talk it over with a colleague or coach, before you have a crucial talk.

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365 Coaching Tips: 223rd, 224th & 225th

August 11th Coaching Tip: Retirements Are Huge Decisions.

It cracks me up when I hear younger people say, “I know what you mean…” when someone is trying to make up their mind about retiring. Actually, I think to myself, “no, you have no clue; zero clue. You’ve never retired. Maybe your parents or grandparents or an older friend has retired, but you haven’t retired.”

When someone is discussing retiring, listen to them and ask questions. Listen to their story of all the ways in which they made their career journey, or help manage a business, or lead their family. Ask questions about what they loved the most, and what were their regrets that others could learn from. In my coaching work, many discussions are about “when will I retire” and “what will I do with my time after I retire”. We openly discuss what are their plans, what are they going toward, and how will they deal with a potential change in their own feeling about their identity. Some are considering working part-time to stay socially engaged as well as leveraging their decades of experience to continue to help and be valuable to others. Retiring is a huge decision.

August 12th Coaching Tip: Ongoing Commitment.

Yes, I completed the National Senior Games on Aug. 2, 2025. However, I now have a renewed and ongoing commitment to my overall wellness, fitness and strength levels. Of course, I took a few days off and on throughout August, but as the Fall and beautiful weather of September and October creep up, it will be time to renew my ongoing commitment to keep my V02max above 36 by doing regular high intensity interval training as well as improving my basketball shooting accuracy. I’ve been inspired by an 80+ year old gymnast; audiences are amazed at how she still does balance beam routines. She said it is simple: she never stopped doing them. She maintained her ongoing commitment for decades.

August 13th Coaching Tip: Be Honest.

Trying to buy a few things on Facebook Marketplace for the remodeled home that we are working on for a final “move in” date of Aug. 29, 2025. One seller on Marketplace was pleasant and professional, and we treated each other with timeliness and respect. I went to see the furniture that she had listed, and it was as she claimed it was: great shape, rarely used. However, another seller was less than honest. She wanted $200 from me to hold the item until I arrived. Hesitantly, I went ahead and zelle’d her “son” the $200. Then she let me know that her partner had already made a commitment to sell the piece of furniture to another person. By then, she was apologizing…but also saying that if I sent the remaining amount, they would agree to sell it to me. At that point, I was done with them. She lacked integrity, and she still has not returned my $200. Scam? Maybe. Dishonest? Absolutely. Be honest.

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365 Coaching Tips: 217th, 218th & 219th

August 5th Coaching Tip: Take Care of Your Mind.

As we returned from the intensity and competition of the National Senior Games in Des Moines, I prioritized recovery this week. I took it really easy yesterday; only took a couple strolls and got a few shots up in the LA Fitness gym nearby. This evening, I went to bed earlier than I normally do…even though I wanted to stay up and watch a key WNBA game that started at 10pm E. My mind is still on a bit of a high and buzzing with joy and excitement from my results at NSG; my blood pressure last week was un-usually high (130’s-150’s/97). I checked my BP multiple times this week, and it’s right back down to my normal levels of 107/68.

To prioritize my mind today, I really got organized this week (returning from vacation is always filled with a slew of emails and follow up). I prioritized what emails MUST be followed up quickly; I flagged them with a “red” flag. For medium and lower priority emails and calls, I requested connecting with them the weeks of Aug. 11 or Aug. 18, and even proposed the week of Aug. 25 or after Labor Day. A number requested, “after Labor Day works great for me, too.” And for me personally, I scheduled a massage and pedicure for this week, before we head to the lake this weekend for some downtime. Prioritize your mind; clear thinking will help you make sound decisions.

August 6th Coaching Tip: Take Care of Your Body.

As mentioned above, it was very important for me to get a massage early this week. And I splurged. Instead of getting my normal 50-minute massage, I got a 90-minute massage. Very glad that I prioritized this, as I have less soreness now and no injuries from last week at the NSG. While I was competing last week at the NSG, I made it a priority to eat and hydrate very well, drink zero alcohol, and get plenty of sleep (approx. 8 hours/night). I also had access to an indoor pool that had a surprisingly cool water temperature, so after each competition, I got in it and just walked around and swam slowly to help cool down my body a bit. We also brought a foam roller, and I used that to help roll out my hamstrings and calves. Take care of your body; you’ve only got ONE! (Note: we were in Des Moines for the NSG in three different venues for six days. I’m pleased to report that I did not see one injury while I was there. That’s a remarkable statement, since all athletes were 50-101 years old).

August 7th Coaching Tip: Take Care of Your Feet.

Our feet take the pressure of every single step we take; there’s nothing like our feet. When we lose our feet or our ability to walk, it can be quite depressing and debilitating. I’ve witnessed colleagues, friends, and a couple of my family ignore their feet/toes/ankles until it was “too late”. Now they have to wear unique shoes or special inserts or compression socks every single day. It was a priority for me to get a pedicure today and talk to the nail tech about a couple small areas on my toes that were tender. She really listened, inspected, and then helped those two areas, along with making my toes look pretty in Hoosier red nail polish. As I have moved from 50 to now over 60 years old, I’m learning a lot about how my body and feet like certain footwear. Don’t laugh, but I must have about ten pair of Nike Pegasus jogging shoes and Oofos sandals and slides. My feet like them, and my feet don’t hurt. Why change it up if it is working. Take care of your feet.

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365 Coaching Tips: 214th, 215th & 216th

August 2nd Coaching Tip: A Full Day.

Today was my final day competing at the 2025 National Senior Games. At 11:40am, I ran the 200m and finished 17th overall, after being seeded 38th out of 41 entrants. Most proud that I ran the 200m approx. 2.4 seconds faster than I had run it in June 2025 and more than four seconds faster than June 2024.

Then it was on to the basketball shooting competition. Over 30 women in my 60-64 age group entered the free throw shooting contest; I was able to make 22 out of 25 free throws and win the National Senior Games silver medal. The local Iowa woman was the gold medal winner; she made 23 of 25 of her free throws. In the three-point shooting contest, I was able to make nine of the 15 attempts, which landed me a bronze medal. Silver also made nine, but the tie breaker was that she hit more in a row than me. The gold medal went to the women who hit 10 of 15 three pointers.

For two months, I’ve been wearing two rubber bracelets on my right wrist that reminded me of this phrase: Nothing is impossible. Exceed your own expectations. These two bracelets had been in my jewelry drawer for a few years, but something made me grab them, wear them, and because it was two of them, to double down on my effort to do well at these NSG. I’m beyond thrilled in how this journey has gone, especially meeting some new people, refining my wellness, doing new and hard things, and having part of my “fam bam” there to see me compete today. Out of 12,500 senior athletes in the 30 different sports (and many events in the track & field), I’m so happy to be bringing home two medals and setting three new personal records (new lower times) in the 100m, 200m and 400m runs. It was a full day; full of fun, competition, and yes, throw in some nerves and anxiety.

August 3rd Coaching Tip: One of 12,500 Senior Athletes.

12,500 senior athletes qualified and registered for the 2025 National Senior Games. And, I was one of the lucky 12,500! Central Iowa did a superb job of hosting over 30 sports in over 20 locations across the towns of Des Moines, West Des Moines, Ankeny, Ames, Clive, Urbandale, Waukee, Grimes, Altoona, Polk City, Johnston, and Pleasant Hill. These 12,500 senior athletes came from all 50 USA states and 11 countries. Iowa helped us athletes by having volunteers everywhere, who were friendly and helpful.

As of this evening, the state of Florida leads the way with their senior athletes or teams receiving a total of 293 medals (123 gold, 83 silver, 87 bronze). Ohio has 246 total medals, Texas has 229, Tennessee has raked in 214. Indiana has 65 medals (24 gold, 22 silver, and 19 bronze). I’m proud to be the recipient of one silver and one bronze to help represent Indiana’s 65 medals.

August 4th Coaching Tip: Prioritize YOU.

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed that a number of friends and colleagues had wonderful careers going. Then, acting as an adult (senior) care giver turned their life upside down. The career goes away, while the care giving consumes them. And then the career is damaged, and some of these great people were laid off, others retired or simply quit. Through all of this, I’ve noticed that the ones (mostly all are women) who focus on providing care giving to a loved one also focused on their own health and overall wellbeing. In my opinion, it’s hard to care for others and be a role model if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Please prioritize you, especially if you get asked to care for others urgently or for the long haul. Care giving is tasking physically, emotionally, and mentally; caring for a loved one might even cost you your job. Take care of you and prioritize you, so that you can be at your best for others.

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365 Coaching Tips: 211th, 212th & 213th

July 30th Coaching Tip: Your Fans.

Going to the National Senior Games for the very first time in my life (I’m 60 years old, in August turning 61) has been a journey of training and challenging myself…pretty much by myself. Throughout this journey, it’s been pretty darn cool to see who are my fans. Some of my fans are the 100% no brainers, i.e. mom and my besties. But the surprises have been extended family and some remote friends. The common thread in all these supportive people is that they too have a common interest in wellness, staying healthy, traveling and running. Know who your fans are and also be a fan of others. They will never forget when you’re their fan!

July 31st Coaching Tip: Show Up For Life.

As in life, so goes the National Senior Games. Although senior athletes qualified and then registered (paid a registration fee), a number did not show up. For example, in the 100m sprint that I ran today, 19 of the 50 registered runners did not show up. I was proud that I did show up. Today at 8:55am, the weather and track were cooler today versus yesterday’s heat at the Iowa State University Cyclone Sports Complex. I felt great and scoped out my competition, and I could quickly tell that my recent eight to nine weeks of training was going to allow me to sneak up on some people. Indeed, that was the case. Although I was in the first heat, in lane 1 (as the slowest seeded-runner), I was able to finish fourth in my heat and ran my fastest 100m by a second and three seconds faster than I ran my 100m that qualified me in Indiana in June 2024. Thus, I was beyond thrilled to have finished 15th overall out of 30 competitors. I’m happy and also relieved that I did it. Tip for today is a simple but a bold one: show up for life.

August 1st Coaching Tip: Take The Call.

When people need to talk to you, really try hard to take their call. They need something or need someone to talk to. Today, I finally was able to chat with a longtime work colleague and now friend; he is growing his business and wanted to run a few things by me.

I consider it a privilege and an honor if someone is reaching out to me. But I must also be ready to listen and be fully present when we are talking; I would want the exact same thing. Kindness may be an overused word or them in these times of today, but it is truly a gift to give someone time. Take the call.