Tag: Purposeful

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365 Coaching Tips: on to 19, 20 and 21

January 19th Coaching Tip: Friends Matter. We’ve all heard that phrase, “Sunday Funday!” Today, we rolled out of bed, didn’t take showers, and started whipping up some gluten free pancake mix, baked some bacon, got the omelet ingredients all prepped, and set out the dishes for a scheduled brunch with our best friends. They rolled in with similar hairdo’s, and somehow beautifully displayed a colorful platter of fresh fruit and brought an old-school orange squeezer to make some orange juice for mimosas.  We had this brunch planned for a week, as temperatures were plummeting and we decided to stay inside instead of going to see a college basketball game.  Glad that we stay committed to our bond of having a homemade brunch.  Brunch was plentiful and scrumptious, the food and friends, the warmth of the fire, the catching up, as it had been a few weeks since we all had been together.  Recent research is indicating that people are spending more time alone; more time on social media than ever before; depression and anxiety are both on the rise; and mental illness is now commonly discussed.  My recipe for a lot of these trends is to have something to look forward to, and do it with people that you love and care about.  Planning a simple lil Sunday brunch while wearing zero makeup with bad hair, allowed us to naturally connect, cook, and share. Plan things with your friends.  Friends matter.

January 20th Coaching Tip: Leverage Experts. In tackling a huge remodel of a 95-year-old home, I realized that I needed experts.  The ceilings were bowing, the floors were not flat, the stairs were not safe, the house was chopped up, and we are adding a garage, as well as some new windows, siding and doors.   I needed help! Enter in a general contractor, an interior designer, and an architect.  In working together, them listening to me and what I want in this farmhouse, and then hearing them regarding their ideas, we are really bringing this project together nicely.  With the architect’s quick eye, he gave the GC some ideas on how to improve the bowed ceilings and the uneven floors.  It’s done already.  The interior designer is pushing us all on functionality as well as the latest fashions, with the right flow.  I’m grateful for smart people, who can work collaboratively. Embrace others and improve results by leveraging expertise.   

January 21st Coaching Tip: Keep On-Track.  In my coaching work, many of my colleagues/coachees set goals…and then they don’t track results frequently enough.  As they get in to March and move thru May, they are already telling themselves if they can or cannot make their yearend numbers.  For the teams that I coach who set a goal to accomplish their results by summer or no later than Labor Day, they typically do it. How? They track their results daily, and definitely weekly and monthly. Many people annually give up on their new year’s resolution between January 18-27, so now is the time to keep and stay on track. Develop yourself a daily or weekly scorecard, and you will be amazed what you can accomplish. Keep on-track!

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365 Coaching Tips: the 13th, 14th and 15th Days

January 13th Coaching Tip: Family Talks. In our coaching work, we help our colleagues/coachees as they prep for crucial conversations. In Kerry Patterson’s book, “Crucial Conversations,” most of these crucial convos don’t even happen, and then when they do, they don’t go well. Thus, we as coaches help our colleagues practice these important convos. Today, a husband and wife indicated that they want to bring on at least one of their two sons into their business. And yet, they had nothing in writing, nothing that either of them could confidently replicate with clarity. The husband and wife soon realized that they weren’t even on the same page. The mother wanted the son(s) to be “hungry” and the father wanted to be more “helpful” to his son(s). Thus, I encouraged them to get on the same page, draft it up, and then have a family talk with both sons, so that both sons heard the same message. Then, if either son wants to enter the business in the future and they discuss the opportunity further, the four of them would potentially have a more solid foundation. Remember, have those crucial family talks.

January 14th Coaching Tip: Plan Ahead. Whether its travel for work or vacation downtime, or getting groceries for a Sunday brunch planned with friends, or an early morning Uber ride to the airport, plan ahead. This week I’ll be in a number of hotels, crossing multiple state lines, and in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Thus, I planned ahead by truly looking at the map, understanding drive times and locations, and knowing when I need to be where. Thinking about my personal routines, I even bought my cold brew the night before, and got up this morning and was rollin’ with my favorite coffee while reading my devotionals. This allowed me to get ready and arrive to an unfamiliar office 20 minutes in advance (instead of rushing in to a coffee shop, and then being dissatisfied with my java). Knowing that I could walk to this office in just 2-3 minutes from the hotel that I picked (so that I wouldn’t even have to get in the car and drive/commute), I got my morning routine, breakfast, and workday started as normalized as I possibly could have done. Folks, plan ahead to help reduce stress and you’ll be surprised how much it increases your efficiency.

January 15th Coaching Tip: Stop Burnout. Start saying “no” to certain things and start saying “yes” to yourself. Today, I coached two teams who were “burned out, bored, (not thriving).” After listening to what was going on, they shared that they have too many clients, and many of those clients don’t pay them or are so simple and could be served by someone else more effectively and happily. Gently, we all looked at one another after I had them repeat what they said, “we have too many clients who consume our time and don’t pay us (much).” In my coaching work, we remind our coachees that it is YOUR business. You make the decisions. You select your clients. You can say “yes,” and you can also say, “no”. My recommendation is for you to clearly identify WHO you want to serve and then stick to it. Serve clients that make you smile, that you truly want to help, that take your advice/pay for your expertise, and you both grow from helping each other. Say YES to the right clients, and that will help reduce burnout.

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365 Coaching Tips: Days 10, 11 & 12

January 10 Coaching Tip: Practice. Yes, I said practice. This week, I had a number of people call me to practice their upcoming crucial conversations or new scripts that they want to utilize in 2025 to help grow their business. In a matter of just a few minutes, confidence grew. One person needed help pulling together their talking points and a timeline for the huge decision they are making to retire in about 18 months; I listened to them as they practiced, and they became more and more confident as they got more clear and organized in their thoughts. Another person needed help with removing exhausting clients who pay very little but take a lot of time; after a few practice conversations, he felt affirmed in what he was saying and was ready to share it with the exhausting clients. As for me, practicing my sprints a couple times a week in helping me build confidence that I can run sprints in my 60’s without getting hurt. So, bottom line: Practice!

January 11 Coaching Tip: Challenge Yourself. It’s amazing what you CAN DO, if you just challenge yourself a bit more. For example, if you only have 15 minutes to get a task done, isn’t it amazing how efficient you can become and get the bulk of the task done? I find this in my life if friends are on their way/close by/gonna drop in for a quick visit. I say yes, and then quickly get stuff picked up and organized a bit more. Also find this now as I’m training for the National Senior Games; my ability to do multiple sprints as a 60 year old is encouraging. Now I’m checking other sprinters’ times, just to see how much quicker I need to be. Challenge yourself, or hire a coach to challenge you and help hold you accountable.

January 12 Coaching Tip. Help Others. The fires in Los Angeles, CA are apocalyptic in nature, and I feel like there is absolutely nothing that I personally can do. And yet there IS something that I can do. After watching closely which organizations were “showing up to help others”, I chose to support the World Central Kitchen. During a time of a disaster of this magnitude, the state of someone’s food, water, and housing security are second to none. Find a way to “help others” (instead of complaining about this or that or pointing the finger at what should have been done or at certain people). We all want angels/people to help us when we are down; so, “help others.” Find your way to help, in your own way.

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365 Coaching Tips: Let’s Get Started

In mid-November 2024, I decided to set my goals for 2025. One of the 10 most important goals was to “blog regularly (daily and weekly) about relevant topics and my coaching work.” Setting the goals, then putting them in motion before the end of 2024 allowed me to get rolling along. Must admit, I’m proud of my progress as we all launch into 2025.

So, let’s get started.

January 1 Coaching Tip: Pick one word. One word that YOU can leverage throughout the year, that will empower you, motivate you, slow you down, or speed you up, or help you make decisions. As shared in my January 1, 2025 post, my one word for 2025 is REDUCE. (see it for more on why the word REDUCE)

January 2 Coaching Tip: Explain why. If you want something done or need to delegate or have to reschedule, quickly explain why and/or what’s going on. Most and nearly all humans with a heart (and a brain, with some type of empathy) will understand, and be flexible. Already in the new year, I found myself having to change a few appointments, and when I quickly shared that my 84-year-old mother wanted to have lunch with her three adult kids, everyone I spoke to quickly realized, “moms win!”

January 3 Coaching Tip: Find your best times. Find your best times to work, when you’re really uninterrupted and in flow; when your body thrives on exercise; when you need some downtime. In wearing my Oura ring now for nearly 5 years, my most active time is around 9:00am E, and my best work is done in the morning, right after my important, quiet time reading my devotionals while enjoying my cold brew(s).

One of my priorities in 2025 is to share what I learn in my coaching, to help you in your leadership, life, parenting, family, etc. journey. Let’s keep these coaching tips rolling all year long. Hold me accountable.

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Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

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My One Word for 2025: Reduce

Yes, REDUCE.

Yes, I also use the phrase, “Just Go!” quite often. So why am I making the choice to select REDUCE as my word for 2025? Let me tell you all the reasons.

  1. Reduce plastic usage. Simply, plastic is not healthy, as more and more research is revealing how microplastics are in nearly every new baby born in the USA. What are a few new habits that I have already instituted in my daily routines: a) drinking my cold brew every morning now in a glass, not a plastic glass. b) utilizing a metal tea strainer instead of tea in a plastic tea bag. c) warming up food in the microwave on cookware, and not in plastic re-usable containers. d) carrying water in two metal containers throughout the day and refilling them, instead of having the urge to buy bottled water. e) all vehicles now have re-usable bags to carry groceries, to help reduce the plastic bag excess that is everywhere.
  2. Reduce my weight. In late July and early August, I intend to be running sprints and shooting baskets at the 2025 National Senior Games in Des Moines, Iowa. My goal is to drop down to 148 pounds, so that I can run just a bit quicker against these fast senior women from across the USA. As for habits, a) I must continue my 2024 habit more consistently of writing down daily my food intake as well as my exercise and weighing myself daily. When I do these three things daily, I lose weight. b) I must buy clean eating groceries, i.e. greens, sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, much less chocolate, etc. c) I must reduce having the urge every single day to have some chocolate. Instead, have a piece of fruit or a strawberry or a piece of gum, make a cup of tea, or have a diet ginger ale.
  3. Reduce my food intake, especially reducing sugar. See #2. The sugar addiction that I have, along with many others, can be reduced when I set my mind to do it. New habits: a) Just say NO to chocolate and say YES to naturally sweet items like fruit. b) We love chocolate covered strawberries, so that may be the new “treat” while we reduce chocolate and sugar. c) eat less, as it is much better for my colon-less system. I feel better when I eat less.
  4. Reduce work drama. Not sure if I will work til 75 years old, 70, 65, or 61, but there’s zero need to get caught up in work drama. Just do my work and be grateful for the impacts that I make with my coaching work. New habit in 2025: just don’t engage and smile/nod, press forward.
  5. Reduce my jogging pace/mile and sprinting times. See #2. My goal is to be a role model for others, as a senior athlete. That means I need to be a bit quicker and also remain safe, i.e. no injuries and be healthy. I must continue my 2024 habits of regularly doing sprints and high intensity interval training a couple times per week, and my lifting and strength training also a couple times weekly. Also want to gather some advice from some other sprinters and runners on how to run quicker.
  6. Reduce screen time. The amount of time that we all are spending on screen time/scrolling is ridiculous. Of course it’s helpful when I’m intentionally staying in touch with family and friends, and keeping up with my work and real estate inquiries and projects. However, reading before I go to bed is going to be a new 2025 habit. Read a devotional or 10-20 pages of a book. I really like history, geography, and travel books, so it’s time to consume them.

Reduce. I like the sound of it. What’s YOUR word for 2025? What are your new habits to help make it a reality?

Happy New Year and here’s hoping that you have a great year with special times and superb health. Coach Jen

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Please, Take Vacation.

Please, Take Vacation.
Millions of vacation days every single year in the USA go “unused.”  This makes me shake my head. As we approach the end of our lives, loads of research indicates that our seniors/elders say that they remember the memories and relationships. They also  wish that they would have worked less, and been more bold and courageous. So please, take vacation.
What a recent, one full week of vacation did for me and my partner?
Rest.  We didn’t wake up before 6am and we fell asleep around 10pm or earlier every night. That’s at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, the amount of sleep that we are encouraged to get by all health experts.
Recover. Enjoyed downtime by the pool and the Caribbean Sea did wonders for my soul and mind. The water and sun were soothing.
Health. The resort had a  spa that was very handy; it offered hydrotherapy, massages, pedicures, manicures, personal trainers, etc. It was integrated right in to the resort, instead of being a separate building. The four restaurants all had vegetarian options, which played right in to my new focus of eating no meat or dairy.
Prioritize. Being away from my coaching work and my companies actually allowed me to refocus and re-prioritize what I needed to improve upon during the next 90 days.  It also gave us both great satisfaction as we reviewed what we got accomplished in the last 90 days.
Read. I finally had time, yes time, to sit and read a very impactful 400-page book. This book, “Being Mortal”, will probably help me age more gracefully and also help us as we help care for our parents as they age, too. It was a pivotal read, and I can’t imagine NOT taking the time to read it. And by the way, it had been on my bookshelf for 3 years…
Write. You see that here.
Reconnect. The time out of country, for the second time this year, allowed my partner and I to really connect, talk, and just be together. We were NOT busy, we were instead very present. We were there for one another. And yet still had our own alone time to do whatever the heck we wanted.
So please, take vacation.  It is good for your soul, mind, body, and your relationships at home and work.
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Just Go See Them

In the last 45 days, the opportunity to “Just Go See Them” has come up over and over.  What do I mean by “Just Go See Them?” Some very important people in my life have recently faced some very serious health challenges, and I realized in the past, that maybe I was “too busy” to go see and visit friends during these challenging times.  That wasn’t going to happen this time around.

A very good friend had survived nearly 10 surgeries in the last couple months. We felt he was nearing the end of his life.  So we jumped on a plane, flew to Houston, visited with him (and his wife and daughter). We were able to connect: look at each other, smile, nod, and touch hands.  He died the day after we left.

My girlfriend just had some surgery.  We allowed her to rest for three weeks. On our drive to see her, we bought some flowers, visited for a couple hours to get all caught up on her healing and squeezed her new puppy.  She was full of life again!

One of my best girlfriends was caring for one of her best male friends.  He didn’t have many visitors at the hospital.  My exhausted, care-taking girlfriend reached out to me for a much-needed lift.  I quickly made a stop, picked up some fun items on the clearance aisle, and visited them both in the cardiac- care-unit hospital room.  We laughed, we listened, we prayed.  Together, that visit made the three of us better and more aware of each other. He is now back at home and working again.  She is vacationing with her family.  Both full of life.

My parents were at Mayo’s in Minnesota for some medical check-ups.  Knowing that this could be some complicated news that would be difficult for my parents to hear, I flew to Minnesota to be with my parents. It was one of those moments that a mother and daughter discuss life, each other’s existence, the next steps, and the potential gameplan. Being there further strengthened our incredible bond as mother and daughter.

In the last 45 days, every single person that I have met is “BUSY.” We all are busy.  I was busy.  Every one of these precious friends and family members was  even busier.  But, what I have learned is this:  Just Go See Them.  It Matters. We All Are Busy.  Have No Regrets. Just Go See Them. 

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Keep On Keeping On

Keep trying.
Keep writing.
Keep staying connected with friends and family.
Keep forgiving.
Keep loving.

Keep giving.
Keep listening well.

Keep staying curious.
Keep giving very little advice to others.
Keep believing.
Keep being faithful.

Keep embracing kindness.

Keep resting and recovering.

Keep striving to be a better you.

Keep on keeping on.

 

 

 

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Your Outlook Matters!

Are you a Woman in Leadership in a corporate or entrepreneurial setting? Or do you have a desire to become one? We work with women like you. Women who aspire ‘to sit at the table’ confidently; to run the financial side of business; to lead, collaborate with, and facilitate others; to let ambitions go hand in hand with a good work life balance; and to turn ‘hard work’ into ‘heartwork’, as this propells their leadership.

Our passion is to support/coach women, helping bring out their full potential and taking their leadership to a next level. We focus on the whole person, both work and private life, as we don’t see these as two separate worlds. With our monthly blog, (leveraging examples from our coaching and consulting practices), we provide tips, advice, and new outlooks which will encourage you to move forward. In our blog ‘What’s your top priority?’ we focussed on the importance of putting yourself first (#1), as leadership starts with you. What’s next?! Let’s start with a test.

Test your outlook (Self-Assess)
Answer the following questions with yes or no. We recommend you just follow your heart with your answer, not thinking too long. Tip: why not share your answers with a trusted friend or partner? It may turn out to be the start of your heartwork ‘support-team’.
1. When I wake up, I usually think ‘yes, this is going to be another good day!’.
2. When I receive a ‘bad’ comment, I typically view it as a learning opportunity.
3. I truly believe that not all people have to like me.
4. When my boss wants to have a talk with me, I don’t expect ‘trouble’.
5. When things go wrong or not as planned, I look forward to find the best solutions.

What’s your score?
Did you score four or more yes answers? If so, then there’s a big chance you are the optimistic type who sees the glass as always half-full. With mostly no’s on your list, you are probably the type who’s glass is half-empty or as a person with a pessimistic outlook. Did your answers ‘split’ with 2-3 yes’s or no’s? Then you first have to do some work on self. With a coach, you can explore what makes your answers a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, what’s getting in your way, and find out more about your outlook.

Does it matter? 
Yes! In our practice, we see that optimism facilitates women with their heartwork. Optimists stay focussed, action oriented, and keep moving ahead instead of spiraling down when things do not go the desired way. Optimistic ‘framing’ supports women to sustain themselves on their path to leadership.

Good news!
If optimism does not come naturally to you, the good news is that it can be learned. You can train yourself to be more optimistic, use less energy on negative thoughts, and prevent yourself from spiraling down. In our practice, here’s what we have learned as some tips from other women:
1.    Reflect on what’s really meaningful for you. Listen to your heart and make ‘adaptations’ in your (whole) life, if needed. It ‘brightens up’ your outlook.
2.    If you are a ‘worrier’, list all things you worry about. Which ones can you truly influence? Think of specific actions that will help you influence & solve them,  and then do it!
3.    When something goes wrong, do not think of the worse-case scenario. Instead,  reverse it! As a practice, sketch the positive scenarios first.
4.    Do you often have a little voice in your head that amplifies and/or dispapproves of  every mistake? Talk back and move forward!
5.    Are you an ‘approval junkie’? Then reflect on ‘What makes others opinions more important then my own?!’
6.    Do you avoid conflicts? Remember that conflicts are part of life and not the end of the world. On the contrary, they often lead to the long sought-after solution! Embrace this solution.
7.    Is your environment a bit ‘gloomy’? Then step out of this environment regularly. How? By meeting new people and doing new things. Like siging up of an art or fitness class, doing community work, reading inspiring books and articles…….
8.     Go the appreciative way: look for what works, instead of what does not work. It ‘opens up’ new possibilities and changes your worldview.

Just do it
It is this ‘simplicity’ which will make the tips effective. At the same time, this is the ‘difficult’ part. It requires letting go of old habits, exploring new territories, and adapting your framework. Yes, this is a challenging process and it may take some practicing. Where do you start? It all starts with a choice: choosing yourself and engaging in heartwork. Once you have taken this leap, practice is the key. Take many small steps (instead of one big step). Be aware of ‘overdoing’ it, as being too optimistic often leads to excuses. With all that in mind, just imagine what could happen if you go the optimistic way? Do not stop there, just do it!

Note: Authors Maleene de Ridder and Jen Wilfong are passionate about developing women as leaders. They embrace purposeful balance, wellness and ongoing learning, as well as leveraging global trends to further their coaching & consulting businesses. Both are certified coaches from the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara, CA. For more information, check them out on the web at www.maleenederidder.com and www.jenwilfong.com