Tag: Intentional

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 85th, 86th and 87th

March 26th Coaching Tip: Find The Yes.

Too many of my coaching conversations revolve around people’s frustration from being told “no” or “nope, can’t do that” or “no way”. For example, today I had two different leaders being told that they can NOT hire additional employees. Instead of being told “no”, I coached them to figure out how can they get a “yes, you can hire”. As we looked thru their business, it was evident that their competitive metrics as compared to others were quite average, i.e. 40-50% on a 1-100% scale vs. competition. And then we dug deeper, and their development of a current newer hire has not gone as expected, and that individual is failing. My coaching question was pointed: “what do you own in getting the answer, “no”?” After some silence, the leader admitted that he hadn’t run his business like he was intending. And after some more intentional questions from me and answers from him, we developed a monthly accountability plan for him to run his business better and to more intentionally develop his teammates. Time will tell, but figure out how to find the yes.

March 27th Coaching Tip: Don’t Rain…

Don’t rain on other people’s parade. When someone is really excited about something that they deeply care about and are telling you all about it, listen, smile, and celebrate with them. Whether you like it or not, it is important to THEM. Be curious, ask questions, learn more about them and their “parade”, and they will think you are a rockstar. Why? Because you listened to them and didn’t rain on their parade. For example, my oldest brother and mother own harness horses together and love to talk and share about their horses, race results, and the new baby foals. All I have to do is listen, ask questions, and then celebrate their successes…or be empathetic when things don’t go well. For example, recently one of their favorite mares died as it was having a baby foal, and the foal died, too. They were grieving, and so we all started sharing photos of this super special, winning racehorse when it was winning, training, and enjoying it’s pasture. Don’t Rain on other people’s parades. Just don’t.

March 28th Coaching Tip: End of Quarter.

How did your quarter go? This was a question that was asked every single 90 days when I worked as a leader at Caterpillar. Same thing now happens at Bank of America/Merrill Lynch. Let me ask you: How was your quarter? What did you intentionally get accomplished? What slid and didn’t get executed to meet your expectation? What are you most proud of? What is the biggest disappointment? How did your personal goals progress? How did you celebrate others’ goals?

We just intentionally had dinner outside and talked about what we are proud of since the beginning of the year. We started with personal priorities, then pivoted to professional and work priorities. Overall, even though we both battled bronchitis and Covid, we beat it and remain standing strong. I also made substantial progress on my real estate businesses, with getting one home under contract (to close in mid May), another home will be listed in mid May, and the remodel project is right on track for completion in late summer. Regarding my coaching work, today I summarized all the coaching engagements that I started in 1Q2025. The impact that I’ve already noticed with these leaders and advisors is off to a great start, and by YE2025, results will be substantial. Look at your results, at the end of every quarter.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 82nd, 83rd and 84th

March 23rd Coaching Tip: Friends First.

As I watched my IU Hoosier women’s basketball team wrap up their loss to South Carolina, I noticed that one of our IU players stopped and truly hugged one of the SC players. And then, after all the players shook hands, the SC player came back thru the line and hugged, then quickly gave a sweet cheek-kiss to the IU player. Why would they do that, aren’t they competitors? Yes, of course they are competitors. But they are friends first and have been friends for years. It was a pleasant site to witness, and the TV cameras even showed the parents of both of these players hugging each other. As you compete, remember to remain friends with those who really are friends. I’ve learned that I now have friends that I competed against or with daily in practice, and I’m so glad that many are still my friends. Friends first!

March 24th Coaching Tip: Evolve.

My word for the year is Reduce. One of my colleague’s word is Evolve. I like it, because she is our senior coach, with incredible experience, and more senior than me and our manager. She wants to continue to evolve by embracing new ways of doing business, learning from others, and working a bit differently. If you were in the last few years or months of your career, how willing would you be willing to evolve?

Many of my elders have shared with me that when you stop learning and growing, you start slipping and dying. Now that I have more grey hairs, I truly support this thinking. Tonight, we watched “The Americas” series on Peacock, narrated by Tom Hanks. We kept watching episode after episode, consuming all of the incredible cinematography as well as the education on all of these animals, insects, and species. Keep evolving.

March 25th Coaching Tip: No 2am Texts.

My mother and I talk and text every single day. We share a lot and are very close. Over the last month, she has shared with me that someone in our family has texted her at 2am on a couple occasions and has also sent an additional 8-10 texts since March 19.

This is a coaching lesson in emotional intelligence: 1) when you want a senior/elderly/84 year old woman to help you, don’t text them at 2am. 2) when you want help, maybe call them and ask how THEY are doing and really care about what is shared. 3) if you are sending an additional 8-10 texts, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “why aren’t I getting any response?” (from the 84 year old woman). 4) and don’t deny it when you are called out for doing it.

I have texted my family member twice now, and let them know that my mom is busy thru tax time (April 15) and managing over 10 farms. I also requested that the 2am texts stop. Due to al ack of emotional intelligence, the family member (of course) indicated that they don’t text much, didn’t do the 2am texts, wasn’t adding any stress to the situation, and indicated this was like high school drama. Bottom line: wake up, look in the mirror, own your errors, be more in tune with elderly people, and for goodness sakes, don’t be rude to them when you need a favor. Seniors (like my mother) have who multiple stents in their hearts and have had two hip surgeries in the last 2+ years, lost their husband of 63 years, keep their phone “on”, charged up, and nearby. and their Apple watch on their wrist. Just stop and think, no 2am texts.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 76th, 77th and 78th

March 17th Coaching Tip: Green!

It’s St. Patty’s Day and many cultures act like the Irish characters all around the globe. I made it a point to wear green and always have done so. It’s fun, unique, and honors a culture and country. And I really like this special day because it hints of springtime, so sporting some “spring green” feels good and fresh. St. Patty’s Day also is always around college basketball’s March Madness, which is win and advance -or- lose and go home = green for go win! Lastly, green is my favorite color. Green was a favorite color of my grandfather George, and he and I are buddies. Green signals a sign of life to me. Green is that hint of money, and when people have some green in their pocket, they have an extra kick to their step. Celebrating St. Patty’s is always fun for me. Go Green!

March 18th Coaching Tip: Trust Your Gut.

Currently in the middle of a remodel project of a 95-year-old home. And from the beginning, we have been working with one subcontractor that just didn’t quite sit right with me. Fast forward a few months to now. We received his quote for new cabinets in the kitchen, bathrooms and the laundry room. The quote was as much as a new car, and it wasn’t complete and a bit suspect. Thus, I really trusted my gut and reached out to some cabinet suppliers that I utilized back in 2004. Sure enough, my gut was correct; the second quote was much more detailed, included taxes and installation, and was still 20% lower than the quote from the questionable contractor. Trust your gut, especially when it impacts three things: 1) YOU, 2) YOUR FAMILY, and 3) YOUR MONEY. No one will care more about those three things that YOU.

March 19th Coaching Tip: Ask For Flex.

The last couple mornings, my Oura ring was clearly indicating that something was off with me, i.e. elevated temp, high heart rate, poor sleep patterns, recommending rest mode. Yesterday, I tested positive for COVID. Not once, but twice. I actually thought I only had a cold, since I have been traveling steadily for 60 days and had just returned from New York City. Life goes on, and so it’s my responsibility as a coach to be proactive. Before 9am daily this week, I’ve reached out to all of my coaching appointments letting them know I need some flexibility and gave them a couple options: email me an update or reschedule for the next two weeks. Quickly they responded with complete understanding, and most were willing to wait to talk to me/reschedule for next week. When you need, ask for flex.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: the 67th, 68th & 69th

March 8th Coaching Tip: Coach Kids.

If you want to improve your leadership skills, coach kids. Yep, I said it, coach kids. If you can get second graders to 1) listen to you, 2) execute what you ask them to do, 3) have fun doing it, 4) win and lose, and 5) develop themselves thru coaching and practice, and as coach, deal with the parents with calm, integrity, and respect, then you can lead adults. You might just find that coaching other parents’ kids is the best way for you to fine tune some skills, and even learn from the kids, too. Today I watched two of my very special friends coach 2nd graders, and they both were so good with them. One of them is now a referee for kids’ games, while the other is now the director of the youth basketball league. Coach, referee, and director roles are great ways to improve your leadership skills. Coach kids.

When I was 24 years old, I coached 6th and 7th grade girls basketball. These gals had little confidence, but the parents really wanted me to coach them. I agreed, and we got to work, had a blast, and won. How did we win? We ran simple plays, played intense defense, and made our layups. To win, we realized that that we had to improve our dribbling and passing the ball better, so that we could hit the layups after creating steals with our defense. The kids had fun winning and developing their skills; the parents enjoyed watching their girls’ confidence skyrocket. Coach kids.

March 9th Coaching Tip: Don’t Delay.

Tax Day (approx. April 15th) comes every year here in the USA, without fail. And as an adult or business, you know it’s coming. This evening, I got one last list of questions from my CPA on remaining items that needed to be provided or questions that needed answered. What a relief, it’s all darn near done, and I’m not rushing to get it submitted.

For me, getting important projects done a bit early started back in college. By my junior and especially my senior year, I was prioritizing my surge of studying two evenings before exams. For example, if the exam was on a Wednesday, I was doing the bulk of my studying on Sunday and Monday evenings. This allowed me to think thru the materials on Tuesday, and if need be, it allowed me more time to dig in to the areas that I needed to tighten up. Decades later, I do this same tactic when I am asked to speak: I will work a week to two weeks in advance to fine tune the exact timing of the topics, how and when to intertwine the audience, and when to ask my colleagues on stage questions. This prep feels natural, and allows me to be smiling with calm instead of being anxious and underprepared. Don’t delay!

March 10th Coaching Tip: Here for you.

There’s that phrase that many people use when offering help, “I’m here for you.” How do you respond when they do need you? Today, this happened three times in my orbit. One was at work, with a very significant leader and team requesting my input on a Letter of Intent to potentially buy another business. I received it last week, printed it off, read thru it twice, and provided feedback. I was there for them when they needed me. Then my mother was called by her neighbor, and my mom said, “well of course I will take you to get your bloodwork done. I’m here for you.” And the third example was a public figure called me today, wanting to know if I could meet her tonight in Miami. I explained that I’m in New York City, but gave her options on when we could connect. It was apparent she wanted to talk face to face; we will make that happen. As a reminder, when you tell people that you are there for them, then make sure you honor that and be a model of integrity: here for you.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 64, 65 & 66

March 5th Coaching Tip: Step Up.

In a couple of my coaching conversations today, the advisors that were leading their teams were frustrated with the lack of consistent high-level execution by their teammates. As I listened to them, it was clear to me that it was time to have the discussion, “step up or step out” with these underperforming teammates. However, as I drove home, it got me thinking, “what has the leader done to help them execute better? how are he/she coaching and developing them? what would the teammate say about the leaders and their instructions to complete tasks?” Both the leader and the teammates need to step up. If after all coaching and developing has been done, then it may be time for the teammate to “step out” and find a better role or fit elsewhere.

March 6th Coaching Tip: Remain Curious.

As we were driving to the airport this evening, we looked out the window to the south and there was something we had never seen before. It looked like a drone with lights was falling and spinning a bit out of control. We just couldn’t figure it out. Once I got to the airport, I started reading online to seeing anyone else noticed it or even recorded it. Sure enough, with a few minutes, figured it out: the SpaceX Starship had a fiery breakup, after departing from TX. This is the second explosion in the last two launches. Thank goodness there were no humans on board. For all of us, remain curious if you see something different or out of the ordinary. This applies to darn near everything in your life…including the engineers at SpaceX. I’m sure they are now very curious about why their efforts failed two times in a row. And it applies to your life, your personal safety, your kids, your home. Remain curious.

March 7th Coaching Tip: Keep it close.

You can’t win everything and always be atop the leaderboard on everything. With life comes losses. With life comes challenges. With life comes new or younger talent. If you can’t win, keep it close. My beloved Indiana University women’s basketball team really gave an outstanding team effort against the team from Univ of Southern California in the second round game of the Big Ten tournament. USC had much more talent than IU, but the IU women never ever gave up, kept up their intensity high until the end, and only lost by five points.

With basketball or business, it’s challenging. Be ready, as someone or some other company or team is always after you/your business. It might be developing a better product, at a lower price. It maybe a new, younger and quicker talent on the court; or more mature players who can execute under pressure. Bottom line, it’s hard to win at everything, all the time. If you do lose, do it with class: learn from it, evaluate your next steps, and keep it close. Always.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 61, 62 and 63

March 2nd Coaching Tip: REST.

REST. I learned that acronym from a four-star general who spoke to leaders at Caterpillar over 15 years ago. And here we are 15 years later, and I can easily recall the essence of his message: take time to Read relevant and timely information, ensure you get your Exercise (150 minutes/week), get enough Sleep (7-8 hours), and Take Time To Think.

This general reinforced that the easy decisions are already made at an individual level or a lower level. The decisions that get to you as a high level leader or business owner are more difficult, and it’s imperative that you have time to think clearly about important decisions and all the potential and unintended consequences. REST, because it matters to your results, personally and professionally.

March 3rd Coaching Tip: Draft.

Today was my third coaching conversation with a future leader, and he has big plans for the current team, the current leader’s succession plan, and the growth that makes him giddy with excitement. He had been talking alot about it, quickly, and excitedly, but he wasn’t clearly articulating it. In our 2nd conversation, his homework was to draft/sketch what was in his head and put it on “paper”.

I was so proud of him today; prior to our meeting time, he emailed me his draft plan, and it was simple with just 4 pages. He had already used it the draft with the local management team, he has talked to his current leader, and now ready to share the draft with him/current leader. As we both spent 70 minutes really digging in to it today, we further improved it, added a few more details. He also agreed to keep it as an updated version with a date, so that he can keep track of the progress, plans, and be able to share the history with anyone who may join the team. Draft it up, it will help bring clarity to you … and others.

March 4th Coaching Tip: Time is Money.

Got up early today, drove to Coral Gables, FL to meet a colleague so that we could coach a number of leaders and advisors. We were there, on time, and ready to roll. The support women had sent out the emails and reminders, and ordered a lovely lunch. However, the office manager/leaders had NOT done the appropriate prep, didn’t have enough appointments set up for us, thus, it was an average day of efficiency. Actually, it was below average. For an upcoming two-day trip to New York City with this same group, you bet that I will be ensuring the schedule BEFORE we leave, so that others understand how valuable my time is. My schedule should be filled with high priority clients who want coaching and improvement.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: here’s to 52, 53 and 54

February 21st Coaching Tip: Recovery.

Some days, one needs recovery. After having two consecutive nights of less sleep than what I like to get, I decided to “recover” today. My exercise today included just a one-mile of fast walking; then I took a nap in the late afternoon by the pool and finished the evening with three short strolls before laying it down early. Even with my work today, I took a few less coaching calls, and I didn’t jam in things today due to my focus on my priority: recovery. I was still productive and ate balanced, just made the decision to turn down the dial a bit and recover. Prioritize yourself: you are your most valuable asset. Allow recovery.

February 22nd Coaching Tip: Text Real Quick.

If you’re trying to get ahold of someone, give them a quick text and simply ask, “are you free for 10 minutes?” or “is this a good time?” or “when do you have a solid 20-30 minutes? Need to run something by you.” Research indicates that a high percentage of our texts get answered in seven minutes or less. Seven minutes. If you want to connect with someone, give them a text, arrange a time, and then be ready to share your idea/question when you do get that time scheduled. It doesn’t work for everything or everyone, but for many, simply text real quick.

February 23rd Coaching Tip: Sunday Funday.

Sometimes, one just needs a beach chair and a sunset. And that’s exactly what we did today. We took it easy, enjoyed some “church time” at home, watched and listened to some relaxing geography and animal shows, did our workouts, ate well and prepped some meals for the week. But the quiet time and the beauty of southwest coast of FL was calling our names. We threw a couple beach chairs in the car, grabbed a couple sweatshirts and some water, then drove to the beach. Heck, we even squeezed our convertible into a partial parking spot, and it worked. We just sat there for an hour and simply enjoyed all that the good Lord created. It was a wonderful way to end our Sunday Funday.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 49th, 50th and 51st Tips

February 18th Coaching Tip: Own it.

Today during a coaching conversation with a couple men who are buying a business, there were a bit hesitant in working proactively with the current business owner. They hadn’t done the due diligence, and lacked a process for introducing themselves to the current business owner’s clients. They had no plan. After listening for a while, I leveraged an example from outside the industry, i.e. buying 25 car washes in a different state that we had never seen. They quickly knew what to do: fly to that state, rent a car, inspect all 25 car washes regarding all of their locations, better understand the real estate values, inspect the overall care of the car wash, interview key employees, evaluate how good is the drainage, how old/new is the car wash equipment, and on and on. Then I pivoted them. I said then asked, “You’re about to buy a business. Act like you own it. What do you want to know about it, similar to the car washes?” And they got it. They quickly realized that they didn’t know what they were truly buying, and they weren’t acting like the new owners. Own it!

February 19th Coaching Tip: Been There.

We all have been on the job the very fast day. All of us, every single one of us. Tonight, we walked to dinner and had a new waiter. He was pleasant and greeted us nicely, and of course, struggled answering some basic questions: “what’s the soup of the day? is the calamari fried or not?” We could tell he was new, and we smiled and said we understand. He quickly went back to the kitchen, got the answering, wrote them on his order pad, and came back to the table with the answers. We ordered that soup of the day and the fried calamari. He checked on us without being too nosey, filled our drinks, and shared with us the gelato flavors. Of course, we ordered the mango sorbet. It was yummy, he was pleasant and learning quickly. We’ve all been there. Be a friend, help a guy out.

February 20th Coaching Tip: Void? Lead.

When there’s a void, step up and lead. I saw it today in two of my coaching conversations. A team with 5 “leaders” and 3 “staffers” had explosive growth in 2024, and are on track to do the same thing again in 2025. However, they all were complaining about workload, capacity, lack of accountability, shocked by what their “staffers” told them recently about fairness, etc. It was quite clear to me after listening to the 5 “leaders” share their insights, that they were most likely the bulk of the problem. No one was truly stepping up to lead. There was lack of clarity in compensation, roles, expectations, how to hold the “staffers” accountable, how to communicate with their leaders. There was limited to no coaching or development of their best and their worst performing “staffers.”

Another example was in my own work. I was given the opportunity to present a quick summary to my boss about a complete plan to support a growing part of our business. In one page, I laid out the short-term plan with the resources needed and the budget. She read it and quickly approved it. Bottom line: when there’s a void, step up and lead. People want to be lead with simplicity and clarity, and fairness.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 40, 41 and 42

February 9th Coaching Tip: Set High Standards.

Yesterday, I witnessed an uncomfortable moment. During a college softball game, the batter laid down a bunt, and then slowly ran towards first base, almost turned out of the baseline. It appeared to everyone at the game that the batter had already told herself that she would be thrown out and had convinced herself not to run fast to first base. Meanwhile, the defense/3rd baseman mishandled the bunt and had an errant throw to first base. Frustration sat in quickly by the batter’s teammates, as they screamed at her for not running hard to first base. And then the uncomfortable moment really happened: the head coach, standing in the 3rd base coaching box, shouted across the field to her team’s dugout, and said, “Stop…stop screaming at her (the batter). Seniors, you set the culture, step up and don’t allow this lazy culture to sneak in.” The entire crowd was in a bit of shock.

However, it worked. The next inning, these same gals went out and got hits, loaded the bases, and then a senior hit a triple that knocked in 2 more runs. That’s responding to an uncomfortable moment, by the seniors. The seniors did know the standards and responded to the accountability that the coach called out. What makes this special is that there was a high standard that was set, and the seniors quickly realized that they were the problem, and they fixed it immediately. Set high standards.

February 10th Coaching Tip: Clarify Goals.

As we are now in the 10th day of the 2nd month of the new year, recommend that it’s a great time to ask your colleagues and teammates IF they have 100% clarity on the goals. If they do have clarity, have them state what are the goals and their roles in making those goals happen. If they do NOT have clarity, then help them gain clarity. For example, ask what else do they need to understand, repeat what the goals were, ask them to rephrase how those goals impact them in their role, etc.

To help improve employee engagement, clarify goals and roles. Today, I realized that I don’t have to do three things that I did in 2024. This give me more time and mindspace to work on coaching and speaking. I’m thrilled, as I was not aware of these changes…because they had not been communicated until today. Now I can truly focus my time on these new, fewer high priority goals, Clarify goals.

February 11th Coaching Tip: Say What?

Every now and then, we hear things and roll it around in our head for a few, and then say, “Say What?” It happened to me today. Overnight, I had received a couple emails about an important and urgent situation that just didn’t make complete sense. Then we found out more info, and yet more info. Recommend that if you are saying to yourself, “say what?”, dig in, find out more info, set up some quick meetings/conference calls with people who are aware of the situation to gain their insights, all in an effort to understand. This deliberate action of learning more will help you move on from “say what?” to “ok, now I understand.” In my coaching work, sometimes we see teammates become overwhelmed or frozen, and then they don’t do anything. Seek to understand when others are looking at you awkwardly, stunned with silence, or have no input. Help them move on from, “say what?”

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: The 31st, 32nd and 33rd Days

January 31st Coaching Tip: Take The Call.

It was a Friday morning, and I was drinking my coffee (cold brew coffee, ice, with Fairlife chocolate milk) and moving slowly after an intense work week. My business phone rang, and something told me to get up and take the call. Although it wasn’t a priority for me, it was a high priority for the gal who called me. We had never met, but a common colleague connected us to talk about a potential new job for her. After explaining to her that I needed to get up and moving, she agreed to give me a minute to get moving and we ultimately had a 28 minute conversation while I walked outside and heard her story and excitement for the new job. Please don’t ever underestimate how important it is to give people time, take their call, hear them out, share some insights, and then smile as they flourish. Take the call!

February 1st Coaching Tip: Never Ever Give Up.

Alot of people in the USA right now, less than two weeks after the Presidential Inauguration, are scared about the amount of change that is happening via executive orders by the President. Each and every new leader implements change, sometimes leaders gather input for 0-100 days and others move quickly. In either case, those leaders think that they are doing what’s right. However, over the centuries, we have seen that surprises happen, unintended consequences happen, good results happen, etc. If you believe in something, don’t ever give up. If you believe in unions, then go support them. If you believe in immigration, get involved and learn the law. If you can’t buy a home due to bad credit, then start paying down debt and increase your income to pay debt down quicker. Bottom line, if you believe in something, don’t ever give up. It’s worth it!

February 2nd Coaching Tip: The Extra Mile.

The extra mile is…lonely. Very few people are there. So what do I mean? Here are a few examples that I’ve witnessed over the decades in the business world. Seems like we know who are the hard workers who show up early, and stay a bit later than everyone else. They seem to get their work done, and thus get more work to do, which leads to opportunities. The leader who is speaking on the main stage for a large event, and he really focuses on his stage presence, his timing, his pace, his tone; his preparation is taken seriously. Outside of work, I see it personally as I try to be a role model of senior wellness. I’m training and running sprints at the local middle school track, and shooting baskets on the asphalt courts. How many people are also shooting and running? Few, very, very few. There are 8-10 basketball courts at this middle school, and no one has been there practicing shots for all the times that I have been there.

The extra mile is lonely; however, commit to YOU and YOUR development, and you will shine. Even if no one is there to see you shine. YOU will see yourself shine, and that’s what matters most.