Tag: Intentional

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365 Coaching Tips: the 13th, 14th and 15th Days

January 13th Coaching Tip: Family Talks. In our coaching work, we help our colleagues/coachees as they prep for crucial conversations. In Kerry Patterson’s book, “Crucial Conversations,” most of these crucial convos don’t even happen, and then when they do, they don’t go well. Thus, we as coaches help our colleagues practice these important convos. Today, a husband and wife indicated that they want to bring on at least one of their two sons into their business. And yet, they had nothing in writing, nothing that either of them could confidently replicate with clarity. The husband and wife soon realized that they weren’t even on the same page. The mother wanted the son(s) to be “hungry” and the father wanted to be more “helpful” to his son(s). Thus, I encouraged them to get on the same page, draft it up, and then have a family talk with both sons, so that both sons heard the same message. Then, if either son wants to enter the business in the future and they discuss the opportunity further, the four of them would potentially have a more solid foundation. Remember, have those crucial family talks.

January 14th Coaching Tip: Plan Ahead. Whether its travel for work or vacation downtime, or getting groceries for a Sunday brunch planned with friends, or an early morning Uber ride to the airport, plan ahead. This week I’ll be in a number of hotels, crossing multiple state lines, and in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Thus, I planned ahead by truly looking at the map, understanding drive times and locations, and knowing when I need to be where. Thinking about my personal routines, I even bought my cold brew the night before, and got up this morning and was rollin’ with my favorite coffee while reading my devotionals. This allowed me to get ready and arrive to an unfamiliar office 20 minutes in advance (instead of rushing in to a coffee shop, and then being dissatisfied with my java). Knowing that I could walk to this office in just 2-3 minutes from the hotel that I picked (so that I wouldn’t even have to get in the car and drive/commute), I got my morning routine, breakfast, and workday started as normalized as I possibly could have done. Folks, plan ahead to help reduce stress and you’ll be surprised how much it increases your efficiency.

January 15th Coaching Tip: Stop Burnout. Start saying “no” to certain things and start saying “yes” to yourself. Today, I coached two teams who were “burned out, bored, (not thriving).” After listening to what was going on, they shared that they have too many clients, and many of those clients don’t pay them or are so simple and could be served by someone else more effectively and happily. Gently, we all looked at one another after I had them repeat what they said, “we have too many clients who consume our time and don’t pay us (much).” In my coaching work, we remind our coachees that it is YOUR business. You make the decisions. You select your clients. You can say “yes,” and you can also say, “no”. My recommendation is for you to clearly identify WHO you want to serve and then stick to it. Serve clients that make you smile, that you truly want to help, that take your advice/pay for your expertise, and you both grow from helping each other. Say YES to the right clients, and that will help reduce burnout.

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365 Coaching Tips: Let’s Get Started

In mid-November 2024, I decided to set my goals for 2025. One of the 10 most important goals was to “blog regularly (daily and weekly) about relevant topics and my coaching work.” Setting the goals, then putting them in motion before the end of 2024 allowed me to get rolling along. Must admit, I’m proud of my progress as we all launch into 2025.

So, let’s get started.

January 1 Coaching Tip: Pick one word. One word that YOU can leverage throughout the year, that will empower you, motivate you, slow you down, or speed you up, or help you make decisions. As shared in my January 1, 2025 post, my one word for 2025 is REDUCE. (see it for more on why the word REDUCE)

January 2 Coaching Tip: Explain why. If you want something done or need to delegate or have to reschedule, quickly explain why and/or what’s going on. Most and nearly all humans with a heart (and a brain, with some type of empathy) will understand, and be flexible. Already in the new year, I found myself having to change a few appointments, and when I quickly shared that my 84-year-old mother wanted to have lunch with her three adult kids, everyone I spoke to quickly realized, “moms win!”

January 3 Coaching Tip: Find your best times. Find your best times to work, when you’re really uninterrupted and in flow; when your body thrives on exercise; when you need some downtime. In wearing my Oura ring now for nearly 5 years, my most active time is around 9:00am E, and my best work is done in the morning, right after my important, quiet time reading my devotionals while enjoying my cold brew(s).

One of my priorities in 2025 is to share what I learn in my coaching, to help you in your leadership, life, parenting, family, etc. journey. Let’s keep these coaching tips rolling all year long. Hold me accountable.

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Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

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Keep Moving.

Keep Moving.  It’s a healthy thing to do considering the amount of time we are sitting.  But, HOW do I squeeze that in during my busy days and evenings?

Have a walking meeting with a colleague at work (instead of sitting in an office or conference room).

Meet a friend and go for a walk (instead of sitting for a cup of coffee or dinner).

When going to the store or work, park away from the front door or elevator (instead of squeezing into to a close spot, and getting a door ding).

After dinner at home, slide those walking shoes on for a 15 minute walk or jump on the bike for a quick spin of the neighborhood (instead of sliding in to your recliner).

Walk the dog, or the neighbor’s dog, or pet sit.  Dogs will get you up regularly and look forward to walks & being with their humans in nature.

When waiting in the airport, simply go for a couple strolls up and down the concourse (instead of sitting in the uncomfortable and hard seats at the gate).

When in an elevator by yourself, do some toe raises.  Or better yet, take the stairs if they are well lit and provide a sense of safety (instead of just standing).

During the ads on TV shows, stand up. Do a few squats. Squeeze in 10 push-ups (instead of just sitting).

Blue Zones research indicates that people who move naturally live longer.  I am trying to find ways to move naturally during moments throughout the day. What will inspire you to do the same thing?

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Please, Take Vacation.

Please, Take Vacation.
Millions of vacation days every single year in the USA go “unused.”  This makes me shake my head. As we approach the end of our lives, loads of research indicates that our seniors/elders say that they remember the memories and relationships. They also  wish that they would have worked less, and been more bold and courageous. So please, take vacation.
What a recent, one full week of vacation did for me and my partner?
Rest.  We didn’t wake up before 6am and we fell asleep around 10pm or earlier every night. That’s at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, the amount of sleep that we are encouraged to get by all health experts.
Recover. Enjoyed downtime by the pool and the Caribbean Sea did wonders for my soul and mind. The water and sun were soothing.
Health. The resort had a  spa that was very handy; it offered hydrotherapy, massages, pedicures, manicures, personal trainers, etc. It was integrated right in to the resort, instead of being a separate building. The four restaurants all had vegetarian options, which played right in to my new focus of eating no meat or dairy.
Prioritize. Being away from my coaching work and my companies actually allowed me to refocus and re-prioritize what I needed to improve upon during the next 90 days.  It also gave us both great satisfaction as we reviewed what we got accomplished in the last 90 days.
Read. I finally had time, yes time, to sit and read a very impactful 400-page book. This book, “Being Mortal”, will probably help me age more gracefully and also help us as we help care for our parents as they age, too. It was a pivotal read, and I can’t imagine NOT taking the time to read it. And by the way, it had been on my bookshelf for 3 years…
Write. You see that here.
Reconnect. The time out of country, for the second time this year, allowed my partner and I to really connect, talk, and just be together. We were NOT busy, we were instead very present. We were there for one another. And yet still had our own alone time to do whatever the heck we wanted.
So please, take vacation.  It is good for your soul, mind, body, and your relationships at home and work.
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Just Go See Them

In the last 45 days, the opportunity to “Just Go See Them” has come up over and over.  What do I mean by “Just Go See Them?” Some very important people in my life have recently faced some very serious health challenges, and I realized in the past, that maybe I was “too busy” to go see and visit friends during these challenging times.  That wasn’t going to happen this time around.

A very good friend had survived nearly 10 surgeries in the last couple months. We felt he was nearing the end of his life.  So we jumped on a plane, flew to Houston, visited with him (and his wife and daughter). We were able to connect: look at each other, smile, nod, and touch hands.  He died the day after we left.

My girlfriend just had some surgery.  We allowed her to rest for three weeks. On our drive to see her, we bought some flowers, visited for a couple hours to get all caught up on her healing and squeezed her new puppy.  She was full of life again!

One of my best girlfriends was caring for one of her best male friends.  He didn’t have many visitors at the hospital.  My exhausted, care-taking girlfriend reached out to me for a much-needed lift.  I quickly made a stop, picked up some fun items on the clearance aisle, and visited them both in the cardiac- care-unit hospital room.  We laughed, we listened, we prayed.  Together, that visit made the three of us better and more aware of each other. He is now back at home and working again.  She is vacationing with her family.  Both full of life.

My parents were at Mayo’s in Minnesota for some medical check-ups.  Knowing that this could be some complicated news that would be difficult for my parents to hear, I flew to Minnesota to be with my parents. It was one of those moments that a mother and daughter discuss life, each other’s existence, the next steps, and the potential gameplan. Being there further strengthened our incredible bond as mother and daughter.

In the last 45 days, every single person that I have met is “BUSY.” We all are busy.  I was busy.  Every one of these precious friends and family members was  even busier.  But, what I have learned is this:  Just Go See Them.  It Matters. We All Are Busy.  Have No Regrets. Just Go See Them. 

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Keep On Keeping On

Keep trying.
Keep writing.
Keep staying connected with friends and family.
Keep forgiving.
Keep loving.

Keep giving.
Keep listening well.

Keep staying curious.
Keep giving very little advice to others.
Keep believing.
Keep being faithful.

Keep embracing kindness.

Keep resting and recovering.

Keep striving to be a better you.

Keep on keeping on.

 

 

 

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Intentional & Curious

In February, we headed to Mayo’s with incredible intentionality. We did not like the uncurious answers by local doctors and experts to our questions about our health. We scheduled, in advance, a two-day appointment. This gave us time to gather our records, which helped Mayo’s with their work in understanding our health situation much better.
  • Was the $1,000 Trip (food, airfare and 2 hotel nights) worth it? Yes.
  • Why? When you find out that at this 4th opinion, not just a 2nd or 3rd opinion, there is “no need for surgical intervention on your heart,” we were relieved and that was a priceless feeling. In common language, the doc said “we don’t think you need open heart surgery.”
  • Are you staying curious enough, when you know the symptoms are NOT there? Are you intentional enough to go get multiple opinions? Are you willing to take the time and energy to do it? Do you do this with your business? Your own health?
My lesson learned is quite simple: remain curious and be intentional. If you settle, sometimes an unnecessary open heart surgery can happen due to the system’s or the doctors’ lack of curiosity, as well as the potential conflict of being paid handsomely for the surgery.
In reading and finishing (billionaire) Ray Dalio’s book, “Principles”, he talks thoughtfully about radical open mindedness and radical transparency. He, too, went through the energy and effort of getting 4-5 medical opinions, only to find out that he NEVER had cancer in the first place.
Remain curious and intentional, my friends.
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90 Day Priorities

You have some goals and priorities at the “new year”? Do you keep those goals progressing every 90 days?
Here’s a hint to help you execute on those goals:
Write them down. 
Review them and discuss them with someone you deeply trust throughout January.  Weekly. Then do that same process again in February. Weekly.  And again in March.  Weekly.
Wisely attack a few of your goals. All of your annual goals do NOT have to be started in January.
For example, I have always wanted to read more. Every single year. But in 2018, I was more specific with my “read more” goal. I wanted to read books that would help me improve my leadership training and business ownership skills, and to help me coach others on sales growth. After discussing this with a ferocious reader, he recommended that I utilize an app and listen to books as I drive. So I downloaded the mobile app Audible, and got my first book free. I have already finished it, downloaded another book and finished it, too. And have read five hardback books that were within reach in my office. Yes, three books read by Feb 4. And now 7 books read by March 17, 2018. A new record for me, all because I changed a few critical behaviors: downloaded an app, listened/listening to books on Audible, and taking more time to read the good books that I already own.
The annual “eat more healthy goal” was also written down. However, this year I am taking trips to the grocery store and buying different type of foods. Olives. Oranges. Sugar-free dark chocolate. And I listened to a podcast on mindful eating; now I am much more aware of WHAT I am eating and the size of portion, as I now compare those portions to my palm and hand.
Lesson learned for me is simply this: take VERY specific actions to change behavior quickly, after you write down and share your goals. Review your progress weekly, and then re-evaluate every 90 days.  Simply ask yourself, how did you do? If you progress and achieve at 75-80% success rate, pat yourself on the back, and continue your progress.  Kudos to YOU!
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Reflections at Mid-Life

Now that I’m less that two months away from hitting the half century (50) mark, felt it was time to reflect on what I’m so grateful for during these last five decades.

My Parents. Always there, so supportive. Taught me how to work, that details and follow up matter, and that traditions can be made and upheld.
My Family. Thanks to my brothers, I truly enjoy being an aunt to 11 nieces and nephews, and savor the memories during the summer trips with them.
My Homes. Carmel, Indiana is my home now, although my roots go back to Carthage, Knightstown, and Bloomington. Connecticut, Nashville, Houston, and Peoria were stops along the way that transformed my career development, as well as helping me to see so many ways to live.
Ongoing Learning. What an opportunity it was to go to Harvard Business School in 2007, and then on to the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara in 2010 for my executive coaching certification.  These two “mid-life” stops have been critical to my ability to remain relevant in the business world as well as improving my quality of life with personal relationships.
Merrill Lynch. The past two years have been the most impactful in my 28 years of working, helping others truly improve results and change their businesses via coaching.
Caterpillar. The 25 years of global experiences that helped me to learn so much about business, financials, marketing, leadership, and collaboration.
Indiana University. The fours years at Bloomington allowed me to learn about physical fitness, the art of managing time due to ongoing travel, business skillset, adulthood and the wisdom gained via decision making.
Eternal Life. The promise of eternal life by giving my life to Jesus Christ.