365 Coaching Tips: 43, 44 and 45

February 12th Coaching Tip: Heads Up.

When I worked at Caterpillar for nearly 25 years, we embraced the heads up mentally. Work proactively by thinking ahead, looking out for others, letting your teammates know what’s about to happen or may happen or anything coming around the corner that you can’t quite see, i.e. we regularly called it, “giving them a heads up”. Today, during a coaching conversation with a highly talented, top female performer, she was beyond frustrated with her leader’s lack of understanding in her explosive growth and also her being down a couple teammates, due to health reasons and an upcoming retirement. She was wanting him to respect that she was giving him a heads up on her needs for talent, so that she can continue to grow, while also allowing her colleagues to tend to health needs and plan to retire.

After a lengthy coaching discussion with her, we landed on her putting together a timeline to clearly indicate what is currently happening (massive growth), about to happen (losing two teammates), what could happen (further growth without client service), recommendations on how the leader could support her (request getting the interviews for new talent get started soon), and by when (beginning of the second quarter). She is also going to include how she is ready to coach and develop others on her team and spread the workload proactively, before either of the two depart. Giving leaders a heads-up work effectively.

February 13th Coaching Tip: Don’t Fall Behind.

Got a reminder today that I needed to submit some expenses for recent business travel. Utilizing a couple 30-minute slots throughout the day, I was proactive and leveraged those two windows of time to get all the expenses and receipts organized. By the end of the workday, I submitted the three expense books. In all, it took me about 2 hours to get five different trips submitted, however, I made the decision to do it all in one day, because I had been prioritizing my coaching work over the last month. The people came first, and I didn’t want to fall behind with them. Nor did I want to fall behind with submitting my expense books; I had given myself 30 days from the start of the first trip to get them submitted, and I did just that, i.e. flew out of town on Jan 14, and submitted the expense books on Feb. 13.

Prioritize what is most important to yourself and your clients, and don’t ever fall behind on submitting expenses or invoicing your clients for work completed or following up with clients who are past due. In my coaching work, I see many who fall behind, become frozen, and unable to catch up. Don’t let the piles stack up and overwhelm you. Don’t fall behind.

February 14th Coaching Tip: Love People.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to spread the love with your sweethearts and those you love. However, today I made the decision to spread the love even further, with the men who are working on a complete remodel in one of my homes. We had three plumbers, two carpenters, an architect, and a floor specialist working effectively and efficiently. I was grateful for their expertise. Pretty sure that as I greeted them all, I probably said, “Happy Valentine’s Day” up to five times. I also brought some fresh-made donuts, reminded them to love on their loved ones, and to leave work a bit early today. Also asked each of them about themselves; I learned so much. One guy had three kids; another had been married 30 years; another was a nutrition major in college; one had two kids who both were sick right now; one was vaping and struggling with his desire to quit. When I left, one of them said, “I love being around you and your energy.” That energy is LOVE. Love People!

365 Coaching Tips: here’s 16, 17 & 18

January 16th Coaching Tip: Clear Goals. In coaching a few teams in the last couple days, it was very evident to me that the team nor its leaders had any clear goals. In asking questions like, “what are you most pleased with from your work in 2024? where are you headed in 2025? what will you continue to do from 2024 and carry into 2025? what will be different in 2025 from what was accomplished in 2024?”, it really helped the teams figure out their goals; and it also helped them reflect on what they can celebrate about their 2024 accomplishments.

During these coaching conversations, it really helped that we had plenty of time and were not rushed, so that we could really discuss and prioritize the goals. Truly asking questions, listening to their responses, giving time for all to speak, allowed for well understood goals that were much more cohesive and focused than the beginning of the coaching sessions. As we wrapped up, one of the teams landed squarely on three main goals that all started with the number eight: 80%, $800,000, and $80mil (details are not being shared here). I was so delighted that they were ready to meet continuously throughout 2025 to share their progress on their results. We went from having no goals to identifying well understood goals. I sensed a strong commitment from the entire team to achieve these goals; this made me smile. Get clarity on your goals, whether personally or professionally.

January 17th Coaching Tip: Set Expectations. Since November, I’ve been working with new contractors to help me with a significant remodel on a 1930’s farmhouse. I’m tackling this project in a new town (Bloomington, IN) where I have few construction connections. Upon a referral from a work colleague, I interviewed a general contractor who has numerous rental homes in Bloomington. The new GC and his sub-contractors, new interior designer, and a new architect are all helping me do this, as I’m in Florida full-time working. In meetings with all of them, I’m clearly letting them know my expectations of what I want and need from them, as we remodel this a nearly 100-year-old home. For example, this home is old, and I want to honor it’s 1930’s farmhouse legacy with some new, timeless touches. I also want 1930’s crooked floors and ceilings to be straight and level, for fashion, functionality and also safety. I want it to be clean, safe, and dry, and get the water draining away from the home. I want it to be thoughtful and functional, with what we defined as A- workmanship. It does not have to be perfect A+ work, but it must be better than B or B+ work. This clarity has really helped my new crew/contractors, as we all make decisions together. If others around you don’t understand what you need or are expecting, it might be wise to look in the mirror. Set expectations and reinforce them regularly. And reward and recognize them when they absolutely nail them!

January 18th Coaching Tip: Embrace Tools. Over the last couple years, many of my coaching sessions have been about capacity. For example, I very frequently hear comments like, “we are overwhelmed, we are busy, we need more people, we don’t have time, etc.” As I ask more questions about capacity, many times I have found that tools are not being utilized enough, even though some tools/IT/processes/support have already been paid for. Yes you heard me, they are not utilizing the tools that they already have access to.

I use this example regularly: “who still calls the taxicab service, reserves a car, hopes that the taxi comes on time to the proper address, assumes the driver will be pleasant, the car is clean and safe, and you arrive at your destination on time?” Few still do this, very few. Most are utilizing their cell phone to arrange a ride (with Lyft or Uber), and it can be done within seconds, with complete transparency, and the payment is automated and more secure. When I use this example, all of the sudden, the brains in the room start cranking…”what can we use to improve our capacity? what should we stop doing? what must we continue? what do we need to learn and be trained on to implement quickly?” Within 5-10 minutes, we can quickly identify a number of tools or processes that should be implemented immediately to gain capacity. That metaphor of, “I’m busy sawing, don’t have time to sharpen my saw…” is at play in numerous coaching sessions. Take some time and figure out how to embrace new tools, and utilize the ones that are and have been available.

365 Coaching Tips: Now on day 7, 8 & 9

It takes commitment and consistent execution to implement a new habit, and I’m really liking this new habit of identifying a coaching tip (or trend) daily. We have made the first hurdle of implementing a new habit, and that’s doing it intentionally for at least one week.

January 7th Coaching Tip: Be Specific. With the new year beginning and my coaching work ramping up, a number of my coaching sessions have been focused on “I want to grow my business.” I simply ask, “can you be more specific?” That’s when it can get quiet. The silence spurs more questions from me. Ultimately, these types of questions get asked: “how will you grow”, “how will you spend your time differently”, “who are you targeting”, “what should you not do this year”, “which type of clients do you want to replicate”. The more specific that you can be about what you want to accomplish, I find it’s more likely that you will be successful. And further research indicates that if you write down, share them with key people, and then make them visible, you are much more likely to succeed. For example, I have post-it notes on my mirrors and desks that remind me of my quarterly goals. Everyday, I am looking at those specific goals.

January 8th Coaching Tip: Backup Plans. We don’t want to think about backup plans, but when we have them, we sure are happy when we can quickly and somewhat effortlessly put them in motion. Today, on two different occasions, I was working with coaching situations where there was no backup planning by the coachee; they had one plan and just assumed it would go as planned. As I asked a few questions, I could quickly tell that they needed to think more broadly and thoughtfully, regarding a backup/2nd or even a 3rd scenario. One situation was already in turmoil and they were in triage mode, losing sleep, begging for assistance, etc. We quickly put together a plan for a 2nd and 3rd option in both cases. Backup plans are necessary for many stages in our life journey; don’t be surprised when things re-route you. Have a plan and be ready to pivot, or at least somewhat ready.

January 9th Coaching Tip: Measure Frequently. If any of my coachees want to execute on a new goal, I ask them, “what are you measuring, and how frequently are you measuring it?” For example, one of my coachees wants to grow their business by 15% in 2025. We talked about reviewing the results monthly, measuring progress weekly, and assessing and tracking daily activity that contributes to growth. For me, I have some goals this summer to be able to run faster. Therefore, I’m tracking three things daily: my VO2MAX level on my Apple watch, my weight every morning, and my times when I run sprints weekly. If my VO2MAX increases, and I weigh a bit less all while continuing to run my sprints a bit faster weekly, I should run faster this summer that I ran in June 2024. Guess what? Nine days into the new year, my VO2MAX has increased and I’ve dropped a pound or two. Progress, bit by bit.

365 Coaching Tips: For Days 4, 5 & 6

We’re on a roll here, and the coaching tips are evident in these three coaching tips.

January 4 Coaching Tip: Stay connected. Friends and family really matter to your overall wellness. The Blue Zones research by Dan Buettner indicates that having a purpose and regular social connections are two of the most important keys to longevity that Buettner revealed in his research. I also find this to be true; I thrive on getting my crew together. Today, I had the opportunity to attend a ball game with two of my Indiana University teammates. Since I had a couple extra tickets to that game, I gave them to my high school basketball coach. As if that wasn’t enough, I looked up in to the audience and there was one of my high school teammates and a gal that I used to ride the school bus with. We all connected, smiled, and are intentionally staying in touch via getting out of the house, going to support college women play basketball…something that we all did years ago.

January 5 Coaching Tip: Make Plans. My vacation days are already booked on my personal and work calendar; also shared them with my partner. Why? Because vacations and making those memories are a huge contributor to my overall wellness. Another tip that I have implemented for years is to take four days of vacation but get 9-10 days off. How? Utilize the 3-day weekends with holidays to maximize your vacation, i.e. Memorial Day is always the last Monday in May, so take the Tuesday thru Friday off in late May. You will have a great start to your summer and only utilized four vacation days. Same for Labor Day, in early September; take those four days off after Labor Day, it makes for a nice wrap of your summer.

January 6 Coaching Tip: Get Organized. Most people establish “New Year’s Resolutions” at the beginning of the year, and then most resolutions dissipate by the end of January. My recommendation is to get organized. What does that look like for me? Yesterday, I spent the bulk of the workday creating high priority Outlook email folders and deleting years of irrelevant or outdated folders. The clutter went away quickly, and it did not take that long. Also did that same organization with my own personal Gmail account. This gave me the feeling of less clutter, more organized, and now allows for more focus on my priorities, which are easily reinforced now with this act of getting organized with my email.

365 Coaching Tips: Let’s Get Started with The First Three

In mid-November 2024, I decided to set my goals for 2025. One of the 10 most important goals was to “blog regularly (daily and weekly) about relevant topics in my coaching work.” Setting the goals and putting them in motion before the end of 2024 allowed me to get rolling along. Must admit, I’m proud of my progress as we all launch into 2025.

So, let’s get started with my first three coaching tips.

January 1st Coaching Tip: Pick one word. One word that YOU can leverage throughout the year, that will empower you, motivate you, slow you down, or speed you up, or help you make decisions. As shared in my January 1, 2025 post, my one word for 2025 is REDUCE. (see it for more on why I chose the word “REDUCE”.)

January 2nd Coaching Tip: Explain why. If you want something done or have a need to delegate to someone else or have to reschedule an appointment, quickly explain why and/or what’s going on. Most humans with a heart (and a brain, with some type of empathy) will understand and be flexible. Just two days into the new year, I found myself having to change a few appointments; for example, when I quickly shared that my 84-year-old mother wanted to have lunch with her three adult kids, everyone I spoke to quickly realized, “moms win!”

January 3rd Coaching Tip: Find your best times. Find your best times to work, when you’re really uninterrupted and in flow; also find the times when your body thrives on exercise. And of course, find the times and take them when you need some downtime. In wearing my Oura ring now for nearly 5 years, my most active time each day is around 9:00am E. My best work is done in the morning, immediately after my important quiet-time reading my devotionals while enjoying my cold brew(s).

One of my priorities in 2025 is to share what I learn in my coaching. My hope is that it will help you in your leadership, life, parenting, family, wellness, relationship, etc. journeys. Let’s keep these coaching tips rolling all year long. Hold me accountable.

My One Word for 2025: Reduce

Yes, REDUCE.

Yes, I also use the phrase, “Just Go!” quite often. So why am I making the choice to select REDUCE as my word for 2025? Let me tell you all the reasons.

  1. Reduce plastic usage. Simply, plastic is not healthy, as more and more research is revealing how microplastics are in nearly every new baby born in the USA. What are a few new habits that I have already instituted in my daily routines: a) drinking my cold brew every morning now in a glass, not a plastic glass. b) utilizing a metal tea strainer instead of tea in a plastic tea bag. c) warming up food in the microwave on cookware, and not in plastic re-usable containers. d) carrying water in two metal containers throughout the day and refilling them, instead of having the urge to buy bottled water. e) all vehicles now have re-usable bags to carry groceries, to help reduce the plastic bag excess that is everywhere.
  2. Reduce my weight. In late July and early August, I intend to be running sprints and shooting baskets at the 2025 National Senior Games in Des Moines, Iowa. My goal is to drop down to 148 pounds, so that I can run just a bit quicker against these fast senior women from across the USA. As for habits, a) I must continue my 2024 habit more consistently of writing down daily my food intake as well as my exercise and weighing myself daily. When I do these three things daily, I lose weight. b) I must buy clean eating groceries, i.e. greens, sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, much less chocolate, etc. c) I must reduce having the urge every single day to have some chocolate. Instead, have a piece of fruit or a strawberry or a piece of gum, make a cup of tea, or have a diet ginger ale.
  3. Reduce my food intake, especially reducing sugar. See #2. The sugar addiction that I have, along with many others, can be reduced when I set my mind to do it. New habits: a) Just say NO to chocolate and say YES to naturally sweet items like fruit. b) We love chocolate covered strawberries, so that may be the new “treat” while we reduce chocolate and sugar. c) eat less, as it is much better for my colon-less system. I feel better when I eat less.
  4. Reduce work drama. Not sure if I will work til 75 years old, 70, 65, or 61, but there’s zero need to get caught up in work drama. Just do my work and be grateful for the impacts that I make with my coaching work. New habit in 2025: just don’t engage and smile/nod, press forward.
  5. Reduce my jogging pace/mile and sprinting times. See #2. My goal is to be a role model for others, as a senior athlete. That means I need to be a bit quicker and also remain safe, i.e. no injuries and be healthy. I must continue my 2024 habits of regularly doing sprints and high intensity interval training a couple times per week, and my lifting and strength training also a couple times weekly. Also want to gather some advice from some other sprinters and runners on how to run quicker.
  6. Reduce screen time. The amount of time that we all are spending on screen time/scrolling is ridiculous. Of course it’s helpful when I’m intentionally staying in touch with family and friends, and keeping up with my work and real estate inquiries and projects. However, reading before I go to bed is going to be a new 2025 habit. Read a devotional or 10-20 pages of a book. I really like history, geography, and travel books, so it’s time to consume them.

Reduce. I like the sound of it. What’s YOUR word for 2025? What are your new habits to help make it a reality?

Happy New Year and here’s hoping that you have a great year with special times and superb health. Coach Jen

Treat Yo’ self

This week prior to Thanksgiving tends to be a light work week; many are vacationing or taking half days off to travel, complete the meal prep, or simply relax before the friends and family arrive.

So, what is a recommendation for YOU? Go treat yo’self. This week, I’ve scheduled a few 1/2 days off, a pedicure, a massage, enjoying time by the pool, walking, relaxing, reading, journaling. All of this is “me stuff”. And it’s ok, because come the holiday, it’s all about helping my mom and family have a wonderful time together for Thanksgiving.

Recommendation:

If you are scheduled up to the very last minute, ask yourself why? Why is it that you’re so busy, that you don’t have time to focus on you? Start identifying what must continue, what can be delayed or stopped, and what can actually be done by others. In our coaching lingo, we call this this “Start, Stop, Continue” exercise.

Start with you.

Stop doing everything, and delegate.

Continue what you can do.

By implementing the Start, Stop, Continue, you’ll be amazed that even 15 or 30 or 45 minutes a day, during busy weeks that come with the holidays, can give you time to Treat Yo’ self. And, teach others how to own things that you normally do.

In The Next 100 Days, I Will…

This is the week in January when New Year’s Resolutions stop, stall, or become unrealistic for most people. Back on January 1, just 21 days ago, these were invigorating ideas to attack with energy in 2019. Things have changed. So what is getting in the way of these resolutions? Why are they losing steam? Now what do you need to do?

In our coaching work, we find that New Year’s Resolutions lose steam due to a variety of reasons. We also find that the art of delegation and accountability is tied to how you ask questions and give clarity around when, who, what, and why.

WHEN. When do you want to accomplish your goal? It’s a simple question, but the most critical one that is typically not understood. Many goals are set, and are missing a date. Thus, the goal keeps getting pushed out or not achieved, because a date was never set. That’s why it’s a great tactic to state, “In the Next 100 Days, I will...” When we force ourselves to identify what WE will do in a more defined time period, we tend to be more successful. Just try it and simply ask, “When does this need to be done?”

WHO. Who can help hold you accountable? Having a partner, teammate or coach will help you push through barriers, and sometimes even help you get there more quickly and smoothly. Who can help you with their expertise, and are you asking for it?

WHAT. Goals that are specific and truly have some ummph behind them tend to be achieved than ambiguous or unrealistic goals. For example, if I want to weigh in the 150s this year. I want to get there, and before the end of April. Why? Because I want to feel and look better, while at the lake in the late spring and all summer. Before that though, we head to the Florida beaches right after Easter. So it’s time to get serious and be wise on portions: reduce one meal every day to simply fruit and a small handful of nuts, and also increase my exercise to at least 10,000 steps every single day.

WHY. Plenty of goals are loosely defined, i.e. “lose 10 pounds.” However, when we add some why and purpose behind it, these goals tend to be MUCH more achievable. Let’s take my simple, “weigh in the 150s this year.” WHY is that so important? Because in the summer of 2018, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at just 53 years old. My doctors gave me a list of things to ensure that I do for the next few decades of my life, and one of the specifics was “weigh in the 150s, carry less weight on your briddle bones, and strength train so that your muscles are strong to carry your body/weight.” DONE. That’s all I needed to hear.

What’s YOUR WHY? Name it. And then state, “In the next 100 days, I will...”

p.s. Many thanks to Dr. Kevin Elko’s message here in Indianapolis last week. He inspired me to write this blog. He asked the crowd to say out loud, “In the next 90 days, I will…” MANY thanks to Dr. Elko for his reminders on what we CAN do. Follow him on twitter @DrKevinElko

It’s Time For Fun, Isn’t It?

On a cool, rainy evening in October 2018, Hoosier Park was hosting the “Super Night” of Indiana’s best in harness racing.  And a long-shot named “It’s Time for Fun” was in 6th place as the horses came down the stretch. But then “Fun” hit a faster gear and sprinted past them all and won easily.  Friends and four generations of the breeder and owner got to the winner’s circle just in time for the celebration and fun. And that owner shined a grin and said, “It takes a team!”

Who is the owner and breeder of “It’s Time for Fun”? My dad, Lynn Wilfong, 79 years young. I intentionally used the word “young”, as he sure loves his phrase that he shares regularly: “Have someone to love.  Love what you do. Have something to look forward to.” And he has also been heard to say, “I will die with my boots on.”

Love. Four generations showed up to see “It’s Time For Fun” win the 3 Year Old Filly Indiana Sires Stakes: his wife, Barbara, of 58 years; his three adult children & their spouses; and some of the grand children and a great grandchild.

Work. Lynn has been working with harness horses since he was a young boy.  And he continues to be patient with them, even after 6-7 decades of being around these large and loving creatures.

Look Forward. Although my dad has suffered some losses and also some health challenges in the last couple decades, he sure studies his own health and how to improve it just like he studies harness horse breeding and racing. He is looking at ways to find the right mixture of breeding to win at the value that he is willing to pay, and still bring a return to his harness racing business.

How does he do this and also leverage his team? He has a vision, and that is to keep winning, especially in Indiana and Illinois. He and mom, along with my brother and his wife (Brett and Candy), truly have defined roles.  Dad studies and recommends breeding, and helps ensure the mares have healthy foals.  He and Brett raise and haul them, and Brett trains them.  My nephew, Kyle (Brett’s son, who is 4th generation in the harness racing business now) is the driver.  Kyle’s girlfriend, Nicole, is the caretaker (groom) of the horses that are being raced and trained, and she is growing and now a trainer.  And the revenue and expenses are tracked by Barbara and Candy.  For decades, Barbara leads the effort to ensure all of the horses are named and registered.  Very clear roles, with a goal of winning in Indiana and Illinois with well cared for horses.  They also leverage vets, blacksmiths, and feed companies. All of these roles are very specific, and they rarely duplicate work.  The goal for everyone is to be accountable to helping the horse(s) be as healthy as possible so that it can professionally perform in nearly any condition (rain, heat, sleet, wind and cold weather).

With a clear Vision, clear Roles, and clear Goals for each person on your team, you will most likely continue to succeed even as you approach your 8th decade.  In my coaching work, I can sense dysfunction or lack of accountability quickly.  It typically is because something is NOT clear with the Vision, or the Roles, or the Goals.  If all three are clear, you can most likely expect good results.  And good results just might lead to “It’s Time for Fun”.

 

 

90 Day Priorities

You have some goals and priorities at the “new year”? Do you keep those goals progressing every 90 days?
Here’s a hint to help you execute on those goals:
Write them down. 
Review them and discuss them with someone you deeply trust throughout January.  Weekly. Then do that same process again in February. Weekly.  And again in March.  Weekly.
Wisely attack a few of your goals. All of your annual goals do NOT have to be started in January.
For example, I have always wanted to read more. Every single year. But in 2018, I was more specific with my “read more” goal. I wanted to read books that would help me improve my leadership training and business ownership skills, and to help me coach others on sales growth. After discussing this with a ferocious reader, he recommended that I utilize an app and listen to books as I drive. So I downloaded the mobile app Audible, and got my first book free. I have already finished it, downloaded another book and finished it, too. And have read five hardback books that were within reach in my office. Yes, three books read by Feb 4. And now 7 books read by March 17, 2018. A new record for me, all because I changed a few critical behaviors: downloaded an app, listened/listening to books on Audible, and taking more time to read the good books that I already own.
The annual “eat more healthy goal” was also written down. However, this year I am taking trips to the grocery store and buying different type of foods. Olives. Oranges. Sugar-free dark chocolate. And I listened to a podcast on mindful eating; now I am much more aware of WHAT I am eating and the size of portion, as I now compare those portions to my palm and hand.
Lesson learned for me is simply this: take VERY specific actions to change behavior quickly, after you write down and share your goals. Review your progress weekly, and then re-evaluate every 90 days.  Simply ask yourself, how did you do? If you progress and achieve at 75-80% success rate, pat yourself on the back, and continue your progress.  Kudos to YOU!