Tag: Change

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365 Coaching Tips: 256th, 257th & 258th

September 13th Coaching Tip: No Response, Best Response.

Ben Franklin was a master at so many things, including communication. He reflected in his writings and attributed sayings, by suggesting that “…it may be better to avoid pointless arguments and prioritizing goodwill over winning” as a wiser approach. Pointless conflicts and arguments often bring no true winner and can isolate or alienate friends and family from each other. Listening with no response is many times a way to learn and be more aware of a situation, without causing further stress or conflict.

In my coaching work, I’ve many times reminded myself and those that I coach that we have one mouth and two ears and two eyes. That’s a ratio to keep in mind: four to help you watch and listen, only one to voice your opinion. I embraced that all week, as I was around a couple people who were loud and boasting opinions that I didn’t agree with. I had no response, and it was the best response. For my overall wellness, it’s a healthier choice for me, too.

September 14th Coaching Tip: Early To Rise.

Our weekend was a blast in SW Michigan with my 1983 IU teammates. With us all departing on a Sunday morning and our checkout to be completed by 10am, a couple of us decided to get up early (6:00am) and we set up a yogurt bar with fresh fruit, Michigan raw honey, cinnamon and granola. We also had the coffee brewing and some Swedish muffins and pastries (from our shopping yesterday), as everyone would be moving quickly, packing their cars, and heading out. It all was easy to eat or to make it quickly so that they could take it with them. We wanted them to have ease…this early on a Sunday morning.

When thinking of others, be aware of the entire situation. Everyone had a blast all weekend. However, everyone was ready to get on the road to head home. Early to rise was the right thing to do. We returned back home by 12pm, because everything was ready for checkout at 830am, instead of 10am.

September 15th Coaching Tip: Work Those Relationships.

It’s my goal to know and appreciate my new neighbor at the house we are remodeling. Today, my neighbor was out mowing so I walked up the hill to greet him. After complimenting his yard and mentioning that I need to care for my yard a bit better, I simply thanked him for mowing and making it all look nice.

Then, I shared a common story; then he mentioned that he just got a heart stent. So then I shared that my mother got six stents more than seven years ago and she’s doing pretty good. As I walked away, I turned around and asked him what his favorite candy is for Halloween. He said he liked it all; I asked him to narrow that down, and he said anything except those Easter peeps marshmallow things. Then he said, “Reese miniature cups, Snickers, 3 Musketeers.” You know that I’m going to be handing him some of these the next time I see him; my goal is to keep working the relationship. It will benefit us both.

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365 Coaching Tips: 253rd, 254th & 255th

September 10th Coaching Tip: Slow to Anger.

Children in America are threatened weekly with some type of gun violence at school. Today, as I was walking into the break room at work, I noticed that the news was on the TV; the breaking headline was that a prominent and young public figure with millions of followers had been assassinated with a single gunshot. It stopped me in my tracks; I was thinking, “not again…more gun violence during the daytime”. By the time I got home after work and then relaxed in the evening, I was noticing the amount of anger due to this specific assassination was at a very high and intense rate on social media and TV media. The anger was like an inferno. As I laid it down that evening, I prayed for peace, kindness, and understanding. I prayed for our nation to heal and see just how costly gun violence is in our communities and to our overall well-being. I then prayed for wisdom, asking for help to be slow to anger.

September 11th Coaching Tip: Never Forget. Never.

Yesterday, I was stopped in my tracks as I went to the break room with the horrific news of an assassination of a young leader. And 24 years ago, on 9/11/2001, I was on a short walk from one conference room to the next at a facility in Mossville, IL (That was during my Caterpillar Inc. career). I turned my head to see what the breaking news was on the TV’s in our cafeteria; then I noticed that a small group was gathered around the TV’s and someone mentioned that a plane flew into the World Trace Center Towers in NYC. It didn’t feel right at all; nothing about it felt right. Learning just a bit more from the news, I then pivoted out of the cafeteria and headed back to my office. What would I do in a tense moment like this, as a new and young leader, leading a huge $20mil project with about 100 teammates. Timeliness, communication and understanding were going to be critical. A couple of us jumped up on a table in the middle of our large group, gave everyone a quick update on what was happening in NYC, and then we offered the rest of the day off to everyone on our team. (We already knew that this airplane going into the Towers in NYC was terrorism; it was NOT a mistake.)

As I drove home, I stopped at the grocery store quickly and bought two things: peanut butter and water. I knew that IF we all had to buckle down and stay home for a while, I could live on water and PB. I will never ever forget where I was and how I felt that day on 9/11/2001. Fast forward 24 years later, now I work for Merrill Lynch and ML lost employees that horrible day in NYC. Never Forget. Never.

September 12th Coaching Tip: Travel With Your Friends.

My bestie (Kim) and I jumped in the car together and headed north to be with our Indiana University women’s basketball teammates from our Big Ten Championship season in 1983. Some of our teammates got together in early April in Tampa for the women’s Final Four; now this weekend is in southwest Michigan, steps away from Lake Michigan. Kim and I were in the car together for nearly three hours of drive time. Then we all had lunch and walked to grab some ice cream. With our tummies full and then on a complete ice cream/sugar high, I went for a walk to see the neighborhood and check out the access to the Lake Michigan beaches that were nearby. The next day had us getting up slowly, with a light rain, to enjoy a full breakfast together at the large dining room table. Once the rain cleared, six of us piled into one vehicle and we shopped at two farm stands and one Swedish bakery. My goodness did we ever have a blast buying fresh and incredible food. And on and on the fun times continued. Came back to chili being made and served with a “chili toppings bar”. College football games were on, and then it was another sit-down dinner made by my bestie; she roasted over 10 veggies, of all colors. It was a beautiful display of food and friendship at that dinner table that evening. Travel with your friends! Make those memories. Even cooking and eating together are times well spent.

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365 Coaching Tips: 247th, 248th & 249th

September 4th Coaching Tip: Embrace To Expand.

One of my coaching calls today was with four ambitious leaders, who are building something special for their business. They are already growing quickly and now they are embracing a key piece of the company’s strategy to help recruit talent to their team and the company. They are truly embracing to expand their business as well as the company’s overall business. They are unique; instead of resisting or fighting the company strategy, they are aligning and embracing what the company wants to get done. Now these four are viewed even more positively by senior leaders, since they are trying to help ALL grow.

As a coach, I often find many of my clients who are resisting something; resisting feedback, not holding their team accountable, or they lack desire to partner up to grow. Whatever it is, they are resisting it. I had a blast coaching these four leaders who are embracing (not resisting) growth. Sky’s the limit for them! Embrace to expand.

September 5th Coaching Tip: Simplify Selections.

Many of the grocery and retail stores have so many selections that it’s a bit overwhelming. Today, I went to Aldi’s after work for some key groceries and staples for the kitchen cabinets. I had my list and walked in with one bag; this simplified my process of shopping and I was in and out of Aldi’s in less than 15 minutes.

Next door was the Best Buy store. They have so many TV’s on the walls there, and I knew exactly what I wanted: a 65″ and a 43″. I had measured the walls that they were going to be hung on BEFORE I went to Best Buy. When I walked in, I indicated to the salesman what I wanted. He ordered them, brought them out to my car with another salesman, and I was on my way. By knowing what I wanted, and doing some prep before I left home, it made my shopping much more simplified and efficient.

September 6th Coaching Tip: Little By Little.

As we remodel this 95-year-old home, we continue to make progress bit by bit. Today was all about adding essentials, like lamps and small side tables. Those are essentials, as we have our phones, drinks, TV remotes, etc. that need to be easily accessible, reachable and laying in plain sight. Litle by little, we are progressing; I have no intention of buying 5-10 lamps or side tables at a time. We will add more tomorrow. For example, the kitchen needs key spices like cinnamon and garlic. The upstairs bathrooms need items like deodorant, lotion, etc. We will get there, bit by bit, little by little. There’s no need to rush, but instead, do it methodically.

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365 Coaching Tip: 244th, 245th & 246th

September 1st Coaching Tip: Get some Vitamin D

Everyone that I’m around these last few days is loving the weather. 50’s over night, 70’s during the day. Open the windows in the evening and sleep well. Sit outside, get some Vitamin D naturally, and enjoy the sunshine without breaking a sweat. This is the perfect weather to get some Vit D. Get outside and walk, get outside and play a little. It’s the best prescription that money can buy: it’s FREE.

September 2nd Coaching Tip: Use Your iPhone Calendar.

We all have alot going on, alot. I leverage my iPhone calendar to help me plan for events that I don’t want to miss. For example, my iPhone calendar reminded me today that estimated taxes are due soon (actual due date is September 15). The payment was processed today and will be sent to the IRS on the 13th. On Sept. 9th, I have three special people with birthdays, and it’s also my dad’s date of death. I put those four items in my iPhone calendar as annually repeating, so that I never forget. Real estate taxes are due on different dates in Florida (November 30), Illinois (June and September), and Indiana (May and November). Again, I put annual reminders for the beginning of each of these months on my iPhone calendar, so that I don’t forget. Use your tools to help drive efficiency in your life, reduce stress, and never/rarely miss important items.

September 3rd Coaching Tip: Go To Funerals.

After work today, I took a minute to eat, breathe, take a short walk, and then headed north for more than an hour to go to a small town for a funeral. My dad’s cousin, Judy, passed away. She and her husband lived on a farm, and Judy was a teacher. They had harness racing horses, and that provided a common bond between these cousins. My dad would have been there, if he were still alive (he passed 9/9/2023). Just felt that I needed to represent our family and show up like my dad would have done. My mom was pleased that I went, and my brother Brett and his wife Candy also made the trip. Judy’s boys were pleasant and thankful that we made the effort to be there. Some 50 years ago, we all played together in the yard at my great grandmother’s home and at family reunions. Go to funerals to honor others…and be reminded of younger times, too.

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365 Coaching Tips: 238th, 239th & 240th

August 26th Coaching Tip: Be First to Meet Your Neighbors.

We’ve got a place that we’re remodeling and been working on since Thanksgiving 2024. None of the neighbors have come over and introduced themselves; however, to be fair, it’s mostly contractors that are there, and we have only been there quickly and sparingly over the last 10 months. However, here in August, we are spending time there working on the getting the home all set up on the weekends. I’ve noticed that the neighbor across the street has children that go to school, as I’ve seen the school bus multiple times. And, they have off fireworks every Friday night thus far. Who knew, right? The neighbor to north sits on his front step and quietly watches us work as he smokes his cigarette.

Today, he was out mowing, and as I was driving away, I waved to him. He drove the mower toward me; I got out of the car and walked towards him with my hand to shake his and introduce myself to him. After an hour of listening to him share history about our connecting properties, we walked the property lines and he then shared more about the previous owner and what had happened on the property. Then, he started telling me about his recent retirement and his health challenges (pneumonia, heart stents, aneurysm, etc.). He really opened up…and never asked one question about me. He simply opened up.

I was SO glad that we spent that hour together; he now has my name and my cell number, and he will call me if he sees anything out of the ordinary. He likes what we are doing to improve the property (it’s a farmhouse on 10 acres with an old chicken coup, she-shed, and two barns). He is going to mow even closer now to my property line, after he cleans up the fence line. Be first and intentional to meet your neighbors. Fences make good neighbors and so do thoughtful, purposeful and pleasant neighbors.

August 27th Coaching Tip: Trust, but Double Check.

As we remodel this home, I had ordered the carpet months ago, when the guys installed the hardwood flooring. I decided to swing by the carpet business after work, and re-check my order on the “status” of it and the pricing. I found that the order had NOT been placed for the carpet; it was actually a godsend. We reviewed the selections, and the sales lady and I realized that I could save thousands of dollars and make a decision that I was actually happier with. I trusted the process and the sales woman, however, so glad that I double checked because it all ultimately worked out.

August 28th Coaching Tip: A Year After my 60th Birthday!

It’s been just a bit more than a year since my 60th birthday disco party. I’ve rewatched many of the videos from that fun, meaningful and energetic evening. And today, I jumped on the scale and weighed a couple pounds LESS than I did last year (that was my goal). I also had a surprise visit from two friends that I met while flying back from the Taylor Swift concert and my quick early birthday visit to London last August. It was good to see them; they were enjoying a trip with some of their dear friends to some local wineries and figured out a way to squeak in a visit to say hello. Reminisce and soak up those memories; it’s only been a year after that fun and frolicking 60th birthday party.

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365 Coaching Tips: 235th, 236th & 237th

August 23rd Coaching Tip: Grandma Valeeta.

Grandma Valeeta was my grandfather’s (George) second wife. She was a sweetie, always welcoming everyone with a smile on her face and an infectious laugh. She was also a great cook. During my college years at Spring Break time, I would go to Florida for spring break. I would go see them at their home in Ocala, FL, eat some scrumptious food, go to grandpa’s 17-acre mini-farm to watch him train a few horses. “Pap” would always remind me that I could stay with him during spring break. So glad that I did, because as I age, those were some very sweet memories. I learned a lot about him, his calm style, his purpose with caring for animals in the morning and getting some natural movement in while socializing with the farm neighbors.

Today would have been Valeeta’s birthday. She is now buried next to my grandpa. And at my passing, I will be buried by them as well. Back home at Glen Cove Cemetery in Knightstown, IN.

August 24th Coaching Tip: Write Thank You Notes.

After my brother and wife hosted a wonderful weekend (for my birthday, a family gathering with my uncle and cousin, and celebrating Mom Barb’s anniversary date w/ Dad), I decided to write a number of thank you notes to everyone who really made the weekend special. Don’t ever underestimate the value of a handwritten note; two of the people who received them (my 84-year-old mom and my 80-year-old uncle) called to thank me for writing and mailing them a thank you note. Be intentional when you are grateful. Your kindness and purposeful actions are so appreciated. Write thank you notes; they’re priceless!

August 25th Coaching Tip: Long Weekends Revive.

With me taking off Friday, Aug. 22 and Friday, Aug. 29, I’m truly welcoming in these four-day work weeks. It’s actually going to be three of them. Three? Yes, because then the next week is Labor Day (Monday off). Although work is intense and we’ve had two colleagues retire in the last couple weeks, I’m intentionally managing MY schedule to help ensure that I’m in the best wellness that I can possibly be in. If we loosely plan our time off, work can sometimes consume us. My partner and I are regularly going thru our calendars to optimize time together, ensure that we decide on priorities and commitments with our family and friends, and yes, there’s always the work schedule. I’m finding that long weekends can really revive me; that extra day is so healing and relaxing, and then the four-day work week is a bit easier to embrace and complete with high performance.

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365 Coaching Tips: 232nd, 233rd & 234th

August 20th Coaching Tip: Reach Out On Birthdays.

Today is one of my favorite advisor’s birthdays. I wanted him to know that I deeply care about him, so yes, I was that person who wished him a happy birthday at 8am sharp. And he laughed, and came back quickly and stated, “you were the second person to wish me HBD.” I’ll take it, he and I both know that he’s important to me, and I’m equally important to him.

And then, for some reason, I reached out to one of my coaching colleagues to wish her a happy August birthday. Although her birthday isn’t until Aug. 30, she’s my work-sister with an August birthday. Welp, wouldn’t you know, my gut was right. She responded by saying, “thanks for the HBD wishes. Your intuition is amazing. My father passed last night, and so now I’m dealing with that. I know you lost your father a couple years ago.” Oh my, I wasn’t expecting that message back from her, although she had mentioned that her father had been declining quickly the last couple years. I’m just so grateful that the good Lord had me reach out. Just hope that I can be there for her as she grieves the loss of her dad; my dad died in Sept. 2023 unexpectedly. Keep reaching out.

August 21st Coaching Tip: Understand Your Impact On Others.

Today in one of my coaching sessions, the leader was mentioning how excited he was about a new bi-lingual woman that he’s mentoring and aligning to his team. He had some questions about how to align her to his team and I had some questions, too. For example, he has two other young people on his team that he’s also developing. My questions revolved around the “how”: How will you mentor and develop all three of them? How will you communicate how they will be held accountable and compensated? How will you be viewed as fair, maybe not equal, but definitely fair? How will you document what you’re doing with each of them, so that if you have others who want to join your team, you can quickly share with them how you mentor and develop talent?

Don’t underestimate how important it is to communicate the impact on the person you’re developing, as well as to the others. People are naturally impacted by the amount of time you spend with them. Leadership is hard and it’s your responsibility as a leader to be aware of your impact on others.

August 22nd Coaching Tip: Lakeside Birthday Tradition.

Took the day off, again. It’s a priority for me to take off my birthday, and it’s a ritual that I’ve been doing since I started working at Caterpillar in 1986. At my 40th birthday, our family all gathered at a small hotel that was lakeside in Monticello, Indiana. We brought four jet skis, food, and had a blast. At my 50th birthday party, I rented a lovely, large home on Lake Wawasee, Indiana, for a group of friends to come and stay, and then my family also came a few days later. From there, we started a lakeside tradition, and now we celebrate my birthday and a number of other important dates annually.

This year was no different; we had 19 show up for my birthday party at my brother’s lakeside home in Cicero, IN. We sang karaoke for four hours, ate like kings and queens, and had a yummy, Costco (Italian chocolate six layer) cake with optional scoops of gelato. So, peace out and enjoy your birthday. We sure had a blast all weekend!

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365 Coaching Tips: 229th, 230th and 231st

August 17th: Those Extra Efforts.

It was a sunny day by the lake, and I could have easily just stayed there all-day relaxing. However, my 80-year-old uncle was nearby attending his high school reunion, and then he was heading to the airport today. I jumped in the car and met him for a quick lunch at the airport; we split a sandwich, he shared the fun times from his weekend, and he was also thrilled that I made the extra effort to see him. Make the extra effort; you never know WHEN you may or may not see someone again.

August 18th: Cancer Stinks.

Today, my mother and I had to reach out to the land tenant that is leasing 17 acres from mom for ag purposes. Per the lease, the tenant was to keep the property mowed, maintained, and utilized for ag-only purposes (i.e. no housing, only crops or animals). We were noticing that he stopped communicating and the nearby neighbors were sending me photos of an overgrown pasture. Mom and I knew something was up. Indeed something was up: our tenant revealed that he has progressive pancreatic cancer. His wife also indicated that he’s in the hospital. The man/husband/father/tenant is facing the fight of his life; all he wanted to do was raise a family, teach them how to farm, raise crops and animals. That is all stopping now for him. Mom and I will find another tenant. Cancer stinks.

August 19th: Talk It Over.

One of my coaching clients reached out to me and mentioned that she was thinking of moving forward with a business divorce with her longtime business partner. We prioritized getting some time together; I started asking questions of what’s going on, what’s NOT happening, when was the last time that they talked, who is responsible for what, etc. After about 45 minutes, she realized that she hadn’t even talked to her business partner recently about what was upsetting her. She even admitted that he may not even know that she is thinking about a business divorce. Once she admitted those things, she agreed that she needed to get his attention, sit down and talk it over. We practiced how she might go about doing that. In my coaching work, I regularly notice that many crucial conversations don’t go as planned, because many times the lack of practice is evident, and then the conversation turns sour, emotional, disrespectful and hurtful. Talk it over with a colleague or coach, before you have a crucial talk.

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365 Coaching Tips: 226th, 227th and 228th

August 14th Coaching Tip: Respond To Your Clients.

When clients call you, respond. It’s top of mind for them and they have the mental space to be thinking about “it”, whatever it is. For example, today my partner had a client reach out on a very important potential sale. Although she was in the midst of shopping at Target, she stepped aside and responded with, “I’m at Target grabbing a few things. Give me 5-10 minutes.” The client came back quickly, “That’ll work just fine, take your time.” Within 15 minutes, they both put together a plan to meet later today and it will result in a sale. My partner is a communications professional and professor; “how” you communicate is just as important as “what” you communicate. Don’t overcomplicate things: respond to clients, as they would want to be treated…and as you would want to be treated.

August 15th Coaching Tip: Leverage Your Network.

Thank goodness I have two solid and reputable general contractors that I’ve been working with in central and southern Indiana for more than a decade. If I need a job done or another type of contractor or a specialized expertise that is required, I always reach out to these two GC’s. They give me good recommendations and really care about helping me get my jobs done. They follow up, to make sure that if I selected someone they referred, that the contractor was respectful and completed the job well. Leverage your network to get stuff done.

August 16th Coaching Tip: Get Multiple Quotes.

Today, I’m getting my third quote on some work for a large landscape project. We have a property with a home and two barns, and there is an 800′ incline on the property that has rainwater that can flow directly into the barns and the house area. It will take a lot of drainage tile, grading, stone, and good dozer hand/eye/lazer work to get the water to flow correctly and away from the barns and house. In meeting with three different companies to obtain job estimates, I’ve learned quite a bit from all three of them, and it’s helping me figure out what I want to do on this site. My first priority now is to get the water away from the home, since we are now done with the remodel and painting the exterior. Then, we will work on the barn area. Getting multiple quotes is also slowing me down, helping me to gain clarity on my needs, and also helping me understand my budget a bit better, too.

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365 Coaching Tips: 223rd, 224th & 225th

August 11th Coaching Tip: Retirements Are Huge Decisions.

It cracks me up when I hear younger people say, “I know what you mean…” when someone is trying to make up their mind about retiring. Actually, I think to myself, “no, you have no clue; zero clue. You’ve never retired. Maybe your parents or grandparents or an older friend has retired, but you haven’t retired.”

When someone is discussing retiring, listen to them and ask questions. Listen to their story of all the ways in which they made their career journey, or help manage a business, or lead their family. Ask questions about what they loved the most, and what were their regrets that others could learn from. In my coaching work, many discussions are about “when will I retire” and “what will I do with my time after I retire”. We openly discuss what are their plans, what are they going toward, and how will they deal with a potential change in their own feeling about their identity. Some are considering working part-time to stay socially engaged as well as leveraging their decades of experience to continue to help and be valuable to others. Retiring is a huge decision.

August 12th Coaching Tip: Ongoing Commitment.

Yes, I completed the National Senior Games on Aug. 2, 2025. However, I now have a renewed and ongoing commitment to my overall wellness, fitness and strength levels. Of course, I took a few days off and on throughout August, but as the Fall and beautiful weather of September and October creep up, it will be time to renew my ongoing commitment to keep my V02max above 36 by doing regular high intensity interval training as well as improving my basketball shooting accuracy. I’ve been inspired by an 80+ year old gymnast; audiences are amazed at how she still does balance beam routines. She said it is simple: she never stopped doing them. She maintained her ongoing commitment for decades.

August 13th Coaching Tip: Be Honest.

Trying to buy a few things on Facebook Marketplace for the remodeled home that we are working on for a final “move in” date of Aug. 29, 2025. One seller on Marketplace was pleasant and professional, and we treated each other with timeliness and respect. I went to see the furniture that she had listed, and it was as she claimed it was: great shape, rarely used. However, another seller was less than honest. She wanted $200 from me to hold the item until I arrived. Hesitantly, I went ahead and zelle’d her “son” the $200. Then she let me know that her partner had already made a commitment to sell the piece of furniture to another person. By then, she was apologizing…but also saying that if I sent the remaining amount, they would agree to sell it to me. At that point, I was done with them. She lacked integrity, and she still has not returned my $200. Scam? Maybe. Dishonest? Absolutely. Be honest.