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365 Coaching Tips: 157th, 158th and 159th

June 6th Coaching Tip: Get Your Sleep.

Tomorrow is a big day. I’ve been training for months to hopefully compete and run faster than I did one year ago in my first ever Indiana Senior Games. This being my second time, I knew that I needed to eat properly, hydrate well, and get my sleep (over 7 hours). When I left my house for the 3-hour drive, I loaded up the cooler with “my food and my drinks” and checked in to the hotel around 6pm. And I was resting, in bed, by 8 pm, and woke up the next morning with exceptional sleep and resilience.

Prioritize your sleep for top performance. Lack of sleep can have many side effects, including reducing your life longevity. Get your sleep.

June 7th Coaching Tip: Compete With Yourself.

I challenged myself and competed against no one. That’s correct. No one.  BUT, I ran faster in the 100m, 200m and 400m than I did last year (June 2024) at the Indiana Senior Games. Sure, we had competition, but I had no one in my exact age bracket (60-64 years old) to compete against, so I just set out to beat myself. And that I did. I ran the 100m nearly two full seconds faster than my 2024 time, and I ran the 200m two seconds faster while running the 400m almost four seconds faster. So proud of myself for improving even though I’m a year older. It’s amazing what you can do, if you simply compete with yourself in a healthy manner.

June 8th Coaching Tip: Talk It Over.

Lots to do? Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Having a hard time prioritizing? Maybe your stuck? Talk it over with your partner or friend or spouse, and you may be surprised just how quickly a plan comes together. Why is that? Because most of us know exactly what we need to do and sometimes, we just need to say it out loud to someone we trust. Research indicates that when we write down priorities, and then share them with someone, we are much more likely to complete them. We feel this innate responsibility to honor the commit to thy self and your trusted person. In my situation recently, my partner had a lot going on, a lot. We were able to get my partner’s three key to do’s done in less than an afternoon. Although I wasn’t feeling the best (lil exhausted from the senior games), me simply allowing my partner to talk it over helped out bunches. Talk it over. 

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365 Coaching Tips: 145th, 146th and 147th

May 25th Coaching Tip: Explore.

Invited some friends to come over to Indianapolis and Carmel, IN for the weekend to go explore downtown Carmel and then join us to see the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500. Our group of nine ranged from eight years old to 63; two black men in their 30’s; a married couple; and another couple. My bestie and I went to explore the parking situation a couple days prior to the Indy 500 since it’s the race is sold out; we have four different groups coming in for the race, so we had to have a common location for everyone to show up. It worked! We all showed up between 8:30-10:40am, had an early tailgate, then walked to the race Sunday morning. One of the guys wore a hat with the word “Explore” on it. He was exploring; he had never been to the Indy 500, he wasn’t even a fan of racing, but he was ready to explore.

Now in my sixth decade, I’m all about truly making memories and giving people the chance to see and experience new things and/or things that I deeply love and cherish. By the end of the evening, I had received the sweetest thank you’s from all involved. Explore!

May 26th Coaching Tip: Memorial Day.

Although I haven’t lost anyone directly close to me in the line of military duty, we choose to honor those who have lost their lives while serving our country. Today, I am wearing my Navy t-shirt. My grandfather George was called to Navy duty in the last year of WWII when he was 33 years old, married and had a son (my father). My partner’s dad was a Navy pilot after WWII. We choose to honor them, as their efforts definitely helped us have the freedom to celebrate today.

May 27th Coaching Tip: Get Checked Out.

Couple months ago I noticed a dark spot on my left arm had developed. It was close to a spot that I had removed a few years ago. In no real rush, I scheduled a full dermatology checkup for when I returned to Carmel in mid-May. Welp, the spot that I thought was concerning was actually a good ole age spot; however, the doc found a basal cell spot on my right arm. Glad he checked me over, because I had not even noticed it. Today, I got it removed, just one week after it being noticed. Be courageous and intentional regarding your wellness; don’t wait, get checkout out. (My father had multiple spots of skin problems, and his ears took a toll due to him being outside so much as a farmer, worker, and horse trainer. He regularly visited the dermatologist and had them addressed.)

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365 Coaching Tips: 142nd, 143rd & 144th

May 22nd Coaching Tip: Our High School Class.

Thanks to some of the gals from our 1982 high school graduating class, they have created a group for our class on Facebook. Not only do they keep us up to date on our classmates and their parents, but they also post positive and uplifting messages. Our class was special in high school from 1978 to 1982…and still is special. Even when we were teenagers, we bonded together. I don’t remember fighting; I remember support, fun times, community involvement, fellowship and Christian activities, high achievers, and academic as well as athletic accomplishments. If you are in touch with your high school classmates, good for you. Keep it rolling! If not, can YOU be the one that brings the classmates back together? Our high school class continues on our tradition of caring, now four to five decades later.

May 23rd Coaching Tip: Know Your Boss.

As an employee, it’s to your benefit to understand and know your boss. Of course, you’re already thinking that “no, it’s their responsibility to get to know me and get me!” For the relationship to work, it should actually work both ways. For example, my boss mentioned to me that she appreciates how I email her a summary of what’s going on prior to our monthly one-on-one. Now I do that summary email the day before we meet, so that she can has more time to read it before our one-on-one. Plus, she remembers it better, too. And during our one-on-one, since we both are more prepared and on the same page, it goes quicker, it gives me time to ask her what she needs me to do for her and the team. This two-way share is important to us both; we’re on the same page. Take time to get to know your boss and how they like to operate.

May 24th Coaching Tip: 112th Birthday Wishes.

Today would have been my grandmother’s 112th birthday. Although she passed in 2003, some 22 years ago, we had sweet memories of her today that my brothers and I shared with our mom. Our grandmother was a stunning gal, married a dapper guy from East Chicago Emerson and the Univ. of Michigan. She was a stay-at-home mother with two kids and also was a substitute teacher (she attended the Indiana Teachers College), got involved in local politics, the Red Cross, had some real estate holdings, and was widowed at 50 years old. She didn’t stop. She kept right on going and gave us three grandkids one on one time that we were reminiscing about today. It was sweet to share these memories with our own mother and to acknowledge her heavenly birthday.

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365 Coaching Tips: 139th, 140th and 141st

May 19th Coaching Tip: Parks are FREE.

What a way to introduce your kids to free entertainment by simply taking them to a park. Teach a child how to go find 10 different leaves or six different bugs or five different weeds or wildflowers. Ask them to go make a friend with someone else. Time them as they run to something or encourage them to go play with other kids. Parks are free and simply go underutilized.

I’m always amazed when I go to Central Park in NYC; no matter the time of the year, it’s busy and bustling. Mostly with adults. Adults realize how important it is to be outside, soaking up sunshine, laying on the grass, listening to the birds chirp, running or walking on the many paths. If we as adults get it, then let’s make sure that our children get those experiences early in their lives. Parks are free and might be one of the best educational experiences that kids can have. And the quality time visiting the parks is priceless.

May 20th Coaching Tip: Practice The Script.

Today I worked with a couple young advisors who are learning how to care for clients of their colleague, a senior advisor who is expecting to wrap up working in the next couple years. As these two are meeting the clients for the first time, they are simply listening and taking notes. For the second meeting, we are now working on scripting and practicing questions for them to ask these clients. They landed on asking them about their family tree. We agreed that who doesn’t like talking about their family tree. And the second question would be to ask permission to reconfirm the beneficiaries on record for their accounts. We practiced these questions and relief came to them with smiles. Then we added another part of the script. After these meetings with the clients, the young advisors would call clients back, at the request of the senior advisor. This ties the effort together, and the client is understanding that the senior advisor is still in charge, but delegating work to be done. Take time to practice the script. It will drive more confidence and comfort for all parties involved.

May 21st Coaching Tip: Stand Up to Greet People.

Recently as a client, I went into an office and was greeted warmly and professionally by a couple of the company’s colleagues. They both stood up and came out of their offices and workspace to greet me. But a third colleague just looked at me and stayed seated in his work cubicle. It immediately created an uncomfortable situation for the two who had greeted me, knowing that I was a client.

Coaching tip for today is simple: when a client approaches you, stand up and greet them. A simple handshake or even a quick standup and smile at them are both appreciated. If you don’t stand up, you may be sending a signal to that client that they don’t matter. Stand up.

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365 Coaching Tips: 136th, 137th & 138th

May 16th Coaching Tip: Weather Warnings.

Pay attention to the weather and listen to when the weather experts are issuing warnings. For most of the week, the news and weather channels were warning parts of the country about incoming severe thunderstorms that could potentially create tornadoes. This is how quick the weather changed on a nice spring afternoon. At 4:00pm until 5:45pm, I was sitting outside with my neighbors chatting and watching a softball game. As I jumped in my car to head to my 6:00pm haircut, I called those same neighbors quickly and said, “The weather in the west looks ominous. Can you guys take down my flags and move some stuff inside?” They got in to motion quickly. By 6:30pm, my haircut was done and I drove to get some groceries and then headed north to our lakeside condo. As I was looking west and also at the radar on my phone, the storm looked like it was going to stay south as I was intending to drive a bit north. But all of the sudden the tornado sirens started blaring and I knew that I needed to get to the condo quickly to be safe. I drove quickly to the condo…only to find out later that the worst winds were happening right as I was entering my condo. Pay attention to weather warnings; it can be a matter of life or death, as more than 30 people across the Midwest died that evening.

May 17th Coaching Tip: Take A Lazy Day.

This coaching tip is simple. Sometimes you just need a lazy day. Take it. You have to listen to your body. Being good to your body is a vote for YOUR overall wellness. Take a lazy day.

May 18th Coaching Tip: Avoid The Head-On Collision.

It was a lovely Sunday morning as my mother was driving from her home in Kentland, IN to make a quick stop in Lafayette and then travel on to meet our family for a baby shower in Pendleton, IN. This is her seventh great grandchild, and these events are beloved by my mother. As she was just 20 minutes into her trip, some type of truck started heading directly at her. She avoided the head-on collision and the side-swipe by this truck, she quickly reacted, but both tires on the passenger side hit the curb and immediately went flat due to the sudden impact. My mother got her car pulled over at a gas station very close by, regained her composure, and although she was shaking a bit, called me to tell me what had just happened and that she was ok.

She and I quickly developed a plan to get her car insurance involved to fix the tires/get the car towed, and then my partner and I got the wheels literally rolling. My partner drove to the exact location where my mother was; mom was already identifying who had the tire size available and who was open to install them on a Sunday afternoon. Fast forward to 7:00pm…my mother and I did make it to the shower a couple hours late, then returned to pick up her car in Lafayette. The two new tires were installed and I followed her awhile to help ensure her confidence. The biggest decision she made all day: avoid the head-on collision.

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365 Coaching Tips: 130th, 131st and 132nd

May 10th Coaching Tip: Say No to Price Increases.

Ever had that feeling when you’re feeling like you’re being taken advantage of? For example, maybe your internet bill keeps creeping up higher and higher, then all of the sudden, the $35/month jumped to $50/month to $75/month? Welp, that just happened to me. Services that are doubling in costs may be ok to some people, but I’m saying no. I switched and locked in a 4-year guaranteed rate of $55/month with unlimited data and 1G. Say no to price increases that make your skin crawl. Have the courage to say no, take a few minutes and make the change, and take care of YOU!

May 11th Coaching Tip: Mothers love Mother’s Day.

Mothers love mother’s day. Why? Because it is ALL about them. And all they want is to be recognized, be around their kids and grandkids, share a meal, play a game, tell some stories, laugh, and spend time together. It’s pretty simple, and yet, why is that so many people miss it or “underthink it” or forget to even get a handwritten note, card, flowers, a treat for their mom? Not sure I understand, but it’s easy to resolve. Put a reminder on your calendar a week prior to Mother’s Day to help you be prepared and make it about her. Mothers love mother’s day.

May 12th Coaching Tip: The Best Want Feedback.

At the end of my day today, I coached one of the best female advisors in our company. She felt a bit stuck, as she mentioned that she hadn’t got much done since our convo in January. However, she is growing via referrals, especially with women, and plans to hire 1-2 more talented teammates by midyear. She’s also adding an intern for the summer. We also discussed how a couple of her teammates cannot get out of the day to day work, and do the more important work. By the end of the call, we had identified 3-5 prioritized things that she and her team can do this summer with the intern to help automate her practice to free up time for teammates, focus on the clients that she wants to replicate, and refocus the amount of time spent with segments of her clients. By the end of the call, she was smiling and was ready to set up the next call. The best leaders want feedback. They also want to be heard. Listen, listen, and then lean in.

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365 Coaching Tips: 127th, 128th & 129th

May 7th Coaching Tip: Are You Magnetic?

This past week, I had the pleasure of coaching a multi-generational team in Naples. As we wrapped up, one of the women looked at me and said, “I’m so pumped up to go make change. You’re magnetic!” I was completely caught off guard but somehow had my wits about me to smile and say, “thank you.”

Are you magnetic? Per proper definitions, magnetic means that you’re attractive, captivating or alluring, as a person. I’m pleased that I had that impact on her. However, it’s my responsibility as a coach to follow up and see if the magnetic feeling continues carrying over into this week and following weeks/months with execution. Most of us have a few magnetic people in our lives. What we do with that magnetic feeling is the ultimate test.

May 8th Coaching Tip: Training Someone Else.

As I flew home this evening on a plane that was just 1/3 full, we had a funny, senior flight attendant who really took to the microphone. He explained what we needed to do as we entered the plane: space out and only 1-2 people per row. Everyone complied. Then he explained that he was training a new flight attendant, as it was her first flight, and he requested that everyone should give her some grace. The passengers clapped and were kind to her. As she made drinks for everyone and brought them to our seats, he stood behind her and watched her as she delivered them all.

We’ve all been there, that moment when you’re a new employee and you don’t know anything but you’re really trying. But whew, does it ever help when you have good training and a willing mentor/partner to quickly give you feedback as you begin your new role. Help someone out by helping train them. It might make you a better leader and colleague, too.

May 9th Coaching Tip: Gardening Is Like Leading.

My grandmother could get anything to grow and her flowers in her yard were always vibrant. My mother has similar skills and has won numerous flower and garden awards. This weekend, I was trying to emulate their skills. Out came the flowerpots, in came the annuals, dirt, and fertilizer. Identifying which flowerpots would be in the shade with which flowers was important from the beginning of my potting process. I set aside four window boxes because they are all in the shade and they need shade loving annuals (impatients). The other pots would need partial shade or full sun.

As I was potting, I was realizing that gardening is much like leading. It’s important to provide the right amount of sunshine, pot size, fertilizer, soil, and water, as well as protection from wind…or the flowers and plants won’t thrive. Similar to people, leaders need to make it a priority to really understand who needs what (sunshine, fertilizer, etc.) and when, all in an effort to help them grow and develop into the teammate or colleague that they can become. Seeds turn into seedlings, then to small plants, on to medium to larger flowers/plants, and ultimately their time runs out at harvest or die due to cold weather. If you care for your people like a gardener cares for their garden, you should reap great rewards. Are you a gardener of people?

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365 Coaching Tips: 124th, 125th and 126th

May 4th Coaching Tip: Read The Fine Print.

Since 2013, I’ve owned 33 properties in my real estate companies. I’ve rented many of these homes multiple times and sold a number of them. Today, my realtor hosted an open house for a home we listed for sale just two days ago. In receiving four offers quickly, my realtor and I closely read thru the offers, i.e. the fine print. In three of the four offers, the realtor was trying to increase their fee amount from 2% to 3%. In one of the offers, the escrow amount wasn’t even 1%. We asked them to increase it, and they did quickly. Another offer had just 5% down, with 95% mortgage. I’m not interested in that. The first offer we got a couple days ago was asking for a home warranty, the 3% realtor fee, and then a $4,000 closing credit. That offer was a no way, absolutely no way.

Take time to read the details and truly understand the impact on the contract. The fine print matters; don’t peruse over it. It matters.

May 5th Coaching Tip: Follow Up After In-Person Meetings.

In my coaching work, some of the teams and businesses will host events. They might spend months planning the event, fine tuning the speakers, their speeches, and the invite list. And yet, follow up is typically not thought of thoroughly. Recently we had an international meeting with 15 teams who manage a significant amount of business. At the end of both days of the conference and also the first day upon their return home, the leader summarized a handful of items as expected next steps. Then, he asked his admin team to develop a matrix to track who is making progress on these next steps.

This was an elite case of ensuring follow up will most likely happen. Following up after these valuable (and expensive) in-person encounters in life or with business meetings can really show others that you care and are paying attention. Follow up!

May 6th Coaching Tip: Weather Changes.

As we wrap up this week in our Florida home before we head north to enjoy the Indiana and Midwest summer and fall weather, we are prepping for the weather changes. It’s not IF a hurricane will come close to our Naples, FL home in the next few months, it’s WHEN a hurricane / severe storm will come. Thus, we are planning ahead for the warmer and stormier weather in Florida. The outdoor furniture is inside the home. The water will be shut off along with things like the water heater, bidets, Tesla charger, and washer & dryer. Many of the electrical plugs will be unplugged. The thermostat will be on 78 degrees most of the time. We have thoughtfully utilized almost everything in our refrigerator over the last 2-3 weeks, to enjoy it now and reduce waste.

As we head north, the weather is changing up there, too. The month of May can be tornadic, so we will always be charged up and have shoes on if tornadoes arise. We also plan to be on the lake regularly this summer to enjoy the sunsets. We will ensure we have proper lighting on the boat to return to the dock safely. My hope is that you, too, prepare ahead for the changes in weather. Don’t be caught off guard due to weather changes!

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365 Coaching Tips: 121st, 122nd and 123rd

May 1st Coaching Tip: Listen Deeply.

It’s one thing to say, “Yeah, I’m a good listener.” But it’s another thing to demonstrate it. Today, a group of us listened to a business leader of 20 people share how his team embraces their purpose in their business by deeply listening to help improve the quality of (financial) lives of the families they serve. One of the attendees kinda smirked, raised his hand, and asked, “how do you listen deeply?” The leader thanked the attendee for the question and then shared with the entire room all the different exercises, training, and coaching that his team has invested in. Then to further make his point, he shared an amazing example that quieted the room, as he had everyone’s attention on the power of listening sharing how one of his teammates helped transform a challenging client relationship into a very satisfied client.

Listening is simple: ask questions that start with the words how, what, when, who, and where (try to stay away from why questions). Then, stay present as the questions are answered. Ask follow-up questions on what you heard, and try to only ask one questionat a time, so that the convo can go deeper. Refrain from compiling YOUR answer in your head. Listen, then ask for more info. Then a bit later, if necessary, you can ask for permission to provide a couple insights. However, by listening thoroughly, give yourself time to evaluate what you are hearing; sometimes, as the listener, you don’t have to say anything. The person speaking can many times figure out their gameplan, learn from their venting, proceed thoughtfully, and be thankful for your listening skills. Instead of listening to answer others, listen deeply.

May 2nd Coaching Tip: Psychological Safety.

In front of nearly 20 leaders, I had the opportunity to share what makes great teams perform better than other teams. With a compilation of research, I mentioned one of the top factors was that team members needed to feel safe to truly share their feelings about their work and their work environment. One of the leaders in the room (who tends to lead with a bit of the “stick” more than others in the room) interrupted our conversation and went on a rant about empathy. It was clear that he didn’t believe in empathy for others. When he was done ranting, I opened up the discussion in the room. Other leaders jumped in and said the best way to get people on your side and to gain buy-in is to first to understand them and their situation. One leader even indicated that if you check-in, listen, and follow up, you don’t even have to show empathy or act like you’re being empathetic. The fact that you checked in, listened, and followed up later on, shows that you care. These acts create psychological safety for them/team members to share with you when something important is on their mind and that pertains to the team’s improvement. Whether the going gets tough or the road is smooth and fast, give others the space and safety to respectfully share with you what’s really going on. This psychological safety will most likely help drive winning results for your team.

May 3rd Coaching Tip: Derby Day!

Although I grew up on a standardbred horse farm, I really love watching the Triple Crown thoroughbred races. Since today was Derby Day, felt it would be fun to celebrate a little bit by making some mint juleps in the mid-afternoon and invite the neighbors over. Connie and Tony came over; they had never made nor drank a mint julep. We got to work and had a blast doing it. We muddled fresh mint leaves with the simple syrup, then added the bourbon and ice. While shaking them, oops, we made a mess. We added more ingredients and more ice, then sat down to drink these yummy mint juleps, watching the pre-race chatter and races, and we really learned more and more about our next-door neighbors. After a couple mint juleps, I learned about their beloved grandkids and the business that their son now runs for them. As it approached closer to 5pm, off they went to get all dressed up for a Derby Party.

Celebrate life by making moments with your neighbors. It was Derby Day and now my neighbors know that I grew up on a horse farm in Indiana, with a deep love of horse racing and basketball. Celebrate traditions and make deeper relationships,,,It’s Derby Day.

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365 Coaching Tips: 115th, 116th and 117th

April 25th Coaching Tip: Flat Stanley Taught Us.

Our friend’s daughter sent me a package with the Flat Stanley instructions and a hand-colored Flat Stanley. If you are unfamiliar with Flat Stanley, join the club; I wasn’t either. However, the instructions were simple to understand and on one page. The essence of this game with Flat Stanley is to take him (hand-colored lil Flat Stanley) with you as you visit places, take photos of him, and then fill out a photo book with the photos that we took of Flat Stanley as he spent a couple days with us. Flat Stanley visited the beach, got to see some palm and banyan trees, visited where I work, saw a sunset, joined us for dinner, and even met our waiter, Mario. When I pulled out our Flat Stanley, Mario quickly said, “I vividly remember the Flat Stanley exercise in elementary.” Isn’t that amazing that an adult remembers this exercise so vividly over 20 years later?

Guess who else learned a bunch? We did. On the final page of the photo book was a number of questions about the state that Flat Stanley visited. We learned so much about Florida; the state bird is the Northern Mockingbird. The state tree is the cabbage palm. The state song is Suwanee River. The nickname is Sunshine State. The motto is “In God We Trust”. The largest city is Jacksonville, FL, with nearly 1 million people. The state is the 22nd largest (in square miles) in the USA. Flat Stanely helped us learn and it was a joy spending time with him and helping our friend’s daughter complete her school project. It’s all packaged up and ready to be mailed to her tomorrow. Flat Stanley taught us, too.

April 26th Coaching Tip: Play Til The End.

Last night during the Denver Nuggets playoff game at the LA Clippers, the score was tied with a few seconds remaining. The Clippers had mounted an incredible 32-9 run in the fourth quarter, putting Denver on its heels. With the score tied and six seconds remaining, Denver Nugget’s best player took a “last” shot which ended up being an airball. But, with the clock running down, another Nugget’s teammate, Aaron Gordon, saw that the shot was going to be short and jumped up to grab it and made a dunk…with .01 on the clock. That’s not ONE second; that’s .01 or 1/10th of a second! This was the perfect example of “playing to the very last moment, playing to the end.” How many times in life do we slow down at the end or we don’t do our job expecting others to execute or we think we will just do it tomorrow or we say, “let’s go into overtime.” Aaron Gordon taught us to play to the end!

April 27th Coaching Tip: Prioritize Recovery.

Yesterday was an intense day for my senior games preparation. (My goal is to compete (again) in the Indiana games on June 7, and then the National Senior Games in Des Moines in early August. The events are the 100m, 200m, 400m, and 800m runs; I’m also going to do the basketball shooting at Nationals.) After shooting baskets for 32 minutes, I headed to the nearby middle school’s track where I ran six-100m’s and two-200m’s, did some leg strengthening and took two walks. Burned nearly 1,000 calories; it was mid-day, about 85 degrees and a light breeze. Hydration and the hot tub were both priorities after that intense workout. As you might imagine, today is all about recovery. We scheduled an hour massage, after a slow morning walk. Now I’m heading to the pool to swim a couple laps…and take a nap by the pool. Our neighbors brought us some homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs, so we don’t even have to do food prep today. Take time to keep your body healthy by prioritizing recovery after intense days. As a 60 year old, being fit and healthy for me is a blend of appropriate strength and cardio HIIT training, proper nutrition (80% of the time), 7+ hours of sleep, enjoying the work and purpose in our life, and allowing the brain and body to have time to recover. Your body (and mind) deserve it. Prioritize recovery.