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I Hope

I Hope we remember our resilient grandparents and great grandparents, who got through World War I, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression and World War II during the early-mid 1900’s.

I Hope we remain resilient for a few months, to help save 1,000s and 1000’s of lives.

I Hope we remain patient and calm, yet confident and full of Hope.

I Hope we truly appreciate the nurses, nurse practitioners, respiratory therapists, and doctors, and every single member of the cleaning crews, who are going to work in extreme circumstances to help save lives.

I Hope we remain home, so that these caregivers soon have less cases of COVID-19, not more. I Hope when we do go out, it truly is “essential.”

I Hope we are grateful because we do or did have a job, and complain a bit less in the future. I Hope we find purposeful and meaningful work again soon, if your work was lost.

I Hope we pitch in and help those that have lost their jobs.

I Hope we cook more at home, eat at the kitchen table, and wash our own dishes.

I Hope we tip more happily, and I Hope we praise the chefs freely, when we return to our favorite restaurants and bars.

I Hope we say THANK YOU more, not less, to every one of those fellow humans who serve us.

I Hope we allow teachers to teach in the classroom, without helicoptering over our teachers. I Hope we thank them for managing overcrowded classrooms with minimal supplies, day after day, year after year.

I Hope we let our kids learn consequences, both good ones and the bad.

I Hope we teach our kids at home, how to help run and operate a home, manage a budget, cook a meal, change a furnace filter, clean the house, do the laundry, etc.

I Hope we save more, and build an emergency fund, so that we are ready for any future inconvenience.

I Hope we love, teach and care for our children, and not abuse them more.

I Hope we keep taking walks outside with our partners and family.

I Hope we don’t hole up and never trust again.

I Hope we can trust ourselves to make the best decisions, for ourselves, our families and others.

I Hope we further realize how difficult it is to lead, and the deep complexities to it. I Hope we help our leaders become better, with calm feedback.

I Hope we refine our own crafts and trades. I Hope we are more astute entrepreneurs, and become even more in tune with what our clients and customers truly need.

I Hope we continue to wash our hands, even more thoroughly than ever.

I Hope we appreciate our hair stylists and barbers, and give them appropriate tips.

I Hope we keep riding our bikes after dinner, instead of allowing the tires to go flat.

I Hope we keep saying hello to our neighbors on down the street, like we are doing now, while out on walks.

I Hope we always care for our most vulnerable, our seniors and elderly, who have the most wisdom and love to give. They’ve seen it all; I Hope we always listen to them.

I Hope we embrace technology even more, as a way to allow efficiency and ease in to our lives…instead of rejecting it like in the past.

I Hope we keep doing our “Zoom” happy hour meetings and those “House Party” get togethers.

I Hope we appreciate public spaces like parks and golf courses, and pick up after ourselves when we visit them in the future.

I Hope we beam with excitement like never before when we can once again attend all the movies, sporting events, and concerts. I Hope it’s a flipping blast!

I Hope we respect and thank the police, the National Guard, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and security personnel for caring for our needs, and handling the deep, dark horrible acts that continue to happen in our cities during this crisis.

I Hope that we remain thoughtful and caring Global citizens.

I Hope that if we are sick, we will STAY HOME. I Hope we think more deeply about that one decision in the future.

I Hope that we prep a bit better, and have our necessary supplies in our home, so that we don’t rush to the stores and create havoc for grocery and general stores.

I Hope we continue to allow long-haul semi-trucks, Amazon, FedEx, UPS, and the US Mail trucks more room as they travel to deliver OUR goods and products.

I Hope we smile at the garbage and recycle workers, and be grateful they do what they do. I Hope we realize they are picking up our messes, every single day.

I Hope when we travel in the future, we understand and do the research so that we clearly understand the situation where we are headed.

I Hope when we are in airplanes and using public transportation, we have clean hands and our coughs are covered properly. I Hope we say “Bless You” when one sneezes.

I Hope we continue to pray more, and embrace our place of worship and our Lord.

I Hope we love more, selflessly, like our care givers love us under this COVID 19 threat.

I Hope that we can trust again.

As I woke up this morning, I simply said to myself, “I Hope.” Today, April 2, 2020, the USA now has over 200,000 cases of the nearly one million cases of COVID 19 globally, which is two times as many as any other country in the world. And yet I still woke up, saying and thinking, and now writing, “I Hope.” Please, do what you can. Stay home. Stay physically distant from others. Stay deeply connected to those you love. Stay in touch with your people and your families, leveraging the wide variety of technology tools. Stay close with your Lord. – Jen Wilfong 4/2/2020 8am E

April 2 morning prayer: The world presses in on me and defeats me, despite my best efforts, until finally I call on You for help and find You there, just waiting for me to ask. Thank You, Lord, for helping me. Amen.

source: Johns Hopkins COVID 19 Dashboard https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/

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Working “On” The Business The Day After Christmas

Today was a day that I actually focused on developing my skills. It felt great to take hours and truly listen to other coaching experts, read from a multitude of coaching websites, and watch other coaches at work via YouTube. At the end today, I am actually better for taking time to Stop. Learn. Develop. Grow.

We coach our clients to take time to work “on” their business, and not just “in” their business. Today, I worked “on” my business/craft/skillset. As coaches, we must be role models to others, and practice what we preach.

There was time for others today, too. In fact, the best part of the day was planning some future fun with both of my parents. As they drove away this morning after a couple holiday, family gatherings, I said to them with a smile, “…see you in a month.” My dad is going to be inducted into the Indiana Standardbred Hall of Fame, and my mom announced this surprise at our family Christmas gathering. Now we are all planning to be there in person in late January 2020.

How did you spend your day after Christmas? Connecting with the people you love? Working on developing you? Working “on” your business? This is a short, but targeted time to get a lot done before the New Year begins.

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Reading Like Mad

For years and years and years, reading more had always been a goal. Finally, I knew that I had to change it up to get better reading results. Get some small wins by finishing books that I had already started, read shorter books to gain a feeling of accomplishment, and embrace technology. So in 2018, I signed up for the Audible. Read more than ever, and finished 19 books.

In 2019, I signed up for the FREE Libby app, via my local library. Deleted my Audible account, which saves me $15/month. And the result is even better than 2018. In just four months, already completed 11 books and have two more books that will be finished by the end of April, which will total 14 books in the first four months of 2019.

Why am I reading so much? Because I have always wanted to. And because when I read about our seniors and the elderly, they wished they would have worked less and read more, among many other things. With Libby and Audible, we can listen to the book, and drive. We can listen and work out. Listen and go on a walk. Even listen while in the home, on our Echo Dot. Reading via Libby has been a wonderfully efficient use of my time. What a great way to leverage technology to increase my learning, knowledge, and relevancy.

More than ever now when I am speaking and coaching, I have a calm confidence to recommend books that are specific to a situation. If a team is trying to implement their first business plan, I recommend “Traction” by G Wickman. If a team is trying to figure out their brand and how to be relevant online, I recommend “10X” by Grant Cardone or “Crushing It” by G Vaynerchuk. If a team is facing some dysfunction, I recommend “Strengths” by T Rath or “Five Dysfunctions of A Team” by P Lencioni. If someone is refining their leadership skills, B Brown’s “Dare to Lead” is spot-on. If I am trying to make sense of current events, then consuming history helps me to better understand that we humans have a tendency to repeat what our ancestors did.

How are you staying relevant? How are you sharpening your saw? How are you helping others refine their skills? I believe that at the end of life, I will be very glad that I read all of these fascinating books (consuming books via Libby & Audible) and kept my learning edge sharp.

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The 7″ Snowfall

As the weather channel updates shouted, “the snow is coming,” most were thinking, “so run to the grocery store, drive home quickly, squeeze in those last minute errands, get outside and shovel that snow, salt the sidewalk,” right? Well, actually no was the answer for me this snowfall. Yes, I said, “No!”

Stayed Inside. The snow arrived on a Saturday morning and snowed all day. I purposefully made the decision to stay inside. This decision allowed me to get some tax prep done, sort thru some piles on my desk, watch some NFL playoffs, get on the treadmill for over an hour, catch up on my Linked In connections, and just be/do nothing. I lit candles, had the fire burning all day.

Plenty of Food. We looked at all the food in the frig (removed some items that were dated “best used by 2017 and 2018”) and kitchen cabinets, and realized we had plenty of food for 4-5 days. Plenty! Even had time to make soup, rice, bean salad, omelettes, whole wheat pancakes, and protein shakes. Sorted thru and organized the canned goods, and noticed that we are truly executing on the Mediterranean diet: very little meat, lots of beans, fruits and veggies, whole wheat bread, oatmeal, some dairy, and yes, some red wine.

Write and Read. Staying inside, enjoying the views of the snow while sitting by the fire just simply allowed me to slow down. I read. I wrote. I refined my 2019 goals a bit more. I talked to some friends and family. I slept over 9 hours!

Leverage Others. One of our contractors came by with a snowplow on his truck, and he plowed my drive quite easily. Thus, zero back pain for me. When I went thru my grocery list, I ordered groceries with an online app, and after the snowstorm had subsided for more than 24 hours, I easily drove on clear streets to pick up my groceries curbside. These both were huge time savers, and that’s interesting during a weekend that I was choosing to spend time in the home, on me and friends/family.

How do you say “NO?” When do you say “NO?” It’s a decision that only YOU can make. I feel refreshed as I head in to my Sunday evening. How you manage YOUR time is YOUR decision. My recommendation is to maybe more thoroughly enjoy the 7″ snowfall, instead of getting caught up in the craziness. If you choose to “Stay Outside”, then go sledding. Play. Make a snow angel. Enjoy the 7″ snowfall.

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Perfect Pancakes & Leadership

How could anyone ever correlate making Perfect Pancakes and Leadership? I have used this metaphor many times over the last couple years, especially when a leader may need to practice their key messages, or talk through key topics prior to having a critical conversation, or prep before they introduce a new product launch.

This Sunday morning, I whipped up some pancake batter and grabbed the Nutella spread from the kitchen cupboard. My mouth was salivating, thinking back just one year ago as we enjoyed our time in Cantania, Sicily, Italy, savoring all kinds of chocolate croissants, espresso and cappuccino. However, my first two pancakes didn’t turn out so well. Why did that happen, when I had such a great visualization going on in my head?

Because, I hadn’t made pancakes in a while. With no recent practice, I burnt the pancakes because the temperature in the pan was just too hot. Yes, I over cooked those first two pancakes. Torched them! The third and fourth pancakes turned out much better, and I quickly spread the Nutella on them and devoured them. And I am encouraged and now ready to make even more pancakes on New Years Eve and New Year Day mornings.

In our coaching work, I continue to be amazed at how some colleagues hardly practice for those huge, critical conversations, or for that presentation to the key prospect that might help make your yearend numbers look brilliant, or on how to deliver a new message or product to current clientele. As a former college athlete, I recommend to practice. In fact, I recommend it too frequently. Too many colleagues just are not practicing, and so when they don’t get the results they intended, they are frustrated and surprised. As a coach, I recommend practicing your messaging in your car, in front of a mirror, on a walk with a trusted mentor, and even with your spouse or partner.

Let’s don’t over-complicate how to execute better as a leader. Most leaders are former athletes. Do what you used to do, all the time: Practice! When on a team, the coach held more practices than games you played. Many more practices than games. Athletes become good because they learn how to execute under pressure due to their countless hours of practice, and yes, winning some games along the way.

As a leader, are you practicing? Are you learning from other leaders? Are you practicing on simplifying your messaging with great clarity? Are you taking time to develop personnel? Are you prepping for those critical conversations that can change the trajectory of you and your colleague’s professional relationship? Like making the perfect pancake, it takes a few before the good pancakes are eaten. Practice makes better pancakes, and it makes better leaders, too. Practice!

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Intentional & Curious

In February, we headed to Mayo’s with incredible intentionality. We did not like the uncurious answers by local doctors and experts to our questions about our health. We scheduled, in advance, a two-day appointment. This gave us time to gather our records, which helped Mayo’s with their work in understanding our health situation much better.
  • Was the $1,000 Trip (food, airfare and 2 hotel nights) worth it? Yes.
  • Why? When you find out that at this 4th opinion, not just a 2nd or 3rd opinion, there is “no need for surgical intervention on your heart,” we were relieved and that was a priceless feeling. In common language, the doc said “we don’t think you need open heart surgery.”
  • Are you staying curious enough, when you know the symptoms are NOT there? Are you intentional enough to go get multiple opinions? Are you willing to take the time and energy to do it? Do you do this with your business? Your own health?
My lesson learned is quite simple: remain curious and be intentional. If you settle, sometimes an unnecessary open heart surgery can happen due to the system’s or the doctors’ lack of curiosity, as well as the potential conflict of being paid handsomely for the surgery.
In reading and finishing (billionaire) Ray Dalio’s book, “Principles”, he talks thoughtfully about radical open mindedness and radical transparency. He, too, went through the energy and effort of getting 4-5 medical opinions, only to find out that he NEVER had cancer in the first place.
Remain curious and intentional, my friends.
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90 Day Priorities

You have some goals and priorities at the “new year”? Do you keep those goals progressing every 90 days?
Here’s a hint to help you execute on those goals:
Write them down. 
Review them and discuss them with someone you deeply trust throughout January.  Weekly. Then do that same process again in February. Weekly.  And again in March.  Weekly.
Wisely attack a few of your goals. All of your annual goals do NOT have to be started in January.
For example, I have always wanted to read more. Every single year. But in 2018, I was more specific with my “read more” goal. I wanted to read books that would help me improve my leadership training and business ownership skills, and to help me coach others on sales growth. After discussing this with a ferocious reader, he recommended that I utilize an app and listen to books as I drive. So I downloaded the mobile app Audible, and got my first book free. I have already finished it, downloaded another book and finished it, too. And have read five hardback books that were within reach in my office. Yes, three books read by Feb 4. And now 7 books read by March 17, 2018. A new record for me, all because I changed a few critical behaviors: downloaded an app, listened/listening to books on Audible, and taking more time to read the good books that I already own.
The annual “eat more healthy goal” was also written down. However, this year I am taking trips to the grocery store and buying different type of foods. Olives. Oranges. Sugar-free dark chocolate. And I listened to a podcast on mindful eating; now I am much more aware of WHAT I am eating and the size of portion, as I now compare those portions to my palm and hand.
Lesson learned for me is simply this: take VERY specific actions to change behavior quickly, after you write down and share your goals. Review your progress weekly, and then re-evaluate every 90 days.  Simply ask yourself, how did you do? If you progress and achieve at 75-80% success rate, pat yourself on the back, and continue your progress.  Kudos to YOU!
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Your Outlook Matters!

Are you a Woman in Leadership in a corporate or entrepreneurial setting? Or do you have a desire to become one? We work with women like you. Women who aspire ‘to sit at the table’ confidently; to run the financial side of business; to lead, collaborate with, and facilitate others; to let ambitions go hand in hand with a good work life balance; and to turn ‘hard work’ into ‘heartwork’, as this propells their leadership.

Our passion is to support/coach women, helping bring out their full potential and taking their leadership to a next level. We focus on the whole person, both work and private life, as we don’t see these as two separate worlds. With our monthly blog, (leveraging examples from our coaching and consulting practices), we provide tips, advice, and new outlooks which will encourage you to move forward. In our blog ‘What’s your top priority?’ we focussed on the importance of putting yourself first (#1), as leadership starts with you. What’s next?! Let’s start with a test.

Test your outlook (Self-Assess)
Answer the following questions with yes or no. We recommend you just follow your heart with your answer, not thinking too long. Tip: why not share your answers with a trusted friend or partner? It may turn out to be the start of your heartwork ‘support-team’.
1. When I wake up, I usually think ‘yes, this is going to be another good day!’.
2. When I receive a ‘bad’ comment, I typically view it as a learning opportunity.
3. I truly believe that not all people have to like me.
4. When my boss wants to have a talk with me, I don’t expect ‘trouble’.
5. When things go wrong or not as planned, I look forward to find the best solutions.

What’s your score?
Did you score four or more yes answers? If so, then there’s a big chance you are the optimistic type who sees the glass as always half-full. With mostly no’s on your list, you are probably the type who’s glass is half-empty or as a person with a pessimistic outlook. Did your answers ‘split’ with 2-3 yes’s or no’s? Then you first have to do some work on self. With a coach, you can explore what makes your answers a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, what’s getting in your way, and find out more about your outlook.

Does it matter? 
Yes! In our practice, we see that optimism facilitates women with their heartwork. Optimists stay focussed, action oriented, and keep moving ahead instead of spiraling down when things do not go the desired way. Optimistic ‘framing’ supports women to sustain themselves on their path to leadership.

Good news!
If optimism does not come naturally to you, the good news is that it can be learned. You can train yourself to be more optimistic, use less energy on negative thoughts, and prevent yourself from spiraling down. In our practice, here’s what we have learned as some tips from other women:
1.    Reflect on what’s really meaningful for you. Listen to your heart and make ‘adaptations’ in your (whole) life, if needed. It ‘brightens up’ your outlook.
2.    If you are a ‘worrier’, list all things you worry about. Which ones can you truly influence? Think of specific actions that will help you influence & solve them,  and then do it!
3.    When something goes wrong, do not think of the worse-case scenario. Instead,  reverse it! As a practice, sketch the positive scenarios first.
4.    Do you often have a little voice in your head that amplifies and/or dispapproves of  every mistake? Talk back and move forward!
5.    Are you an ‘approval junkie’? Then reflect on ‘What makes others opinions more important then my own?!’
6.    Do you avoid conflicts? Remember that conflicts are part of life and not the end of the world. On the contrary, they often lead to the long sought-after solution! Embrace this solution.
7.    Is your environment a bit ‘gloomy’? Then step out of this environment regularly. How? By meeting new people and doing new things. Like siging up of an art or fitness class, doing community work, reading inspiring books and articles…….
8.     Go the appreciative way: look for what works, instead of what does not work. It ‘opens up’ new possibilities and changes your worldview.

Just do it
It is this ‘simplicity’ which will make the tips effective. At the same time, this is the ‘difficult’ part. It requires letting go of old habits, exploring new territories, and adapting your framework. Yes, this is a challenging process and it may take some practicing. Where do you start? It all starts with a choice: choosing yourself and engaging in heartwork. Once you have taken this leap, practice is the key. Take many small steps (instead of one big step). Be aware of ‘overdoing’ it, as being too optimistic often leads to excuses. With all that in mind, just imagine what could happen if you go the optimistic way? Do not stop there, just do it!

Note: Authors Maleene de Ridder and Jen Wilfong are passionate about developing women as leaders. They embrace purposeful balance, wellness and ongoing learning, as well as leveraging global trends to further their coaching & consulting businesses. Both are certified coaches from the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara, CA. For more information, check them out on the web at www.maleenederidder.com and www.jenwilfong.com

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Can Leaders Become Master Gardeners?

As I began planting flowers this spring, I noticed a lot of similarities between developing businesses (and people) and growing a garden. My grandmother had a natural green thumb; she just knew how to get plants to take root and grow. She passed her love of gardening on to my mother. Mom has won numerous garden show awards by showing flowers and arrangements from her English-like gardens in the country. As for me, I can only hope to be as accomplished as they both were with their gardening skills, since I thoroughly enjoy working in my yard, especially with flower containers, and in community gardens, routinely checking out the multitude of flower beds. However, as I work in those beds, I find that I am using it as time to fine tune how I might help develop businesses and the people who make those businesses grow.

Here are the similarities that I notice between gardening and growing people and businesses:

Cultivate the soil. As you get ready to start your businesses, preparation is key. You may pull all-nighters thinking about the idea. You might provide a business plan to your banker, your partner or investors. You might even work for a competitor to learn and establish your own secret sauce. The key here is prep. The seed might just take root if the soil is cultivated just right.

Plant the seed. Once the prep is done, it’s time to plant the seed and get the business growing. Be watchful, to ensure the seed or idea sprouts. However, be patient and allow time for the business or person to grow. All things take time, but all things need a bit of attention, too. Be very selective with people; like seeds, they’ll grow best where the soil is ready and the support is easily available.

Water it/let it rain. Flowers and plants need the right amount of moisture, or they can’t produce nutrients for themselves. Water is the No. 1 need for plants and humans. How can you keep your employees fluid and engaged, bringing their ideas forward and solving problems quickly? Whatever you do, don’t let your people or your business idea dry up.

Sunshine. The sun is the most amazing star, at the center of the solar system. It gives plants, flowers, and people rays of hope. Employees need encouragement and recognition. Businesses need to see lights at the end of the tunnels. We all embrace sunrises and sunsets because of their simplistic beauty. Give your business and employees plenty of sun!

Fertilize appropriately. Every now and then, we all need an extra dose of something. A flower container might be stagnant, but with a shot of fertilizer, it can grow to a whole new height. Employees and business owners who gather advice, mentoring and coaching along the way have a better chance of having a growth spurt than those who don’t ask for feedback.

Remove the weeds. As business grows, you may have to eliminate some products, services, locations or employees. Toxic employees, processes, ideas or suffocating customers can kill growth. Just like a flower or vegetable garden, don’t allow the weeds to take over your harvest.

Just like gardening, there is rarely a magical fix when developing successful businesses and people. It takes continual good decisions with a mixture of appropriate actions for a business and employee to thrive. Too much of one thing can quickly overcome a business (or a garden). Be watchful and attentive; but once you have it figured out, watch it grow to an amazing garden/business/employee.

After a while, a flower garden can become overgrown. The gardener then splits up some of the flowers and transplants them in a new flowerbed. In business, that might mean finding a new location, expanding services or adding new employees to further grow the business. Whether you’re an emerging leader, a woman in leadership, or an entrepreneur, embrace becoming a master gardener for your business!

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Volunteering Catapults You & Your Career

Are you stuck in your role at work? Are you missing opportunities to get that promotion? Are you not viewed as a leader yet? Your answer could be as simple as volunteering. Every time I volunteer, it helps me build my network and further my career. It has also made me better and more informed as a leader and community member. Let me share a few examples.

In 1987-1988, a mid-level leader asked me to coach basketball with him, as his daughters were on the team. After declining a couple times, I finally agreed (after someone else encouraged me to do it). Our results with these middle school girls helped change their lives; they won more games during those two years than they ever had in the past. Many of the girls said that winning improved their confidence levels. As for my takeaway, the mid-level leader I coached with became a senior executive a few years later and was a strong supporter of mine during my entire career.

In 1993, a senior executive asked me to help manage the United Way (UW) of Middle Tennessee campaign for our financial services company. This was my first experience working with a national non-profit organization and it was also the first time a campaign had been run at this Company. We accomplished a spike in giving to United Way by our employees and leaders, and they also became involved in additional volunteer opportunities. UW of Middle TN recognized our Company for being an outstanding first time campaign. My takeaway? The senior executive who asked me to run the campaign became one of my biggest and longest supporters in the Company.

In 2000 I lost my battle with ulcerative colitis. I began walking to raise money for the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA). I quickly realized that walking actually helped me feel better physically. I also noticed that as I asked people to donate to CCFA, it gave me the opportunity to refine my message, i.e. “why am I involved in CCFA”. This helped me when I spoke to all size groups. Within a few years, speaking became a strength for me. When I launched my own non-profit and scholarship fund (Can Do 4:13 Scholarship & Mentoring Program), the practice I received with CCFA gave me the confidence to state my goals for Can Do, including why I created the program, and why people should donate. I utilized these same skills as I articulated business plans and marketing strategies as a senior leader in my Company.

Because of my work with CCFA and Can Do, a fast moving leader (who also was a previous boss) asked me to replace him as a Board Member at the Community Foundation of Central Illinois in 2005. This was a huge step for me, as I had never been on a Board. The role had fiduciary responsibility, as well as being more aware of what was going on in the community because we selected grants to distribute. The experience helped me improve my financial business acumen, clarify my values, and refine my message on my passions. Fast forward to 2010; guess who my new boss was? That same leader who recommended me for the Board position.

Volunteering and continually being nudged along by key influencers definitely helped my career. More important than my career, it helped me become a better, more informed and caring woman. So what’s getting in your way of volunteering? Are you a woman in leadership or an emerging leader? If you want to build your network, increase sales or make a difference, pick a volunteer opportunity that you are passionate about, or have a leader/colleague/friend gently nudge you along. It just might catapult you and your career to new heights.