Category: Purposeful

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 211th, 212th & 213th

July 30th Coaching Tip: Your Fans.

Going to the National Senior Games for the very first time in my life (I’m 60 years old, in August turning 61) has been a journey of training and challenging myself…pretty much by myself. Throughout this journey, it’s been pretty darn cool to see who are my fans. Some of my fans are the 100% no brainers, i.e. mom and my besties. But the surprises have been extended family and some remote friends. The common thread in all these supportive people is that they too have a common interest in wellness, staying healthy, traveling and running. Know who your fans are and also be a fan of others. They will never forget when you’re their fan!

July 31st Coaching Tip: Show Up For Life.

As in life, so goes the National Senior Games. Although senior athletes qualified and then registered (paid a registration fee), a number did not show up. For example, in the 100m sprint that I ran today, 19 of the 50 registered runners did not show up. I was proud that I did show up. Today at 8:55am, the weather and track were cooler today versus yesterday’s heat at the Iowa State University Cyclone Sports Complex. I felt great and scoped out my competition, and I could quickly tell that my recent eight to nine weeks of training was going to allow me to sneak up on some people. Indeed, that was the case. Although I was in the first heat, in lane 1 (as the slowest seeded-runner), I was able to finish fourth in my heat and ran my fastest 100m by a second and three seconds faster than I ran my 100m that qualified me in Indiana in June 2024. Thus, I was beyond thrilled to have finished 15th overall out of 30 competitors. I’m happy and also relieved that I did it. Tip for today is a simple but a bold one: show up for life.

August 1st Coaching Tip: Take The Call.

When people need to talk to you, really try hard to take their call. They need something or need someone to talk to. Today, I finally was able to chat with a longtime work colleague and now friend; he is growing his business and wanted to run a few things by me.

I consider it a privilege and an honor if someone is reaching out to me. But I must also be ready to listen and be fully present when we are talking; I would want the exact same thing. Kindness may be an overused word or them in these times of today, but it is truly a gift to give someone time. Take the call.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 208th, 209th and 210th

July 27th Coaching Tip: Make It Work.

We are on our way from Indiana to Des Moines, Iowa, for the 2025 National Senior Games. As we prepared our trip, we really didn’t want to drive 7-8 hours in one day. To make it all work, I reached out to some of my gal pals in Illinois and we gathered for a homemade two-hour dinner at Molly’s home. Little did two of us know that one of our gal pals had some serious info to share with us. She shared some gut-wrenching news, we listened, and that’s what we do as friends: we got thru it all together tonight. We four have been thru the rigors of life these last two decades together of being friends. We’ve lost husbands, homes, and jobs; helped our kids beat addictions and making poor decisions, rebuilt our brands and legacies, finished half marathons, etc.

We made it work today for this quick but important homemade dinner and meaningful conversation; please, make it work. Squeeze in these types of important visits. My partner and I stayed overnight and slept on their couches in their basement. The other two gals said, “wait, wait, tonight was so much fun. We want to do a sleep over soon.” I know you’re all very busy, but make it work.

July 28th Coaching Tip: Heat Dome Dangers.

When there’s a heat dome, hydrate. Whatever amount that you are drinking, keep drinking. This heat dome is scary stuff and it is hitting millions of Americans as we head in to the last week of July. We were driving on the interstate for over 3.5 hours today, and we kept the speed closer to 72mph. Why? To help keep the tires just a lil bit less hot (so that they don’t split or shred) and to keep a very close eye on the road surface itself. We heard that in Peoria, IL, a section of the interstate had “bubbled up” and had created a very unsafe bump on the highway. Imagine hitting that bump doing 85 mph! That could potentially wreck-up your car, then you’re alongside the road in the hot sun with a heat index of 100-110. Another tip is to grab a gallon of water and put it in your car. You just never know when you may need a drink or need to drench your head on days like these. Be aware and be proactive when heat dome dangers are present.

July 29th Coaching Tip: Six Seconds Faster.

My first event today at my first-ever National Senior Games here in Des Moines, Iowa, was the 400m run. My previous times in the 400m at the Indiana Senior Games were 1:47 (June 2024) and 1:43 (June 2025). Today, my goal was to run 1:40; I even dreamed about it. As I lined up today, I got dry mouthed/thirsty and nervous but kept my legs moving. Once the gun went off, the anxiety quickly disappeared as I stood in my starting lane two. My pace was spot on; I finished my first 100m before my count of 18 (which is approx. 25 seconds), so I knew I was off to a good start in this 400m race. Plus, I had already passed someone in the first turn. Then, the second 100m was just fine, and I appreciated the strangers cheering for me along the backstretch. In the third turn, I quit counting and focused on two things: the gal in front of me in lane four and on my running form. I set my eye site on her and got back up “on my tip toes” and started chasing her down as we came down the final stretch. I happily finished third in my heat, with a 1 minute 37.51 second time. I was thrilled to beat my goal of 1:40, and very happy that I finished six seconds faster that I ran at the Indiana Games on June 8, 2025.

How did I do this? Prayer and also practicing differently. The last six weeks, I have been running one-minute sprints, that are a jog for the first 30 seconds, then faster and faster the remaining 30 seconds. I would do this for two minutes, too. Lastly, I worked on my form and improving it. I’m so excited that I went six seconds faster! (Note: showing up, staying in shape, allowing your body to rest, eliminating injuries is a big part of participating. Of the 31 registered runners in the 400m, 18 showed up. I finished 12th!)

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 202nd, 203rd & 204th

July 21st Coaching Tip: Keep Doing It.

During one of my team coaching conversations today, I noticed a common thread that all five team members were mentioning: we are having crucial conversations and it’s working! So, I simply said, after listening to all of their examples for more than 20 minutes, to “keep doing it.”

They had a crucial conversation with a teammate who was way behind on work, and explained how it was impacting clients negatively and which was also leading to questions about his current and future role on the team. They had another key convo about processes that needed to be adhered to, and now they are adhering to their processes better. They even discussed compensation and how to get their thoughts and examples in writing.

Crucial conversations are worth it, if done with proper prep, calm delivery, and transparent thought. Leaders should not shy from having intentional and purposeful convos; these should definitely help the team meet goals, address problems, and help the entire team jump over barriers. Keep doing it, if it’s working.

July 22nd Coaching Tip: Ask For Help.

As co-guardians of my uncle, my mother and I have to stay on the same page with all things pertaining my uncle. It’s our responsibility to do that for his overall well being and financial affairs. We are getting some items more organized and reducing unnecessary clutter, but one small $800 issue has now drug on for the third month. We both were told that we needed to send in a notarized letter with our signature. I don’t have a lot of time to handle items like this during the workday, but when you need something notarized, I asked my lawyer’s assistant and she was very willing to help…and did it. We got it notarized efficiently. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

July 23rd Coaching Tip: Get Your Confidence Back.

In one of my coaching sessions today with two highly accomplished leaders of a team, I let them vent for more than an hour. It went something like this: “Now what do I do? I’ve tried everything. It’s just not working. I’m losing hope. My confidence is waning. Our colleagues are taking advantage of us. And I’m really good at what I do, I just want to be able to go do it.” By the 90th minute, I was ready to wrap up the call and I asked for next steps. Believe it or not, they had none. So together, we worked on next steps. We identified three for them to do; I agreed to sleep on it, and bring in two other colleagues that can give me insights on when they worked with these two leaders in the past.

When your confidence is low, reach up and ask for help. As my mother would say, “if you’re in a hole, quit digging. Put the shovel aside and use it as a ladder to get up and out of the hole.” Proud of these two leaders asking for my help and knowing that they needed help for themselves, and it should also help their entire team. The team is feeling overwhelmed, not saying much in team meetings, and not showing up consistently. It’s going to take some one-on-one conversations and a gathering of multiple inputs, but our goal will be to help them get their confidence back. If your confidence is dropping, change things up and ask for help.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 199th, 200th & 201st

July 18th Coaching Tip: Early Dinner, then Walk.

As we wrapped up the week, we decided to do our early Friday evening dinner. Eating earlier in the evenings and enjoying lighter foods helps us both 1) feel better, 2) sleep more soundly, and 3) spend less money. When we arrived back home, it was only 6:00pm. I headed out on a walk and grabbed my phone to give a call to my mom to check up on her. Why walk after a meal? It’s a new routine/habit that I have implemented after wearing my glucose monitor this past Spring and also learning about ways to help reduce glucose spikes after eating. A stroll of three to five to up to 15 minutes helps me bring the spike back into the normal range. And since I grabbed my phone, I got two things done.

Wellness is more than going to the gym. It’s connecting with those that matter; it’s taking a stroll after eating; it’s winding down with friends on a sunset cruise. My tip for today is eat earlier and eat less, then go on a walk. You never know, you might even begin to notice that you see your neighbors outside more, too.

July 19th Coaching Tip: Laugh Daily.

We all have “stuff” that hits us daily or weekly, at the very least. We make it a point to laugh daily, especially as we are getting older and been together for eight years now. We don’t want to become the crusty, grouchy old people. We want to embrace life and what comes at us, but we also are making the choice to laugh a lot every single day. For example, a couple nights ago, we stayed up until 11pm recapping the day, hysterically laughing about all the stuff that happened. We could have chosen to whine, be upset or even angry, and quietly go to bed. Today, I’ve laughed multiple times watching a funny video that was set up by the Philadelphia Phillies baseball team. Their two mascots went in to the crowd, acted like they were a couple, and then ducked when the “Kiss Cam” got them on camera. It’s now a national meme that the nation is laughing about, as a married CEO was embracing his company’s HR leader at a Coldplay concert in Boston; once they noticed they were on the “kiss cam” they both ducked and turned around. Oops! They got caught which is serious business. But the meme and set up for the Phillies’ mascot was downright hilarious. A must see for your daily laugh!

July 20th Coaching Tip: Two Weeks To Go.

In two weeks, we pack up the car and head to Des Moines, Iowa, for my first-time competing in five events at the National Senior Games. Yes, I’m a bit nervous because I’m doing my research on what it will take to advance in the 100m, 200m and 400m sprints. I’m also realizing that I will need to hit 23/25, 24/25 or possibly 25/25 free throws and more than 9/15 in the 3-point shooting to place in the top three or potentially win the basketball shooting contests.

What am I doing to reduce my nervousness? Prep, just like in my coaching. I’m practicing with more intention and higher demands of myself. I was shooting around 21/25 in my FT’s recently, but the last two days, I hit 23/25. That’s what it will take to medal, and I want to medal. In my running, I’m working on my start, relaxing my face and hands more as I’m “sprinting”, and I’m trying to run faster at the end of the sprint.

I’m not sure how this will all turn out, but in two weeks, I’ll have the results. I’ve put in the work for more than 18 months, and I hope to reward myself for all this practice and prep. Two weeks to go…is not the time to stop. Now is the time to make it ALL count.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 196th, 197th & 198th

July 15th Coaching Tip: Safety First.

Although I wasn’t feeling well on Sunday (a couple days ago), I took the time to really go thru my life and evaluate where I could easily improve some things that might improve my personal safety as I head into August (and turn 61 years old). The first thing I noticed was that my tires on my Tesla had not been rotated for more than 22,000 miles. As the daughter of my father (who owned a tire and battery shop when he was in his 20’s-30’s), this was unacceptable risk. Get the tires rotated, this week. I quickly opened my Tesla app, scheduled an appointment and a technician came to the house and efficiently rotated the tires and checked the tire pressure…all while I was at work. Safety improved and it was easy for me.

I also was noticing that my Apple watch battery was running out of charge between 5-7pm, which is not a good time, as I’m out usually running errands, on a walk, or working out. Laying in bed on Sunday, I ordered a new watch and arranged to trade-in my old watch. The Apple watch is up and running, and the battery is lasting much longer. Trade in’s are in process.

My auto insurance is coming due in mid-August, so I transferred the money to get that paid on time, so there will be no lapse. I don’t want to be in a car wreck, nor do I want to hurt anyone if I cause a car accident. I do however want to ensure that I’m covered, as well as others.

In the last month, we switched our internet provider to save money and get faster speeds. In doing do, I needed to update a few things in the home with the new network. All things are now connected, which includes my ability to lock/unlock my front door, check the CO level, and temperature of the home. Take time to ensure safety is first in your life.

July 16th Coaching Tip: Leadership Styles.

A couple of my coaching conversations today were about leaders who knew that they needed help in how to develop others. I was so pleased they reached out to me for coaching and advice. As we learned more about these leaders, this leadership role was new territory for them. We discussed how they might clarify and role model their preferred leadership style, i.e. what type of leader do they want to be. I asked them some questions: do they want to be a “work hard, play hard” leader, a family-first leader, a results-oriented leader, a magnet for talent leader, a laissez faire type leader, a collaborative leader, etc. As we worked thru these coaching calls, it was clear to them that before they develop others, they needed to work on themselves and role model what they wanted and expected in others. Leadership styles can influence the type of people that might be attracted to your team; it can also drive some people away. It was an important first step in many coaching sessions ahead for them.

July 17th Coaching Tip: Adjustments Are Necessary.

My mother has stated this numerous times: “getting old ain’t for wimps.” She has also stated to young couples: “don’t get old.” Her wisdom is spot on. As my partner and I are aging, we are very in tune with our bodies/exercise/wellness/nutrition/sleep/health. For example, over a year ago I realized that I could simplify my life, improve my health, get the calcium that I need for my osteoporosis if I made my own coffee at home in my trusted 12-cup brew machine, and then add ice and some Fairlife chocolate milk to it. Why the adjustment after five years from what I was drinking every morning (Califia almond milk latte cold brew)? First, Califia was difficult to find consistently in the grocery stores where we live and visit frequently. Second, it contained too much sugar for my liking. Third, it is bottled in plastic. And, fourth, it was approx. $5/bottle. This small adjustment had a multiplying positive effect: less costly, less sugar, easy to make, and readily available (with the Fairlife chocolate milk). My partner today announced a change/adjustment to her morning coffee routine, due to a noticeable change in her body when it is very humid. Due to a leaky valve, she is now going to reduce her caffeine and sugar intake, and make her own decaf coffee, add some of my regular coffee and chocolate milk. This too should help her with her heart health, much like my adjustment should help with my osteoporosis. Stay in tune with your body and make necessary and intentional adjustments for your ongoing wellness.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 187th, 188th and 189th

July 6th Coaching Tip: Weather Smart.

It was 5:47pm, still hot and steamy, so I decided to walk over to get an indoor workout in before heading out for a sunset cruise around 8:30pm. After my workout at 6:30pm, I walked out of the health club and noticed that the weather had changed dramatically. It stopped me, and I turned around and looked west and saw very dark clouds that were spooky looking. In one minute, I made the decision to cancel the sunset boat cruise. We called both of the couples who were going to drive about 1/2 hour to get to us. Sure enough, by 7:15pm the rain, thunder, and lightening started and it didn’t stop for three hours. Be smart. Be weather aware. Take precautions about where you are and where others are. I did NOT want our friends driving in bad weather; I wanted them to remain near or in their own homes, safe and sound. Be weather smart.

NOTE: I am deeply grieving today for the loss of now 81 people due to the flash flooding in the Texas Hill Country. Little girls and their camp counselors were swept away in a flood that raised 30 feet in less than an hour.

July 7th Coaching Tip: Stay Present.

In my last coaching session of the day, I was virtually meeting with a colleague in San Antonio, TX. Instead of jumping right in to “the work stuff”, something told me to slow down and ask the difficult question: “Mike, were you impacted by the flash floods in TX over the weekend?” Yes, he was. He shared with me that he had a friend’s daughter who had died (a camp counselor), a niece who was rescued and he shared what this lil 10-year-old girl witnessed as she was being rescued by a military helicopter. He shared which kids didn’t go to camp this past weekend but were planning to go in a few weeks. I asked a couple questions, so that I could pray for people by name. Mike admitted he was a mess, did not come on the virtual call at first and then later in our conversation he did turn on his video. He thanked me for staying present, asking how he was and grateful that I asked for their names to pray for them. It was the least I could do. Being and staying present is the best gift that one can give to someone else during times like these. Stay present. (Grateful for all those who responded to help with the recovery of this tragic disaster.)

Note: Since my line of coaching work has me coaching colleagues and leaders from all over the country and some from around the world, I make it a priority to be aware of what’s happening in their area and then slowing down to connect with them, instead of jumping right into the work.

July 8th Coaching Tip: Birthday Calls.

It was 8:45am E/7:45am C, and yes, it was time to call one of my gal pals and wish her a happy birthday today. We talked for about 10-15 minutes and are planning to have dinner together later in July. Make the call for birthdays; it’s so easy to just text or send a Facebook message. Phone calls matter today; they send a different vibe, much like a hand-written card or note. Although it takes a few more minutes, relationships matter so make those minutes count. Make birthday calls.

Note: I’m so thankful that my iPhone allows me to put in annual repeating reminders like key birthdays and anniversaries. When I looked at my schedule for today, there was Molly’s birthday at 7:00am. Use technology to intentionally help you stay connected with your favorite people. Friends are good for your overall wellness.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 181st, 182nd and 183rd

June 30th Coaching Tip: Midyear 5R’s.

With it being June 30th, now’s the time to ask yourself and your team some questions. How much time did you take today or will you take (soon) to your reflect on your progress of what you wanted to accomplish in 2025? Who helped you accomplish key priorities? Who have you thanked? Who have you coached and further developed? What goals and priorities came up a bit short during these first six monthly of the year? And what might you continue to excel with during the 2H2025?

Now’s the time to review the first six months of the year by embracing five R words: Reflect. Recognize. Reward. Restart. Recommit.

July 1st Coaching Tip: Be Your Own Advocate.

As a 60-year-old with osteoporosis, I must advocate for myself. What does that mean? My primary care physician nor my endocrinologist did not call me to 1) schedule my annual blood test, 2) schedule an in-office appointment, and 3) schedule my annual infusion. I called them multiple times. My two previous annual injections were done in mid-May 2023 and June 21, 2024, so it’s time…right now. But first, the doc wants to see me and have my blood test results. And I want another bone density test, since it’s been three years (July 2022), to see if the two annual injections actually helped, stabilized or had no impact on my bone density. Advocate for yourself; if you don’t, who will be your wellness advocate? Have the courage to do it yourself.

July 2nd Coaching Tip: Stuff Happens. How do you respond?

How do you respond when “stuff” happens? Today, as I inspected the work on a project, I noticed three things: two were easy decisions, but the third could have been close to catastrophic. Calmly handling all three with good listening skills, I asked more questions to gain agreement on next steps. That allowed us to get all three situations taken care with no drama. The potentially catastrophic issue was actually done by a third party; I slept on it and then felt like they needed to know about it. Drafted an email and sent it to the third party. They responded professionally, didn’t “own it”, but they do now know that something happened. Bottom line, remember that stuff happens. How you respond is crucial; people may judge you during those moments and choose later to be a bit cautious with you. Respond calmly, get buy in, and have a plan.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 175th, 176th and 177th

June 24th Coaching Tip: Review Expenses Quarterly.

Take time quarterly or at least every six months to review all of your expenses. This one habit, done every 90 days, will help you manage your budget and may free up a bit of cash that was once unavailable. For example, I noticed that my ATT internet rate jumped from $50/mo to $70/mo. And another subscription jumped from $10 to $20/mo. As I investigated other options, I realized that I could get 3X’s faster internet service for $50/mo for up to three years AND it lowered my iPhone mobile bill by $10/mo, too. I made the switch over a couple months. Question is: was it worth it? Yes it was. $30/mo is saved over a three year period for my internet and iPhone, and the other subscription will save me $10mo/, which equals $1,440 over three years. Plus, I have much better and faster service.

If you found nearly $1,500 laying on the ground, I’m confident you would quickly grab it. It took a couple phone calls, approx. two hours of my time on these phone calls and then self-installing the new internet. Check those expenses quarterly to understand your budget. It’s like paying yourself.

June 25th Coaching Tip: Embrace Cancellations.

What the heck does embrace cancellations mean? When I have a coaching appointment that postpones or cancels, I embrace that opportunity of 30-60 minutes to get work done that had been getting pushed back. For example, I had a list of over 25 colleagues to reach out to who wanted coaching. Because I had a couple cancellations today, I was able to focus on those 25 people and reach out to them. The targeted effort worked, and many of the 25 responded quickly to set up time in July. Embrace cancellations; it can lead to other opportunities to help and coach others.

June 26th Coaching Tip: Coach or Consult.

There is a clear difference between coaching and consulting. Coaching is viewing your client/colleague as an equal partner, and with the right questions, truly believes that they do have the answers. These answers can many times be brought out of the client by the coach remaining present and curious, asking thoughtful questions. Consulting is listening and learning and then leaning in to giving advice and recommendations. Knowing the difference as a coach is important for me and my clients. Many times during the end of a coaching session, the client will look for reinforcement by asking, “am I on the right track…thinking about my plan correctly?” And then some are more direct, “what advice would you give me?” As a coach, it’s important to remain in the coaching mindset. However, if I do switch to consultant mode, I try to let them know that I’m doing that, by using the phrase, “let me take off my coaching hat and put on my consulting hat.” That slows me down, it also lets them know I’m doing it too. Know the difference between coach and consult mode. (Note: even when people receive advice, they go ahead most times and do what they want or what they are comfortable with. So be wise and infrequent when giving advice.)

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 169th, 170th and 171st

June 18th Coaching Tip: Write.

For years, I wanted to write more. That was my goal, “write more.” Why am I writing more in 2025? Because I have a daily goal of sharing a coaching tip. It’s really that simple. Once I identified a realistic goal of writing a coaching tip daily, that helped me to truly launch my writing. My coaching tip today: write. Write every day, even if it’s like me, a simple paragraph or two.

June 19th Coaching Tip: Keep Writing.

It’s one thing to write for a few days, and in the past, I would take a break. The break could last for weeks or months or even years. What have I done differently this year to keep writing? I have a reminder on my iPhone calendar to write on my JenWilfong.com blog every single day. It’s working; I keep writing and it actually makes it easier now that it’s a daily part of my routine. Keep writing!

June 20th Coaching Tip: Become A Better Writer.

Now that I’m writing and sharing coaching tips daily, I’m aware of how others write even more than ever. I’ve been asking myself what I appreciate about their style, their grammar, their asks, their summaries, their simplicity, their ability to reach all the senses, etc. It’s helping me become a better writer as I read others’ writings. Write, keep writing, and become a better writer. As I am writing more frequently, it’s also helping me with the questions that I ask during my coaching sessions. I’m really focused on simplifying questions, utilizing words that are easily understood, and summarizing with the client as we wrap up the coaching session. Writing is helping me in my daily work responsibilities. Write.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: 160th, 161st and 162nd

June 9th Coaching Tip: Heads Up, Need Your Help.

Wasn’t feeling the best. Gave my colleagues a heads up. They stepped up. Don’t be afraid to wave the white flag every now and then.

June 10th Coaching Tip: Defuse. Pick Your Battles.

Wise elders like grandmothers and grandfathers might say to their family members, “pick your battles” or “don’t die on every hill” or “their problem isn’t your problem”. What does this mean actually? Recently, some of my colleagues were disturbed about the amount of untimely and unnecessary emails and requests. What’s the big deal, it’s just an email, right? Some of them were feeling untrusted and micromanaged, others simply ignored the emails, and then some just did the request and moved right on. Remember, it might just take less time than it would take to complain about something. Sometimes “running up the hill, even slowly” is better than “dying on the hill”. Pick your battles and help others defuse their anger.  

June 11th Coaching Tip: Just Get It Done.

Estimated federal taxes are due June 16th. It’s on my mind, so I just paid them. Who cares really if I paid them a couple days early. It’s now off of my mind; it’s done, and checking things off the list brings satisfaction and relief. Sometimes it is just best to just get it done. I don’t make it a habit of paying bills early, however I do make it a habit of paying them on-time or a day or two prior to help with my trustworthy reputation and also my credit score. With the busy-ness of the end of May and early June this year, I just decided to get those estimated taxes paid and be done with it.