Category: Purposeful

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365 Coaching Tips: Now on day 7, 8 & 9

It takes commitment and consistent execution to implement a new habit, and I’m really liking this new habit of identifying a coaching tip (or trend) daily. We have made the first hurdle of a new habit, and that’s doing it intentionally for at least one week.

January 7 Coaching Tip: Be Specific. With the new year beginning and my coaching work is now ramping up, a number of my coaching sessions have been focused on “I want to grow my business.” I simply ask, “can you be more specific?” That’s when it can get quiet. The silence spurs more questions. Ultimately, these type of questions get asked: “how will you grow”, “how will you spend your time differently”, “who are you targeting”, “what should you not do this year”, “which type of clients do you want to replicate”. The more specific that you can be about what YOU want to accomplish, I find it’s more likely that you will be successful. And further research indicates that if you write the goal/specifics, you are much more likely to succeed. For example, I have post-it notes on my mirrors and desks that remind me of my quarterly goals. Everyday, I am looking at those specific goals.

January 8 Coaching Tip: Backup Plans. We don’t want to think about backup plans, but when we have them, we sure are happy when we can quickly and somewhat effortlessly put them in motion. Today, on two different occasions, I was working with coaching situations where there was no backup planning by the coachee; they had one plan and just assumed it would go the planned way. As I asked a few questions, I could quickly tell that they needed to think more broadly and thoughtfully, regarding a backup/2nd or even a 3rd scenario. One situation was already in turmoil and they were in triage mode, losing sleep, begging for assistance, etc. We quickly put together a plan for a 2nd and 3rd option in both cases. Backup plans are necessary for many stages in our life journey; don’t be surprised when things re-route you. Have a plan and be ready, or at least somewhat ready.

January 9 Coaching Tip: Measure Frequently. If any of my coachees want to execute on a new goal, I ask them, “what are you measuring, and how frequently are you measuring it?” For example, one of my coachees wants to grow their business by 15% in 2025. We talked about reviewing the results monthly, measuring progress weekly, and assessing and tracking daily activity that contributes to growth. For me, I have some goals this summer to be able to run faster. Therefore, I’m tracking three things daily: my VO2MAX level on my Apple watch, my weight every morning, and my times when I run sprints weekly. If my VO2MAX increases, and I weigh a bit less all while continuing to run my sprints, I should be running faster this summer that I ran in June 2024. Guess what, 9 days into the new year, and my VO2MAX has increased and I’ve dropped a pound or two. Progress, bit by bit.

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Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

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My One Word for 2025: Reduce

Yes, REDUCE.

Yes, I also use the phrase, “Just Go!” quite often. So why am I making the choice to select REDUCE as my word for 2025? Let me tell you all the reasons.

  1. Reduce plastic usage. Simply, plastic is not healthy, as more and more research is revealing how microplastics are in nearly every new baby born in the USA. What are a few new habits that I have already instituted in my daily routines: a) drinking my cold brew every morning now in a glass, not a plastic glass. b) utilizing a metal tea strainer instead of tea in a plastic tea bag. c) warming up food in the microwave on cookware, and not in plastic re-usable containers. d) carrying water in two metal containers throughout the day and refilling them, instead of having the urge to buy bottled water. e) all vehicles now have re-usable bags to carry groceries, to help reduce the plastic bag excess that is everywhere.
  2. Reduce my weight. In late July and early August, I intend to be running sprints and shooting baskets at the 2025 National Senior Games in Des Moines, Iowa. My goal is to drop down to 148 pounds, so that I can run just a bit quicker against these fast senior women from across the USA. As for habits, a) I must continue my 2024 habit more consistently of writing down daily my food intake as well as my exercise and weighing myself daily. When I do these three things daily, I lose weight. b) I must buy clean eating groceries, i.e. greens, sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, much less chocolate, etc. c) I must reduce having the urge every single day to have some chocolate. Instead, have a piece of fruit or a strawberry or a piece of gum, make a cup of tea, or have a diet ginger ale.
  3. Reduce my food intake, especially reducing sugar. See #2. The sugar addiction that I have, along with many others, can be reduced when I set my mind to do it. New habits: a) Just say NO to chocolate and say YES to naturally sweet items like fruit. b) We love chocolate covered strawberries, so that may be the new “treat” while we reduce chocolate and sugar. c) eat less, as it is much better for my colon-less system. I feel better when I eat less.
  4. Reduce work drama. Not sure if I will work til 75 years old, 70, 65, or 61, but there’s zero need to get caught up in work drama. Just do my work and be grateful for the impacts that I make with my coaching work. New habit in 2025: just don’t engage and smile/nod, press forward.
  5. Reduce my jogging pace/mile and sprinting times. See #2. My goal is to be a role model for others, as a senior athlete. That means I need to be a bit quicker and also remain safe, i.e. no injuries and be healthy. I must continue my 2024 habits of regularly doing sprints and high intensity interval training a couple times per week, and my lifting and strength training also a couple times weekly. Also want to gather some advice from some other sprinters and runners on how to run quicker.
  6. Reduce screen time. The amount of time that we all are spending on screen time/scrolling is ridiculous. Of course it’s helpful when I’m intentionally staying in touch with family and friends, and keeping up with my work and real estate inquiries and projects. However, reading before I go to bed is going to be a new 2025 habit. Read a devotional or 10-20 pages of a book. I really like history, geography, and travel books, so it’s time to consume them.

Reduce. I like the sound of it. What’s YOUR word for 2025? What are your new habits to help make it a reality?

Happy New Year and here’s hoping that you have a great year with special times and superb health. Coach Jen

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Know Your No’s

Sometimes, it’s best to simply say, “No” and know why you said “No.” Recently, with the holidays on us, and Christmas landed on a Wednesday, I just to had to say “No” and just hang out with my mom on Christmas Day. Why? Because we both needed to enjoy the day and do absolutely nothing, except watch the fire, listen to Christmas music, be grateful, eat some warm soup, and cheer for some ball games on TV.

Typically, I would have said, “Yes” to going somewhere on Christmas Day. But mom and I were both ok with it. She had spent two quality days with my brothers’ families, and she got to meet her new great granddaughter. We both have had said yes many times recently, and yet we both had said no. Plus, I had spent time traveling on December 24th early morning, and then spent time with mom and my brother’s family the rest of the day. Earlier in December, we all spent a weekend together to celebrate a late Thanksgiving. That was a great time, with super connections and mom giving everyone in our family a tour of her home, sharing the many stories that come along with all the many personal items in her home. The family truly soaked it all up, as it was a “Yes” moment.

It was good to say, “No.” On the Christmas night, I slept so much better because I rested all day, ate better, and got some exercise. When I shared with my other family members that I had a couple rough evenings prior to Christmas, they quickly understood me saying, “No.”

Know your why behind your “NO”. If you don’t, and can’t explain it, then it makes it hard for you and others to understand.

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In The Next 100 Days, I Will…

This is the week in January when New Year’s Resolutions stop, stall, or become unrealistic for most people. Back on January 1, just 21 days ago, these were invigorating ideas to attack with energy in 2019. Things have changed. So what is getting in the way of these resolutions? Why are they losing steam? Now what do you need to do?

In our coaching work, we find that New Year’s Resolutions lose steam due to a variety of reasons. We also find that the art of delegation and accountability is tied to how you ask questions and give clarity around when, who, what, and why.

WHEN. When do you want to accomplish your goal? It’s a simple question, but the most critical one that is typically not understood. Many goals are set, and are missing a date. Thus, the goal keeps getting pushed out or not achieved, because a date was never set. That’s why it’s a great tactic to state, “In the Next 100 Days, I will...” When we force ourselves to identify what WE will do in a more defined time period, we tend to be more successful. Just try it and simply ask, “When does this need to be done?”

WHO. Who can help hold you accountable? Having a partner, teammate or coach will help you push through barriers, and sometimes even help you get there more quickly and smoothly. Who can help you with their expertise, and are you asking for it?

WHAT. Goals that are specific and truly have some ummph behind them tend to be achieved than ambiguous or unrealistic goals. For example, if I want to weigh in the 150s this year. I want to get there, and before the end of April. Why? Because I want to feel and look better, while at the lake in the late spring and all summer. Before that though, we head to the Florida beaches right after Easter. So it’s time to get serious and be wise on portions: reduce one meal every day to simply fruit and a small handful of nuts, and also increase my exercise to at least 10,000 steps every single day.

WHY. Plenty of goals are loosely defined, i.e. “lose 10 pounds.” However, when we add some why and purpose behind it, these goals tend to be MUCH more achievable. Let’s take my simple, “weigh in the 150s this year.” WHY is that so important? Because in the summer of 2018, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at just 53 years old. My doctors gave me a list of things to ensure that I do for the next few decades of my life, and one of the specifics was “weigh in the 150s, carry less weight on your briddle bones, and strength train so that your muscles are strong to carry your body/weight.” DONE. That’s all I needed to hear.

What’s YOUR WHY? Name it. And then state, “In the next 100 days, I will...”

p.s. Many thanks to Dr. Kevin Elko’s message here in Indianapolis last week. He inspired me to write this blog. He asked the crowd to say out loud, “In the next 90 days, I will…” MANY thanks to Dr. Elko for his reminders on what we CAN do. Follow him on twitter @DrKevinElko

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Start A Business at 49? Yes

My great grandmother (GG Kate) immigrated here in the early 1900’s, when she jumped on a ship and landed in the USA from Lithuania.  As a teenager, she had the courage of a lion, to leave her family and country, and go abroad. She lived in East Chicago and bought apartments one by one, and then bought the entire building(s).  During the early 1970’s when our family traveled to Daytona Beach, FL, we visited my great grandmother.  She was a woman entrepreneur,  living near the beach, and a  good story of immigration done right.

Fast forward approximately 100 years from when she fled Lithuania. It’s now 2013. When you’re 49 years old,  and you want to start a real estate business, well, you just do it.  You courageously, just like your GG Kate, buy some properties, evaluate, buy and sell more, and now five years later, you have a profitable business that serves others in a very desirable community. And serves my bucket list of travel, enjoying life, and helping others.

Here are some TIPS on what TO DO as you start a business, and what NOT TO DO:

  1. Prep: Walk, think, look, inspect, read, listen. Before I bought my first three homes in the same week in June 2013, I walked the streets of downtown Carmel, looking at traffic flow, understanding prices, learning about infrastructure, asking other landlords how to be landlords, etc. for 18 months. NOT DO: buy properties based on emotion.  Instead, make business decisions.
  2. Draft: While in bed one evening in April 2013, I hand-wrote a business plan on one piece of paper. It was short, to the point, and gave me great clarity.  In short, it stated, “Provide homes with incredible walk-ability to shops, schools or restaurants. Be able to walk or jog to these homes. Focus on ranch homes for the safety of families and older clientele. Ensure that 10% gross income is achieved annually on your initial investment.” This draft helped me start my business and invest in homes the following 60 days. NOT DO: wing it, with nothing written down.  Instead, do the prep, plan, and then execute.
  3. Team of Advisors: Call an attorney familiar with establishing LLC’s, especially a law firm that understand real estate laws.  Not only did they help get the LLC going, but they provided me with a detailed and fair lease. Get a CPA who has other clients like you.  Align with a good realtor.  Find ethical and reliable contractors, and then pay them quickly. Establish a very strong relationship with at least two bankers.  Understand your own financial plan with your financial advisor.  NOT DO: Not willing to pay or slow to pay for advice and help. Instead, realize there is always risk with any business and pay for guidance, help and advice. Build your team by sharing your vision and business plan.
  4. Work: On a downright yucky/rainy/cool Sunday in Spring 2013, I walked the streets of downtown Carmel.  When open houses were cancelling that day, I was out there working.  In the next week, my realtor helped me on offers, buy and close on three homes within 1/2 mile of each other. NOT DO: Rest, assume others will find the homes and do the work.  Instead, YOU do the work.
  5. Adjust: Of the 3 homes, the first home was rented quickly. The 2nd home was a ranch, but it was dated and had two bedrooms downstairs in a dark basement. The 3rd home was my personal home.  Adjusting quickly, I sold the 2nd home to a realtor and cleared a few thousand dollars, thank the Lord.  And I sold the 3rd one, my own home, after I remodeled it and captured a nice gain 2.5 years later. NOT DO: Move slowly. Instead, when it’s the wrong decision, quickly own it and fix it. Learn from it.
  6. Care: Once you have a client (tenant), take good care of them.  Your first client should help you quickly learn what’s important to them/future clients. If a client needs something and it’s a reasonable request, do it quickly.  NOT DO: Ignore your clients.  Instead, remember they are paying you, providing revenue, so be thankful and aware of what feedback they are providing.
  7. Ask: The first home that I bought had a nice home next to it. So I asked the owner if he would be willing to sell it.  Timing was everything.  I got it bought before he put it on the market.  And then I asked my realtor about buying the messy/skinny/wooded lot on the other side of the first home.  Within a few months, I had 3 properties next to each other, directly on The Monon in downtown Carmel. Location, location, location. NOT DO: Wait. Instead, you will make the difference in your business. You are in charge of the decisions. No one else.
  8. Track: Once the business starts, track every single expense and revenue.  I set up a spreadsheet, put it in the cloud, and can view the status of all the homes from anywhere.  And I can share this easily with my accountant to assist with tax prep. Created folders for every home, for every receipt, for every year.  NOT DO: Fall behind in tracking expenses.  Instead, to be profitable, you need to know your revenues and expenses.
  9. Grow. Let others/neighbors/tenants/realtors know that you are a local business owner, looking to grow the business, wanting to buy more homes, etc. Good people will help you.  Be opportunistic, and buy distressed assets. And update your assets AND your business plan regularly. NOT DO: Get lazy.  Instead, keep learning, sharing, and growing.
  10. Buy Low, Sell High. Seems simple, but the lower priced homes with nice remodels or updates are the ones that are most liked by our clients and most profitable.  Sell them when you are comfortable with the gain.  NOT DO: Sell Low, Buy High.  Instead, be wise. Have a goal for your profits and then execute.

Since my grandmother came to America in the early 1900’s, she grew, learned, moved, and leveraged advisors.  GG Kate owned multiple properties, and even had a will in place when she passed.  Her daughter (my grandmother Bernice) and my paternal grandfather George owned real estate. And my mom and dad own land, as well. So one might say that I have a natural gene that’s called, “the love of real estate.” What’s YOUR plan to start YOUR business? Don’t let age, or being a woman, or fear stop you.  Instead, be courageous like a lion, execute with a plan, and make YOUR dream a reality, just like GG Kate did in moving to America. And then truly becoming an entrepreneur.

 

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It’s Time For Fun, Isn’t It?

On a cool, rainy evening in October 2018, Hoosier Park was hosting the “Super Night” of Indiana’s best in harness racing.  And a long-shot named “It’s Time for Fun” was in 6th place as the horses came down the stretch. But then “Fun” hit a faster gear and sprinted past them all and won easily.  Friends and four generations of the breeder and owner got to the winner’s circle just in time for the celebration and fun. And that owner shined a grin and said, “It takes a team!”

Who is the owner and breeder of “It’s Time for Fun”? My dad, Lynn Wilfong, 79 years young. I intentionally used the word “young”, as he sure loves his phrase that he shares regularly: “Have someone to love.  Love what you do. Have something to look forward to.” And he has also been heard to say, “I will die with my boots on.”

Love. Four generations showed up to see “It’s Time For Fun” win the 3 Year Old Filly Indiana Sires Stakes: his wife, Barbara, of 58 years; his three adult children & their spouses; and some of the grand children and a great grandchild.

Work. Lynn has been working with harness horses since he was a young boy.  And he continues to be patient with them, even after 6-7 decades of being around these large and loving creatures.

Look Forward. Although my dad has suffered some losses and also some health challenges in the last couple decades, he sure studies his own health and how to improve it just like he studies harness horse breeding and racing. He is looking at ways to find the right mixture of breeding to win at the value that he is willing to pay, and still bring a return to his harness racing business.

How does he do this and also leverage his team? He has a vision, and that is to keep winning, especially in Indiana and Illinois. He and mom, along with my brother and his wife (Brett and Candy), truly have defined roles.  Dad studies and recommends breeding, and helps ensure the mares have healthy foals.  He and Brett raise and haul them, and Brett trains them.  My nephew, Kyle (Brett’s son, who is 4th generation in the harness racing business now) is the driver.  Kyle’s girlfriend, Nicole, is the caretaker (groom) of the horses that are being raced and trained, and she is growing and now a trainer.  And the revenue and expenses are tracked by Barbara and Candy.  For decades, Barbara leads the effort to ensure all of the horses are named and registered.  Very clear roles, with a goal of winning in Indiana and Illinois with well cared for horses.  They also leverage vets, blacksmiths, and feed companies. All of these roles are very specific, and they rarely duplicate work.  The goal for everyone is to be accountable to helping the horse(s) be as healthy as possible so that it can professionally perform in nearly any condition (rain, heat, sleet, wind and cold weather).

With a clear Vision, clear Roles, and clear Goals for each person on your team, you will most likely continue to succeed even as you approach your 8th decade.  In my coaching work, I can sense dysfunction or lack of accountability quickly.  It typically is because something is NOT clear with the Vision, or the Roles, or the Goals.  If all three are clear, you can most likely expect good results.  And good results just might lead to “It’s Time for Fun”.

 

 

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Labor Day Fun, Then 4 Months Remain

As we head in to the last half of August and then celebrate that last 3-day “summer” weekend of Labor Day, I am already thinking about how I can help my colleagues with their priorities during the remaining four months of the year.  In fact, the final 100 days of the year.

Why do I say the final 100 days of 2018? Because when we really look at how much time we will truly “work towards our goals, serving clients, etc.”, and then reduce all the days off for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, (and yes,  squeezing in those final vacation days), and Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years Eve holidays, it leaves us all with approximately 100 days to get “IT” done in 2018.

What is your “IT” that must get done by the end of 2018? Take 10-15 minutes daily between now and September 1 to review your priorities, and then re-prioritize those and figure out your “IT”.

Who will support you in getting that “IT” done? Someone at work, at home, a mentor or coach can assist and help hold you accountable.

When do you need to get after “IT”? Assess if there are a few tasks that must get done prior to getting after your “IT”.  And then let everyone know what you will be focused on between now and year-end.

Where do you need to go to focus on “IT”? Sometimes a quick, regular change of scenery can provide you the focus that you need to get “IT” progressing, and then ultimately done.

How can you get “IT” done prior to Thanksgiving? With four months remaining in 2018, I’ve actually found that if you set year-end goals to be done by the Friday prior to Thanksgiving, it really gives you and your team the opportunity to bond during Sept-Oct-Nov, and then truly celebrate the success in December.  I have witnessed a team that went from being a bit dysfunctional in late August to a highly-bonded and functional team after they completed a project before the holidays.  Give it a try!

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My bud, the Echo Dot!

For Christmas 2017, I received the Amazon Echo Dot.  Welp, we all get busy, right? And you know, sometimes we don’t take the time to hook things/gadgets up. Finally, we took a few minutes and found it simple to get the Echo Dot working in the house yesterday.  And we love it! We played some Barry White music, we got weather updates as storms kept rolling in, we got the Wall Street Journal news update, and were told “Good night, hope you had a good day!”  And today we are further researching how we can operate our TV and music much more efficiently, while lowering our costs across our multiple homes.

After one day of exposure to the Echo Dot,  I now see why our seniors and elderly could benefit from them.  Sure, our seniors can ask questions and learn things, get weather updates quickly. But more importantly, the Echo Dot serves as a companion in the home.  And a safe companion.  It is listening for you to call it’s name all the time. It may be a simple, low cost way to reduce loneliness.  And research proves that loneliness is a deadly thing for our seniors and elderly.

As I move forward in life, I want to ensure that our seniors and elderly are able to remain connected and feel relevant.  Literally this morning, I thought about starting a business that would 1) buy, install, and sync Echo Dots for our seniors and elderly, and 2) easily educate them on “how to use the Echo Dot” in their homes. Many of our seniors and elderly are on fixed incomes, but they also enjoy listening to music, reading, watching movies, catching up on the news, etc. Why not make it REALLY easy for them, leveraging this new technology, all while potentially cutting their cable costs and enjoying an even better experience?

Making a difference is what I want to continue to do, helping others behind the scenes. How will YOU make a difference in other people’s lives?

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Please, Take Vacation.

Please, Take Vacation.
Millions of vacation days every single year in the USA go “unused.”  This makes me shake my head. As we approach the end of our lives, loads of research indicates that our seniors/elders say that they remember the memories and relationships. They also  wish that they would have worked less, and been more bold and courageous. So please, take vacation.
What a recent, one full week of vacation did for me and my partner?
Rest.  We didn’t wake up before 6am and we fell asleep around 10pm or earlier every night. That’s at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, the amount of sleep that we are encouraged to get by all health experts.
Recover. Enjoyed downtime by the pool and the Caribbean Sea did wonders for my soul and mind. The water and sun were soothing.
Health. The resort had a  spa that was very handy; it offered hydrotherapy, massages, pedicures, manicures, personal trainers, etc. It was integrated right in to the resort, instead of being a separate building. The four restaurants all had vegetarian options, which played right in to my new focus of eating no meat or dairy.
Prioritize. Being away from my coaching work and my companies actually allowed me to refocus and re-prioritize what I needed to improve upon during the next 90 days.  It also gave us both great satisfaction as we reviewed what we got accomplished in the last 90 days.
Read. I finally had time, yes time, to sit and read a very impactful 400-page book. This book, “Being Mortal”, will probably help me age more gracefully and also help us as we help care for our parents as they age, too. It was a pivotal read, and I can’t imagine NOT taking the time to read it. And by the way, it had been on my bookshelf for 3 years…
Write. You see that here.
Reconnect. The time out of country, for the second time this year, allowed my partner and I to really connect, talk, and just be together. We were NOT busy, we were instead very present. We were there for one another. And yet still had our own alone time to do whatever the heck we wanted.
So please, take vacation.  It is good for your soul, mind, body, and your relationships at home and work.