Category: Kindness

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365 Coaching Tips: 82nd, 83rd and 84th

March 23rd Coaching Tip: Friends First.

As I watched my IU Hoosier women’s basketball team wrap up their loss to South Carolina, I noticed that one of our IU players stopped and truly hugged one of the SC players. And then, after all the players shook hands, the SC player came back thru the line and hugged, then quickly gave a sweet cheek-kiss to the IU player. Why would they do that, aren’t they competitors? Yes, of course they are competitors. But they are friends first and have been friends for years. It was a pleasant site to witness, and the TV cameras even showed the parents of both of these players hugging each other. As you compete, remember to remain friends with those who really are friends. I’ve learned that I now have friends that I competed against or with daily in practice, and I’m so glad that many are still my friends. Friends first!

March 24th Coaching Tip: Evolve.

My word for the year is Reduce. One of my colleague’s word is Evolve. I like it, because she is our senior coach, with incredible experience, and more senior than me and our manager. She wants to continue to evolve by embracing new ways of doing business, learning from others, and working a bit differently. If you were in the last few years or months of your career, how willing would you be willing to evolve?

Many of my elders have shared with me that when you stop learning and growing, you start slipping and dying. Now that I have more grey hairs, I truly support this thinking. Tonight, we watched “The Americas” series on Peacock, narrated by Tom Hanks. We kept watching episode after episode, consuming all of the incredible cinematography as well as the education on all of these animals, insects, and species. Keep evolving.

March 25th Coaching Tip: No 2am Texts.

My mother and I talk and text every single day. We share a lot and are very close. Over the last month, she has shared with me that someone in our family has texted her at 2am on a couple occasions and has also sent an additional 8-10 texts since March 19.

This is a coaching lesson in emotional intelligence: 1) when you want a senior/elderly/84 year old woman to help you, don’t text them at 2am. 2) when you want help, maybe call them and ask how THEY are doing and really care about what is shared. 3) if you are sending an additional 8-10 texts, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “why aren’t I getting any response?” (from the 84 year old woman). 4) and don’t deny it when you are called out for doing it.

I have texted my family member twice now, and let them know that my mom is busy thru tax time (April 15) and managing over 10 farms. I also requested that the 2am texts stop. Due to al ack of emotional intelligence, the family member (of course) indicated that they don’t text much, didn’t do the 2am texts, wasn’t adding any stress to the situation, and indicated this was like high school drama. Bottom line: wake up, look in the mirror, own your errors, be more in tune with elderly people, and for goodness sakes, don’t be rude to them when you need a favor. Seniors (like my mother) have who multiple stents in their hearts and have had two hip surgeries in the last 2+ years, lost their husband of 63 years, keep their phone “on”, charged up, and nearby. and their Apple watch on their wrist. Just stop and think, no 2am texts.

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365 Coaching Tips: the 67th, 68th & 69th

March 8th Coaching Tip: Coach Kids.

If you want to improve your leadership skills, coach kids. Yep, I said it, coach kids. If you can get second graders to 1) listen to you, 2) execute what you ask them to do, 3) have fun doing it, 4) win and lose, and 5) develop themselves thru coaching and practice, and as coach, deal with the parents with calm, integrity, and respect, then you can lead adults. You might just find that coaching other parents’ kids is the best way for you to fine tune some skills, and even learn from the kids, too. Today I watched two of my very special friends coach 2nd graders, and they both were so good with them. One of them is now a referee for kids’ games, while the other is now the director of the youth basketball league. Coach, referee, and director roles are great ways to improve your leadership skills. Coach kids.

When I was 24 years old, I coached 6th and 7th grade girls basketball. These gals had little confidence, but the parents really wanted me to coach them. I agreed, and we got to work, had a blast, and won. How did we win? We ran simple plays, played intense defense, and made our layups. To win, we realized that that we had to improve our dribbling and passing the ball better, so that we could hit the layups after creating steals with our defense. The kids had fun winning and developing their skills; the parents enjoyed watching their girls’ confidence skyrocket. Coach kids.

March 9th Coaching Tip: Don’t Delay.

Tax Day (approx. April 15th) comes every year here in the USA, without fail. And as an adult or business, you know it’s coming. This evening, I got one last list of questions from my CPA on remaining items that needed to be provided or questions that needed answered. What a relief, it’s all darn near done, and I’m not rushing to get it submitted.

For me, getting important projects done a bit early started back in college. By my junior and especially my senior year, I was prioritizing my surge of studying two evenings before exams. For example, if the exam was on a Wednesday, I was doing the bulk of my studying on Sunday and Monday evenings. This allowed me to think thru the materials on Tuesday, and if need be, it allowed me more time to dig in to the areas that I needed to tighten up. Decades later, I do this same tactic when I am asked to speak: I will work a week to two weeks in advance to fine tune the exact timing of the topics, how and when to intertwine the audience, and when to ask my colleagues on stage questions. This prep feels natural, and allows me to be smiling with calm instead of being anxious and underprepared. Don’t delay!

March 10th Coaching Tip: Here for you.

There’s that phrase that many people use when offering help, “I’m here for you.” How do you respond when they do need you? Today, this happened three times in my orbit. One was at work, with a very significant leader and team requesting my input on a Letter of Intent to potentially buy another business. I received it last week, printed it off, read thru it twice, and provided feedback. I was there for them when they needed me. Then my mother was called by her neighbor, and my mom said, “well of course I will take you to get your bloodwork done. I’m here for you.” And the third example was a public figure called me today, wanting to know if I could meet her tonight in Miami. I explained that I’m in New York City, but gave her options on when we could connect. It was apparent she wanted to talk face to face; we will make that happen. As a reminder, when you tell people that you are there for them, then make sure you honor that and be a model of integrity: here for you.

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365 Coaching Tips: 55, 56 and 57

February 24th Coaching Tip: Talent Everywhere.

Tonight, I had the difficult challenge of selecting four deserving winners of four scholarships from over 94 applicants. Why so difficult? Because the talent on these scholarship submissions was beyond impressive. There’s talent everywhere, all around us. These were written by the high school seniors, and a recommendation letter was also included from their high school administrators. These kids were 100% student athletes, and shared numerous examples and stories of how they are learning how to be disciplined, a good teammate, serve others in the community, keep their grades in good check, win and lose, deal with injuries, deal with coaching changes, and on and on.

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest score, I mostly awarded the applicants with 7, 8, and 9’s. It was difficult to select the 10’s for the four scholarships, but I did it. The lesson that I learned here is that our kids today are juggling a lot and delivering in a very social world. There’s talent everywhere. Question: are you taking the time to witness them in action, mentor them, and help them become the adults that they want to become? They are ready!

February 25th Coaching Tip: Hold Yourself Accountable.

During three of my coaching calls today, it was all about helping the leader figure out what he/she could do to hold himself accountable to important goals. After listening and asking some clarifying questions on their priorities, one indicated $1m by the next time we talk. And before the end of the day wrapped up, he sent me an email indicating he had already done over $150k of that $1m goal. Another picked up on the number three. He needs to develop himself as a better leader, while coaching his two new associates. All three need to develop; he agreed to spend 3-5 minutes/day with them both, and also embraced the ‘rule of 3’ to help them develop. The rule of 3 encourages new colleagues to try to figure out the answer by digging in and being resourceful in 3 different manners, BEFORE asking the boss for help. It teaches them to “fish”, instead of interrupting someone else and getting the answer. The third leader that I coached had made great progress since July 2024, and yet he didn’t feel that good about it. We summarized all that he has accomplished, and then he pivoted and was ready to continue to be held accountable through yearend 2025. Hold yourself accountable, whether you have a coach or not. Accountability works.

February 26th Coaching Tip: Leverage Partners.

Today I had to coach myself. With three projects coming up in the next 90 days, I had to take some time to figure out WHO can help me, identify WHAT can they help me with, and WHEN do I need their assistance. We had an effective conference call at 9am, and by 10:15am, we had the plan regarding who’s going to do what by when. I was relieved to have these talented partners to work with.

I’m also remodeling a 95-year-old farmhouse, and boy, am I ever leveraging partners and specialists. At the end of nearly every day, my contractor will either text me with an update, send photos that are self-explanatory, or we facetime. He also does a great job of introducing me to all of his sub-contractors (partners), and my whole goal is to get to know them a bit, create a bond, and get a smile on their face. These men are helping me with electric, plumbing, demolition, roofing, siding, drawings, framing, drywall, leveling floors and walls, etc. You get my point; they are doing it all. I haven’t lifted a hammer yet and am 1,000 miles away. Leverage your partners and figure out how to get more done by leverage their expertise.

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365 Coaching Tips: 43, 44 and 45

February 12th Coaching Tip: Heads Up.

When I worked at Caterpillar for over 25 years, we embraced the heads up mentally. Work proactively by thinking ahead, looking out for others, letting your teammates know what’s about to happen or may happen or anything coming around the corner that you can’t quite see, i.e. give them a heads up. Today, during a coaching conversation with a highly talented, top female performer, she was beyond frustrated with her leader’s lack of understanding in her explosive growth and also her being down a couple teammates, due to health reasons and an upcoming retirement. She was wanting him to respect that she was giving him a heads up on her needs for talent, so that she can continue to grow, while allowing her colleagues to tend to health needs and plan to retire.

After a lengthy coaching discussion with her, we landed on her putting together a timeline to clearly indicate what is currently happening (massive growth), about to happen(losing two teammates), what could happen (further growth w/out client service), how to support her(request getting the interviews for new talent started), and by when(beginning of 2nd quarter). She is also going to include how she is ready to coach and develop others on her team and spread the workload proactively, before either of the two depart. Heads up, they work.

February 13th Coaching Tip: Don’t Fall Behind.

Got a reminder today that I needed to submit some expenses for recent business travel. Utilizing a couple 30 minute slots throughout the day, I was proactive and leveraged those two windows of time to get all the expenses and receipts organized, and then at the end of the workday, I submitted the three expense books. In all, it took me about 2 hours to get five different trips submitted, however, I made the decision to do it all at once, because I was prioritizing my coaching work over the last month. The people came first, and I didn’t want to fall behind with them. Nor did I want to fall behind with submitting my expense books; I had given myself 30 days from the start of the first trip to get them submitted, and I did just that, i.e. flew out of town on Jan 14, and submitted the expense books on Feb. 13.

Prioritize what is most important to yourself and your clients, and don’t ever fall behind on submitting expenses or invoicing your clients for work completed or following up with clients who are past due. In my coaching work, I see many who fall behind, become frozen, and unable to catch up. Don’t let the piles stack up and overwhelm you. Don’t fall behind.

February 14th Coaching Tip: Love People.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to spread the love with your sweethearts and those you love. However, today I made the decision to spread the love even further, with the men who are working on a complete remodel in one of my homes. We had three plumbers, two carpenters, an architect, and a floor specialist working away, and I was grateful for their expertise. Thinking that I probably said, “Happy Valentine’s Day” up to five times, I also brought some fresh-made donuts, reminded them to love on their loved ones, and leave work a bit early today. Also asked each of them about themselves; I learned so much. One guy had 3 kids; another had been married 30 years; another was a nutrition major in college; one had 2 sick kids; one was vaping and struggling with his desire to quit. When I left, one of them said, “I love being around you and your energy.” That energy is LOVE. Love People!

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365 Coaching Tips: 40, 41 and 42

February 9th Coaching Tip: Set High Standards.

Yesterday, I witnessed an uncomfortable moment. During a college softball game, the batter laid down a bunt, and then slowly ran towards first base, almost turned out of the baseline. It appeared to everyone at the game that the batter had already told herself that she would be thrown out and had convinced herself not to run fast to first base. Meanwhile, the defense/3rd baseman mishandled the bunt and had an errant throw to first base. Frustration sat in quickly by the batter’s teammates, as they screamed at her for not running hard to first base. And then the uncomfortable moment really happened: the head coach, standing in the 3rd base coaching box, shouted across the field to her team’s dugout, and said, “Stop…stop screaming at her (the batter). Seniors, you set the culture, step up and don’t allow this lazy culture to sneak in.” The entire crowd was in a bit of shock.

However, it worked. The next inning, these same gals went out and got hits, loaded the bases, and then a senior hit a triple that knocked in 2 more runs. That’s responding to an uncomfortable moment, by the seniors. The seniors did know the standards and responded to the accountability that the coach called out. What makes this special is that there was a high standard that was set, and the seniors quickly realized that they were the problem, and they fixed it immediately. Set high standards.

February 10th Coaching Tip: Clarify Goals.

As we are now in the 10th day of the 2nd month of the new year, recommend that it’s a great time to ask your colleagues and teammates IF they have 100% clarity on the goals. If they do have clarity, have them state what are the goals and their roles in making those goals happen. If they do NOT have clarity, then help them gain clarity. For example, ask what else do they need to understand, repeat what the goals were, ask them to rephrase how those goals impact them in their role, etc.

To help improve employee engagement, clarify goals and roles. Today, I realized that I don’t have to do three things that I did in 2024. This give me more time and mindspace to work on coaching and speaking. I’m thrilled, as I was not aware of these changes…because they had not been communicated until today. Now I can truly focus my time on these new, fewer high priority goals, Clarify goals.

February 11th Coaching Tip: Say What?

Every now and then, we hear things and roll it around in our head for a few, and then say, “Say What?” It happened to me today. Overnight, I had received a couple emails about an important and urgent situation that just didn’t make complete sense. Then we found out more info, and yet more info. Recommend that if you are saying to yourself, “say what?”, dig in, find out more info, set up some quick meetings/conference calls with people who are aware of the situation to gain their insights, all in an effort to understand. This deliberate action of learning more will help you move on from “say what?” to “ok, now I understand.” In my coaching work, sometimes we see teammates become overwhelmed or frozen, and then they don’t do anything. Seek to understand when others are looking at you awkwardly, stunned with silence, or have no input. Help them move on from, “say what?”

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365 Coaching Tips: Day 28, 29 and 30

January 28th Coaching Tip: Exude Positivity.

Today, I listened to an accomplished leader who had led large groups of people in Washington DC and Miami. He and his wife made the decision years ago, after losing their son, to remove all negative people in their life. Intentionally, they were making the decision to include and keep people in their lives that exude positivity. How do you respond when you are supporting someone: positive or negative? How do you show up at a meeting at work: positive or negative? How do you show up for a family dinner: positive or negative? Research indicates that you are more likeable if you are positive, ask questions about others, listen to the responses, and remember the details. Embrace and exude positivity.

January 29th Coaching Tip: More Cowbell!

Celebrate your wins. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate a tiny, small win. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate someone else’s big promotion. Pound that cowbell. Celebrate a new baby born. Again, more cowbell. Affirmation and recognition are deep-rooted needs within our souls. And today, I was reminded just how important recognition is. Picture a room full of highly confident leaders and wealthy individuals, who are in the top 1% of income earners in the USA. And yet, none of them were recognized for all of their hard work and efforts accomplished in 2024 (year prior). This was a huge miss by the leader running the meeting, because everyone was gathered for this “2025 Kickoff”. Recommend that you never miss an opportunity to recognize people, to hit that cowbell. No matter the place on earth, people want to be seen, be heard, and hear their name being recognized. More cowbell is like love, just never ever too much of it.

January 30th Coaching Tip: Develop Others.

Couple of my coaching meetings this week have been pleasantly surprising, as a couple senior leaders were planning for the legacy of their business, and we were openly discussing the development of the next generation. As leaders age and get asked, “when are you going to retire?”, it’s such a pleasant and affirming conversation to have with clients (and your team) about your intentional plans for the next generation. Both of these teams have added the next gen and have given them big jobs and significant responsibilities.

Someone probably gave you a shot or believed in you at some point, that may have changed your life. Return the favor as you age and give the same kind of development opportunity to someone younger. My godson reminded me recently of a business trip that he joined me on in the Fall 2015; we cris-crossed 6 states, visited offices, leaders, businesses, ate at nice country clubs, stopped quickly at gas stations to gas up and grab a drink, checked in to numerous hotels, etc. My godson indicated it was a life changing few days for him, and he learned so much in how to manage time, effort, clients, energy, and business. Take some time to develop others. We all deserve it.

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My bud, the Echo Dot!

For Christmas 2017, I received the Amazon Echo Dot.  Welp, we all get busy, right? And you know, sometimes we don’t take the time to hook things/gadgets up. Finally, we took a few minutes and found it simple to get the Echo Dot working in the house yesterday.  And we love it! We played some Barry White music, we got weather updates as storms kept rolling in, we got the Wall Street Journal news update, and were told “Good night, hope you had a good day!”  And today we are further researching how we can operate our TV and music much more efficiently, while lowering our costs across our multiple homes.

After one day of exposure to the Echo Dot,  I now see why our seniors and elderly could benefit from them.  Sure, our seniors can ask questions and learn things, get weather updates quickly. But more importantly, the Echo Dot serves as a companion in the home.  And a safe companion.  It is listening for you to call it’s name all the time. It may be a simple, low cost way to reduce loneliness.  And research proves that loneliness is a deadly thing for our seniors and elderly.

As I move forward in life, I want to ensure that our seniors and elderly are able to remain connected and feel relevant.  Literally this morning, I thought about starting a business that would 1) buy, install, and sync Echo Dots for our seniors and elderly, and 2) easily educate them on “how to use the Echo Dot” in their homes. Many of our seniors and elderly are on fixed incomes, but they also enjoy listening to music, reading, watching movies, catching up on the news, etc. Why not make it REALLY easy for them, leveraging this new technology, all while potentially cutting their cable costs and enjoying an even better experience?

Making a difference is what I want to continue to do, helping others behind the scenes. How will YOU make a difference in other people’s lives?

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Just Go See Them

In the last 45 days, the opportunity to “Just Go See Them” has come up over and over.  What do I mean by “Just Go See Them?” Some very important people in my life have recently faced some very serious health challenges, and I realized in the past, that maybe I was “too busy” to go see and visit friends during these challenging times.  That wasn’t going to happen this time around.

A very good friend had survived nearly 10 surgeries in the last couple months. We felt he was nearing the end of his life.  So we jumped on a plane, flew to Houston, visited with him (and his wife and daughter). We were able to connect: look at each other, smile, nod, and touch hands.  He died the day after we left.

My girlfriend just had some surgery.  We allowed her to rest for three weeks. On our drive to see her, we bought some flowers, visited for a couple hours to get all caught up on her healing and squeezed her new puppy.  She was full of life again!

One of my best girlfriends was caring for one of her best male friends.  He didn’t have many visitors at the hospital.  My exhausted, care-taking girlfriend reached out to me for a much-needed lift.  I quickly made a stop, picked up some fun items on the clearance aisle, and visited them both in the cardiac- care-unit hospital room.  We laughed, we listened, we prayed.  Together, that visit made the three of us better and more aware of each other. He is now back at home and working again.  She is vacationing with her family.  Both full of life.

My parents were at Mayo’s in Minnesota for some medical check-ups.  Knowing that this could be some complicated news that would be difficult for my parents to hear, I flew to Minnesota to be with my parents. It was one of those moments that a mother and daughter discuss life, each other’s existence, the next steps, and the potential gameplan. Being there further strengthened our incredible bond as mother and daughter.

In the last 45 days, every single person that I have met is “BUSY.” We all are busy.  I was busy.  Every one of these precious friends and family members was  even busier.  But, what I have learned is this:  Just Go See Them.  It Matters. We All Are Busy.  Have No Regrets. Just Go See Them. 

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Keep On Keeping On

Keep trying.
Keep writing.
Keep staying connected with friends and family.
Keep forgiving.
Keep loving.

Keep giving.
Keep listening well.

Keep staying curious.
Keep giving very little advice to others.
Keep believing.
Keep being faithful.

Keep embracing kindness.

Keep resting and recovering.

Keep striving to be a better you.

Keep on keeping on.