Author: Jen Wilfong

Jen Wilfong Lake Worth Beach, FL Carmel, IN
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365 Coaching Tips: the 67th, 68th & 69th

March 8th Coaching Tip: Coach Kids.

If you want to improve your leadership skills, coach kids. Yep, I said it, coach kids. If you can get second graders to 1) listen to you, 2) execute what you ask them to do, 3) have fun doing it, 4) win and lose, 5) develop themselves thru coaching and practice, and 6) deal with the second graders’ parents with calm, integrity, and respect, then you can lead adults. You might just find that coaching other parents’ kids is the best way for you to fine tune some leadership skills and even learn from the kids, too. Today I watched two of my very special friends coach second graders, and they both were so good with them. One of them is a referee for kids’ games, while the other is now the director of a youth basketball league. Coach, referee, and director roles are great ways to improve your leadership skills.

When I was 24 years old, I coached sixth and seventh grade girls basketball. These gals had little confidence, but the parents really wanted me to coach them. I agreed, and we got to work, had a blast, and won. How did we win? We ran simple plays, played intense defense, and made our layups. To win, we realized that that we had to improve our dribbling and passing the ball better, so that we could hit the layups after creating steals with our impressive defense. The kids had fun winning and developing their skills; the parents enjoyed watching their girls’ confidence skyrocket. Coach kids.

March 9th Coaching Tip: Don’t Delay.

Tax Day (approx. April 15th) comes every year here in the USA, without fail. And as an adult and as a business owner, you know it’s coming. This evening, I got one last list of questions from my CPA on remaining items that needed to be answered. What a relief, it’s all darn near done, and I’m not rushing to get it submitted.

For me, getting important projects done a bit early started back in college. By my junior and especially my senior year, I was prioritizing my surge of studying two evenings before exams. For example, if the exam was on a Wednesday, I was doing the bulk of my studying on Sunday and Monday evenings. This allowed me to think thru the materials on Tuesday, and if need be, it allowed me more time to dig in to the areas that I needed to tighten up. It also allowed me to rest and have a clear mind. Decades later, I do this same tactic when I am asked to speak: I will work one to two weeks in advance to fine tune the exact timing of the topics, how and when to intertwine the audience, and when to ask my colleagues on stage questions. This prep feels natural and allows me to be smiling with calm instead of being anxious and underprepared. Don’t delay!

March 10th Coaching Tip: Here for you.

There’s that phrase that many people use when offering help, “I’m here for you.” How do you respond when they do need you? Today, this happened three times in my orbit. One was at work, with a very significant leader and her team was requesting my input on a Letter of Intent to potentially buy another business. I received it(the draft LOI) last week, printed it off, read thru it twice, and provided feedback. I was there for them when they needed me. Then my mother was called by her neighbor, and my mom said, “well of course I will take you to get your bloodwork done. I’m here for you.” And the third example was a public figure. She called me today, wanting to know if I could meet her tonight in Miami. I explained that I’m in New York City, but I gave her options on when we could connect. It was apparent she wanted to talk privately about something very important, and do it face to face; we will make that happen. As a reminder, when you tell people that you are there for them, then make sure you honor that and be a model of integrity: here for you.

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365 Coaching Tips: 64, 65 & 66

March 5th Coaching Tip: Step Up.

In a couple of my coaching conversations today, the advisors that were leading their teams were frustrated with the lack of consistent, high-level execution by their teammates. As I listened to them, it was clear to me that it was time to have the discussion, “step up or step out” with these underperforming teammates. However, as I drove home, it got me thinking, “what has the leader done to help them execute better? how are these leaders coaching and developing their teammates? what would the teammate say about the leaders and do the leaders give clear and fair instructions to complete tasks?” Both the leader and the teammates need to step up. If, and only if, after all the coaching and developing has been done, then it may be time for the teammate to “step out” and find a better role or fit elsewhere.

March 6th Coaching Tip: Remain Curious.

As we were driving to the airport this evening, we looked out the window to the south and there was something we had never seen before. It looked like a drone with lights was falling and spinning a bit out of control. We just couldn’t figure it out. Once I got to the airport, I started reading online to see if anyone else noticed it or even recorded it. Sure enough, within a few minutes, figured it out: the SpaceX Starship had a fiery breakup, after launching from TX and flying over the Gulf. This is the second explosion in the last two launches. Thank goodness there were no humans on board.

For all of us, remain curious if you see something different or out of the ordinary. This applies to darn near everything in your life…including the engineers at SpaceX. I’m sure they are now very curious about why their efforts failed two times in a row. And it applies to your life, your personal safety, your kids, your home. Remain curious.

March 7th Coaching Tip: Keep it close.

You can’t win everything and always be atop the leaderboard on everything. With life comes losses. With life comes challenges. With life comes new or younger talent. If you can’t win, keep it close. My beloved Indiana University women’s basketball team really gave an outstanding team effort against the Univ. of Southern California team the second-round game of the Big Ten tournament. USC had much more talent than IU, but the IU women never gave up, kept up their intensity high until the end, and only lost by five points.

With basketball or business, it’s challenging. Be ready, as someone or some other company or team is always after you/your business. It might be developing a better product, selling something at a lower price, advertising more, etc. It maybe new, younger and quicker talent on the court; or more mature players who can execute under pressure. Bottom line, it’s hard to win at everything, all the time. If you do lose, do it with class: learn from it, evaluate your next steps, and keep it close. Always.

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365 Coaching Tips: 61, 62 and 63

March 2nd Coaching Tip: REST.

REST. I learned that acronym from a four-star general who spoke to leaders at Caterpillar over 15 years ago. And here we are 15 years later, and I can easily recall the essence of his message: take time to Read relevant and timely information, ensure you get your Exercise (150 minutes/week), get enough Sleep (7-8 hours), and Take Time To Think.

This general reinforced that the easy decisions are already made at an individual, lower or intermediate level. The decisions that get to you as a high-level leader or business owner are more significant and difficult; it’s imperative that you have time to think clearly about important decisions and all the potential and unintended consequences. REST, because it matters to your results, personally and professionally.

March 3rd Coaching Tip: Draft It Up.

Today was my third coaching conversation with a future leader, and he has big plans for his current team, his succession plan, and the future growth opportunities that actually made him giddy with excitement. He had been talking a lot about it, quickly, and excitedly, but he wasn’t clearly articulating it. In our 2nd conversation, his homework was to draft/sketch what was in his head and put it on “paper”.

I was so proud of him today; prior to our meeting time, he emailed me his draft plan, and it was simple with just 4 pages. He had already used this draft with the local management team; he had talked to his current team, and now ready to share the draft with others, too. As we both spent 70 minutes really digging into it today, we further improved his draft and added a few more details. He also agreed to keep it updated, adding a date on each version so that he can keep track of the progress and plans, and be able to share the history with anyone who may join the team. Draft it up, it will help bring clarity to you … and others.

March 4th Coaching Tip: Time is Money.

Got up early today, drove to Coral Gables, FL to meet a colleague so that we could coach a number of leaders and advisors. We were there, on time, and ready to roll. The admin team had sent out the emails and reminders and ordered a lovely lunch. However, the office manager/leaders had NOT done the appropriate prep, didn’t have enough appointments set up for us, thus, it was an average day of efficiency. Actually, it was below average. For an upcoming two-day trip to New York City with this same admin team, you bet that I will be confirming the appointments on my schedule BEFORE we leave, so that others understand how valuable my time is. My schedule should be filled with high priority clients who want coaching and improvement. My time is valuable, business travel is difficult, and time is money.

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365 Coaching Tips: Here’s 58, 59 and 60

February 27th Coaching Tip: Do Due Diligence.

Today, I met a leader who has the opportunity to buy a business. As I asked him questions, he indicated that it’s a smaller business and about 1.5 hours away. The one employee isn’t very happy and feels overworked and the current owner is ready to check out and be done. As I listened, the leader then pivoted into the true details: what is he buying? what is in the business? what can he eliminate with minimum effort? how old are the assets and clients? how much potential is in the current business? what can he grow quickly to produce a higher gross margin? does he have other team members that can take care of this small business, so that the leader can be free to deal with bigger clients and deals? By the end of the conversation, he had a gameplan. He realized that he needed to drive to visit this small business owner in three days and start digging into what he is potentially buying.

When you’re buying a business, many larger companies take at least 100 days to complete the due diligence, and that’s after signing an LOI (letter of intent). Make sure that you do your due diligence.

February 28th Coaching Tip: Need Ya!

Coached a leader today with a highly talented team of 20 people. This leader had alot going on, like a lot! For example, his wife was on the west coast with her mom because of her mother’s transition to hospice. The leader was now taking care of three kids, and he needed to travel for business to Florida. Then, his middle child was admitted into the ER, so he had to ask his 14-year-old son to take care of their youngest child overnight and also get them both to school on a Friday. I was proud of him, as we figured out a way to get him more help over the next three weeks. He called his mother, and said, “Mom, I need ya!” He then made a plan to talk to key members of his team and his executive assistant to also tell them, “I need ya.” It will be two to three weeks of asking others to help and they will step up. Don’t be afraid to say “Need Ya” when you truly have a lot going on and need help.

March 1st Coaching Tip: Help Out!

Just the opposite of the post above (Need Ya) is the offer to quickly help out. By asking some simple questions or reading an invite/email/text, you can really figure out how to help out quickly. Today we are having a block party, and my neighbors are helping arrange it. While on my walk today, they asked me if we are going; I said yes. Then I came back to our house, re-read the block party invite, and noticed that they were requesting neighbors to bring paper plates, napkins, and silverware an hour early. This made it simple for me: open up the cabinets, see what I have that is still packaged up. I will now bring napkins, paper plates and some plasticware. A popular quote is, “look for the helpers, look who is helping.” Don’t overcomplicate things; ask a question or read something quickly, and you can figure out how to “Help Out”.

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365 Coaching Tips: 55, 56 and 57

February 24th Coaching Tip: Talent Everywhere.

Tonight, I had the difficult challenge of selecting four deserving winners of four scholarships from over 94 applicants. Why so difficult? Because the talent on these scholarship submissions was beyond impressive. There’s talent everywhere, it’s all around us. These were written by the high school seniors, and a recommendation letter was also included from their high school administrators. These kids were 100% student athletes, and shared numerous examples and stories of how they are learning how to: be disciplined, be a good teammate, serve others in the community, keep their grades in good check, win and lose, deal with injuries, deal with coaching changes, and on and on.

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest score, I mostly awarded the applicants with 7, 8, and 9’s. It was difficult to select the 10’s for the four scholarships, but I did it. The lesson that I learned here is that our kids today are juggling a lot and delivering in a very social world. There’s talent everywhere. Question: are you taking the time to witness them in action, mentoring them, and helping them become the adults that they want to become? They are ready!

February 25th Coaching Tip: Hold Yourself Accountable.

During three of my coaching calls today, it was all about helping the leader figure out what he/she could do to hold himself accountable to important goals. After listening and asking some clarifying questions on their priorities, one indicated that he wanted to add $1million in new money from clients by the next time we talk. And before the end of the day wrapped up, he sent me an email indicating he had already done over $150k of that $1m goal. Another picked up on the number three. He needs to develop himself as a better leader, while coaching his two new associates. All three need to develop; he agreed to spend three to five minutes/day with them both. He embraced the ‘rule of three’ to help them develop. The rule of three encourages new colleagues to try to figure out the answers to questions or problems that they are facing, by digging in and being resourceful in three different manners. They must do this BEFORE asking the boss for help. It teaches them to “fish” and be resourceful, instead of interrupting someone else and getting the answer quickly. The third leader that I coached had made great progress since July 2024, and yet he didn’t feel that good about it. We summarized all that he has accomplished, and then he pivoted and was ready to continue to be held accountable through yearend 2025. Hold yourself accountable, whether you have a coach or not. Accountability works.

February 26th Coaching Tip: Leverage Partners.

Today I had to coach myself. With three projects coming up in the next 90 days, I had to take some time to figure out WHO can help me, identify WHAT can they help me with, and WHEN do I need their assistance. We had an effective conference call at 9am, and by 10:15am, we had the plan regarding who’s going to do what by when. I was relieved to have these talented partners to work with.

I’m also remodeling a 95-year-old farmhouse, and boy, am I ever leveraging partners and specialists. At the end of nearly every day, my contractor will either text me with an update, send photos that are self-explanatory, or we facetime. He also does a great job of introducing me to all of his sub-contractors (partners), and my whole goal is to get to know them a bit, create a bond, and get a smile on their face. These men are helping me with electric, plumbing, demolition, roofing, siding, drawings, framing, drywall, leveling floors and walls, etc. You get my point; they are doing it all. I haven’t lifted a hammer yet and am 1,000 miles away keeping this project progressing. Leverage your partners and figure out how to get more done by leveraging their expertise.

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365 Coaching Tips: here’s to 52, 53 and 54

February 21st Coaching Tip: Recovery.

Some days, we just need some time to recover. After having two consecutive nights of less sleep than what I like to get, I decided to “recover” today. My exercise today included just one-mile of fast walking; I took a nap in the late afternoon by the pool and finished the evening with three short strolls before laying it down early. Even with my work today, I took a few less coaching calls, and I didn’t jam in things today due to my focus on my priority: recovery. I was still productive and ate balanced, just made the decision to turn down the dial a bit and recover. Prioritize yourself: you are your most valuable asset. Allow for time to recover. Your overall wellness depends on it.

February 22nd Coaching Tip: Text Real Quick.

If you’re trying to get ahold of someone, give them a quick text and simply ask, “are you free for 10 minutes?” or “is this a good time?” or “when do you have a solid 20-30 minutes? Need to run something by you.” Research indicates that a high percentage of our texts get answered in seven minutes or less. Seven minutes. If you want to connect with someone, give them a text, arrange a time, and then be ready to share your idea/question when you do get that time scheduled. It doesn’t work for everything or everyone, but for many, simply text real quick to get connected.

February 23rd Coaching Tip: Sunday Funday.

Sometimes, one just needs a beach chair and a sunset. And that’s exactly what we did today. We took it easy, enjoyed some “church time” at home, watched and listened to some relaxing geography and animal shows, did our workouts, ate well and prepped some meals for the week. But quiet time and the beauty of southwest coast of FL were calling our names. We threw a couple beach chairs in the car, grabbed a couple sweatshirts and some water, then drove to the beach. Heck, we even squeezed our convertible into a partial parking spot, and it worked. We just sat there for an hour and simply enjoyed all that the good Lord created. It was a wonderful way to end our Sunday Funday.

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365 Coaching Tips: 49th, 50th and 51st Tips

February 18th Coaching Tip: Own it.

Today during a coaching conversation with a couple men who are buying a business, they were a bit hesitant in working proactively with the current business owner. They hadn’t done the due diligence required to buy a business and they lacked a process for introducing themselves to the current business owner’s clients. They had no plan. After listening for a while, I leveraged an example from outside the industry, i.e. buying 25 car washes in a different state that we had never seen. They quickly knew what to do: fly to that state, rent a car, inspect all 25 car washes regarding all of their locations, better understand the real estate values, inspect the overall care of the car wash, interview key employees, evaluate how good is the drainage, how old/new is the car wash equipment, and on and on. Then I pivoted them. I asked, “You’re about to buy a business. Act like you own it. What do you want to know about it, similar our car wash quick exercise?” And they got it. They quickly realized that they didn’t know what they were truly buying and they weren’t acting like the new owners. Own it!

February 19th Coaching Tip: Been There.

We all have been on the job the very first day. All of us, every single one of us. Tonight, we walked to dinner and had a new waiter. He was pleasant and greeted us nicely, and of course, struggled answering some basic questions: “what’s the soup of the day? is the calamari fried or not?” We could tell he was new, and we smiled and said we understood. He quickly went back to the kitchen, got the answers, wrote them on his order pad, and came back to the table with the answers. We ordered the soup of the day and the fried calamari. He checked on us without being too nosey, refilled our drinks, and shared with us the gelato flavors. Of course, we ordered the mango sorbet. It was yummy, he was pleasant and learning quickly. We’ve all been there. Be kind; help a guy out on their first day at their new job.

February 20th Coaching Tip: Void? Lead.

When there’s a void, step up and lead. I saw it today in two of my coaching conversations. A team with five “leaders” and three “staffers” had explosive growth in 2024. They are on track to do the same thing again in 2025. However, they all were complaining about their workload, lack of capacity and accountability, shocked by what their “staffers” told them recently about fairness, etc. It was quite clear to me after listening to the five “leaders” share their insights, that they were most likely the bulk of the problem. No one was truly stepping up to lead. There was lack of clarity in compensation, roles, expectations, how to hold the “staffers” accountable and how to communicate with their leaders. There was limited to zero coaching or development of their best and their worst performing “staffers.”

Another example was in my own work. I was given the opportunity to present a quick summary to my boss about a complete plan to support a growing part of our business. In one page, I laid out the short-term plan with the resources needed and the budget. She read it and quickly approved it. Bottom line: when there’s a void, step up and lead. People want to be lead with simplicity, clarity and fairness.

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365 Coaching Tips: 46, 47 and 48

February 15th Coaching Tip: Squeeze It In.

Today was a day with a full list, but I was operating on less than five hours of sleep. Instead of having an intense workout, I chose instead to squeeze in my workout throughout my day. For an hour, I organized and moved some furniture around in our small condo, went on a walk to check the boat dock and to take the trash to the dumpster. Then during a college basketball game, I did my 3 sets of squats, crunches, pushups and lunges during the game’s timeouts. During halftime of the game, I went on a 12-minute walk. Then, 10 minutes before my mom arrived, I knocked on my neighbor’s door to get caught up with them and also carried a bag of snow melt for them to use for their steps and sidewalk, since a storm is on its way. Squeeze it in; you can do so many things that keep you motivated, organized, and purposeful.

February 16th Coaching Tip: Reward Them.

It’s 9am on a winter morning and I hear a few knocks at my front door, after a late night of freezing rain and 2-3″ of snow. The two 14-year-old boys are standing there at my front step with their new snow shovels. One of the boys asks, “can we shovel your driveway and sidewalk?” I almost said no, but then I thought for a quick second: here are some kids that want some spending money and are working early on a Sunday morning. “Yes, you can shovel my sidewalk and all around my mom’s car in the driveway.” The two got to work, and even their nine-year-old brother had a shovel and he was competitive and shoveling just as fast as the older kids. When they knocked on the door for their $20, I went out and inspected their work. Good work, but gave them some tips on ensuring that their shoveling resulted in straighter lines. Also asked them to use a broom to knock the snow off of mom’s car. We then talked about all the businesses that they could start, and by simply looking around us, we saw a fencing business, car detailing business, painting business, landscape and snow removal businesses, etc. It was fun for me watching their creativity blossom about potential business opportunities. Reward the ones who show up early and are ready to go to work. Reward them!

February 17th Coaching Tip: Safety First.

Overnight, we had freezing rain and then it snowed 2-3 inches. The wind was blowing 15-20mph all day, and it was below 30 degrees. Getting my mom safely to her car was a top priority; we warmed up her car, defrosted the windows, put some snow melt down to help ensure there was no icy surface. We left plenty early to get to my brother’s home and visit w/ the family, have lunch, and see the two new babies. We were able to drive slowly and safely and embrace the “defensive driving” lesson we all learned in driver’s training. When we got to see the babies, we washed our hands before holding them, again, to be safe and keep them healthy. On the way home, I helped mom by leading the way as she followed behind. As she went north and I proceeded south and got home sooner, I utilized the “find my” App on my iPhone to keep track of her progress. We all had a safe day, because we had a safety-first mindset. It’s worth it; take your time, prep, and think about others. Safety first.

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365 Coaching Tips: 43, 44 and 45

February 12th Coaching Tip: Heads Up.

When I worked at Caterpillar for nearly 25 years, we embraced the heads up mentally. Work proactively by thinking ahead, looking out for others, letting your teammates know what’s about to happen or may happen or anything coming around the corner that you can’t quite see, i.e. we regularly called it, “giving them a heads up”. Today, during a coaching conversation with a highly talented, top female performer, she was beyond frustrated with her leader’s lack of understanding in her explosive growth and also her being down a couple teammates, due to health reasons and an upcoming retirement. She was wanting him to respect that she was giving him a heads up on her needs for talent, so that she can continue to grow, while also allowing her colleagues to tend to health needs and plan to retire.

After a lengthy coaching discussion with her, we landed on her putting together a timeline to clearly indicate what is currently happening (massive growth), about to happen (losing two teammates), what could happen (further growth without client service), recommendations on how the leader could support her (request getting the interviews for new talent get started soon), and by when (beginning of the second quarter). She is also going to include how she is ready to coach and develop others on her team and spread the workload proactively, before either of the two depart. Giving leaders a heads-up work effectively.

February 13th Coaching Tip: Don’t Fall Behind.

Got a reminder today that I needed to submit some expenses for recent business travel. Utilizing a couple 30-minute slots throughout the day, I was proactive and leveraged those two windows of time to get all the expenses and receipts organized. By the end of the workday, I submitted the three expense books. In all, it took me about 2 hours to get five different trips submitted, however, I made the decision to do it all in one day, because I had been prioritizing my coaching work over the last month. The people came first, and I didn’t want to fall behind with them. Nor did I want to fall behind with submitting my expense books; I had given myself 30 days from the start of the first trip to get them submitted, and I did just that, i.e. flew out of town on Jan 14, and submitted the expense books on Feb. 13.

Prioritize what is most important to yourself and your clients, and don’t ever fall behind on submitting expenses or invoicing your clients for work completed or following up with clients who are past due. In my coaching work, I see many who fall behind, become frozen, and unable to catch up. Don’t let the piles stack up and overwhelm you. Don’t fall behind.

February 14th Coaching Tip: Love People.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to spread the love with your sweethearts and those you love. However, today I made the decision to spread the love even further, with the men who are working on a complete remodel in one of my homes. We had three plumbers, two carpenters, an architect, and a floor specialist working effectively and efficiently. I was grateful for their expertise. Pretty sure that as I greeted them all, I probably said, “Happy Valentine’s Day” up to five times. I also brought some fresh-made donuts, reminded them to love on their loved ones, and to leave work a bit early today. Also asked each of them about themselves; I learned so much. One guy had three kids; another had been married 30 years; another was a nutrition major in college; one had two kids who both were sick right now; one was vaping and struggling with his desire to quit. When I left, one of them said, “I love being around you and your energy.” That energy is LOVE. Love People!

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365 Coaching Tips: 40, 41 and 42

February 9th Coaching Tip: Set High Standards.

Yesterday, I witnessed an uncomfortable and public leadership moment. During a college softball game, the batter laid down a bunt, then slowly ran towards first base. She almost turned out of the baseline. It appeared to everyone at the game that the batter had already told herself that she would be thrown out and had convinced herself not to run fast to first base. She had assumed a negative result.

Meanwhile, the defensive third baseman mishandled the bunt and had an errant throw to first base. Frustration sat in quickly by the batter’s teammates, as they screamed at her for not running hard to first base. And then the uncomfortable moment really happened: the head coach, standing in the 3rd base coaching box, shouted across the field to her team’s dugout, and said, “Stop…stop screaming at her (the batter). Seniors, you set the culture; step up and don’t allow this lazy culture to sneak in.” The entire crowd was in a bit of shock.

However, it worked. The next inning, these same gals went out and got hits, loaded the bases, and then a senior hit a triple that knocked in two more runs. The head coach set the tone, and those seniors responded to the uncomfortable moment of being called out publicly by the coach. The seniors knew the standards of the team’s culture and responded quickly to the accountability that the coach expected. What makes this special is that there was a high standard that was set, the seniors quickly realized that they were the problem, and they fixed it immediately. Set high standards.

February 10th Coaching Tip: Clarify Goals.

As we are now in the 10th day of the second month of the new year, recommend that it’s a great time to ask your colleagues and teammates IF they have 100% clarity on the priorities and goals for the upcoming quarter, midyear, and year. If they do have clarity, have them state what are the goals and their roles in making those goals happen. If they do NOT have clarity, then help them gain clarity. For example, ask what else do they need to understand, repeat what the priorities and goals are and explain why, ask them to rephrase how those goals impact them in their role, etc.

To help improve employee engagement, clarify priorities, goals and roles. Today, I realized that I don’t have to do three things that I did in 2024. This gives me more time and mind space to work on coaching and speaking. I’m thrilled, as I was not aware of these changes…because they had not been communicated until today. Now I can truly focus my time on these new, more meaningful, and fewer high priority goals. Clarify goals.

February 11th Coaching Tip: Seek To Understand

Every now and then, we hear things and roll it around in our head for a few moments, and then say, “Say What?” It happened to me today. Overnight, I had received a couple emails about an important and urgent situation that just didn’t make complete sense. Then we found out more info, and then even more info rolled in. If you are saying to yourself, “say what?”, trust your gut feeling and take time to dig in, find out more info, set up some quick meetings/conference calls with people who are aware of the situation to gain their insights, all in an effort to understand. This deliberate action of learning more will help you move on from “say what?” to “ok, now I understand.” In my coaching work, sometimes we see teammates become overwhelmed or frozen, and then they don’t do anything. Seek to understand when others are looking at you awkwardly, stunned with silence, or have no input. Help them move on from by seeking to understand.