Tag: Intentional

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: Day 28, 29 and 30

January 28th Coaching Tip: Exude Positivity.

Today, I listened to an accomplished leader who had led large groups of people in Washington DC and Miami. He and his wife made the decision years ago, after losing their son, to remove all negative people in their life. Intentionally, they were making the decision to include and keep people in their lives that exude positivity. How do you respond when you are supporting someone: positive or negative? How do you show up at a meeting at work: positive or negative? How do you show up for a family dinner: positive or negative? Research indicates that you are more likeable if you are positive, ask questions about others, listen to the responses, and remember the details. Embrace and exude positivity.

January 29th Coaching Tip: More Cowbell!

Celebrate your wins. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate a tiny, small win. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate someone else’s big promotion. Pound that cowbell. Celebrate a new baby born. Again, more cowbell. Affirmation and recognition are deep-rooted needs within our souls. And today, I was reminded just how important recognition is. Picture a room full of highly confident leaders and wealthy individuals, who are in the top 1% of income earners in the USA. And yet, none of them were recognized for all of their hard work and efforts accomplished in 2024 (year prior). This was a huge miss by the leader running the meeting, because everyone was gathered for this “2025 Kickoff”. Recommend that you never miss an opportunity to recognize people, to hit that cowbell. No matter the place on earth, people want to be seen, be heard, and hear their name being recognized. More cowbell is like love, just never ever too much of it.

January 30th Coaching Tip: Develop Others.

Couple of my coaching meetings this week have been pleasantly surprising, as a couple senior leaders were planning for the legacy of their business, and we were openly discussing the development of the next generation. As leaders age and get asked, “when are you going to retire?”, it’s such a pleasant and affirming conversation to have with clients (and your team) about your intentional plans for the next generation. Both of these teams have added the next gen and have given them big jobs and significant responsibilities.

Someone probably gave you a shot or believed in you at some point, that may have changed your life. Return the favor as you age and give the same kind of development opportunity to someone younger. My godson reminded me recently of a business trip that he joined me on in the Fall 2015; we cris-crossed 6 states, visited offices, leaders, businesses, ate at nice country clubs, stopped quickly at gas stations to gas up and grab a drink, checked in to numerous hotels, etc. My godson indicated it was a life changing few days for him, and he learned so much in how to manage time, effort, clients, energy, and business. Take some time to develop others. We all deserve it.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: Here’s to 25, 26 and 27

January 25th Coaching Tip: Leadership Matters.

In many of my coaching sessions lately, leaders are frustrated with employees and teammates who leave their teams, and some of these leaders also claim that there’s no talent out there to replace them. As we dig into what happened and what drove the teammate to depart the team, rarely does the leader indicate that it was him/her. It’s usually something like the teammate left for more money, they had a baby, they are relocating, they, they, they. It’s my responsibility, as a coach, to ask compelling questions. For example, “what did you learn from this? what do you own in this? how were you developing this teammate? how are you attracting talent to be ready for teammate exits? ”

Leadership is hard, Leadership really matters to those who follow you. I’d encourage you to ask the questions: How are you investing in yourself, especially if you lead others? What are you reading, and then implementing? Who is a leader that is mentoring you or could mentor you? Are you a good boss, and how do you know that you’re a good boss? Are you easy to follow? Do you truly connect with your teammates? Do you micromanage or coach, develop and empower?” Leadership matters, and if you master it, teammates will stay and be loyal.

January 26th Coaching Tip: Fundamentals Matter.

Today I watched a college basketball team come back, score 5 points in the last 23 seconds, and win a game on the road in a loud environment. I also watched a team lose the game, who gave up 5 points in the last 23 seconds. This losing team had a lack of clarity on clock management, who should be fouled and when, who should not be left open, who to throw the ball to, how to score with less than 5 seconds in the game and down by 1 point. Whether it is basketball or going to a networking event or driving a car, execute on fundamentals. Networking event: set a goal of meeting new people, ask questions and truly listen, then remember it is not about how much food you can eat. Driving a car: drive defensively, stay to the right if you’re going slower, look left then right and then left again before proceeding thru a stop sign or green light. Fundamentals matter. By not looking left to see oncoming traffic before proceeding into an intersection can potentially kill you. Contrast that with taking 1-2 seconds and clearly knowing that no one is coming at you.

January 27th Coaching Tip: Stay Sharp.

Today, the stock market was impacted by one announcement in the artificial intelligence (AI) space. According to news reports, one company lost over $600 billion in value in one day. By the next day, $200 billion had already been reinvested back into this company. With these type of swings, some may say to just ignore it, keep your head in the sand, etc. However, recommend that you stay somewhat aware, stay sharp on what’s happening around you and what’s impacting the business world. Why? As we age, it’s common for me to hear our seniors say, “I’m a dinosaur. I’m not very techy.” Dinosaurs died and are gone. Tech is here and not going away. Stay relevant, embrace what is happening in the world around you. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything, but be aware and stay sharp. In your kitchen, dull knives need sharpened from time to time…or they just stay dull and go unused. Keep ’em sharp!

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: Day 22, 23 and 24

January 22nd Coaching Tip: Be Seen.

As I was watching a leader today, the day after a 3-day weekend, I noticed how she intentionally walked thru the office area and said hello, stopped and truly talked to her colleagues. They actually stood up and talked to her, shared what they did during their long weekend; smiles and laughs were present. Whether you’re a leader or a colleague, ask people about themselves and their lives. They appreciate being “seen”. As I watched the leader step away, a couple people said, “thank you for talking to us…it shows us that you care.”

January 23rd Coaching Tip: Be Heard.

Received an urgent Skype message today, i.e. “we need to get some time with you today to discuss an important situation.” This team is one who came to me 6 months ago and really shared their WHY and WHAT they want to accomplish. Thus, when they needed time today, we squeezed it in from 4-430pm on a Zoom. Indeed, it was important; they want to promote one of their colleagues and they wanted to practice and run-through the new role and gain clarity for her. After 25 minutes of listening to them and asking questions, they had the role clarified, were smiling, and a bit relieved as we wrapped up the call. If someone needs time with you, consider it a gift. They need someone to be “present”, and the best gift that you can give them is your “presence.” Let me them be heard, to help increase their confidence.

January 24th Coaching Tip: Be Efficient.

As a week winds down, it’s a common tendency to have the mindset of “let’s push it to early next week.” In my coaching work, I actually find that I can get a lot done before 10am on Friday mornings and also between 2-5pm. For example, I was able to squeeze in three, quick, efficient coaching sessions today. In a matter of 15-33 minutes, I was able to help all three situations.

Everyone is busy. Who has ever approached you in the last few years and said, “hey…I just don’t have enough to do” ? Like, let’s get real, no one. In being efficient today, I found that telling all three of them yes, I had a few minutes, we immediately became efficient with our time. They truly felt not only seen but heard, and realized I was ready to potentially help them thru their coaching situation. The greatest gift you can give to someone is your time, i.e. being present. And then when you can help them work thru a situation or two, and they can sleep better over the weekend, you have truly added value. Be efficient, and others will likely mirror your behavior, and be efficient, too.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: the 13th, 14th and 15th Days

January 13th Coaching Tip: Family Talks. In our coaching work, we help our colleagues/coachees as they prep for crucial conversations. In Kerry Patterson’s book, “Crucial Conversations,” most of these crucial convos don’t even happen, and then when they do, they don’t go well. Thus, we as coaches help our colleagues practice these important convos. Today, a husband and wife indicated that they want to bring on at least one of their two sons into their business. And yet, they had nothing in writing, nothing that either of them could confidently replicate with clarity. The husband and wife soon realized that they weren’t even on the same page. The mother wanted the son(s) to be “hungry” and the father wanted to be more “helpful” to his son(s). Thus, I encouraged them to get on the same page, draft it up, and then have a family talk with both sons, so that both sons heard the same message. Then, if either son wants to enter the business in the future and they discuss the opportunity further, the four of them would potentially have a more solid foundation. Remember, have those crucial family talks.

January 14th Coaching Tip: Plan Ahead. Whether its travel for work or vacation downtime, or getting groceries for a Sunday brunch planned with friends, or an early morning Uber ride to the airport, plan ahead. This week I’ll be in a number of hotels, crossing multiple state lines, and in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Thus, I planned ahead by truly looking at the map, understanding drive times and locations, and knowing when I need to be where. Thinking about my personal routines, I even bought my cold brew the night before, and got up this morning and was rollin’ with my favorite coffee while reading my devotionals. This allowed me to get ready and arrive to an unfamiliar office 20 minutes in advance (instead of rushing in to a coffee shop, and then being dissatisfied with my java). Knowing that I could walk to this office in just 2-3 minutes from the hotel that I picked (so that I wouldn’t even have to get in the car and drive/commute), I got my morning routine, breakfast, and workday started as normalized as I possibly could have done. Folks, plan ahead to help reduce stress and you’ll be surprised how much it increases your efficiency.

January 15th Coaching Tip: Stop Burnout. Start saying “no” to certain things and start saying “yes” to yourself. Today, I coached two teams who were “burned out, bored, (not thriving).” After listening to what was going on, they shared that they have too many clients, and many of those clients don’t pay them or are so simple and could be served by someone else more effectively and happily. Gently, we all looked at one another after I had them repeat what they said, “we have too many clients who consume our time and don’t pay us (much).” In my coaching work, we remind our coachees that it is YOUR business. You make the decisions. You select your clients. You can say “yes,” and you can also say, “no”. My recommendation is for you to clearly identify WHO you want to serve and then stick to it. Serve clients that make you smile, that you truly want to help, that take your advice/pay for your expertise, and you both grow from helping each other. Say YES to the right clients, and that will help reduce burnout.

Posted on

365 Coaching Tips: Let’s Get Started

In mid-November 2024, I decided to set my goals for 2025. One of the 10 most important goals was to “blog regularly (daily and weekly) about relevant topics and my coaching work.” Setting the goals, then putting them in motion before the end of 2024 allowed me to get rolling along. Must admit, I’m proud of my progress as we all launch into 2025.

So, let’s get started.

January 1 Coaching Tip: Pick one word. One word that YOU can leverage throughout the year, that will empower you, motivate you, slow you down, or speed you up, or help you make decisions. As shared in my January 1, 2025 post, my one word for 2025 is REDUCE. (see it for more on why the word REDUCE)

January 2 Coaching Tip: Explain why. If you want something done or need to delegate or have to reschedule, quickly explain why and/or what’s going on. Most and nearly all humans with a heart (and a brain, with some type of empathy) will understand, and be flexible. Already in the new year, I found myself having to change a few appointments, and when I quickly shared that my 84-year-old mother wanted to have lunch with her three adult kids, everyone I spoke to quickly realized, “moms win!”

January 3 Coaching Tip: Find your best times. Find your best times to work, when you’re really uninterrupted and in flow; when your body thrives on exercise; when you need some downtime. In wearing my Oura ring now for nearly 5 years, my most active time is around 9:00am E, and my best work is done in the morning, right after my important, quiet time reading my devotionals while enjoying my cold brew(s).

One of my priorities in 2025 is to share what I learn in my coaching, to help you in your leadership, life, parenting, family, etc. journey. Let’s keep these coaching tips rolling all year long. Hold me accountable.

Posted on

Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

Posted on

Keep Moving.

Keep Moving.  It’s a healthy thing to do considering the amount of time we are sitting.  But, HOW do I squeeze that in during my busy days and evenings?

Have a walking meeting with a colleague at work (instead of sitting in an office or conference room).

Meet a friend and go for a walk (instead of sitting for a cup of coffee or dinner).

When going to the store or work, park away from the front door or elevator (instead of squeezing into to a close spot, and getting a door ding).

After dinner at home, slide those walking shoes on for a 15 minute walk or jump on the bike for a quick spin of the neighborhood (instead of sliding in to your recliner).

Walk the dog, or the neighbor’s dog, or pet sit.  Dogs will get you up regularly and look forward to walks & being with their humans in nature.

When waiting in the airport, simply go for a couple strolls up and down the concourse (instead of sitting in the uncomfortable and hard seats at the gate).

When in an elevator by yourself, do some toe raises.  Or better yet, take the stairs if they are well lit and provide a sense of safety (instead of just standing).

During the ads on TV shows, stand up. Do a few squats. Squeeze in 10 push-ups (instead of just sitting).

Blue Zones research indicates that people who move naturally live longer.  I am trying to find ways to move naturally during moments throughout the day. What will inspire you to do the same thing?

Posted on

Please, Take Vacation.

Please, Take Vacation.
Millions of vacation days every single year in the USA go “unused.”  This makes me shake my head. As we approach the end of our lives, loads of research indicates that our seniors/elders say that they remember the memories and relationships. They also  wish that they would have worked less, and been more bold and courageous. So please, take vacation.
What a recent, one full week of vacation did for me and my partner?
Rest.  We didn’t wake up before 6am and we fell asleep around 10pm or earlier every night. That’s at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, the amount of sleep that we are encouraged to get by all health experts.
Recover. Enjoyed downtime by the pool and the Caribbean Sea did wonders for my soul and mind. The water and sun were soothing.
Health. The resort had a  spa that was very handy; it offered hydrotherapy, massages, pedicures, manicures, personal trainers, etc. It was integrated right in to the resort, instead of being a separate building. The four restaurants all had vegetarian options, which played right in to my new focus of eating no meat or dairy.
Prioritize. Being away from my coaching work and my companies actually allowed me to refocus and re-prioritize what I needed to improve upon during the next 90 days.  It also gave us both great satisfaction as we reviewed what we got accomplished in the last 90 days.
Read. I finally had time, yes time, to sit and read a very impactful 400-page book. This book, “Being Mortal”, will probably help me age more gracefully and also help us as we help care for our parents as they age, too. It was a pivotal read, and I can’t imagine NOT taking the time to read it. And by the way, it had been on my bookshelf for 3 years…
Write. You see that here.
Reconnect. The time out of country, for the second time this year, allowed my partner and I to really connect, talk, and just be together. We were NOT busy, we were instead very present. We were there for one another. And yet still had our own alone time to do whatever the heck we wanted.
So please, take vacation.  It is good for your soul, mind, body, and your relationships at home and work.
Posted on

Just Go See Them

In the last 45 days, the opportunity to “Just Go See Them” has come up over and over.  What do I mean by “Just Go See Them?” Some very important people in my life have recently faced some very serious health challenges, and I realized in the past, that maybe I was “too busy” to go see and visit friends during these challenging times.  That wasn’t going to happen this time around.

A very good friend had survived nearly 10 surgeries in the last couple months. We felt he was nearing the end of his life.  So we jumped on a plane, flew to Houston, visited with him (and his wife and daughter). We were able to connect: look at each other, smile, nod, and touch hands.  He died the day after we left.

My girlfriend just had some surgery.  We allowed her to rest for three weeks. On our drive to see her, we bought some flowers, visited for a couple hours to get all caught up on her healing and squeezed her new puppy.  She was full of life again!

One of my best girlfriends was caring for one of her best male friends.  He didn’t have many visitors at the hospital.  My exhausted, care-taking girlfriend reached out to me for a much-needed lift.  I quickly made a stop, picked up some fun items on the clearance aisle, and visited them both in the cardiac- care-unit hospital room.  We laughed, we listened, we prayed.  Together, that visit made the three of us better and more aware of each other. He is now back at home and working again.  She is vacationing with her family.  Both full of life.

My parents were at Mayo’s in Minnesota for some medical check-ups.  Knowing that this could be some complicated news that would be difficult for my parents to hear, I flew to Minnesota to be with my parents. It was one of those moments that a mother and daughter discuss life, each other’s existence, the next steps, and the potential gameplan. Being there further strengthened our incredible bond as mother and daughter.

In the last 45 days, every single person that I have met is “BUSY.” We all are busy.  I was busy.  Every one of these precious friends and family members was  even busier.  But, what I have learned is this:  Just Go See Them.  It Matters. We All Are Busy.  Have No Regrets. Just Go See Them. 

Posted on

Keep On Keeping On

Keep trying.
Keep writing.
Keep staying connected with friends and family.
Keep forgiving.
Keep loving.

Keep giving.
Keep listening well.

Keep staying curious.
Keep giving very little advice to others.
Keep believing.
Keep being faithful.

Keep embracing kindness.

Keep resting and recovering.

Keep striving to be a better you.

Keep on keeping on.