365 Coaching Tips: 112, 113 and 114

April 22nd Coaching Tip: Leaders Want Coaching.

This evening after work, I talked to three good, long-term friends who are making huge decisions about careers and job transitions. One was a guy that I used to play with when we were kids (less than 10 years old), another is a woman who I’ve known well for 10 years because we have had some thoughtful and deep conversations over dinner, and the other was a guy that I’ve known for nearly 13 years and I’ve been his “bestie” as he made 3 career changes. Why did they all call me? Not sure, I can’t speak for them. But all three said, “I just knew I needed to talk this over with you, Jen; you listen well, ask great questions, and yet, still let me make my own decision.”

Who trusts you with very important decisions? How are you showing up for them? What can you do to be more helpful to those who need a confidant? How do you make time for them when you’re so busy? I’m not sure if the planets aligned or what, but somehow someway, I was able to work in 3 conversations last night with these wonderful people. Two of the conversations allowed me to “walk & talk” and get my steps in. These 3 are leaders in their families and the primary bread winners, so career decisions, incomes, bonuses, and the art & science of negotiation need thoughtful prep and practice. Leaders want coaching; but more importantly, these three just needed a long-term friend who they trusted to listen to what was going on with them. Leaders want coaching…and friends who listen.

April 23rd Coaching Tip: Don’t Miss Birthdays.

Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday, the 29th is my uncle’s birthday, and my grandmother’s birthday is May 24th. How do I know that? Because when I hear about an important birthday (or anniversary or key date), I simply add it to that calendar day as an event and select repeat “every year” in my iPhone. It takes just a few moments but it’s so appreciated by the birthday person when you remember and reach out to call them. Yes, I said call them. Facebook has a good way to remind us of birthdays, but in my opinion, it’s a somewhat lazy way to click on a pre-made “happy birthday” emoji and then click send. Seems a bit unemotional and disingenuous.

My recommendation is to pick up the phone and call people on or near their birthdays. Call them the day before and ask them about their b-day plans or call them the day after to ask what the best part of their b-day was. Bottom line: don’t miss birthdays!

April 24th Coaching Tip: Heavenly Birthdays.

Today would have been my dad’s 86th birthday. Many in our family reached out and connected with my mother, who is 84 years old now and was married to dad for 63 years, to share fond memories and wisdom that we all got from my Dad. Some of our family members didn’t know what to say/text to mom; they were uncomfy to bring up Dad. We encouraged all the family members to share fond, funny and good memories of Dad.

I learned alot from this lil exercise. Send love, positivity and goodness on heavenly birthdays. Celebrate the life of those who have passed on. Share the stories of how they impacted you while they were on earth, alive and thriving. Remember those heavenly birthdays.

365 Coaching Tips: 103rd, 104th and 105th

April 13th Coaching Tip: Happy 413 Day

Received a simple text today from a former Can Do Scholarship “student” who has become quite a businessman, with work experience at Enterprise Rentals and Caterpillar. The text was simple: “Happy 413 Day”.

Antonio was a 4th grader, sitting on a gym floor, when I first met him and share the promise of a $1,000 Can Do scholarship when he graduated from high school and progressed to college. He said when he heard me mention this, it was the first time ANYONE had talked to him about college. Fast forward to his senior year in high school. Antonio is a good student athlete and was recruited to play college basketball at Univ. of Southern Indiana. He didn’t receive a full scholarship, so he really needed the Can Do scholarships. We awarded him $1,000, and then an additional $6,000 for his senior year since he was on track to graduate from USI. What a memory Antonio has, sending me a simple “Happy 413”. Note: the 413 stands for getting 4th graders to post secondary education and also is my favorite verse in the bible, Phil 4:13.

April 14th Coaching Tip: Meet in Person.

Over this past weekend, I met with very important people in my life. My best friends and my mom. It could have been very easy to stay home, watch every stroke in the Masters golf tournament; however, I made the choice to have breakfast with a couple of our friends on Sunday morning (which allowed me to have fun cooking in the kitchen, making plenty of leftovers for all week) before I jumped in the car and drove for an hour to meet my mom for a late afternoon lunch. These are very important people in my life. As I age, I want to have no regrets as my life closes in and nears ending. I want to say that I spent time with those that I loved, I made memories, we met in person, we laughed, we cried.

April 15th Coaching Tip: Tax Day, why wait?

Simple question: why wait and create unnecessary stress? Everyone earning an income in the USA knows that tax day is on or very close to April 15th. Every single year.

Statements start rolling in during late January and throughout February. Get a folder or envelope or a folder in your email, label it “2025 TAX INFO” and keep putting info, receipts, donations, etc. in it throughout the calendar year.

Don’t wait, as that causes unnecessary stress on you as well as your tax pro/CPA/accountant.

365 Coaching Tips: 61, 62 and 63

March 2nd Coaching Tip: REST.

REST. I learned that acronym from a four-star general who spoke to leaders at Caterpillar over 15 years ago. And here we are 15 years later, and I can easily recall the essence of his message: take time to Read relevant and timely information, ensure you get your Exercise (150 minutes/week), get enough Sleep (7-8 hours), and Take Time To Think.

This general reinforced that the easy decisions are already made at an individual level or a lower level. The decisions that get to you as a high level leader or business owner are more difficult, and it’s imperative that you have time to think clearly about important decisions and all the potential and unintended consequences. REST, because it matters to your results, personally and professionally.

March 3rd Coaching Tip: Draft.

Today was my third coaching conversation with a future leader, and he has big plans for the current team, the current leader’s succession plan, and the growth that makes him giddy with excitement. He had been talking alot about it, quickly, and excitedly, but he wasn’t clearly articulating it. In our 2nd conversation, his homework was to draft/sketch what was in his head and put it on “paper”.

I was so proud of him today; prior to our meeting time, he emailed me his draft plan, and it was simple with just 4 pages. He had already used it the draft with the local management team, he has talked to his current leader, and now ready to share the draft with him/current leader. As we both spent 70 minutes really digging in to it today, we further improved it, added a few more details. He also agreed to keep it as an updated version with a date, so that he can keep track of the progress, plans, and be able to share the history with anyone who may join the team. Draft it up, it will help bring clarity to you … and others.

March 4th Coaching Tip: Time is Money.

Got up early today, drove to Coral Gables, FL to meet a colleague so that we could coach a number of leaders and advisors. We were there, on time, and ready to roll. The support women had sent out the emails and reminders, and ordered a lovely lunch. However, the office manager/leaders had NOT done the appropriate prep, didn’t have enough appointments set up for us, thus, it was an average day of efficiency. Actually, it was below average. For an upcoming two-day trip to New York City with this same group, you bet that I will be ensuring the schedule BEFORE we leave, so that others understand how valuable my time is. My schedule should be filled with high priority clients who want coaching and improvement.

365 Coaching Tips: 46, 47 and 48

February 15th Coaching Tip: Squeeze It In.

Today was a day with a full list, but I was operating on less than five hours of sleep. Instead of having an intense workout, I chose instead to squeeze in my workout throughout my day. For an hour, I organized and moved some furniture around in our small condo, went on a walk to check the boat dock and to take the trash to the dumpster. Then during a college basketball game, I did my 3 sets of squats, crunches, pushups and lunges during the game’s timeouts. During halftime of the game, I went on a 12-minute walk. Then, 10 minutes before my mom arrived, I knocked on my neighbor’s door to get caught up with them and also carried a bag of snow melt for them, since a storm is on its way. Squeeze it in; you can do so many things that keep you motivated, organized, and purposeful in a matter of a few minutes.

February 16th Coaching Tip: Reward Them.

It’s 9am on a winter morning and I hear a few knocks at my front door, after a late night of freezing rain and 2-3″ of snow. The two 14-year-old boys are standing there with their new snow shovels, and one asks, “can we shovel your driveway and sidewalk?” I almost said no, but then I thought for a quick second: here are some kids that want some spending money and are working early on a Sunday morning. “Yes, you can shovel my sidewalk, and all around my mom’s car in the driveway.” The two got to work, and even their nine-year-old brother had a shovel and was shoveling. When they knocked on the door for their $20, I went out and inspected their work. Good work; but gave them some tips on straighter lines, and asked them to use a broom to knock the snow off of mom’s car. We then talked about all the businesses that they could start, and by simply looking around us, we saw a fencing business, car detailing business, painting business, landscape and snow removal businesses, etc. It was fun for me watching their creativity blossom. Reward the ones who show up early, and ready to go to work. Reward them!

February 17th Coaching Tip: Safety First.

Overnight, we had freezing rain and then it snowed 2-3 inches. The wind was blowing 15-20mph all day, and it was below 30 degrees. Getting my mom safely to her car was a top priority; we warmed up her car, defrosted the windows, put some snow melt down to help ensure there was no icy surface. We left plenty early, to get to my brother’s home and visit w/ the family, have lunch, and see the two new babies. We were able to drive slowly and safely and embrace the “defensive driving” lesson we all learned in driver’s training. When we got to see the babies, we washed our hands before holding them, again, to be safe and keep them healthy. On the way home, I helped mom by leading the way as she followed behind. As she went north and I proceeded south and got home sooner, I utilized the “find my” App on my iPhone to keep track of her progress. We all had a safe day, because we had a safety-first mindset. It’s worth it; take you time, prep, think about others. Safety first.

365 Coaching Tips: 43, 44 and 45

February 12th Coaching Tip: Heads Up.

When I worked at Caterpillar for over 25 years, we embraced the heads up mentally. Work proactively by thinking ahead, looking out for others, letting your teammates know what’s about to happen or may happen or anything coming around the corner that you can’t quite see, i.e. give them a heads up. Today, during a coaching conversation with a highly talented, top female performer, she was beyond frustrated with her leader’s lack of understanding in her explosive growth and also her being down a couple teammates, due to health reasons and an upcoming retirement. She was wanting him to respect that she was giving him a heads up on her needs for talent, so that she can continue to grow, while allowing her colleagues to tend to health needs and plan to retire.

After a lengthy coaching discussion with her, we landed on her putting together a timeline to clearly indicate what is currently happening (massive growth), about to happen(losing two teammates), what could happen (further growth w/out client service), how to support her(request getting the interviews for new talent started), and by when(beginning of 2nd quarter). She is also going to include how she is ready to coach and develop others on her team and spread the workload proactively, before either of the two depart. Heads up, they work.

February 13th Coaching Tip: Don’t Fall Behind.

Got a reminder today that I needed to submit some expenses for recent business travel. Utilizing a couple 30 minute slots throughout the day, I was proactive and leveraged those two windows of time to get all the expenses and receipts organized, and then at the end of the workday, I submitted the three expense books. In all, it took me about 2 hours to get five different trips submitted, however, I made the decision to do it all at once, because I was prioritizing my coaching work over the last month. The people came first, and I didn’t want to fall behind with them. Nor did I want to fall behind with submitting my expense books; I had given myself 30 days from the start of the first trip to get them submitted, and I did just that, i.e. flew out of town on Jan 14, and submitted the expense books on Feb. 13.

Prioritize what is most important to yourself and your clients, and don’t ever fall behind on submitting expenses or invoicing your clients for work completed or following up with clients who are past due. In my coaching work, I see many who fall behind, become frozen, and unable to catch up. Don’t let the piles stack up and overwhelm you. Don’t fall behind.

February 14th Coaching Tip: Love People.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to spread the love with your sweethearts and those you love. However, today I made the decision to spread the love even further, with the men who are working on a complete remodel in one of my homes. We had three plumbers, two carpenters, an architect, and a floor specialist working away, and I was grateful for their expertise. Thinking that I probably said, “Happy Valentine’s Day” up to five times, I also brought some fresh-made donuts, reminded them to love on their loved ones, and leave work a bit early today. Also asked each of them about themselves; I learned so much. One guy had 3 kids; another had been married 30 years; another was a nutrition major in college; one had 2 sick kids; one was vaping and struggling with his desire to quit. When I left, one of them said, “I love being around you and your energy.” That energy is LOVE. Love People!

365 Coaching Tips: 34th, 35th and 36th Tips

February 3rd Coaching Tip: Utilize Timelines

During an initial consultation this week that was about hosting a summit for some large international teams, I quickly realized that all the leaders had good ideas for this summit, had determined the right audience, and provided thoughtful content. Now it was time to figure out when this will all happen, and who will do what. Thus, I recommended pulling together a timeline. Within a matter of minutes, we all were able to start slotting in the important deliverables so that all the prep could be done timely and yet it also gave us some flexibility. Here we are in early February planning for this leadership summit in early May, and because we utilized a timeline with the group on this initial consultation, we have a plan for execution that is well understood by all. Key deliverables were identified for mid-February, early March, late March, and so on. Utilize timelines to simplify understanding, improve accountability and execution.

February 4th Coaching Tip: Culture Wins.

During my decades working at Caterpillar, we had a phrase that was repeated frequently in meetings: “Culture eats strategy for lunch.” For those who don’t quite understand what this phrase means, let me explain an example that I witnessed this week in the styles of two different leaders. One leader showed up early, welcomed me to his office, really spent time asking me about how I was, my hotel, my flight, my partner, etc. He was prepared for the all-day meeting, paced it well, asked alot of questions and listened to the answers, ordered healthy food, shared the stage and speaking assignments with many on his team; he was thoughtful and steady with his comments.

Contrast that to the other leader. He was not as organized, cut off some of his employees while they were speaking in mid-sentence, condescending to some team members, asked the same question multiple times, made some inappropriate comments about people and politics, etc. This 2nd leader gave us the feeling of frequently being in an erratic state, while the first leader was pleasant and calm, and had surrounded himself with highly skilled talent who exemplified calm and intelligence. Culture wins.

February 5th Coaching Tip: Quick Updates.

I’ve been traveling to multiple locations for the last four weeks. Haven’t had a chance to debrief my boss with a longer 30–45 minute update, so what works for us is quite simple: quick texts, one paragraph emails, and a quick phone call immediately after a conference call/webex that ends early. Don’t overcomplicate things. If a one-to-three-minute brief convo can update someone with a quick text, or a simple email, or a phone call, then do it. Remember, be specific, results oriented, and if there is an ask, state it. Quick updates work. If you don’t believe me, talk to a pilot during an emergency landing. Pilots are brief, calm, and exact with their communication in short statements with their co-pilot, the air traffic controllers, the passengers, etc. Quick updates.

365 Coaching Tips: Day 22, 23 and 24

January 22nd Coaching Tip: Be Seen.

As I was watching a leader today, the day after a 3-day weekend, I noticed how she intentionally walked thru the office area and said hello, stopped and truly talked to her colleagues. They actually stood up and talked to her, shared what they did during their long weekend; smiles and laughs were present. Whether you’re a leader or a colleague, ask people about themselves and their lives. They appreciate being “seen”. As I watched the leader step away, a couple people said, “thank you for talking to us…it shows us that you care.”

January 23rd Coaching Tip: Be Heard.

Received an urgent Skype message today, i.e. “we need to get some time with you today to discuss an important situation.” This team is one who came to me 6 months ago and really shared their WHY and WHAT they want to accomplish. Thus, when they needed time today, we squeezed it in from 4-430pm on a Zoom. Indeed, it was important; they want to promote one of their colleagues and they wanted to practice and run-through the new role and gain clarity for her. After 25 minutes of listening to them and asking questions, they had the role clarified, were smiling, and a bit relieved as we wrapped up the call. If someone needs time with you, consider it a gift. They need someone to be “present”, and the best gift that you can give them is your “presence.” Let me them be heard, to help increase their confidence.

January 24th Coaching Tip: Be Efficient.

As a week winds down, it’s a common tendency to have the mindset of “let’s push it to early next week.” In my coaching work, I actually find that I can get a lot done before 10am on Friday mornings and also between 2-5pm. For example, I was able to squeeze in three, quick, efficient coaching sessions today. In a matter of 15-33 minutes, I was able to help all three situations.

Everyone is busy. Who has ever approached you in the last few years and said, “hey…I just don’t have enough to do” ? Like, let’s get real, no one. In being efficient today, I found that telling all three of them yes, I had a few minutes, we immediately became efficient with our time. They truly felt not only seen but heard, and realized I was ready to potentially help them thru their coaching situation. The greatest gift you can give to someone is your time, i.e. being present. And then when you can help them work thru a situation or two, and they can sleep better over the weekend, you have truly added value. Be efficient, and others will likely mirror your behavior, and be efficient, too.

Dad’s Wisdom, Use Your Vacation in 2013 (424 million days of paid vacation went un-used in USA)

In 2010, my father shared some wisdom at his and my mother’s 50th anniversary party: “Have someone to love, love what you do, and have something to look forward to.” Isn’t it best to embrace what your father says, right? Why? Because 424 million paid vacation days went un-used in America in 2012 (source: WSJ, 12/2012). In our house, we have a fun discussion at the beginning of every year to openly share our annual goals, complete with some yummy Reuben sandwiches. We find that this tradition really matters, including every single ingredient, all the way down to the type of mustard on the Reuben. To help ensure accountability, balance, and adjustments that might be necessary throughout the year, we have quick planning discussions every weekend that help us plan our meals, time for exercise, commitments to others (family, friends, and work), and future trips and vacations.  Thanks to my Dad’s advice of “have something to look forward to”, we created some very special moments in 2012, centered on sports.  Here’s just a few of them:

Super Bowl. One of our bucket list items was accomplished.  Living in Indianapolis, why not go see one of your favorite teams play in Super Bowl XLVI? Plus, our dear friends, my parents, nieces and nephew, brother and sis-in-law came in to town to enjoy the festivities.  Priceless memories made, even though our team lost.

Tennis. We are huge tennis fans and had not been to the US Open in New York City since the early 1990’s. When do you get the chance to see Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic and Venus Williams in the same day? Without any tickets, we jumped in the car and drove a couple hours to Cincinnati and saw them play. So worth it!

Indy 500. My family loves this Hoosier tradition; we have been to the Indy 500 for many years.  But this year, I was given the opportunity to go around the Speedway track at a very fast speed.  Why not, right? Wow, those were an few exhilarating minutes. Took me an hour to settle in, but I called my dad to tell him what I did; he was thrilled I got that opportunity.  And, I got to meet and visit with Mario Andretti.

Golf. The PGA returned to The Crooked Stick Golf Club in Carmel, IN.  Located just minutes from our place, I walked the course and watched former #1 Tiger Woods and current #1 Rory McIlroy play together.  What a treat to see this, because the PGA announced that it also was the tournament of the year.

Boston in Philadelphia. We headed to Lehigh, PA for my cousin’s college graduation ceremony.  Not only did we embrace the trip, we also went to see the Phillies vs. Red Sox and the 76ers vs. Celtics, and reconnected with a couple of friends.  This renewed relationship is now beyond strong; we’ve already  vacationed together and are planning another trip in 2013. My cousin was thankful beyond words, because we were there to see her graduate, through an outdoor ceremony in an absolute rain shower.

Half Marathon. Two of our best girl friends had never been up for running, but run we did.  The six of us gals trained for this event (held here in Carmel) and we all finished.  We proved we all could do it; the connection and strength gained by completing a difficult task further cemented our relationships. Oh, and then we ate and celebrated the rest of the weekend!

Foul Balls. As Red Sox fans, if they play at Wrigley, isn’t that a must do event? Well of course it is, and bring along your best friends (and their kids who have never been to Wrigley). And during the 5th inning, a foul ball heads our way, and yes, we grab it.  What a memory that all of us will never forget, especially as we were telling stories around midnight at the IHOP by Wrigley Field.

Like most of us, we do a great job of planning our to-do lists and daily schedule for the kids’ activities and our work.  Try a little self-assessment by asking these few questions: How well are you planning your life? What type of moments are you creating that will impact you and your family forever? What do you want your legacy to be? How will you implement accountability to plan your personal life as diligently as you do the rest of your life? Happy 2013!

The Three Most Important Questions of Your Life

Have you ever had that moment in a conversation when someone asked you a few questions, and your answers were a bit unsettling? From 2007-2010, I realized it was going to take some work to be able to answer the three most important questions in my life. So in January 2010, I signed up for a program called “Life Launch,” which helped me to articulate further my answers to these three questions.

1. Are you living where you want to live? My Answer: No.

Realizing that we wanted to be closer to family, live in a larger city, with easy access to a great airport, arts, sports and culture, achieve moderate cost of living with world class health care, we identified five cities that would meet these deep needs.  In November of 2011, we relocated to Carmel, IN, and months later, it was named by Money as the #1 place to live in America for small cities. Call that lucky, for sure.

Young adults today have this question figured out. Unlike the Baby Boomer generation who relocated multiple times and lived in the suburbs with long commutes, the trend is that this new generation is courageously moving to where they want to live first, and then finding meaningful work with a limited commute.

2. Are you doing what you want to do? My Answer(s): Yes & No

Marketing had been my life for 20+ years, but I found that I truly enjoyed coaching others and watching them develop. From 2006-2011, I connected with three amazing executive coaches and admired the work they did and how they did it. I soon realized a future role for me was to become a coach. After attending “Life Launch” in early 2010, I completed a year-long coaching certification program that year.  It was training that I needed; it helped me become a certified coach, but also a better person, listener, partner, and friend.

We ask people in casual conversations that infamous question, “what do you do?” How incredible could the conversation potentially be if someone asked, “what do you want to become?” or “are you doing what you really want to do?”

Every day, I encourage colleagues and friends to embrace their strengths, because the return on improving your strengths and deploying them is an 8-10X return (StrengthsFinder 34, Rath & Conchie). If you don’t like your job or role and know you that you have strengths being under-utilized, then put your plan in place to soon be doing what you are good at because the return will be much greater.

3. Are you with who you want to be with? My Answer: Yes

In 2007, I broke both wrists in a bad fall.  I realized quickly who were the most reliable people in my life. When you can’t feed, wipe, or wash yourself, you truly realize who are your friends and family.  That fall helped me realize that I did have the right person in my life, to be my partner.  We also realized that our friends were truly incredible; a couple of our friends went to the wayside, but the bulk of our real friends were amazingly there. We also realized that as we age, we wanted to be closer to family so that we could be there for them, if and when needed.

In interviewing the elderly in The Blue Zones, Dan Buettner quickly realized that centenarians have strong social connection locally and regularly.  If you aren’t with who you want to be with, his long-living research would hint to resolve that and be with who you want to be with.

As you progress through life, how can you ask yourself these three important questions? How can you ensure that you are living your life, completely on purpose? How can you utilize these questions with loved ones, and give them the gift of listening to their answers? We all can be distracted at times during our lives or even take detours, but these three questions might just help you get back on your purposeful highway of life. Recommend finding a memorable time to annually ask yourself these questions, self assess, and make appropriate adjustments wisely.

Transform Results? The Courage to Change

The only way we really learn how to swim is by jumping in (the swimming pool or off the dock into the lake). The fear we overcome quickly is turned in to courage. This courage quickly translates into new skills and talents. Let’s take a couple recent examples in the sports world that have transformed careers.

Cool hand Luke. As an average George Mason basketball player, Luke Hancock decided to transfer when his George Mason coach ‘jumped’ to take on the head coaching job at University of Miami. Courageously, after considering multiple schools and two of them were in his home state, Hancock agreed that the University of Louisville was his next step. Within just a few months, his teammates named him captain even though he sat out as a ‘redshirt’ during the 2011-2012 season.  Within less than two years of his transfer (change), he was deep in the NCAA tournament assuming a key role after a teammate fell due to a broken leg. And who was the one who calmed Kevin Ware as he laid on the sideline with a broken leg? Luke Hancock was there, fully present during the ‘breaking point’, looking directly in to his teammate’s eyes. Just a week later, Hancock came off the bench and led the Louisville Cardinals in not one, but two comebacks to win the NCAA title. Hancock’s ability to be courageous, calm, and lead are truly unique. The NCAA voters agreed, and awarded him the NCAA Final Four’s Most Outstanding Player award.

Come On Aussies. In July 2011, the #1 golfer in the world released his caddie, Steve Williams.  And a younger but highly talented golfer from Australia, Adam Scott, had the amazing courage to quickly hire the best caddie in golf, Williams. At that point, Scott hadn’t won a major championship on the PGA Tour. But most in the sport quickly realized that the elusive major was now within reach. Although Scott was close (he gave up a four-stroke lead in the 2012 British Open), he came back stronger and won the 2013 Masters in fabulous style (sinking a birdie putt in the second playoff hole against a previous Masters winner). Again, in less than two years, Scott has reached the pinnacle of his career in winning The Masters, all because he had the courage to change and transform.

Both of these examples remind us of how some people get ‘stuck’ due to fear of making a change, while others embrace courageous change and achieve heights that appeared to be untouchable. How are you embracing change and your future opportunities? A first few steps might be to identify where you want to go, what you want to achieve, and then identify who can help you reach your pinnacle.