Tag: Coaching

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Learning From Centenarians

We all have life goals. One of my top life goals is to remain active, healthy, and really embrace wellness throughout life. Recently finished a few books about Centenarians, because I want to gain their insights and wisdom regarding what they did to hit 100+!

These 100+ year old people have always made me smile, but so many of these stories had me taking notes, crying, sharing the story out loud with others, and wanting to find more books to keep reading and learning.

What are some of the common traits that help them live to 100? My handwritten notes inside the front covers of all three books, that obviously impacted me the most, highlighted these areas of life:

Faith: Worship and believe. In something. And a willingness to give and be charitable.

Connection: Being around friends, family, and remaining social, as well as connected to a purpose. If that means making tortillas daily, and walking to the market to sell them, then so be it. That gave them the connection needed to keep going, at their pace.

Consistently physically active: Many of the children and grandchildren mentioned that their centenarian father or grandfather probably lived a long time, because they were always staying active on the farm, gardening, walking, traveling, or attending exercise classes.

Moderation: These centenarians really embraced the phrase, “all things in moderation”, especially with food, alcohol, (no)smoking, mood swings, etc. A bit of wine daily worked for some.

Sense of Humor: Many loved to laugh, and sought out being fun, funny, memorable, and unique. Being happy! And having a positive outlook, living peacefully with others.

Easy Going/Embrace Change: They understood the natural flow of life. The highs, the lows, and how to be resilient, as well as having the foresight to embrace change to forge ahead.

Water: They drank water, and ate from their own land. And were located near water, where it’s warm.

Lifelong Learner: Many of the stories focused on how they had to learn new skills, to handle job changes, relocations, and new things being introduced at rapid rates in the 1900’s.

Bottom line: keep one foot in front of the other, head up, living with no regrets, and moving forward in moderation. How are you doing with these? If you aren’t really focused on them, what do you want to focus on that’ll make you happy? In my future, I foresee myself interviewing centenarians, to share their incredibly resilient stories…and continuing to learn from their wisdom.

Jen Wilfong, Sept. 2, 2021

sources: If I Live to Be 100, by Paul Mobley; The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner; Aging Gracefully, by Karsten Thormaehlen

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That word, “Belief”

When Helio Castroneves won his fourth Indy 500 in May 2021, he thanked his new team owner and crew for “believing in me.” He’s only won the Indy 500 four times, and yet, he is thanking people for that word, Belief.

When Giannis Antetokounmpo was thanking and acknowledging the team, ownership, and fans when his Milwaukee Bucks won the 2021 NBA Championship, he was grateful for all those that believed in him. As a kid, who sold watches in the streets of Athens, Greece. And years later, he and his brothers are NBA champions. Whoever believed in him deserves a serious shout out.

Another key member of that Bucks’ 2021 Championship team is Jrue Holiday. He is one of the best defenders in the League; he was traded from New Orleans to the Bucks around Thanksgiving 2020. Fast forward, as he was celebrating the Bucks’ NBA championship, he too thanked his teammates and the organization for believing in him. Both Jrue and Giannis are All-Stars, heck, Giannis is a two-time NBA league MVP. And yet, they quickly commented that they were truly grateful that someone or some organization really, truly believed in them.

A young, seasoned and skilled athletic director at a small high school in Indiana texted me the a couple weeks ago to share that he was having a very important interview. He wanted me to know, because I had always believed in him, and told him that he would reach much higher heights in managing athletics. I believed in him. Yes, me, I believed in him. Although he was not selected for the job, he quickly let me know after he got the bad news. And guess what, I still believe in him and reinforced the message of “it’s not a no, its just not right now.”

Who do you believe in? Have you told them recently why you believe in them? If you haven’t done that, do it. And do it soon. Every single person on this planet needs someone in their corner, that ray of sunshine, a listening ear, the gentle or intentional hard nudge when necessary, and who will take a late night or early morning call when doubt sets in. They need that word, BELIEF. Be the change. Bring BELIEF to others.

Jen Wilfong

August 8, 2021

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Re-thinking Something? Nearly Everyone Is Doing It.

In every single conversation that I am having, nearly everyone is re-thinking something. Everyone is doing it. Everyone.

Up to 40% of Americans working right now are re-thinking things about their job. They are thinking about quitting their job. Many liked the flexible work from home (WFH) model during the pandemic, and may now actually prefer a hybrid work week of WFH and in the office. Others are ready to re-educate themselves, and start a new career. This may be due to losing a loved one during the pandemic, and realizing that life is indeed, short. The phrase “do what you love, love what you do” is in high gear right now.

Up to 50% of Americans over the age of 55 are re-thinking how they want to live the next phase of their lives. My partner has owned not one, but three RV’s in the last three years. She sold one to a 65 year old entrepreneur who just sold his company, and has a sick wife. He said, “if we don’t travel now, when are we going to travel?” She sold her older RV to a confident millennial, who is trekking cross country in it, while working remotely.

Many veterinarians are re-thinking if they want to just be a vet, or really run and operate a vet clinic. A colleague of mine just bought three vet practices TODAY, yes, TODAY. And intends to buy 100 more vet practices by yearend 2021. Why? Vet practices are slammed, after many Americans bought a new pet or added a pet during the COVID pandemic. Families are re-thinking their own households, and adding pets.

Mothers, fathers, and couples are re-thinking when to have children, and how many, or if any at all. The US birth rate recently fell another four percent, to its lowest point since 1979. Countless couples are traveling locally and globally, working remotely, and living the life now, all while delaying and/or reducing the amount of child births….instead of the former thought of work, kids, work, and more work, then retire and die.

One of my work colleagues recently shared with me that his son, a professional baseball prospect and a high school student, is re-thinking how he gets his high school diploma. Instead of sitting in class or virtual classes from 8am to 3pm, his son will be improving his baseball skills from 9am to 4pm, and then do virtual learning in the evening via another state’s high school education program. Yes, another state.

Young adults are now re-thinking the cost vs. value of going to college. Enrollment has dropped, as young adults are making decisions to learn online, work full-time, hustle with a few gigs, etc. and employers are realizing that many entry level jobs no longer need a college degree as a pre-requirement.

A couple of our friends in Texas just sold their home, retired from teaching, and are going to travel and live in their travel trailer. They are completely re-thinking how to travel, how to live after retirement, and are taking their sweet time to figure out “where” they will retire.

The average size of home sold in the last 12-15 months is 33 sq. feet larger than the previous year. People are re-thinking their homes, how they use them, and are wanting more space for “flex”, i.e. work from home, exercise room, virtual learning area.

Google and YouTube have seen a 16X spike in “electric vehicles” searches in the last few months. Drivers and car owners are re-thinking their fuel costs, or maybe their own personal carbon footprint, or simply embracing the latest technology.

During the pandemic, millions who stayed home started reading “Reddit”, and learning how to invest on Robinhood. They now are re-thinking how they can invest, and increase their returns. Many of these millions of online investors had never been involved in investing just two years ago.

As a coach, an important question that I’ll be asking this summer: Leaders, what do you suppose your employees are re-thinking? Leaders, are you ready for a potential exit of some of your talent? Leaders, are you really ready to listen to your employees’ needs and wants, and then respond with a win – win solution? Leaders, are you ready to hire new talent that has different career aspirations? Leaders, are you ready for employees to want an EV plug-in dedicated area in your company’s parking garage? Bottom line: be ready, because everyone is re-thinking something. And if you think they aren’t, then you might just be out of touch.

Jen Wilfong, June 2021

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142,000 COVID deaths = The 737 Airplane Crashing 811 Times

More than 142,000 Americans have died due to COVID19, according to public health data. And yet, some Americans are resisting this data, and many are not wearing masks for the health and well being of themselves and others.

Let’s take a completely different look at some data points:

The popular 737 airplane, that many global airlines utilize, seats between 162-189 passengers. Let’s round that to 175 passengers. The 142,000 COVID deaths would be similar to a 737 plane crashing and killing all aboard for 811 straight days. We ALL know that if this were to really happen more than 2-3 days in a row, all 737’s would be “shut down” from flying. They would be “grounded” immediately.

And here are some other mandated data points:

In most states, smoking is not allowed in most public places. This is due to facts of first and second hand smoke being potentially lethal. Why do we now have “no-smoking” laws? for our own safety and well being of others.

In every town and city in America, we have state laws that require us to wear our seat belts. And for child seats in the back seat for our children under certain ages. Why? for our own safety and well being of others.

On every road in America, we have “boundaries” with white and yellow lines and dashes painted to remind us of where to drive, how to stay in our lane, and when it’s ok to pass and merge. Why? for our own safety and well being of others.

When you fly anywhere now, you must pass thru security and provide your identification, and prove that you are not carrying any item that may harm others. Why? for our own safety and well being of others.

When you renew your drivers license, you must pass an eye test. I just completed this last week, and it was gratifying that I could do it easily…but the person next to me absolutely could not see nor read the eye test. Why do we succumb to the eye test? for our own safety and the well being of others.

When restaurant workers go to the bathrooms in their restaurants, they are required to wash their hands, since they are handling the food that we are about to eat. Why do we ask them to wash their hands? for our own safety and well being of others.

When you go to the dentist for a cleaning or checkup, notice that the dentist and the techs are all wearing gloves and many are wearing face shields…and have been wearing them way in advance of COVID19. Why? for our own safety and well being of others.

My request to anyone who is resisting wearing a mask when asked to: just wear it. Be reminded of ALL of these examples above, and many other examples that I haven’t listed, that are in place for your own safety and the well being of others. Wear Yo Mask. #WearYoMask

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It’s Worth The Drive

17.5 hours to drive home.

Another 2 hours to drive and visit with Mom and Dad.

Another 3 hours to do the drive-in birthday party for my niece on her 21st birthday.

Another 1 hour to drive back to lay my head down for the evening.

And then return back home, another 17+ hours.

Was it worth it? Absolutely.

During my 20’s, 30’s, and early 40’s, there were times when frustration would hit me at my core when someone would die that I truly admired, respected, and loved. After that would happen, I just kept saying to myself that I wanted to ensure that my last moments with those type of people in my life were positive, peaceful, and freeing. Releasing. Like that song, “It Is Well With My Soul.”

Over the last 10-20 years, making an effort to see OTHERS has been so impactful on them; so fun seeing their surprise and feeling the strength of our ongoing relationship grow. Even during this public health COVID19 pandemic, I made the decision to visit all these friends and family. And did it with the safety precautions that were comfortable to me, and respectful to them, too.

Make the drive. Take the trip. Go see the people who matter to you. Make those memories. Live your life. Have no regrets.

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Surviving

During this Covid19 global pandemic, I have been faithfully watching the TV show, “Survivor.” The cast is competing, surviving, living minimalistically, and trying to figure out who to trust. Sound familiar to our daily lives, during this public health crisis right now?

We all are competing. For our lives. Our health. Our work. Our jobs. Our business. Our livelihood. Our stature pre and post Covid19. Our normalcy.

We are surviving. The majority of us are trying to stay healthy, and yet remain active. Millions are in food lines, many people and families that have never been in those lines. Thousands are recovering from the complications of Covid19, and thousands have passed. Millions globally are grieving, and wonder why did I make it, and others didn’t make it. Many just want their lives back to normal.

We are living minimalistically. For the last two months, I haven’t painted my toe and finger nails. And guest what? It’s ok. They are trimmed and clean. We haven’t gone out to eat, and only picked up carry-out a couple times. Our entertainment consists of watching Robin Roberts on Good Morning America at 7am E and then David Muir nighly at 630pm E on ABC. To keep those laughing, facial muscles in shape, we squeeze in some comedy regularly. Music rings daily through the house. Repetitive meals seem to be just fine, with very little variety . Even our clothes and make-up are simple and minimal. We are surviving, and it’s ok.

Aren’t we all trying to figure out who to trust during this pandemic? That’s a difficult one to figure out, right? Are our political and community leaders truly caring about our health and well-being, or trying to get re-elected? Are businesses re-opening with safety in mind, or money in mind? Are restaurants carefully preparing food, or are they just wanting to get it out the door for the carry-out order to be paid? Are our health care providers being provided what they need in a timely fashion, or are they being forced to cut corners as they care for all types of patients and diseases and emergencies?

Keep surviving, my friends, keep surviving. The last time that I seriously watched “Survivor” was when I was very ill, recovering from two surgeries in the first six months of 2000. Now that was surviving, as there were a few days that I didn’t think I would make it. But somehow, I did. We all survive in our own ways. Trust yourself, trust your instincts, and take care of yourself and others that you can impact. Survive, and look to Thrive.

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Thinking That…

Thinking that…this public health crisis will teach us all about the importance of understanding and learning more about the impacts that science and math have on our daily life. 


Thinking that…just like after the 9/11 terror attacks and the resulting surge of brave men and women who joined the military, we’ll see an increase in people retraining to become nurses, respiratory therapists, and doctors. And cleaning companies will establish even better processes to clean workspaces.


Thinking that…we will visit our seniors more frequently and observe their care more closely at nursing homes. 


Thinking that…I hope and pray that I never end up in a nursing home, not me nor any of my loved ones.


Thinking that…we (my partner & I) will quarantine once a year, as we are finding it beneficial to take some time to focus on our health, exercise, nutrition, tech & digital aptitude, writing, cleaning, organizing, home projects, continuing education, and things that rarely get reviewed (like insurance and umbrella policies). It also allows our bodies to take a break from the forces of life, and yet still be outside to see and wave at the neighbors and go to the store. 


Thinking that…because I had a couple personalized, proactive discussions with physicians here in Florida, I changed a few things up, because they taught me to proactively care for my own immune system better, immediately. 


Thinking that…losing weight now is a benefit of staying home. We are eating less and much more intentionally to help protect our immune systems.  We’re also exercising 100’s of minutes each week. 


Thinking that…embracing technology & doing business digitally, with a highly personal touch, has kept me, my company, and the company that I work for highly relevant during these times while many are working from home. 

Thinking that…I am beyond grateful that we both are working, and it’s probably MORE, and that my clients are paying their rent. Felt good to give our clients a discount in April and May. Truly feel for those who aren’t working, and can’t pay their rent.


Thinking that…since I have been working from home for nearly eight years, I got a jump on this whole “work from home” movement.  Grateful to be able to share quite a few best practices with many of my colleagues.  


Thinking that…when I was a young adult, so glad that I listened to the financial experts who said emphatically, “save up to build an emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses,” and “pay yourself first (401K or similar), have your company match it, and do it for your future retirement or cash flow needs.” Praying that many young adults can do that again, as we come out of this public health crisis.


Thinking that…we will all be a bit cleaner, wash our hands more frequently, and really think about who we hug, and why. And who we shake hands with, and why. 


Thinking that…appreciation will spike about all those events that happen naturally and/or annually, like graduations, tournaments, weddings, funerals, classes, trips and holidays. 


Thinking that…we were stocked up, but the run to the store will happen even earlier in the future when we hear about something that’s happening across the world. We will be even better stocked with healthy options to strengthen our immune system, and to also have a few key go-to items, like toilet paper, water, fuel, etc. 


Thinking that…Google and Apple can trace and track me to keep me and others healthier. I am good with that. Nothing to hide, absolutely nothing.


Thinking that…many of us are becoming even better at client service, and more astute entrepreneurs. Creativity is flowing; I mean, check out Zoom calls, TikTok, You Tube, carry out in restaurants/stores/pharmacies/etc.


Thinking that…I can’t wait to see and hear a live concert. Music has impacted me more positively than I ever realized. 


Thinking that…although I love sports, actually not missing the games as much I thought I would. Wasn’t sure how I’d make it without March Madness. But, realizing that there is so much to learn and read about, and to do. 


Thinking that…staying connected with family and friends has always been a priority, and thus thankful for low levels of anxiety right now, and no depression. It’s fun seeing them on Zoom & Facetime regularly and spontaneously. Praise the Lord. Praying for those who are experiencing stress and anxiety.


Thinking that…my parents are being remarkably healthy and yet staying engaged thru this quarantine with physical distancing. So proud of them. Zero complaining. 


Thinking that…we are praying more, before eating at the table. And that’s a great peace to have and to also feel the deep connection with Him and each other. 


Thinking that…although our lives have been disrupted, adjusted routines have been tweaked and are working pretty darn good. 


Thinking that…it’s not been that bad. In fact, I see (as mentioned in my earlier blog) much HOPE. I Hope. 


Jen Wilfong 4/20/2020 

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I Hope

I Hope we remember our resilient grandparents and great grandparents, who got through World War I, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression and World War II during the early-mid 1900’s.

I Hope we remain resilient for a few months, to help save 1,000s and 1000’s of lives.

I Hope we remain patient and calm, yet confident and full of Hope.

I Hope we truly appreciate the nurses, nurse practitioners, respiratory therapists, and doctors, and every single member of the cleaning crews, who are going to work in extreme circumstances to help save lives.

I Hope we remain home, so that these caregivers soon have less cases of COVID-19, not more. I Hope when we do go out, it truly is “essential.”

I Hope we are grateful because we do or did have a job, and complain a bit less in the future. I Hope we find purposeful and meaningful work again soon, if your work was lost.

I Hope we pitch in and help those that have lost their jobs.

I Hope we cook more at home, eat at the kitchen table, and wash our own dishes.

I Hope we tip more happily, and I Hope we praise the chefs freely, when we return to our favorite restaurants and bars.

I Hope we say THANK YOU more, not less, to every one of those fellow humans who serve us.

I Hope we allow teachers to teach in the classroom, without helicoptering over our teachers. I Hope we thank them for managing overcrowded classrooms with minimal supplies, day after day, year after year.

I Hope we let our kids learn consequences, both good ones and the bad.

I Hope we teach our kids at home, how to help run and operate a home, manage a budget, cook a meal, change a furnace filter, clean the house, do the laundry, etc.

I Hope we save more, and build an emergency fund, so that we are ready for any future inconvenience.

I Hope we love, teach and care for our children, and not abuse them more.

I Hope we keep taking walks outside with our partners and family.

I Hope we don’t hole up and never trust again.

I Hope we can trust ourselves to make the best decisions, for ourselves, our families and others.

I Hope we further realize how difficult it is to lead, and the deep complexities to it. I Hope we help our leaders become better, with calm feedback.

I Hope we refine our own crafts and trades. I Hope we are more astute entrepreneurs, and become even more in tune with what our clients and customers truly need.

I Hope we continue to wash our hands, even more thoroughly than ever.

I Hope we appreciate our hair stylists and barbers, and give them appropriate tips.

I Hope we keep riding our bikes after dinner, instead of allowing the tires to go flat.

I Hope we keep saying hello to our neighbors on down the street, like we are doing now, while out on walks.

I Hope we always care for our most vulnerable, our seniors and elderly, who have the most wisdom and love to give. They’ve seen it all; I Hope we always listen to them.

I Hope we embrace technology even more, as a way to allow efficiency and ease in to our lives…instead of rejecting it like in the past.

I Hope we keep doing our “Zoom” happy hour meetings and those “House Party” get togethers.

I Hope we appreciate public spaces like parks and golf courses, and pick up after ourselves when we visit them in the future.

I Hope we beam with excitement like never before when we can once again attend all the movies, sporting events, and concerts. I Hope it’s a flipping blast!

I Hope we respect and thank the police, the National Guard, the US Army Corps of Engineers, and security personnel for caring for our needs, and handling the deep, dark horrible acts that continue to happen in our cities during this crisis.

I Hope that we remain thoughtful and caring Global citizens.

I Hope that if we are sick, we will STAY HOME. I Hope we think more deeply about that one decision in the future.

I Hope that we prep a bit better, and have our necessary supplies in our home, so that we don’t rush to the stores and create havoc for grocery and general stores.

I Hope we continue to allow long-haul semi-trucks, Amazon, FedEx, UPS, and the US Mail trucks more room as they travel to deliver OUR goods and products.

I Hope we smile at the garbage and recycle workers, and be grateful they do what they do. I Hope we realize they are picking up our messes, every single day.

I Hope when we travel in the future, we understand and do the research so that we clearly understand the situation where we are headed.

I Hope when we are in airplanes and using public transportation, we have clean hands and our coughs are covered properly. I Hope we say “Bless You” when one sneezes.

I Hope we continue to pray more, and embrace our place of worship and our Lord.

I Hope we love more, selflessly, like our care givers love us under this COVID 19 threat.

I Hope that we can trust again.

As I woke up this morning, I simply said to myself, “I Hope.” Today, April 2, 2020, the USA now has over 200,000 cases of the nearly one million cases of COVID 19 globally, which is two times as many as any other country in the world. And yet I still woke up, saying and thinking, and now writing, “I Hope.” Please, do what you can. Stay home. Stay physically distant from others. Stay deeply connected to those you love. Stay in touch with your people and your families, leveraging the wide variety of technology tools. Stay close with your Lord. – Jen Wilfong 4/2/2020 8am E

April 2 morning prayer: The world presses in on me and defeats me, despite my best efforts, until finally I call on You for help and find You there, just waiting for me to ask. Thank You, Lord, for helping me. Amen.

source: Johns Hopkins COVID 19 Dashboard https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/

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Working “On” The Business The Day After Christmas

Today was a day that I actually focused on developing my skills. It felt great to take hours and truly listen to other coaching experts, read from a multitude of coaching websites, and watch other coaches at work via YouTube. At the end today, I am actually better for taking time to Stop. Learn. Develop. Grow.

We coach our clients to take time to work “on” their business, and not just “in” their business. Today, I worked “on” my business/craft/skillset. As coaches, we must be role models to others, and practice what we preach.

There was time for others today, too. In fact, the best part of the day was planning some future fun with both of my parents. As they drove away this morning after a couple holiday, family gatherings, I said to them with a smile, “…see you in a month.” My dad is going to be inducted into the Indiana Standardbred Hall of Fame, and my mom announced this surprise at our family Christmas gathering. Now we are all planning to be there in person in late January 2020.

How did you spend your day after Christmas? Connecting with the people you love? Working on developing you? Working “on” your business? This is a short, but targeted time to get a lot done before the New Year begins.

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Reading Like Mad

For years and years and years, reading more had always been a goal. Finally, I knew that I had to change it up to get better reading results. Get some small wins by finishing books that I had already started, read shorter books to gain a feeling of accomplishment, and embrace technology. So in 2018, I signed up for the Audible. Read more than ever, and finished 19 books.

In 2019, I signed up for the FREE Libby app, via my local library. Deleted my Audible account, which saves me $15/month. And the result is even better than 2018. In just four months, already completed 11 books and have two more books that will be finished by the end of April, which will total 14 books in the first four months of 2019.

Why am I reading so much? Because I have always wanted to. And because when I read about our seniors and the elderly, they wished they would have worked less and read more, among many other things. With Libby and Audible, we can listen to the book, and drive. We can listen and work out. Listen and go on a walk. Even listen while in the home, on our Echo Dot. Reading via Libby has been a wonderfully efficient use of my time. What a great way to leverage technology to increase my learning, knowledge, and relevancy.

More than ever now when I am speaking and coaching, I have a calm confidence to recommend books that are specific to a situation. If a team is trying to implement their first business plan, I recommend “Traction” by G Wickman. If a team is trying to figure out their brand and how to be relevant online, I recommend “10X” by Grant Cardone or “Crushing It” by G Vaynerchuk. If a team is facing some dysfunction, I recommend “Strengths” by T Rath or “Five Dysfunctions of A Team” by P Lencioni. If someone is refining their leadership skills, B Brown’s “Dare to Lead” is spot-on. If I am trying to make sense of current events, then consuming history helps me to better understand that we humans have a tendency to repeat what our ancestors did.

How are you staying relevant? How are you sharpening your saw? How are you helping others refine their skills? I believe that at the end of life, I will be very glad that I read all of these fascinating books (consuming books via Libby & Audible) and kept my learning edge sharp.