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365 Coaching Tips: 139th, 140th and 141st

May 19th Coaching Tip: Parks are FREE.

What a way to introduce your kids to free entertainment by simply taking them to a park. Teach a child how to go find 10 different leaves or six different bugs or five different weeds or wildflowers. Ask them to go make a friend with someone else. Time them as they run or play. Parks are free and simply go underutilized.

I’m always amazed when I go to Central Park in NYC; no matter the time of the year, it’s busy and bustling. Mostly with adults. Adults realize how important it is to be outside, soaking up sunshine, laying on the grass, listening to the birds chirp, running or walking on the many paths. If we as adults get it, then let’s make sure that our children get those experiences early in their lives. Parks are free and might be one of the best educational experiences that kids can have.

May 20th Coaching Tip: Practice The Script.

Today I worked with a couple young advisors who are learning how to care for clients of their colleague, a senior advisor who is expecting to wrap up working in the next couple years. As these two are meeting the clients for the first time, they are simply listening and taking notes. For the second meeting, we are now working on scripting and practicing questions for them to ask these clients. They landed on asking them about their family tree. We agreed that who doesn’t like talking about their family tree. And the second question would be to ask permission to reconfirm the beneficiaries on record for their accounts. We practiced these questions and relief came to them with smiles. Then we added another part of the script. After these meetings with the clients, the young advisors would call clients back, at the request of the senior advisor. This ties the effort together, and the client is understanding that the senior advisor is still in charge, but delegating work to be done. Take time to practice the script. It will drive more confidence and comfort for all parties involved.

May 21st Coaching Tip: Stand Up to Greet People.

Recently as a client, I went into an office and was greeted warmly and professionally by a couple of the company’s colleagues. They both stood up and came out of their offices and workspace to greet me. But a third colleague just looked at me and stayed seated in his work cubicle. It immediately created an uncomfortable situation for the two who had greeted me, knowing that I was a client.

Coaching tip for today is simple: when a client approaches you, stand up and greet them. A simple handshake or even a quick standup and smile at them are both appreciated. If you don’t stand up, you may be sending a signal to that client that they don’t matter. Stand up.

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365 Coaching Tips: 136th, 137th & 138th

May 16th Coaching Tip: Weather Warnings.

Pay attention to the weather and the warnings. For most of the week, the news and weather channels were warning parts of the country about incoming severe thunderstorms that could create tornadoes. This is how quick the weather changed on a nice spring afternoon. At 4pm til 545pm, I was sitting outside with my neighbors chatting and watching a softball game. As I jumped in my car to head to my 6pm haircut, I called those same neighbors quickly and said, “The weather in the west looks ominous. Can you guys take down my flags and move some stuff inside?” They got in to motion quickly. By 630pm, my haircut was done and I drove to get some groceries to then head north to our lakeside condo. As I was looking west and also at the radar, the storm looked like it was going to stay south as I was driving a bit north. But all of the sudden the tornado sirens started blaring and I knew that I needed to get to the condo quickly to be safe. I drove quickly to the condo…only to find out later that the worst winds were happening right as I was entering my condo. Pay attention to weather warnings; it can be a matter of life or death, as more than 30 people across the Midwest died that evening.

May 17th Coaching Tip: Take Lazy Day.

This coaching tip is simple. Sometimes you just need a lazy day. Take it. You have to listen to your body. Being good to your body is a vote for YOUR overall wellness. Take a lazy day.

May 18th Coaching Tip: Avoid The Head-On Collision.

It was a lovely Sunday morning as my mother was driving from her home in Kentland, IN to make a quick stop in Lafayette and then travel on to meet our family for a baby shower in Pendleton, IN. This will be her 7th great grandchild, and these events are beloved by my mother. As she was just 20 minutes in to her trip, some type of truck started heading directly at her. She avoided the head-on collision and the side-swipe, she quickly reacted, but both tires on the passenger side hit the curb and immediately went flat due to the sudden impact. My mother got her car pulled over at a gas station very close by, regained her composure, and although she was shaking a bit, called me to tell me what had just happened and that she was ok.

She and I quickly developed a plan to get her car insurance involved to fix the tires/get the car towed, and then my partner and I got the wheels literally rolling. My partner drove to the exact location where my mother was; mom was already identifying who had the tire size available and who was open to install them on a Sunday afternoon. Fast forward to 7pm…my mother and I did make it to the shower a couple hours late, then returned to pick up her car with two new tires. The biggest decision she made all day: avoid the head-on collision.

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365 Coaching Tips: 130th, 131st and 132nd

May 10th Coaching Tip: Say No to Price Increases.

Ever had that feeling when you’re feeling taken advantage of? For example, maybe your internet bill keeps creeping up higher and higher, then all of the sudden, the $35/month jumped to $50/month to $75/month? Welp, that just happened to me. Services that are doubling in costs may be ok to some people, but I’m saying no. I switched and locked in a 4-year guaranteed rate of $55/month with unlimited data and 1G. Say no to price increases that make your skin crawl. Have the courage to say no, take a few minutes and make the change, and take care of YOU!

May 11th Coaching Tip: Mothers love Mother’s Day.

Mothers love mother’s day. Why? Because it is ALL about them. And all they want is to be recognized, be around their kids and grandkids, share a meal, play a game, tell some stories, laugh, and spend time together. It’s pretty simple, and yet, why is that so many people miss it or “underthink it” or forget to even get a handwritten note, card, flowers, a treat for their mom? Not sure I understand, but it’s easy to resolve. Put a reminder on your calendar a week prior to Mother’s Day to help you be prepared and make it about her. Mothers love mother’s day.

May 12th Coaching Tip: The Best Want Feedback.

At the end of my day today, I coached one of the best female advisors in our company. She felt a bit stuck, as she mentioned that she hadn’t got much done since our convo in January. However, she is growing via referrals, especially with women, and plans to hire 1-2 more talented teammates by midyear. She’s also adding an intern for the summer. We also discussed how a couple of her teammates cannot get out of the day to day work, and do the more important work. By the end of the call, we had identified 3-5 prioritized things that she and her team can do this summer with the intern to help automate her practice to free up time for teammates, focus on the clients that she wants to replicate, and refocus the amount of time spent with segments of her clients. By the end of the call, she was smiling and was ready to set up the next call. The best leaders want feedback. They also want to be heard. Listen, listen, and then lean in.

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365 Coaching Tips: 127th, 128th & 129th

May 7th Coaching Tip: Are You Magnetic?

This past week, I had the pleasure of coaching a multi-generational team in Naples. As we wrapped up, one of the women looked at me and said, “I’m so pumped up to go make change. You’re magnetic!” I was completely caught off guard but somehow had my wits about me to smile and thank her.

Are you magnetic? It means that you’re attractive or alluring, as a person. I’m pleased that I had that impact on her. However, it’s my responsibility as a coach to follow up and see if the magnetic feeling is now carrying over into this week with execution. Most of us have a few magnetic people in our lives. What we do with that magnetic feeling is the ultimate test.

May 8th Coaching Tip: Training Someone Else.

As I flew home this evening on a plane that was just 1/3 full, we had a funny, senior flight attendant who really took to the microphone. He explained what we needed to do as we entered the plane: space out and only 1-2 people per row. Everyone complied. Then he explained that he was training a new flight attendant, as it was her first flight, and he requested that everyone should give her some grace. The passengers clapped and were kind to her. As she made drinks for everyone and brought them to our seats, he stood behind her and watched her as she delivered them all.

We’ve all been there, that moment when you’re a new employee and you don’t know everything. But whew, does it ever help when you have good training and a willing mentor/partner to quickly give you feedback as you begin your new role. Help someone out by helping train them. It might make you a better leader and colleague, too.

May 9th Coaching Tip: Gardening Is Like Leading.

My grandmother could get anything to grow and her flowers in her yard were always vibrant. My mother has similar skills and has won numerous flower and garden awards. This weekend, I was trying to emulate their skills. Out came the flowerpots, in came the annuals, dirt, and fertilizer. Identifying which flowerpots would be in the shade with which flowers was important from the beginning of my potting process. I set aside four window boxes because they are all in the shade and they need shade loving annuals (impatients). The other pots would need partial shade or full sun.

As I was potting, I was realizing that gardening is much like leading. It’s important to provide the right amount of sunshine, pot size, fertilizer, soil, and water…or the flowers and plants don’t thrive. Similar to people, leaders need to make it a priority to really understand who needs what (sunshine, fertilizer, etc.) and when, all in an effort to help them grow and develop into the teammate or colleague that they can become. Seeds turn into seedlings, then to small plants, on to medium to larger flowers/plants, and ultimately their time runs out at harvest or die due to cold weather. If you care for your people like a gardener cares for their garden, you should reap great rewards. Are you a gardener of people?

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365 Coaching Tips: 124th, 125th and 126th

May 4th Coaching Tip: Read The Fine Print.

Since 2013, I’ve owned 33 properties in my real estate companies. I’ve rented many of these homes multiple times and sold a number of them. Today, my realtor hosted an open house for a home we listed for sale just two days ago. In receiving four offers quickly, my realtor and I ready thru the offers closely, i.e. the fine print. In three of the four offers, the realtor was trying to increase their fee amount from 2% to 3%. In one of the offers, the escrow amount wasn’t even 1%. We asked them to increase it, and they did quickly. Another offer had just 5% down, with 95% mortgage. I’m not interested in that. The first offer we got a couple days ago was asking for a home warranty, the 3% realtor fee, and then a $4,000 closing credit. That was a no way, absolutely no way.

Take time to read the details and truly understand the impact on the contract. The fine print matters; don’t peruse over it. It matters.

May 5th Coaching Tip: Follow Up After In-Person Meetings.

In my coaching work, some of the teams and businesses will host events. They might spend months planning the event, fine tuning the speakers, invite list, and messages. And yet, follow up is typically not thought of thoroughly. Recently we had an international meeting with 15 teams who manage a significant amount of business. At the end of both days of the conference and also the first day upon their return home, the leader summarized 3-4 items as next steps. Then, he asked his admin team to develop a matrix to track who is making progress on the next steps.

This was an elite case of ensuring follow up will most likely happen. Following up after these valuable (and expensive) in-person encounters in life or with business meetings can really show others that you care and are paying attention. Follow up!

May 6th Coaching Tip: Weather Changes.

As we wrap up this week in our Florida home to head north to enjoy the Indiana and Midwest summer and fall weather, we are prepping for the weather changes. It’s not IF a hurricane will come close to our Naples, FL home in the next few months, it’s WHEN a hurricane / severe storm will come. Thus, we are planning ahead for the warmer and stormier weather in Florida. The outdoor furniture is inside the home. The water will be shut off along with things like the water heater, bidets, Tesla charger, and washer & dryer. Many of the electrical plugs will be unplugged. The thermostat will be on 78 degrees most of the time. We have thoughtfully utilized almost everything in our refrigerator over the last 2-3 weeks, to enjoy it now and reduce waste.

As we head north, the weather is changing up there, too. The month of May can be tornadic, so we will always be charged up and have shoes on if tornadoes arise. We also plan to be on the lake regularly this summer to enjoy the sunsets. We will ensure we have proper lighting on the boat to return to the dock safely. My hope is that you, too, prepare ahead for the changes in weather. Don’t be caught off guard!

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365 Coaching Tips: 121st, 122nd and 123rd

May 1st Coaching Tip: Listen Deeply.

It’s one thing to say, “Yeah, I’m a good listener.” But it’s another thing to demonstrate it. Today, a group of us listened to a business leader of 20 people share how his team embraces their purpose in their business by deeply listening to help improve the quality of (financial) lives of the families they serve. One of the attendees kinda smirked, raised his hand, and asked, “how do you listen deeply?” The leader thanked the attendee for the question and then shared with the entire room all the different exercises, training, and coaching that his team has invested in. Then to further make his point, he shared an amazing example that quieted the room, as he had everyone’s attention on the power of listening of one of his teammate’s and how it can helped transform a challenging client relationship into a very satisfied client.

Listening is simple: ask questions that start with the words how, what, when, who, and where (try to stay away from why questions). Then, stay present as the questions are answered. Ask follow-up questions on what you heard, so that the convo can go deeper. Refrain from compiling YOUR answer in your head. Listen, then ask for more info. Then a bit later, if necessary, you can ask for permission to provide a couple insights. However, by listening thoroughly, give yourself time to evaluate what you are hearing; sometimes, as the listener, you don’t have to say anything. The person speaking can many times figure out their gameplan or fully vent, proceed, and be thankful for you listening. Instead of listening to answer others, listen deeply.

May 2nd Coaching Tip: Psychological Safety.

In front of nearly 20 leaders, I had the opportunity to share what makes great teams perform better than other teams. With a compilation of research, I mentioned one of the top factors was that team members needed to feel safe to truly share their feelings about their work and their work environment. One of the leaders in the room who leads with a bit of the “stick” more than others in the room interrupted our conversation and went on a rant about empathy. It was clear that he didn’t believe in empathy for others. When he was done ranting, I opened up the discussion in the room. Other leaders jumped in and said the best way to get people on your side and to gain buy-in is to first to understand them and their situation. One leader even indicated that if you check-in, listen, and follow up, you don’t even have to show empathy or act like you’re being empathetic. The fact that you checked in, listened, and followed up later on, shows that you care. These acts create psychological safety for them/team members to share with you. When the going gets tough or when the road is smooth and fast, give others the space and safety to respectfully share with you what’s really going on. This psychological safety will most likely help drive winning results for your team.

May 3rd Coaching Tip: Derby Day!

Although I grew up on a standardbred horse farm, I really love watching the Triple Crown thoroughbred races. Since today was Derby Day, felt it would be fun to celebrate a little bit by making some mint juleps in the mid-afternoon and invite the neighbors over. Connie and Tony came over; they had never made nor had ever drank a mint julep. We got to work and had a blast doing it. We muddled fresh mint leaves with the simple syrup, then added the bourbon and ice. While shaking them, oops, we made a mess. We added more ingredients and more ice, then sat down to drinking these yummy mint juleps, watching the pre-race chatter and races, and we really learned more and more about our next-door neighbors. After a couple mint juleps, I learned about their beloved grandkids and the business that their son now runs for them. As it approached closer to 5pm, off they went to get all dressed up for a Derby Party. Celebrate life by making moments with your neighbors. It was Derby Day and now my neighbors know that I grew up on a horse farm in Indiana, with a deep love of horse racing and basketball. Celebrate traditions and make deeper relationships,,,It’s Derby Day.

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365 Coaching Tips: 115th, 116th and 117th

April 25th Coaching Tip: Flat Stanley Taught Us.

Our friend’s daughter sent me a package with the Flat Stanley instructions and a hand-colored Flat Stanley. If you are unfamiliar with Flat Stanley, join the club; I wasn’t either. However, the instructions were simple to understand and on one page. The essence of this game with Flat Stanley is to take him (hand-colored lil Flat Stanley) with you as you visit places, take photos of him, and then fill out a photo book with the photos that we took of Flat Stanley as we spent a couple days with him. Flat Stanley visited the beach, got to see some cool trees, visited where I work, saw a sunset, joined us for dinner, and even met our waiter, Mario. When I pulled out our Flat Stanley, Mario quickly said, “I vividly remember the Flat Stanley exercise in elementary.” Isn’t that amazing that an adult remembers this exercise so vividly over 20 years later?

Guess who else learned a bunch? We did. On the final page of the photo book was a number of questions about the state that Flat Stanley visited. We learned so much about Florida; the state bird is the Northern Mockingbird. The state tree is the cabbage palm. The state song is Suwanee River. The nickname is Sunshine State. The motto is “In God We Trust”. The largest city is Jacksonville, FL, with nearly 1 million people. The state is the 22nd largest (in square miles) in the USA. Flat Stanely helped us learn and it was a joy spending time with him and helping our friend’s daughter complete her school project. It’s all packaged up and ready to be mailed to her tomorrow. Flat Stanley taught us, too.

April 26th Coaching Tip: Play Til The End.

Last night during the Denver Nuggets playoff game at the LA Clippers, the score was tied with a few seconds remaining. The Clippers had mounted an incredible 32-9 run in the fourth quarter, putting Denver on its heels. With the score tied and 5-6 seconds remaining, Denver Nugget’s best player took a “last” shot which ended up being an airball. But, with the clock running down, another Nugget’s teammate, Aaron Gordon, saw that the shot was going to be short and jumped up to grab it and make a dunk…with .01 on the clock. That’s not ONE second; that’s .01 or 1/10th of a second! This was the perfect example of “playing to the very last moment, playing to the end.” How many times in life do we slow down at the end or we don’t do our job expecting others to execute or we think we will just do it tomorrow or we say, “let’s go into overtime.” Aaron Gordon taught us to play to the end!

April 27th Coaching Tip: Prioritize Recovery.

Yesterday was an intense day for my senior games preparation. (My goal is to compete (again) in the Indiana games on June 7, and then the National Senior Games in Des Moines in early August. The events are the 100m, 200m, 400m, and 800m runs; I’m also going to do the basketball shooting at Nationals.) After shooting baskets for 32 minutes, I headed to the nearby middle school’s track where I ran six-100m’s and two-200m’s, did some leg strengthening and took two walks. Burned nearly 1,000 calories; it was mid-day, about 85 degrees and a light breeze. Hydration and the hot tub were both priorities after that intense workout. As you might imagine, today is all about recovery. We scheduled an hour massage, after a slow morning walk. Now I’m heading to the pool to swim a couple laps…and take a nap by the pool. Our neighbors brought us some homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs, so we don’t even have to do food prep today. Take time to keep your body healthy by prioritizing recovery after intense days. As a 60 year old, being fit and healthy for me is a blend of appropriate strength and cardio HIIT training, proper nutrition (80% of the time), 7+ hours of sleep, enjoying the work and purpose in our life, and allowing the brain and both time to recover. Your body (and mind) deserve it. Prioritize recovery.

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365 Coaching Tips: 112, 113 and 114

April 22nd Coaching Tip: Leaders Want Coaching.

This evening after work, I talked to three good, long-term friends who are making huge decisions about careers and job transitions. One was a guy that I used to play with when we were kids (less than 10 years old), another is a woman who I’ve known well for 10 years because we have had some thoughtful and deep conversations over dinner, and the other was a guy that I’ve known for nearly 13 years and I’ve been his “bestie” as he made 3 career changes. Why did they all call me? Not sure, I can’t speak for them. But all three said, “I just knew I needed to talk this over with you, Jen; you listen well, ask great questions, and yet, still let me make my own decision.”

Who trusts you with very important decisions? How are you showing up for them? What can you do to be more helpful to those who need a confidant? How do you make time for them when you’re so busy? I’m not sure if the planets aligned or what, but somehow someway, I was able to work in 3 conversations last night with these wonderful people. Two of the conversations allowed me to “walk & talk” and get my steps in. These 3 are leaders in their families and the primary bread winners, so career decisions, incomes, bonuses, and the art & science of negotiation need thoughtful prep and practice. Leaders want coaching; but more importantly, these three just needed a long-term friend who they trusted to listen to what was going on with them. Leaders want coaching…and friends who listen.

April 23rd Coaching Tip: Don’t Miss Birthdays.

Tomorrow is my dad’s birthday, the 29th is my uncle’s birthday, and my grandmother’s birthday is May 24th. How do I know that? Because when I hear about an important birthday (or anniversary or key date), I simply add it to that calendar day as an event and select repeat “every year” in my iPhone. It takes just a few moments but it’s so appreciated by the birthday person when you remember and reach out to call them. Yes, I said call them. Facebook has a good way to remind us of birthdays, but in my opinion, it’s a somewhat lazy way to click on a pre-made “happy birthday” emoji and then click send. Seems a bit unemotional and disingenuous.

My recommendation is to pick up the phone and call people on or near their birthdays. Call them the day before and ask them about their b-day plans or call them the day after to ask what the best part of their b-day was. Bottom line: don’t miss birthdays!

April 24th Coaching Tip: Heavenly Birthdays.

Today would have been my dad’s 86th birthday. Many in our family reached out and connected with my mother, who is 84 years old now and was married to dad for 63 years, to share fond memories and wisdom that we all got from my Dad. Some of our family members didn’t know what to say/text to mom; they were uncomfy to bring up Dad. We encouraged all the family members to share fond, funny and good memories of Dad.

I learned alot from this lil exercise. Send love, positivity and goodness on heavenly birthdays. Celebrate the life of those who have passed on. Share the stories of how they impacted you while they were on earth, alive and thriving. Remember those heavenly birthdays.

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365 Coaching Tips: 109th, 110th and 111th

April 19th Coaching Tip: Celebrate Others.

When someone turns 80 and throws a party, go! That’s exactly what my uncle did. He (at 80 years old, too) flew in from Denver on Good Friday. We relaxed most of the day before the party, then I drove my uncle around 4pm to this 80th birthday party of one of his fraternity brothers (Blair) from Indiana University. About 7pm, my phone rings and my uncle & Blair’s wife were calling me to invite me to the party to meet their family, taste some of their bourbon collection, and eat some of the remaining chocolate desserts. How could I say no to those three requests? Fast forward to 10:45pm, my uncle and I are in the car driving home after listening to a duet of live music that Blair had hand-picked, laughing hysterically with his family, and lugging those yummy left-over desserts (moist, chocolate fudge cake and chocolate covered strawberries) home to enjoy with Easter dinner. Join in the fun and celebrate others. It was Blair’s big 80th birthday and what a party he threw!

April 20th Coaching Tip: Catch The Sunrise.

It’s Easter Sunday; to us, it’s one of the most beautiful mornings to get up early and catch the sunrise to be reminded of the good news ahead for us eternally. The evening before, we headed up to our lakeside condo, which faces east, and the Easter sunrise was glorious. It was worth the effort and a great reminder to just get up and catch the sunrise.

April 21st Coaching Tip: Think Ahead.

The next three weeks have me hitting multiple cities, speaking to multiple groups with multiple presentations. In reviewing my timeline, I set some time-blocking on my calendar to work on the high priority and very specific items to help ensure that I stay ahead and don’t fall behind. I also asked myself who can I leverage to help stay on schedule and completely on point. Earlier this month when I delegated a key piece of the prep work, I inspected some work that was done by others so help ensure that it was complete and accurate. Unfortunately, it was not completed accurately, and it may put my reputation as a speaker and a facilitator of a session with three others somewhat at risk. Thank goodness the “think ahead” mantra was in full effect, and we have time to recover/fix the work and get back on track. Think ahead!

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365 Coaching Tips: 106, 107 & 108

April 16th Coaching Tip: Pay Attention To Messages.

Our flight was delayed this week for an hour, then it pushed another hour. Since we are well-seasoned travelers, we knew that these delays would most likely lead to a long, uncomfortable evening in the airport. After the second delay, we quickly discussed our options, paid our restaurant tab, and made the decision to head back home so that we could sleep in our own bed and watch our favorite show at 830pm. Glad we made this decision, because we found out that our flight was delayed from 7pm to 12am, and then ultimately cancelled. Pay attention to messages, they might just save you some angst; I’m sure others weren’t paying as much attention and got angry at the delays and ultimate cancellation. Pay attention…and trust your expertise.

April 17th Coaching Tip: Plan For The Future.

Recently I met with two key leaders; believe it or not, they didn’t know it, but they were in the moment helping me plan my future. One really needed me as a business coach and trusted advisor, while the other wanted to hear more about my background and how I might be able to help others (since I have nearly four decades of business and leadership experience) in the next few years. These two discussions have me really thinking about my future. I’m asking myself: WHO can I help? on WHAT topics? and WHEN do I do this? and WHERE do I want to do it?

My abilities to influence and develop others, solve problems, be comfortable working locally and globally, and have a focus on client experience are valuable to a wide variety people. Now’s the time (no matter your age) to Plan for the Future. YOUR future!

April 18th Coaching Tip: Inspect Your Decisions.

Yesterday I went to inspect a late change that I made in the house remodel project that we have in progress. I had made the original decision to go with an off-white paint color (named after the dog breed, West Highland White Terrier). I really thought it was a good choice, as I compared 8-10 different off-white colors. However, the name grabbed me emotionally since we used to have two Westie dogs. When I saw this color on the walls of the house, it didn’t feel right, as it had too much yellow in it. I had to make a change, just had to. Quickly, I selected a brighter white, named “White Snow.” My painters went to the paint store, grabbed the new paint, started painting and said, “much better…what should we do with the West Highland paint?”

Since it was my decision to change the color, I knew that I had to drive back to the remodel project and go check out the new paint color on the walls. Sure enough, it looked so much better and the white was brighter. It made me smile! And this week we received a permit for the new proposed garage, so we will utilize the paint that was already purchased/bit yellow for the interior of the garage. We all agreed with the changes. Recommend that if it is YOU who makes a change on an important decision, go check it out and inspect it.