Category: Purposeful

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365 Coaching Tips: Day 28, 29 and 30

January 28th Coaching Tip: Exude Positivity.

Today, I listened to an accomplished leader who had led large groups of people in Washington DC and Miami. He and his wife made the decision years ago, after losing their son, to remove all negative people in their life. Intentionally, they were making the decision to include and keep people in their lives that exude positivity. How do you respond when you are supporting someone: positive or negative? How do you show up at a meeting at work: positive or negative? How do you show up for a family dinner: positive or negative? Research indicates that you are more likeable if you are positive, ask questions about others, listen to the responses, and remember the details. Embrace and exude positivity.

January 29th Coaching Tip: More Cowbell!

Celebrate your wins. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate a tiny, small win. Hit the cowbell. Celebrate someone else’s big promotion. Pound that cowbell. Celebrate a new baby born. Again, more cowbell. Affirmation and recognition are deep-rooted needs within our souls. And today, I was reminded just how important recognition is. Picture a room full of highly confident leaders and wealthy individuals, who are in the top 1% of income earners in the USA. And yet, none of them were recognized for all of their hard work and efforts accomplished in 2024 (year prior). This was a huge miss by the leader running the meeting, because everyone was gathered for this “2025 Kickoff”. Recommend that you never miss an opportunity to recognize people, to hit that cowbell. No matter the place on earth, people want to be seen, be heard, and hear their name being recognized. More cowbell is like love, just never ever too much of it.

January 30th Coaching Tip: Develop Others.

Couple of my coaching meetings this week have been pleasantly surprising, as a couple senior leaders were planning for the legacy of their business, and we were openly discussing the development of the next generation. As leaders age and get asked, “when are you going to retire?”, it’s such a pleasant and affirming conversation to have with clients (and your team) about your intentional plans for the next generation. Both of these teams have added the next gen and have given them big jobs and significant responsibilities.

Someone probably gave you a shot or believed in you at some point, that may have changed your life. Return the favor as you age and give the same kind of development opportunity to someone younger. My godson reminded me recently of a business trip that he joined me on in the Fall 2015; we cris-crossed 6 states, visited offices, leaders, businesses, ate at nice country clubs, stopped quickly at gas stations to gas up and grab a drink, checked in to numerous hotels, etc. My godson indicated it was a life changing few days for him, and he learned so much in how to manage time, effort, clients, energy, and business. Take some time to develop others. We all deserve it.

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365 Coaching Tips: Day 22, 23 and 24

January 22nd Coaching Tip: Be Seen.

As I was watching a leader today, the day after a 3-day weekend, I noticed how she intentionally walked thru the office area and said hello, stopped and truly talked to her colleagues. They actually stood up and talked to her, shared what they did during their long weekend; smiles and laughs were present. Whether you’re a leader or a colleague, ask people about themselves and their lives. They appreciate being “seen”. As I watched the leader step away, a couple people said, “thank you for talking to us…it shows us that you care.”

January 23rd Coaching Tip: Be Heard.

Received an urgent Skype message today, i.e. “we need to get some time with you today to discuss an important situation.” This team is one who came to me 6 months ago and really shared their WHY and WHAT they want to accomplish. Thus, when they needed time today, we squeezed it in from 4-430pm on a Zoom. Indeed, it was important; they want to promote one of their colleagues and they wanted to practice and run-through the new role and gain clarity for her. After 25 minutes of listening to them and asking questions, they had the role clarified, were smiling, and a bit relieved as we wrapped up the call. If someone needs time with you, consider it a gift. They need someone to be “present”, and the best gift that you can give them is your “presence.” Let me them be heard, to help increase their confidence.

January 24th Coaching Tip: Be Efficient.

As a week winds down, it’s a common tendency to have the mindset of “let’s push it to early next week.” In my coaching work, I actually find that I can get a lot done before 10am on Friday mornings and also between 2-5pm. For example, I was able to squeeze in three, quick, efficient coaching sessions today. In a matter of 15-33 minutes, I was able to help all three situations.

Everyone is busy. Who has ever approached you in the last few years and said, “hey…I just don’t have enough to do” ? Like, let’s get real, no one. In being efficient today, I found that telling all three of them yes, I had a few minutes, we immediately became efficient with our time. They truly felt not only seen but heard, and realized I was ready to potentially help them thru their coaching situation. The greatest gift you can give to someone is your time, i.e. being present. And then when you can help them work thru a situation or two, and they can sleep better over the weekend, you have truly added value. Be efficient, and others will likely mirror your behavior, and be efficient, too.

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365 Coaching Tips: on to 19, 20 and 21

January 19th Coaching Tip: Friends Matter. We’ve all heard that phrase, “Sunday Funday!” Today, we rolled out of bed, didn’t take showers, and started whipping up some gluten free pancake mix, baked some bacon, got the omelet ingredients all prepped, and set out the dishes for a scheduled brunch with our best friends. They rolled in with similar hairdo’s, and somehow beautifully displayed a colorful platter of fresh fruit and brought an old-school orange squeezer to make some orange juice for mimosas.  We had this brunch planned for a week, as temperatures were plummeting and we decided to stay inside instead of going to see a college basketball game.  Glad that we stay committed to our bond of having a homemade brunch.  Brunch was plentiful and scrumptious, the food and friends, the warmth of the fire, the catching up, as it had been a few weeks since we all had been together.  Recent research is indicating that people are spending more time alone; more time on social media than ever before; depression and anxiety are both on the rise; and mental illness is now commonly discussed.  My recipe for a lot of these trends is to have something to look forward to, and do it with people that you love and care about.  Planning a simple lil Sunday brunch while wearing zero makeup with bad hair, allowed us to naturally connect, cook, and share. Plan things with your friends.  Friends matter.

January 20th Coaching Tip: Leverage Experts. In tackling a huge remodel of a 95-year-old home, I realized that I needed experts.  The ceilings were bowing, the floors were not flat, the stairs were not safe, the house was chopped up, and we are adding a garage, as well as some new windows, siding and doors.   I needed help! Enter in a general contractor, an interior designer, and an architect.  In working together, them listening to me and what I want in this farmhouse, and then hearing them regarding their ideas, we are really bringing this project together nicely.  With the architect’s quick eye, he gave the GC some ideas on how to improve the bowed ceilings and the uneven floors.  It’s done already.  The interior designer is pushing us all on functionality as well as the latest fashions, with the right flow.  I’m grateful for smart people, who can work collaboratively. Embrace others and improve results by leveraging expertise.   

January 21st Coaching Tip: Keep On-Track.  In my coaching work, many of my colleagues/coachees set goals…and then they don’t track results frequently enough.  As they get in to March and move thru May, they are already telling themselves if they can or cannot make their yearend numbers.  For the teams that I coach who set a goal to accomplish their results by summer or no later than Labor Day, they typically do it. How? They track their results daily, and definitely weekly and monthly. Many people annually give up on their new year’s resolution between January 18-27, so now is the time to keep and stay on track. Develop yourself a daily or weekly scorecard, and you will be amazed what you can accomplish. Keep on-track!

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365 Coaching Tips: here’s 16, 17 & 18

January 16 Coaching Tip: Clear Goals. In coaching a few teams in the last couple days, it was very evident to me that the team nor its leaders had any clear goals. In asking questions like, “what are you most pleased with from your work in 2024? where are you headed in 2025? And what will you do the same and also different in 2025?”, it really helped the teams figure out their goals. It also helped that we had plenty of time and were not rushed, so that we could really discuss and prioritize the goals. Truly asking questions, listening to their responses, giving time for all to speak, allowed for well understood goals that were much more cohesive and focused than the beginning of the coaching sessions. As we wrapped up, their three main goals started with the number eight: 80%, $800,000, and $80mil. I was so delighted that they were ready to meet again and continuously throughout 2025 to share their progress on their results. We went from having no goals to identifying well understood goals, and sensed a strong commitment to achieve them; this made me smile. Get clarity on your goals, whether personally or professionally.

January 17 Coaching Tip: Set Expectations. Since November, I’ve been working with new contractors to help me with a significant farmhouse remodel. New general and sub contractors, new interior designer, and a new architect are all helping me do this, as I’m in Florida working. In meeting with all of them, I’m clearly letting them know my expectations of what I want and need from them, as we remodel a nearly 100 year old home. For example, this home is old, and I want to honor it’s 1930’s farmhouse legacy with some new yet timeless touches. I also want 1930’s crooked floors and ceilings to be straight and level, for fashion, functionality and also safety. I want it to be clean, safe, and dry, and get the water draining away from the home. I want it to be thoughtful and functional, with what we defined as A- workmanship. It does not have to be perfect A+ work, but it must be better than B or B+ work. This clarity has really helped my new colleagues/contractors as we all make decisions together. If others around you don’t understand what you need or are expecting, it might be wise to look in the mirror. Set expectations and reinforce them regularly. And reward/recognize when those around you when they absolutely nail them!

January 18th Coaching Tip: Embrace Tools. Over the last couple years, many of my coaching sessions have been about capacity. For example, I very frequently hear comments like, “we are overwhelmed, we are busy, we need more people, we don’t have time, etc.” As I ask more questions about capacity, many times I have found that tools are not being utilized enough, even though some tools/IT/processes/support have already been paid for. I use this example regularly: “who still calls the taxicab service, reserves a car, hopes that the taxi comes on time to the proper address, the driver is pleasant, the car is clean and safe, and you arrive at your destination on time?” Few still do this, very few. Most are utilizing their cell phone to arrange a ride (with Lyft or Uber), and it can be done within seconds, with complete transparency, and the payment is automated and more secure. When I use this example, all of the sudden, the brains in the room start cranking…”what can we use to improve our capacity? what should we stop doing? what must we continue? what do we need to learn and be trained on to implement quickly?” Within 5-10 minutes, we can quickly identify a number of tools or processes that should be implemented immediately to gain capacity. That metaphor of, “I’m busy sawing, don’t have time to sharpen my saw…” is at play in numerous coaching sessions. Take some time and figure out how to embrace new tools, and utilize the ones that are and have been available.

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365 Coaching Tips: the 13th, 14th and 15th Days

January 13th Coaching Tip: Family Talks. In our coaching work, we help our colleagues/coachees as they prep for crucial conversations. In Kerry Patterson’s book, “Crucial Conversations,” most of these crucial convos don’t even happen, and then when they do, they don’t go well. Thus, we as coaches help our colleagues practice these important convos. Today, a husband and wife indicated that they want to bring on at least one of their two sons into their business. And yet, they had nothing in writing, nothing that either of them could confidently replicate with clarity. The husband and wife soon realized that they weren’t even on the same page. The mother wanted the son(s) to be “hungry” and the father wanted to be more “helpful” to his son(s). Thus, I encouraged them to get on the same page, draft it up, and then have a family talk with both sons, so that both sons heard the same message. Then, if either son wants to enter the business in the future and they discuss the opportunity further, the four of them would potentially have a more solid foundation. Remember, have those crucial family talks.

January 14th Coaching Tip: Plan Ahead. Whether its travel for work or vacation downtime, or getting groceries for a Sunday brunch planned with friends, or an early morning Uber ride to the airport, plan ahead. This week I’ll be in a number of hotels, crossing multiple state lines, and in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Thus, I planned ahead by truly looking at the map, understanding drive times and locations, and knowing when I need to be where. Thinking about my personal routines, I even bought my cold brew the night before, and got up this morning and was rollin’ with my favorite coffee while reading my devotionals. This allowed me to get ready and arrive to an unfamiliar office 20 minutes in advance (instead of rushing in to a coffee shop, and then being dissatisfied with my java). Knowing that I could walk to this office in just 2-3 minutes from the hotel that I picked (so that I wouldn’t even have to get in the car and drive/commute), I got my morning routine, breakfast, and workday started as normalized as I possibly could have done. Folks, plan ahead to help reduce stress and you’ll be surprised how much it increases your efficiency.

January 15th Coaching Tip: Stop Burnout. Start saying “no” to certain things and start saying “yes” to yourself. Today, I coached two teams who were “burned out, bored, (not thriving).” After listening to what was going on, they shared that they have too many clients, and many of those clients don’t pay them or are so simple and could be served by someone else more effectively and happily. Gently, we all looked at one another after I had them repeat what they said, “we have too many clients who consume our time and don’t pay us (much).” In my coaching work, we remind our coachees that it is YOUR business. You make the decisions. You select your clients. You can say “yes,” and you can also say, “no”. My recommendation is for you to clearly identify WHO you want to serve and then stick to it. Serve clients that make you smile, that you truly want to help, that take your advice/pay for your expertise, and you both grow from helping each other. Say YES to the right clients, and that will help reduce burnout.

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365 Coaching Tips: Now on day 7, 8 & 9

It takes commitment and consistent execution to implement a new habit, and I’m really liking this new habit of identifying a coaching tip (or trend) daily. We have made the first hurdle of a new habit, and that’s doing it intentionally for at least one week.

January 7 Coaching Tip: Be Specific. With the new year beginning and my coaching work is now ramping up, a number of my coaching sessions have been focused on “I want to grow my business.” I simply ask, “can you be more specific?” That’s when it can get quiet. The silence spurs more questions. Ultimately, these type of questions get asked: “how will you grow”, “how will you spend your time differently”, “who are you targeting”, “what should you not do this year”, “which type of clients do you want to replicate”. The more specific that you can be about what YOU want to accomplish, I find it’s more likely that you will be successful. And further research indicates that if you write the goal/specifics, you are much more likely to succeed. For example, I have post-it notes on my mirrors and desks that remind me of my quarterly goals. Everyday, I am looking at those specific goals.

January 8 Coaching Tip: Backup Plans. We don’t want to think about backup plans, but when we have them, we sure are happy when we can quickly and somewhat effortlessly put them in motion. Today, on two different occasions, I was working with coaching situations where there was no backup planning by the coachee; they had one plan and just assumed it would go the planned way. As I asked a few questions, I could quickly tell that they needed to think more broadly and thoughtfully, regarding a backup/2nd or even a 3rd scenario. One situation was already in turmoil and they were in triage mode, losing sleep, begging for assistance, etc. We quickly put together a plan for a 2nd and 3rd option in both cases. Backup plans are necessary for many stages in our life journey; don’t be surprised when things re-route you. Have a plan and be ready, or at least somewhat ready.

January 9 Coaching Tip: Measure Frequently. If any of my coachees want to execute on a new goal, I ask them, “what are you measuring, and how frequently are you measuring it?” For example, one of my coachees wants to grow their business by 15% in 2025. We talked about reviewing the results monthly, measuring progress weekly, and assessing and tracking daily activity that contributes to growth. For me, I have some goals this summer to be able to run faster. Therefore, I’m tracking three things daily: my VO2MAX level on my Apple watch, my weight every morning, and my times when I run sprints weekly. If my VO2MAX increases, and I weigh a bit less all while continuing to run my sprints, I should be running faster this summer that I ran in June 2024. Guess what, 9 days into the new year, and my VO2MAX has increased and I’ve dropped a pound or two. Progress, bit by bit.

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Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

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My One Word for 2025: Reduce

Yes, REDUCE.

Yes, I also use the phrase, “Just Go!” quite often. So why am I making the choice to select REDUCE as my word for 2025? Let me tell you all the reasons.

  1. Reduce plastic usage. Simply, plastic is not healthy, as more and more research is revealing how microplastics are in nearly every new baby born in the USA. What are a few new habits that I have already instituted in my daily routines: a) drinking my cold brew every morning now in a glass, not a plastic glass. b) utilizing a metal tea strainer instead of tea in a plastic tea bag. c) warming up food in the microwave on cookware, and not in plastic re-usable containers. d) carrying water in two metal containers throughout the day and refilling them, instead of having the urge to buy bottled water. e) all vehicles now have re-usable bags to carry groceries, to help reduce the plastic bag excess that is everywhere.
  2. Reduce my weight. In late July and early August, I intend to be running sprints and shooting baskets at the 2025 National Senior Games in Des Moines, Iowa. My goal is to drop down to 148 pounds, so that I can run just a bit quicker against these fast senior women from across the USA. As for habits, a) I must continue my 2024 habit more consistently of writing down daily my food intake as well as my exercise and weighing myself daily. When I do these three things daily, I lose weight. b) I must buy clean eating groceries, i.e. greens, sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, much less chocolate, etc. c) I must reduce having the urge every single day to have some chocolate. Instead, have a piece of fruit or a strawberry or a piece of gum, make a cup of tea, or have a diet ginger ale.
  3. Reduce my food intake, especially reducing sugar. See #2. The sugar addiction that I have, along with many others, can be reduced when I set my mind to do it. New habits: a) Just say NO to chocolate and say YES to naturally sweet items like fruit. b) We love chocolate covered strawberries, so that may be the new “treat” while we reduce chocolate and sugar. c) eat less, as it is much better for my colon-less system. I feel better when I eat less.
  4. Reduce work drama. Not sure if I will work til 75 years old, 70, 65, or 61, but there’s zero need to get caught up in work drama. Just do my work and be grateful for the impacts that I make with my coaching work. New habit in 2025: just don’t engage and smile/nod, press forward.
  5. Reduce my jogging pace/mile and sprinting times. See #2. My goal is to be a role model for others, as a senior athlete. That means I need to be a bit quicker and also remain safe, i.e. no injuries and be healthy. I must continue my 2024 habits of regularly doing sprints and high intensity interval training a couple times per week, and my lifting and strength training also a couple times weekly. Also want to gather some advice from some other sprinters and runners on how to run quicker.
  6. Reduce screen time. The amount of time that we all are spending on screen time/scrolling is ridiculous. Of course it’s helpful when I’m intentionally staying in touch with family and friends, and keeping up with my work and real estate inquiries and projects. However, reading before I go to bed is going to be a new 2025 habit. Read a devotional or 10-20 pages of a book. I really like history, geography, and travel books, so it’s time to consume them.

Reduce. I like the sound of it. What’s YOUR word for 2025? What are your new habits to help make it a reality?

Happy New Year and here’s hoping that you have a great year with special times and superb health. Coach Jen

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Know Your No’s

Sometimes, it’s best to simply say, “No” and know why you said “No.” Recently, with the holidays on us, and Christmas landed on a Wednesday, I just to had to say “No” and just hang out with my mom on Christmas Day. Why? Because we both needed to enjoy the day and do absolutely nothing, except watch the fire, listen to Christmas music, be grateful, eat some warm soup, and cheer for some ball games on TV.

Typically, I would have said, “Yes” to going somewhere on Christmas Day. But mom and I were both ok with it. She had spent two quality days with my brothers’ families, and she got to meet her new great granddaughter. We both have had said yes many times recently, and yet we both had said no. Plus, I had spent time traveling on December 24th early morning, and then spent time with mom and my brother’s family the rest of the day. Earlier in December, we all spent a weekend together to celebrate a late Thanksgiving. That was a great time, with super connections and mom giving everyone in our family a tour of her home, sharing the many stories that come along with all the many personal items in her home. The family truly soaked it all up, as it was a “Yes” moment.

It was good to say, “No.” On the Christmas night, I slept so much better because I rested all day, ate better, and got some exercise. When I shared with my other family members that I had a couple rough evenings prior to Christmas, they quickly understood me saying, “No.”

Know your why behind your “NO”. If you don’t, and can’t explain it, then it makes it hard for you and others to understand.

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In The Next 100 Days, I Will…

This is the week in January when New Year’s Resolutions stop, stall, or become unrealistic for most people. Back on January 1, just 21 days ago, these were invigorating ideas to attack with energy in 2019. Things have changed. So what is getting in the way of these resolutions? Why are they losing steam? Now what do you need to do?

In our coaching work, we find that New Year’s Resolutions lose steam due to a variety of reasons. We also find that the art of delegation and accountability is tied to how you ask questions and give clarity around when, who, what, and why.

WHEN. When do you want to accomplish your goal? It’s a simple question, but the most critical one that is typically not understood. Many goals are set, and are missing a date. Thus, the goal keeps getting pushed out or not achieved, because a date was never set. That’s why it’s a great tactic to state, “In the Next 100 Days, I will...” When we force ourselves to identify what WE will do in a more defined time period, we tend to be more successful. Just try it and simply ask, “When does this need to be done?”

WHO. Who can help hold you accountable? Having a partner, teammate or coach will help you push through barriers, and sometimes even help you get there more quickly and smoothly. Who can help you with their expertise, and are you asking for it?

WHAT. Goals that are specific and truly have some ummph behind them tend to be achieved than ambiguous or unrealistic goals. For example, if I want to weigh in the 150s this year. I want to get there, and before the end of April. Why? Because I want to feel and look better, while at the lake in the late spring and all summer. Before that though, we head to the Florida beaches right after Easter. So it’s time to get serious and be wise on portions: reduce one meal every day to simply fruit and a small handful of nuts, and also increase my exercise to at least 10,000 steps every single day.

WHY. Plenty of goals are loosely defined, i.e. “lose 10 pounds.” However, when we add some why and purpose behind it, these goals tend to be MUCH more achievable. Let’s take my simple, “weigh in the 150s this year.” WHY is that so important? Because in the summer of 2018, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at just 53 years old. My doctors gave me a list of things to ensure that I do for the next few decades of my life, and one of the specifics was “weigh in the 150s, carry less weight on your briddle bones, and strength train so that your muscles are strong to carry your body/weight.” DONE. That’s all I needed to hear.

What’s YOUR WHY? Name it. And then state, “In the next 100 days, I will...”

p.s. Many thanks to Dr. Kevin Elko’s message here in Indianapolis last week. He inspired me to write this blog. He asked the crowd to say out loud, “In the next 90 days, I will…” MANY thanks to Dr. Elko for his reminders on what we CAN do. Follow him on twitter @DrKevinElko