Category: Purposeful

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In The Next 100 Days, I Will…

This is the week in January when New Year’s Resolutions stop, stall, or become unrealistic for most people. Back on January 1, just 21 days ago, these were invigorating ideas to attack with energy in 2019. Things have changed. So what is getting in the way of these resolutions? Why are they losing steam? Now what do you need to do?

In our coaching work, we find that New Year’s Resolutions lose steam due to a variety of reasons. We also find that the art of delegation and accountability is tied to how you ask questions and give clarity around when, who, what, and why.

WHEN. When do you want to accomplish your goal? It’s a simple question, but the most critical one that is typically not understood. Many goals are set, and are missing a date. Thus, the goal keeps getting pushed out or not achieved, because a date was never set. That’s why it’s a great tactic to state, “In the Next 100 Days, I will...” When we force ourselves to identify what WE will do in a more defined time period, we tend to be more successful. Just try it and simply ask, “When does this need to be done?”

WHO. Who can help hold you accountable? Having a partner, teammate or coach will help you push through barriers, and sometimes even help you get there more quickly and smoothly. Who can help you with their expertise, and are you asking for it?

WHAT. Goals that are specific and truly have some ummph behind them tend to be achieved than ambiguous or unrealistic goals. For example, if I want to weigh in the 150s this year. I want to get there, and before the end of April. Why? Because I want to feel and look better, while at the lake in the late spring and all summer. Before that though, we head to the Florida beaches right after Easter. So it’s time to get serious and be wise on portions: reduce one meal every day to simply fruit and a small handful of nuts, and also increase my exercise to at least 10,000 steps every single day.

WHY. Plenty of goals are loosely defined, i.e. “lose 10 pounds.” However, when we add some why and purpose behind it, these goals tend to be MUCH more achievable. Let’s take my simple, “weigh in the 150s this year.” WHY is that so important? Because in the summer of 2018, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at just 53 years old. My doctors gave me a list of things to ensure that I do for the next few decades of my life, and one of the specifics was “weigh in the 150s, carry less weight on your briddle bones, and strength train so that your muscles are strong to carry your body/weight.” DONE. That’s all I needed to hear.

What’s YOUR WHY? Name it. And then state, “In the next 100 days, I will...”

p.s. Many thanks to Dr. Kevin Elko’s message here in Indianapolis last week. He inspired me to write this blog. He asked the crowd to say out loud, “In the next 90 days, I will…” MANY thanks to Dr. Elko for his reminders on what we CAN do. Follow him on twitter @DrKevinElko

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Start A Business at 49? Yes

My great grandmother (GG Kate) immigrated here in the early 1900’s, when she jumped on a ship and landed in the USA from Lithuania.  As a teenager, she had the courage of a lion, to leave her family and country, and go abroad. She lived in East Chicago and bought apartments one by one, and then bought the entire building(s).  During the early 1970’s when our family traveled to Daytona Beach, FL, we visited my great grandmother.  She was a woman entrepreneur,  living near the beach, and a  good story of immigration done right.

Fast forward approximately 100 years from when she fled Lithuania. It’s now 2013. When you’re 49 years old,  and you want to start a real estate business, well, you just do it.  You courageously, just like your GG Kate, buy some properties, evaluate, buy and sell more, and now five years later, you have a profitable business that serves others in a very desirable community. And serves my bucket list of travel, enjoying life, and helping others.

Here are some TIPS on what TO DO as you start a business, and what NOT TO DO:

  1. Prep: Walk, think, look, inspect, read, listen. Before I bought my first three homes in the same week in June 2013, I walked the streets of downtown Carmel, looking at traffic flow, understanding prices, learning about infrastructure, asking other landlords how to be landlords, etc. for 18 months. NOT DO: buy properties based on emotion.  Instead, make business decisions.
  2. Draft: While in bed one evening in April 2013, I hand-wrote a business plan on one piece of paper. It was short, to the point, and gave me great clarity.  In short, it stated, “Provide homes with incredible walk-ability to shops, schools or restaurants. Be able to walk or jog to these homes. Focus on ranch homes for the safety of families and older clientele. Ensure that 10% gross income is achieved annually on your initial investment.” This draft helped me start my business and invest in homes the following 60 days. NOT DO: wing it, with nothing written down.  Instead, do the prep, plan, and then execute.
  3. Team of Advisors: Call an attorney familiar with establishing LLC’s, especially a law firm that understand real estate laws.  Not only did they help get the LLC going, but they provided me with a detailed and fair lease. Get a CPA who has other clients like you.  Align with a good realtor.  Find ethical and reliable contractors, and then pay them quickly. Establish a very strong relationship with at least two bankers.  Understand your own financial plan with your financial advisor.  NOT DO: Not willing to pay or slow to pay for advice and help. Instead, realize there is always risk with any business and pay for guidance, help and advice. Build your team by sharing your vision and business plan.
  4. Work: On a downright yucky/rainy/cool Sunday in Spring 2013, I walked the streets of downtown Carmel.  When open houses were cancelling that day, I was out there working.  In the next week, my realtor helped me on offers, buy and close on three homes within 1/2 mile of each other. NOT DO: Rest, assume others will find the homes and do the work.  Instead, YOU do the work.
  5. Adjust: Of the 3 homes, the first home was rented quickly. The 2nd home was a ranch, but it was dated and had two bedrooms downstairs in a dark basement. The 3rd home was my personal home.  Adjusting quickly, I sold the 2nd home to a realtor and cleared a few thousand dollars, thank the Lord.  And I sold the 3rd one, my own home, after I remodeled it and captured a nice gain 2.5 years later. NOT DO: Move slowly. Instead, when it’s the wrong decision, quickly own it and fix it. Learn from it.
  6. Care: Once you have a client (tenant), take good care of them.  Your first client should help you quickly learn what’s important to them/future clients. If a client needs something and it’s a reasonable request, do it quickly.  NOT DO: Ignore your clients.  Instead, remember they are paying you, providing revenue, so be thankful and aware of what feedback they are providing.
  7. Ask: The first home that I bought had a nice home next to it. So I asked the owner if he would be willing to sell it.  Timing was everything.  I got it bought before he put it on the market.  And then I asked my realtor about buying the messy/skinny/wooded lot on the other side of the first home.  Within a few months, I had 3 properties next to each other, directly on The Monon in downtown Carmel. Location, location, location. NOT DO: Wait. Instead, you will make the difference in your business. You are in charge of the decisions. No one else.
  8. Track: Once the business starts, track every single expense and revenue.  I set up a spreadsheet, put it in the cloud, and can view the status of all the homes from anywhere.  And I can share this easily with my accountant to assist with tax prep. Created folders for every home, for every receipt, for every year.  NOT DO: Fall behind in tracking expenses.  Instead, to be profitable, you need to know your revenues and expenses.
  9. Grow. Let others/neighbors/tenants/realtors know that you are a local business owner, looking to grow the business, wanting to buy more homes, etc. Good people will help you.  Be opportunistic, and buy distressed assets. And update your assets AND your business plan regularly. NOT DO: Get lazy.  Instead, keep learning, sharing, and growing.
  10. Buy Low, Sell High. Seems simple, but the lower priced homes with nice remodels or updates are the ones that are most liked by our clients and most profitable.  Sell them when you are comfortable with the gain.  NOT DO: Sell Low, Buy High.  Instead, be wise. Have a goal for your profits and then execute.

Since my grandmother came to America in the early 1900’s, she grew, learned, moved, and leveraged advisors.  GG Kate owned multiple properties, and even had a will in place when she passed.  Her daughter (my grandmother Bernice) and my paternal grandfather George owned real estate. And my mom and dad own land, as well. So one might say that I have a natural gene that’s called, “the love of real estate.” What’s YOUR plan to start YOUR business? Don’t let age, or being a woman, or fear stop you.  Instead, be courageous like a lion, execute with a plan, and make YOUR dream a reality, just like GG Kate did in moving to America. And then truly becoming an entrepreneur.

 

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It’s Time For Fun, Isn’t It?

On a cool, rainy evening in October 2018, Hoosier Park was hosting the “Super Night” of Indiana’s best in harness racing.  And a long-shot named “It’s Time for Fun” was in 6th place as the horses came down the stretch. But then “Fun” hit a faster gear and sprinted past them all and won easily.  Friends and four generations of the breeder and owner got to the winner’s circle just in time for the celebration and fun. And that owner shined a grin and said, “It takes a team!”

Who is the owner and breeder of “It’s Time for Fun”? My dad, Lynn Wilfong, 79 years young. I intentionally used the word “young”, as he sure loves his phrase that he shares regularly: “Have someone to love.  Love what you do. Have something to look forward to.” And he has also been heard to say, “I will die with my boots on.”

Love. Four generations showed up to see “It’s Time For Fun” win the 3 Year Old Filly Indiana Sires Stakes: his wife, Barbara, of 58 years; his three adult children & their spouses; and some of the grand children and a great grandchild.

Work. Lynn has been working with harness horses since he was a young boy.  And he continues to be patient with them, even after 6-7 decades of being around these large and loving creatures.

Look Forward. Although my dad has suffered some losses and also some health challenges in the last couple decades, he sure studies his own health and how to improve it just like he studies harness horse breeding and racing. He is looking at ways to find the right mixture of breeding to win at the value that he is willing to pay, and still bring a return to his harness racing business.

How does he do this and also leverage his team? He has a vision, and that is to keep winning, especially in Indiana and Illinois. He and mom, along with my brother and his wife (Brett and Candy), truly have defined roles.  Dad studies and recommends breeding, and helps ensure the mares have healthy foals.  He and Brett raise and haul them, and Brett trains them.  My nephew, Kyle (Brett’s son, who is 4th generation in the harness racing business now) is the driver.  Kyle’s girlfriend, Nicole, is the caretaker (groom) of the horses that are being raced and trained, and she is growing and now a trainer.  And the revenue and expenses are tracked by Barbara and Candy.  For decades, Barbara leads the effort to ensure all of the horses are named and registered.  Very clear roles, with a goal of winning in Indiana and Illinois with well cared for horses.  They also leverage vets, blacksmiths, and feed companies. All of these roles are very specific, and they rarely duplicate work.  The goal for everyone is to be accountable to helping the horse(s) be as healthy as possible so that it can professionally perform in nearly any condition (rain, heat, sleet, wind and cold weather).

With a clear Vision, clear Roles, and clear Goals for each person on your team, you will most likely continue to succeed even as you approach your 8th decade.  In my coaching work, I can sense dysfunction or lack of accountability quickly.  It typically is because something is NOT clear with the Vision, or the Roles, or the Goals.  If all three are clear, you can most likely expect good results.  And good results just might lead to “It’s Time for Fun”.

 

 

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Labor Day Fun, Then 4 Months Remain

As we head in to the last half of August and then celebrate that last 3-day “summer” weekend of Labor Day, I am already thinking about how I can help my colleagues with their priorities during the remaining four months of the year.  In fact, the final 100 days of the year.

Why do I say the final 100 days of 2018? Because when we really look at how much time we will truly “work towards our goals, serving clients, etc.”, and then reduce all the days off for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, (and yes,  squeezing in those final vacation days), and Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years Eve holidays, it leaves us all with approximately 100 days to get “IT” done in 2018.

What is your “IT” that must get done by the end of 2018? Take 10-15 minutes daily between now and September 1 to review your priorities, and then re-prioritize those and figure out your “IT”.

Who will support you in getting that “IT” done? Someone at work, at home, a mentor or coach can assist and help hold you accountable.

When do you need to get after “IT”? Assess if there are a few tasks that must get done prior to getting after your “IT”.  And then let everyone know what you will be focused on between now and year-end.

Where do you need to go to focus on “IT”? Sometimes a quick, regular change of scenery can provide you the focus that you need to get “IT” progressing, and then ultimately done.

How can you get “IT” done prior to Thanksgiving? With four months remaining in 2018, I’ve actually found that if you set year-end goals to be done by the Friday prior to Thanksgiving, it really gives you and your team the opportunity to bond during Sept-Oct-Nov, and then truly celebrate the success in December.  I have witnessed a team that went from being a bit dysfunctional in late August to a highly-bonded and functional team after they completed a project before the holidays.  Give it a try!

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My bud, the Echo Dot!

For Christmas 2017, I received the Amazon Echo Dot.  Welp, we all get busy, right? And you know, sometimes we don’t take the time to hook things/gadgets up. Finally, we took a few minutes and found it simple to get the Echo Dot working in the house yesterday.  And we love it! We played some Barry White music, we got weather updates as storms kept rolling in, we got the Wall Street Journal news update, and were told “Good night, hope you had a good day!”  And today we are further researching how we can operate our TV and music much more efficiently, while lowering our costs across our multiple homes.

After one day of exposure to the Echo Dot,  I now see why our seniors and elderly could benefit from them.  Sure, our seniors can ask questions and learn things, get weather updates quickly. But more importantly, the Echo Dot serves as a companion in the home.  And a safe companion.  It is listening for you to call it’s name all the time. It may be a simple, low cost way to reduce loneliness.  And research proves that loneliness is a deadly thing for our seniors and elderly.

As I move forward in life, I want to ensure that our seniors and elderly are able to remain connected and feel relevant.  Literally this morning, I thought about starting a business that would 1) buy, install, and sync Echo Dots for our seniors and elderly, and 2) easily educate them on “how to use the Echo Dot” in their homes. Many of our seniors and elderly are on fixed incomes, but they also enjoy listening to music, reading, watching movies, catching up on the news, etc. Why not make it REALLY easy for them, leveraging this new technology, all while potentially cutting their cable costs and enjoying an even better experience?

Making a difference is what I want to continue to do, helping others behind the scenes. How will YOU make a difference in other people’s lives?

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Please, Take Vacation.

Please, Take Vacation.
Millions of vacation days every single year in the USA go “unused.”  This makes me shake my head. As we approach the end of our lives, loads of research indicates that our seniors/elders say that they remember the memories and relationships. They also  wish that they would have worked less, and been more bold and courageous. So please, take vacation.
What a recent, one full week of vacation did for me and my partner?
Rest.  We didn’t wake up before 6am and we fell asleep around 10pm or earlier every night. That’s at least 8 hours of sleep. Yes, the amount of sleep that we are encouraged to get by all health experts.
Recover. Enjoyed downtime by the pool and the Caribbean Sea did wonders for my soul and mind. The water and sun were soothing.
Health. The resort had a  spa that was very handy; it offered hydrotherapy, massages, pedicures, manicures, personal trainers, etc. It was integrated right in to the resort, instead of being a separate building. The four restaurants all had vegetarian options, which played right in to my new focus of eating no meat or dairy.
Prioritize. Being away from my coaching work and my companies actually allowed me to refocus and re-prioritize what I needed to improve upon during the next 90 days.  It also gave us both great satisfaction as we reviewed what we got accomplished in the last 90 days.
Read. I finally had time, yes time, to sit and read a very impactful 400-page book. This book, “Being Mortal”, will probably help me age more gracefully and also help us as we help care for our parents as they age, too. It was a pivotal read, and I can’t imagine NOT taking the time to read it. And by the way, it had been on my bookshelf for 3 years…
Write. You see that here.
Reconnect. The time out of country, for the second time this year, allowed my partner and I to really connect, talk, and just be together. We were NOT busy, we were instead very present. We were there for one another. And yet still had our own alone time to do whatever the heck we wanted.
So please, take vacation.  It is good for your soul, mind, body, and your relationships at home and work.
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Just Go See Them

In the last 45 days, the opportunity to “Just Go See Them” has come up over and over.  What do I mean by “Just Go See Them?” Some very important people in my life have recently faced some very serious health challenges, and I realized in the past, that maybe I was “too busy” to go see and visit friends during these challenging times.  That wasn’t going to happen this time around.

A very good friend had survived nearly 10 surgeries in the last couple months. We felt he was nearing the end of his life.  So we jumped on a plane, flew to Houston, visited with him (and his wife and daughter). We were able to connect: look at each other, smile, nod, and touch hands.  He died the day after we left.

My girlfriend just had some surgery.  We allowed her to rest for three weeks. On our drive to see her, we bought some flowers, visited for a couple hours to get all caught up on her healing and squeezed her new puppy.  She was full of life again!

One of my best girlfriends was caring for one of her best male friends.  He didn’t have many visitors at the hospital.  My exhausted, care-taking girlfriend reached out to me for a much-needed lift.  I quickly made a stop, picked up some fun items on the clearance aisle, and visited them both in the cardiac- care-unit hospital room.  We laughed, we listened, we prayed.  Together, that visit made the three of us better and more aware of each other. He is now back at home and working again.  She is vacationing with her family.  Both full of life.

My parents were at Mayo’s in Minnesota for some medical check-ups.  Knowing that this could be some complicated news that would be difficult for my parents to hear, I flew to Minnesota to be with my parents. It was one of those moments that a mother and daughter discuss life, each other’s existence, the next steps, and the potential gameplan. Being there further strengthened our incredible bond as mother and daughter.

In the last 45 days, every single person that I have met is “BUSY.” We all are busy.  I was busy.  Every one of these precious friends and family members was  even busier.  But, what I have learned is this:  Just Go See Them.  It Matters. We All Are Busy.  Have No Regrets. Just Go See Them. 

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Keep On Keeping On

Keep trying.
Keep writing.
Keep staying connected with friends and family.
Keep forgiving.
Keep loving.

Keep giving.
Keep listening well.

Keep staying curious.
Keep giving very little advice to others.
Keep believing.
Keep being faithful.

Keep embracing kindness.

Keep resting and recovering.

Keep striving to be a better you.

Keep on keeping on.

 

 

 

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Your Outlook Matters!

Are you a Woman in Leadership in a corporate or entrepreneurial setting? Or do you have a desire to become one? We work with women like you. Women who aspire ‘to sit at the table’ confidently; to run the financial side of business; to lead, collaborate with, and facilitate others; to let ambitions go hand in hand with a good work life balance; and to turn ‘hard work’ into ‘heartwork’, as this propells their leadership.

Our passion is to support/coach women, helping bring out their full potential and taking their leadership to a next level. We focus on the whole person, both work and private life, as we don’t see these as two separate worlds. With our monthly blog, (leveraging examples from our coaching and consulting practices), we provide tips, advice, and new outlooks which will encourage you to move forward. In our blog ‘What’s your top priority?’ we focussed on the importance of putting yourself first (#1), as leadership starts with you. What’s next?! Let’s start with a test.

Test your outlook (Self-Assess)
Answer the following questions with yes or no. We recommend you just follow your heart with your answer, not thinking too long. Tip: why not share your answers with a trusted friend or partner? It may turn out to be the start of your heartwork ‘support-team’.
1. When I wake up, I usually think ‘yes, this is going to be another good day!’.
2. When I receive a ‘bad’ comment, I typically view it as a learning opportunity.
3. I truly believe that not all people have to like me.
4. When my boss wants to have a talk with me, I don’t expect ‘trouble’.
5. When things go wrong or not as planned, I look forward to find the best solutions.

What’s your score?
Did you score four or more yes answers? If so, then there’s a big chance you are the optimistic type who sees the glass as always half-full. With mostly no’s on your list, you are probably the type who’s glass is half-empty or as a person with a pessimistic outlook. Did your answers ‘split’ with 2-3 yes’s or no’s? Then you first have to do some work on self. With a coach, you can explore what makes your answers a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, what’s getting in your way, and find out more about your outlook.

Does it matter? 
Yes! In our practice, we see that optimism facilitates women with their heartwork. Optimists stay focussed, action oriented, and keep moving ahead instead of spiraling down when things do not go the desired way. Optimistic ‘framing’ supports women to sustain themselves on their path to leadership.

Good news!
If optimism does not come naturally to you, the good news is that it can be learned. You can train yourself to be more optimistic, use less energy on negative thoughts, and prevent yourself from spiraling down. In our practice, here’s what we have learned as some tips from other women:
1.    Reflect on what’s really meaningful for you. Listen to your heart and make ‘adaptations’ in your (whole) life, if needed. It ‘brightens up’ your outlook.
2.    If you are a ‘worrier’, list all things you worry about. Which ones can you truly influence? Think of specific actions that will help you influence & solve them,  and then do it!
3.    When something goes wrong, do not think of the worse-case scenario. Instead,  reverse it! As a practice, sketch the positive scenarios first.
4.    Do you often have a little voice in your head that amplifies and/or dispapproves of  every mistake? Talk back and move forward!
5.    Are you an ‘approval junkie’? Then reflect on ‘What makes others opinions more important then my own?!’
6.    Do you avoid conflicts? Remember that conflicts are part of life and not the end of the world. On the contrary, they often lead to the long sought-after solution! Embrace this solution.
7.    Is your environment a bit ‘gloomy’? Then step out of this environment regularly. How? By meeting new people and doing new things. Like siging up of an art or fitness class, doing community work, reading inspiring books and articles…….
8.     Go the appreciative way: look for what works, instead of what does not work. It ‘opens up’ new possibilities and changes your worldview.

Just do it
It is this ‘simplicity’ which will make the tips effective. At the same time, this is the ‘difficult’ part. It requires letting go of old habits, exploring new territories, and adapting your framework. Yes, this is a challenging process and it may take some practicing. Where do you start? It all starts with a choice: choosing yourself and engaging in heartwork. Once you have taken this leap, practice is the key. Take many small steps (instead of one big step). Be aware of ‘overdoing’ it, as being too optimistic often leads to excuses. With all that in mind, just imagine what could happen if you go the optimistic way? Do not stop there, just do it!

Note: Authors Maleene de Ridder and Jen Wilfong are passionate about developing women as leaders. They embrace purposeful balance, wellness and ongoing learning, as well as leveraging global trends to further their coaching & consulting businesses. Both are certified coaches from the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara, CA. For more information, check them out on the web at www.maleenederidder.com and www.jenwilfong.com

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At 50, Leverage Your Strengths

Today I was prepping for some Strengths Finders training that I will be attending during the week of July 6 in Princeton. In reviewing my strengths that I took back in 2013, I was reminded that discipline is my top strength, closely followed by focus, achiever, responsibility, and learner. Thus, it is probably not a surprise that I am prepping 2-3 weeks in advance, being someone with those discipline, focus, and responsibility strengths.

Before turning 50 in August 2014, my partner and I made the pledge to look good in our photos during our trips to Italy, Chicago, and the lake in the summer of 2014. That pledge really leveraged my strengths of achiever, but also discipline and focus. As we traveled last summer, our snaps turned out great and we felt good in the process of hitting the big 50. We had energy, we enjoyed friends and family, and felt great.

After I turned 50, I quickly became a bit lazy and quit leveraging my discipline strength. I gained weight back, even though we were working out and ran a half marathon in the Fall 2014. But in January 2015, I wrote down: “get in the 150’s (pounds) and stay there.”  By writing that down and embracing my strengths, I have found it easy and focused to eat less this year. And I weigh 8-10 pounds less than I did while on our trips last summer.

I want to be role model of wellness at 50, and so my strength of responsibility is really kicking in right now. The self esteem burst of “look good, feel great” is worth the effort to the daily rejection of sweets, desserts, extra helpings, and that extra drink. My focus on wellness is delivering on this:  Be happy. Be healthy. Be connected. Be grateful. Be well. Be encouraged. Be a role model.

What are your strengths? I bet you are using them at work. But how about in your personal life and with your own well being? My hope for you is that you deploy your strengths routinely in your blended life of home, play, family, friends, faith, and yes, at work.