May 1st Coaching Tip: Listen Deeply.
It’s one thing to say, “Yeah, I’m a good listener.” But it’s another thing to demonstrate it. Today, a group of us listened to a business leader of 20 people share how his team embraces their purpose in their business by deeply listening to help improve the quality of (financial) lives of the families they serve. One of the attendees kinda smirked, raised his hand, and asked, “how do you listen deeply?” The leader thanked the attendee for the question and then shared with the entire room all the different exercises, training, and coaching that his team has invested in. Then to further make his point, he shared an amazing example that quieted the room, as he had everyone’s attention on the power of listening of one of his teammate’s and how it can helped transform a challenging client relationship into a very satisfied client.
Listening is simple: ask questions that start with the words how, what, when, who, and where (try to stay away from why questions). Then, stay present as the questions are answered. Ask follow-up questions on what you heard, so that the convo can go deeper. Refrain from compiling YOUR answer in your head. Listen, then ask for more info. Then a bit later, if necessary, you can ask for permission to provide a couple insights. However, by listening thoroughly, give yourself time to evaluate what you are hearing; sometimes, as the listener, you don’t have to say anything. The person speaking can many times figure out their gameplan or fully vent, proceed, and be thankful for you listening. Instead of listening to answer others, listen deeply.
May 2nd Coaching Tip: Psychological Safety.
In front of nearly 20 leaders, I had the opportunity to share what makes great teams perform better than other teams. With a compilation of research, I mentioned one of the top factors was that team members needed to feel safe to truly share their feelings about their work and their work environment. One of the leaders in the room who leads with a bit of the “stick” more than others in the room interrupted our conversation and went on a rant about empathy. It was clear that he didn’t believe in empathy for others. When he was done ranting, I opened up the discussion in the room. Other leaders jumped in and said the best way to get people on your side and to gain buy-in is to first to understand them and their situation. One leader even indicated that if you check-in, listen, and follow up, you don’t even have to show empathy or act like you’re being empathetic. The fact that you checked in, listened, and followed up later on, shows that you care. These acts create psychological safety for them/team members to share with you. When the going gets tough or when the road is smooth and fast, give others the space and safety to respectfully share with you what’s really going on. This psychological safety will most likely help drive winning results for your team.
May 3rd Coaching Tip: Derby Day!
Although I grew up on a standardbred horse farm, I really love watching the Triple Crown thoroughbred races. Since today was Derby Day, felt it would be fun to celebrate a little bit by making some mint juleps in the mid-afternoon and invite the neighbors over. Connie and Tony came over; they had never made nor had ever drank a mint julep. We got to work and had a blast doing it. We muddled fresh mint leaves with the simple syrup, then added the bourbon and ice. While shaking them, oops, we made a mess. We added more ingredients and more ice, then sat down to drinking these yummy mint juleps, watching the pre-race chatter and races, and we really learned more and more about our next-door neighbors. After a couple mint juleps, I learned about their beloved grandkids and the business that their son now runs for them. As it approached closer to 5pm, off they went to get all dressed up for a Derby Party. Celebrate life by making moments with your neighbors. It was Derby Day and now my neighbors know that I grew up on a horse farm in Indiana, with a deep love of horse racing and basketball. Celebrate traditions and make deeper relationships,,,It’s Derby Day.