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365 Coaching Tips: the 13th, 14th and 15th Days

January 13th Coaching Tip: Family Talks. In our coaching work, we help our colleagues/coachees as they prep for crucial conversations. In Kerry Patterson’s book, “Crucial Conversations,” most of these crucial convos don’t even happen, and then when they do, they don’t go well. Thus, we as coaches help our colleagues practice these important convos. Today, a husband and wife indicated that they want to bring on at least one of their two sons into their business. And yet, they had nothing in writing, nothing that either of them could confidently replicate with clarity. The husband and wife soon realized that they weren’t even on the same page. The mother wanted the son(s) to be “hungry” and the father wanted to be more “helpful” to his son(s). Thus, I encouraged them to get on the same page, draft it up, and then have a family talk with both sons, so that both sons heard the same message. Then, if either son wants to enter the business in the future and they discuss the opportunity further, the four of them would potentially have a more solid foundation. Remember, have those crucial family talks.

January 14th Coaching Tip: Plan Ahead. Whether its travel for work or vacation downtime, or getting groceries for a Sunday brunch planned with friends, or an early morning Uber ride to the airport, plan ahead. This week I’ll be in a number of hotels, crossing multiple state lines, and in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. Thus, I planned ahead by truly looking at the map, understanding drive times and locations, and knowing when I need to be where. Thinking about my personal routines, I even bought my cold brew the night before, and got up this morning and was rollin’ with my favorite coffee while reading my devotionals. This allowed me to get ready and arrive to an unfamiliar office 20 minutes in advance (instead of rushing in to a coffee shop, and then being dissatisfied with my java). Knowing that I could walk to this office in just 2-3 minutes from the hotel that I picked (so that I wouldn’t even have to get in the car and drive/commute), I got my morning routine, breakfast, and workday started as normalized as I possibly could have done. Folks, plan ahead to help reduce stress and you’ll be surprised how much it increases your efficiency.

January 15th Coaching Tip: Stop Burnout. Start saying “no” to certain things and start saying “yes” to yourself. Today, I coached two teams who were “burned out, bored, (not thriving).” After listening to what was going on, they shared that they have too many clients, and many of those clients don’t pay them or are so simple and could be served by someone else more effectively and happily. Gently, we all looked at one another after I had them repeat what they said, “we have too many clients who consume our time and don’t pay us (much).” In my coaching work, we remind our coachees that it is YOUR business. You make the decisions. You select your clients. You can say “yes,” and you can also say, “no”. My recommendation is for you to clearly identify WHO you want to serve and then stick to it. Serve clients that make you smile, that you truly want to help, that take your advice/pay for your expertise, and you both grow from helping each other. Say YES to the right clients, and that will help reduce burnout.

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365 Coaching Tips: Days 10, 11 & 12

January 10 Coaching Tip: Practice. Yes, I said practice. This week, I had a number of people call me to practice their upcoming crucial conversations or new scripts that they want to utilize in 2025 to help grow their business. In a matter of just a few minutes, confidence grew. One person needed help pulling together their talking points and a timeline for the huge decision they are making to retire in about 18 months; I listened to them as they practiced, and they became more and more confident as they got more clear and organized in their thoughts. Another person needed help with removing exhausting clients who pay very little but take a lot of time; after a few practice conversations, he felt affirmed in what he was saying and was ready to share it with the exhausting clients. As for me, practicing my sprints a couple times a week in helping me build confidence that I can run sprints in my 60’s without getting hurt. So, bottom line: Practice!

January 11 Coaching Tip: Challenge Yourself. It’s amazing what you CAN DO, if you just challenge yourself a bit more. For example, if you only have 15 minutes to get a task done, isn’t it amazing how efficient you can become and get the bulk of the task done? I find this in my life if friends are on their way/close by/gonna drop in for a quick visit. I say yes, and then quickly get stuff picked up and organized a bit more. Also find this now as I’m training for the National Senior Games; my ability to do multiple sprints as a 60 year old is encouraging. Now I’m checking other sprinters’ times, just to see how much quicker I need to be. Challenge yourself, or hire a coach to challenge you and help hold you accountable.

January 12 Coaching Tip. Help Others. The fires in Los Angeles, CA are apocalyptic in nature, and I feel like there is absolutely nothing that I personally can do. And yet there IS something that I can do. After watching closely which organizations were “showing up to help others”, I chose to support the World Central Kitchen. During a time of a disaster of this magnitude, the state of someone’s food, water, and housing security are second to none. Find a way to “help others” (instead of complaining about this or that or pointing the finger at what should have been done or at certain people). We all want angels/people to help us when we are down; so, “help others.” Find your way to help, in your own way.

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365 Coaching Tips: Now on day 7, 8 & 9

It takes commitment and consistent execution to implement a new habit, and I’m really liking this new habit of identifying a coaching tip (or trend) daily. We have made the first hurdle of a new habit, and that’s doing it intentionally for at least one week.

January 7 Coaching Tip: Be Specific. With the new year beginning and my coaching work is now ramping up, a number of my coaching sessions have been focused on “I want to grow my business.” I simply ask, “can you be more specific?” That’s when it can get quiet. The silence spurs more questions. Ultimately, these type of questions get asked: “how will you grow”, “how will you spend your time differently”, “who are you targeting”, “what should you not do this year”, “which type of clients do you want to replicate”. The more specific that you can be about what YOU want to accomplish, I find it’s more likely that you will be successful. And further research indicates that if you write the goal/specifics, you are much more likely to succeed. For example, I have post-it notes on my mirrors and desks that remind me of my quarterly goals. Everyday, I am looking at those specific goals.

January 8 Coaching Tip: Backup Plans. We don’t want to think about backup plans, but when we have them, we sure are happy when we can quickly and somewhat effortlessly put them in motion. Today, on two different occasions, I was working with coaching situations where there was no backup planning by the coachee; they had one plan and just assumed it would go the planned way. As I asked a few questions, I could quickly tell that they needed to think more broadly and thoughtfully, regarding a backup/2nd or even a 3rd scenario. One situation was already in turmoil and they were in triage mode, losing sleep, begging for assistance, etc. We quickly put together a plan for a 2nd and 3rd option in both cases. Backup plans are necessary for many stages in our life journey; don’t be surprised when things re-route you. Have a plan and be ready, or at least somewhat ready.

January 9 Coaching Tip: Measure Frequently. If any of my coachees want to execute on a new goal, I ask them, “what are you measuring, and how frequently are you measuring it?” For example, one of my coachees wants to grow their business by 15% in 2025. We talked about reviewing the results monthly, measuring progress weekly, and assessing and tracking daily activity that contributes to growth. For me, I have some goals this summer to be able to run faster. Therefore, I’m tracking three things daily: my VO2MAX level on my Apple watch, my weight every morning, and my times when I run sprints weekly. If my VO2MAX increases, and I weigh a bit less all while continuing to run my sprints, I should be running faster this summer that I ran in June 2024. Guess what, 9 days into the new year, and my VO2MAX has increased and I’ve dropped a pound or two. Progress, bit by bit.

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365 Coaching Tips: For Days 4, 5 & 6

We’re on a roll here, and the coaching tips are evident.

January 4 Coaching Tip: Stay connected. Friends and family really matter to your overall wellness. The Blue Zones research by Dan Buettner indicates that having a purpose and regular social connections are two of the most important keys that Buettner revealed. I find that I thrive on getting my crew together; today, I had the opportunity to attend a ball game with two of my Indiana University teammates. Plus, gave two tickets to my high school basketball coach. Then, looked up and there was one of my high school teammates. And lastly, in the stands, there was a gal that I used to ride the school bus with. We all connected, smiled, and are intentionally staying in touch via getting out of the house, going to support college women play basketball…something that we all did years ago.

January 5 Coaching Tip: Make Plans. My vacation days are already booked on my personal and work calendar, and shared with my partner. Why? Because vacations and memories, while healthy, are a huge contributor to my overall wellness. Another tip that I have implemented for years is to take four days of vacation, but get 9-10 days off. How? Utilize the 3-day weekends with holidays to maximize your vacation, i.e. Memorial Day is always the last Monday in May, so take the Tuesday thru Friday off in late May. You will have a great start to your summer, and only utilized four vacation days.

January 6 Coaching Tip: Get Organized. Most people establish “New Year’s Resolutions” at the beginning of the year, and then most resolutions dissipate by the end of January. My recommendation is to get organized. What does that look like for me? Yesterday, I spent the bulk of the workday creating high priority Outlook email folders, and deleting years of irrelevant or outdated folders. The clutter went away quickly, and it did not take that long. Also did that with my personal Gmail account. Less clutter, more organized, and more focus on your priorities are easily reinforced now.

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365 Coaching Tips: Let’s Get Started

In mid-November 2024, I decided to set my goals for 2025. One of the 10 most important goals was to “blog regularly (daily and weekly) about relevant topics and my coaching work.” Setting the goals, then putting them in motion before the end of 2024 allowed me to get rolling along. Must admit, I’m proud of my progress as we all launch into 2025.

So, let’s get started.

January 1 Coaching Tip: Pick one word. One word that YOU can leverage throughout the year, that will empower you, motivate you, slow you down, or speed you up, or help you make decisions. As shared in my January 1, 2025 post, my one word for 2025 is REDUCE. (see it for more on why the word REDUCE)

January 2 Coaching Tip: Explain why. If you want something done or need to delegate or have to reschedule, quickly explain why and/or what’s going on. Most and nearly all humans with a heart (and a brain, with some type of empathy) will understand, and be flexible. Already in the new year, I found myself having to change a few appointments, and when I quickly shared that my 84-year-old mother wanted to have lunch with her three adult kids, everyone I spoke to quickly realized, “moms win!”

January 3 Coaching Tip: Find your best times. Find your best times to work, when you’re really uninterrupted and in flow; when your body thrives on exercise; when you need some downtime. In wearing my Oura ring now for nearly 5 years, my most active time is around 9:00am E, and my best work is done in the morning, right after my important, quiet time reading my devotionals while enjoying my cold brew(s).

One of my priorities in 2025 is to share what I learn in my coaching, to help you in your leadership, life, parenting, family, etc. journey. Let’s keep these coaching tips rolling all year long. Hold me accountable.

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Repurposing My Time

Since December 19th (2024), I’ve taken a number of consecutive days off, and won’t return to full duty work until January 6th (2025). Already liking how it feels, i.e. days off with no vacation planned. Let me explain what I’m thinking.

Whether I retire from my corporate run at two Fortune 100 companies in 15, 10, 5 years, or even in 1 year, my intention is to repurpose how I utilize my time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and I don’t intend on “retiring”. There’s too much to do still in my life. In fact, truly believe that my most impactful work in helping others is coming next. As they say, “The best is yet to come!”

Recently, I repurposed my time (from working 8 hours/day) to this:

Wake up, take more time to enjoy my coffee and read my devotionals, journal my wellness goals and activity, get my exercise done, contact key people in my life, plan healthy meals and then prep those healthier meals (than in the past), drive to meet contractors to check on my next real estate project, read the newspapers/magazines/books that have piled up, organize some stacks that needed attention for quite a while, and figure out ways to help others by understanding the most important needs of the community.

Bottom line, I like how these last few days have felt. Remember, no vacation planned. Just me being at home. It actually felt healthier than trying to squeeze all of these items in, while making work the “priority” from 7am (getting all ready, driving to work, or going upstairs for remote work) until 5pm-ish.

Yes, I’m grateful for the work that I’ve been doing since 1986 in the corporate world; it’s all provided me with a wonderful lifestyle and with ample healthcare and travel opportunities. However, I’m ready to utilize my God-given skills to help others, to help them become better citizens of the world, via business, real estate, non-profits. I even think there’s room for the world to learn how to be a better daughter (since I have the most amazing mother), sister, aunt, friend, neighbor, god-mom, etc.

How will you repurpose your time, when you make the decision to retire? Whenever I chose to make this move, I’m going to be ready. Why? In my coaching work, I’ve seen countless people who have “retired” and have not spent enough time figuring out what they are moving to, how will they spend their time, identify what do they deeply care about, etc.

Coach Jen tip: Don’t wait, think ahead, plan and prep on how you will repurpose your time, before you retire. If you need a coach to help you with repurposing of your time, get one.

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My One Word for 2025: Reduce

Yes, REDUCE.

Yes, I also use the phrase, “Just Go!” quite often. So why am I making the choice to select REDUCE as my word for 2025? Let me tell you all the reasons.

  1. Reduce plastic usage. Simply, plastic is not healthy, as more and more research is revealing how microplastics are in nearly every new baby born in the USA. What are a few new habits that I have already instituted in my daily routines: a) drinking my cold brew every morning now in a glass, not a plastic glass. b) utilizing a metal tea strainer instead of tea in a plastic tea bag. c) warming up food in the microwave on cookware, and not in plastic re-usable containers. d) carrying water in two metal containers throughout the day and refilling them, instead of having the urge to buy bottled water. e) all vehicles now have re-usable bags to carry groceries, to help reduce the plastic bag excess that is everywhere.
  2. Reduce my weight. In late July and early August, I intend to be running sprints and shooting baskets at the 2025 National Senior Games in Des Moines, Iowa. My goal is to drop down to 148 pounds, so that I can run just a bit quicker against these fast senior women from across the USA. As for habits, a) I must continue my 2024 habit more consistently of writing down daily my food intake as well as my exercise and weighing myself daily. When I do these three things daily, I lose weight. b) I must buy clean eating groceries, i.e. greens, sweet potatoes, salmon, fruit, much less chocolate, etc. c) I must reduce having the urge every single day to have some chocolate. Instead, have a piece of fruit or a strawberry or a piece of gum, make a cup of tea, or have a diet ginger ale.
  3. Reduce my food intake, especially reducing sugar. See #2. The sugar addiction that I have, along with many others, can be reduced when I set my mind to do it. New habits: a) Just say NO to chocolate and say YES to naturally sweet items like fruit. b) We love chocolate covered strawberries, so that may be the new “treat” while we reduce chocolate and sugar. c) eat less, as it is much better for my colon-less system. I feel better when I eat less.
  4. Reduce work drama. Not sure if I will work til 75 years old, 70, 65, or 61, but there’s zero need to get caught up in work drama. Just do my work and be grateful for the impacts that I make with my coaching work. New habit in 2025: just don’t engage and smile/nod, press forward.
  5. Reduce my jogging pace/mile and sprinting times. See #2. My goal is to be a role model for others, as a senior athlete. That means I need to be a bit quicker and also remain safe, i.e. no injuries and be healthy. I must continue my 2024 habits of regularly doing sprints and high intensity interval training a couple times per week, and my lifting and strength training also a couple times weekly. Also want to gather some advice from some other sprinters and runners on how to run quicker.
  6. Reduce screen time. The amount of time that we all are spending on screen time/scrolling is ridiculous. Of course it’s helpful when I’m intentionally staying in touch with family and friends, and keeping up with my work and real estate inquiries and projects. However, reading before I go to bed is going to be a new 2025 habit. Read a devotional or 10-20 pages of a book. I really like history, geography, and travel books, so it’s time to consume them.

Reduce. I like the sound of it. What’s YOUR word for 2025? What are your new habits to help make it a reality?

Happy New Year and here’s hoping that you have a great year with special times and superb health. Coach Jen

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Know Your No’s

Sometimes, it’s best to simply say, “No” and know why you said “No.” Recently, with the holidays on us, and Christmas landed on a Wednesday, I just to had to say “No” and just hang out with my mom on Christmas Day. Why? Because we both needed to enjoy the day and do absolutely nothing, except watch the fire, listen to Christmas music, be grateful, eat some warm soup, and cheer for some ball games on TV.

Typically, I would have said, “Yes” to going somewhere on Christmas Day. But mom and I were both ok with it. She had spent two quality days with my brothers’ families, and she got to meet her new great granddaughter. We both have had said yes many times recently, and yet we both had said no. Plus, I had spent time traveling on December 24th early morning, and then spent time with mom and my brother’s family the rest of the day. Earlier in December, we all spent a weekend together to celebrate a late Thanksgiving. That was a great time, with super connections and mom giving everyone in our family a tour of her home, sharing the many stories that come along with all the many personal items in her home. The family truly soaked it all up, as it was a “Yes” moment.

It was good to say, “No.” On the Christmas night, I slept so much better because I rested all day, ate better, and got some exercise. When I shared with my other family members that I had a couple rough evenings prior to Christmas, they quickly understood me saying, “No.”

Know your why behind your “NO”. If you don’t, and can’t explain it, then it makes it hard for you and others to understand.

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Take Some Half-Days Off

In reviewing my schedule at work, checking my vacation time remaining thru yearend, and realizing that I needed some downtime, I took multiple half-days off recently. Since the afternoons were going to be filled with sunshine and 70’s, it was amazingly efficient to work in the morning and then effectively “fun” to enjoy the lovely weather.

These half days helped me get some projects done that had been dragging on for months. Walking in the sunshine and laying by the pool gave me time to think. Yes, think. The thinking time for many of us also requires time to do the execution.

Here it is, prior to Thanksgiving, and I have my goals thru midyear next year already written down and why. I’ve registered for the National Senior Games, which are in late July-early August; expecting that this completed registration will help hold me accountable to stay in shape without getting injured, so that I can “show up” for these NSG.

Another goal was truly looking at my over net worth, as well as the investments that make up my Health Savings Account (HSA) and 401K. Research continues to reinforce that the best investments are “passive”, buy and hold style investing. I was pleased to see that the investment decisions I made for these HSA and 401K accounts are well above the S&P 500 trajectory.

Also, I was able to go to bed much earlier and catch up on some sleep, as the half days off gave me the opportunity to get stuff done instead of squeezing so much in from 5pm-9pm.

Recommendations: 1) Use every single hour and day of vacation time, as you will NEVER get it back. 2) Vacation days can be used for YOU, and not just a week or long weekend vacation. 3) Be aware of what you need, and if it’s “time to think, and then time to execute”, think about a few half days off.

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Treat Yo’ self

This week prior to Thanksgiving tends to be a light work week; many are vacationing or taking half days off to travel, complete the meal prep, or simply relax before the friends and family arrive.

So, what is a recommendation for YOU? Go treat yo’self. This week, I’ve scheduled a few 1/2 days off, a pedicure, a massage, enjoying time by the pool, walking, relaxing, reading, journaling. All of this is “me stuff”. And it’s ok, because come the holiday, it’s all about helping my mom and family have a wonderful time together for Thanksgiving.

Recommendation:

If you are scheduled up to the very last minute, ask yourself why? Why is it that you’re so busy, that you don’t have time to focus on you? Start identifying what must continue, what can be delayed or stopped, and what can actually be done by others. In our coaching lingo, we call this this “Start, Stop, Continue” exercise.

Start with you.

Stop doing everything, and delegate.

Continue what you can do.

By implementing the Start, Stop, Continue, you’ll be amazed that even 15 or 30 or 45 minutes a day, during busy weeks that come with the holidays, can give you time to Treat Yo’ self. And, teach others how to own things that you normally do.