Stress

Thinking that…this public health crisis will teach us all about the importance of understanding and learning more about the impacts that science and math have on our daily life.

Thinking that…just like after the 9/11 terror attacks and the resulting surge of brave men and women who joined the military, we’ll see an increase in people retraining to become nurses, respiratory therapists, and doctors. And cleaning companies will establish even better processes to clean workspaces.

Thinking that…we will visit our seniors more frequently and observe their care more closely at nursing homes.

Thinking that…I hope and pray that I never end up in a nursing home, not me nor any of my loved ones.

Thinking that…we (my partner & I) will quarantine once a year, as we are finding it beneficial to take some time to focus on our health, exercise, nutrition, tech & digital aptitude, writing, cleaning, organizing, home projects, continuing education, and things that rarely get reviewed (like insurance and umbrella policies). It also allows our bodies to take a break from the forces of life, and yet still be outside to see and wave at the neighbors and go to the store.

Thinking that…because I had a couple personalized, proactive discussions with physicians here in Florida, I changed a few things up, because they taught me to proactively care for my own immune system better, immediately.

Thinking that…losing weight now is a benefit of staying home. We are eating less and much more intentionally to help protect our immune systems. We’re also exercising 100’s of minutes each week.

Thinking that…embracing technology & doing business digitally, with a highly personal touch, has kept me, my company, and the company that I work for highly relevant during these times while many are working from home.

Thinking that…I am beyond grateful that we both are working, and it’s probably MORE, and that my clients are paying their rent. Felt good to give our clients a discount in April and May. Truly feel for those who aren’t working, and can’t pay their rent.

Thinking that…since I have been working from home for nearly eight years, I got a jump on this whole “work from home” movement. Grateful to be able to share quite a few best practices with many of my colleagues.

Thinking that…when I was a young adult, so glad that I listened to the financial experts who said emphatically, “save up to build an emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses,” and “pay yourself first (401K or similar), have your company match it, and do it for your future retirement or cash flow needs.” Praying that many young adults can do that again, as we come out of this public health crisis.

Thinking that…we will all be a bit cleaner, wash our hands more frequently, and really think about who we hug, and why. And who we shake hands with, and why.

Thinking that…appreciation will spike about all those events that happen naturally and/or annually, like graduations, tournaments, weddings, funerals, classes, trips and holidays.

Thinking that…we were stocked up, but the run to the store will happen even earlier in the future when we hear about something that’s happening across the world. We will be even better stocked with healthy options to strengthen our immune system, and to also have a few key go-to items, like toilet paper, water, fuel, etc.

Thinking that…Google and Apple can trace and track me to keep me and others healthier. I am good with that. Nothing to hide, absolutely nothing.

Thinking that…many of us are becoming even better at client service, and more astute entrepreneurs. Creativity is flowing; I mean, check out Zoom calls, TikTok, You Tube, carry out in restaurants/stores/pharmacies/etc.

Thinking that…I can’t wait to see and hear a live concert. Music has impacted me more positively than I ever realized.

Thinking that…although I love sports, actually not missing the games as much I thought I would. Wasn’t sure how I’d make it without March Madness. But, realizing that there is so much to learn and read about, and to do.

Thinking that…staying connected with family and friends has always been a priority, and thus thankful for low levels of anxiety right now, and no depression. It’s fun seeing them on Zoom & Facetime regularly and spontaneously. Praise the Lord. Praying for those who are experiencing stress and anxiety.

Thinking that…my parents are being remarkably healthy and yet staying engaged thru this quarantine with physical distancing. So proud of them. Zero complaining.

Thinking that…we are praying more, before eating at the table. And that’s a great peace to have and to also feel the deep connection with Him and each other.

Thinking that…although our lives have been disrupted, adjusted routines have been tweaked and are working pretty darn good.

Thinking that…it’s not been that bad. In fact, I see (as mentioned in my earlier blog) much HOPE. I Hope.

Jen Wilfong 4/20/2020

Recently my parents called me and I answered the phone to the scary comment, “there’s been an accident.” They had been in a farm accident!Mom broke her arm, has two bum knees and a busted lip. Dad’s ankle was horribly bruised after a truck loaded with hay ran over it. Thank goodness for the neighbor who called 9-1-1 and got help to them quickly. I share this story about my parents’ accident as an example of how one person who was stressed and didn’t take time to communicate, ended up causing both of them to be injured.

Many of my clients say, “I am so stressed…” Stress comes in lots of forms. Some stress is good and helps us perform better—like meeting a deadline on time. Other types of stress have the opposite effect on us and we perform poorly. When clients bring up stress, questions I typically ask include: What are you doing to reduce the stress? How will you do that? Who will you communicate to? This last question is critical to successfully reducing stress. I’m finding a common pattern among clients when they admit they are stressed. If the client identifies a game plan and communicates the plan with a trusted person, the client typically a) implements the changes to help reduce the stress, and b) has a powerful conversation that helps both people.

When you are stressed, what gets in your way of stopping and communicating to someone you trust? Maybe it’s because you think those closest to you understand what you are thinking and know you better than anyone else. Maybe it’s because you think someone else has it worse than you do, so you aren’t willing to share your concerns about what is stressful. Whatever the reasons, I want to share a few tips to help you when you are stressed.

Stressed? Feel and Stop. If you are feeling stressed, stop and become aware. A good practice is to write or journal what is causing the stress. Where is it coming from? Have you ever experienced this cause of stress before? If so, what makes it different this time? How do you think it can it be reduced? For example, one of my clients was very stressed about her work and the amount of time she was spending at work well into the evenings. After journaling for just one week, she quickly noticed that her stress was actually coming from her children. Because she stopped and journaled, she was able to notice what was causing the stress and increased her one-on-one time with her kids.

Stressed? Share with care. When you do feel stress, it’s a good step to not only stop, but also think about who you might talk to that deeply listens and cares. It amazes me that when I ask clients who they might share their stress with, most of my clients say, “I hadn’t really thought about that.” Together with the client, we put together a plan that helps identify who he/she wants to share with and when; what he/she wants to share; and how he/she might put the plan into action. In fact, I’ve helped my clients practice and dry run these conversations/plans. This practice provides a lot of confidence to the client.

Stressed? Communicate calmly. When stress strikes, some cultures and individuals actually reinforce cocooning and isolation to mask the situation. What I’ve found with clients that “Feel and Stop, Share with care,” and “Communicate calmly,” is that the conversation is not just needed by the client but also by the other person and is helpful to more than both of them, and typically is replicated because it was successful, thoughtful, and rational. One client realized that her stress was impacting the entire family. However by opening communication with her husband, they established a plan and helped one another—and their kids.

Could my parents have avoided their horrific farm accident? Yes. My father was stressed about getting ready for a two-day trip and needed to feed 14 hungry horses on the coldest day of winter. Instead of feeling the stress, stopping, and figuring out a plan to feed the horses before entering their pasture, he proceeded quickly and asked my mother to help him drive a truck and keep the horses from coming through the gate. Because he didn’t share, nor communicate a well understood game plan, a drastic error was made when the horses moved toward the truck. My mother ran over my father’s leg while turning the truck to miss a horse. As she got out of the truck to run to his aid, she fell and broke her arm. As with most clients, the time it would have taken my father to Feel and Stop, Share with Care, and Communicate Calmly would have taken a few minutes. Instead, both of my parents will be recovering from their injuries for weeks.

The next time you are stressed, how will you communicate to help ensure you have positive results instead of stressful consequences?

Tag: Stress

Thinking That…

Stressed? Find Out How To Stay Calm During The Storms