In The Next 100 Days, I Will…

This is the week in January when New Year’s Resolutions stop, stall, or become unrealistic for most people. Back on January 1, just 21 days ago, these were invigorating ideas to attack with energy in 2019. Things have changed. So what is getting in the way of these resolutions? Why are they losing steam? Now what do you need to do?

In our coaching work, we find that New Year’s Resolutions lose steam due to a variety of reasons. We also find that the art of delegation and accountability is tied to how you ask questions and give clarity around when, who, what, and why.

WHEN. When do you want to accomplish your goal? It’s a simple question, but the most critical one that is typically not understood. Many goals are set, and are missing a date. Thus, the goal keeps getting pushed out or not achieved, because a date was never set. That’s why it’s a great tactic to state, “In the Next 100 Days, I will...” When we force ourselves to identify what WE will do in a more defined time period, we tend to be more successful. Just try it and simply ask, “When does this need to be done?”

WHO. Who can help hold you accountable? Having a partner, teammate or coach will help you push through barriers, and sometimes even help you get there more quickly and smoothly. Who can help you with their expertise, and are you asking for it?

WHAT. Goals that are specific and truly have some ummph behind them tend to be achieved than ambiguous or unrealistic goals. For example, if I want to weigh in the 150s this year. I want to get there, and before the end of April. Why? Because I want to feel and look better, while at the lake in the late spring and all summer. Before that though, we head to the Florida beaches right after Easter. So it’s time to get serious and be wise on portions: reduce one meal every day to simply fruit and a small handful of nuts, and also increase my exercise to at least 10,000 steps every single day.

WHY. Plenty of goals are loosely defined, i.e. “lose 10 pounds.” However, when we add some why and purpose behind it, these goals tend to be MUCH more achievable. Let’s take my simple, “weigh in the 150s this year.” WHY is that so important? Because in the summer of 2018, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at just 53 years old. My doctors gave me a list of things to ensure that I do for the next few decades of my life, and one of the specifics was “weigh in the 150s, carry less weight on your briddle bones, and strength train so that your muscles are strong to carry your body/weight.” DONE. That’s all I needed to hear.

What’s YOUR WHY? Name it. And then state, “In the next 100 days, I will...”

p.s. Many thanks to Dr. Kevin Elko’s message here in Indianapolis last week. He inspired me to write this blog. He asked the crowd to say out loud, “In the next 90 days, I will…” MANY thanks to Dr. Elko for his reminders on what we CAN do. Follow him on twitter @DrKevinElko

It’s Time For Fun, Isn’t It?

On a cool, rainy evening in October 2018, Hoosier Park was hosting the “Super Night” of Indiana’s best in harness racing.  And a long-shot named “It’s Time for Fun” was in 6th place as the horses came down the stretch. But then “Fun” hit a faster gear and sprinted past them all and won easily.  Friends and four generations of the breeder and owner got to the winner’s circle just in time for the celebration and fun. And that owner shined a grin and said, “It takes a team!”

Who is the owner and breeder of “It’s Time for Fun”? My dad, Lynn Wilfong, 79 years young. I intentionally used the word “young”, as he sure loves his phrase that he shares regularly: “Have someone to love.  Love what you do. Have something to look forward to.” And he has also been heard to say, “I will die with my boots on.”

Love. Four generations showed up to see “It’s Time For Fun” win the 3 Year Old Filly Indiana Sires Stakes: his wife, Barbara, of 58 years; his three adult children & their spouses; and some of the grand children and a great grandchild.

Work. Lynn has been working with harness horses since he was a young boy.  And he continues to be patient with them, even after 6-7 decades of being around these large and loving creatures.

Look Forward. Although my dad has suffered some losses and also some health challenges in the last couple decades, he sure studies his own health and how to improve it just like he studies harness horse breeding and racing. He is looking at ways to find the right mixture of breeding to win at the value that he is willing to pay, and still bring a return to his harness racing business.

How does he do this and also leverage his team? He has a vision, and that is to keep winning, especially in Indiana and Illinois. He and mom, along with my brother and his wife (Brett and Candy), truly have defined roles.  Dad studies and recommends breeding, and helps ensure the mares have healthy foals.  He and Brett raise and haul them, and Brett trains them.  My nephew, Kyle (Brett’s son, who is 4th generation in the harness racing business now) is the driver.  Kyle’s girlfriend, Nicole, is the caretaker (groom) of the horses that are being raced and trained, and she is growing and now a trainer.  And the revenue and expenses are tracked by Barbara and Candy.  For decades, Barbara leads the effort to ensure all of the horses are named and registered.  Very clear roles, with a goal of winning in Indiana and Illinois with well cared for horses.  They also leverage vets, blacksmiths, and feed companies. All of these roles are very specific, and they rarely duplicate work.  The goal for everyone is to be accountable to helping the horse(s) be as healthy as possible so that it can professionally perform in nearly any condition (rain, heat, sleet, wind and cold weather).

With a clear Vision, clear Roles, and clear Goals for each person on your team, you will most likely continue to succeed even as you approach your 8th decade.  In my coaching work, I can sense dysfunction or lack of accountability quickly.  It typically is because something is NOT clear with the Vision, or the Roles, or the Goals.  If all three are clear, you can most likely expect good results.  And good results just might lead to “It’s Time for Fun”.

 

 

Keep Moving.

Keep Moving.  It’s a healthy thing to do considering the amount of time we are sitting.  But, HOW do I squeeze that in during my busy days and evenings?

Have a walking meeting with a colleague at work (instead of sitting in an office or conference room).

Meet a friend and go for a walk (instead of sitting for a cup of coffee or dinner).

When going to the store or work, park away from the front door or elevator (instead of squeezing into to a close spot, and getting a door ding).

After dinner at home, slide those walking shoes on for a 15 minute walk or jump on the bike for a quick spin of the neighborhood (instead of sliding in to your recliner).

Walk the dog, or the neighbor’s dog, or pet sit.  Dogs will get you up regularly and look forward to walks & being with their humans in nature.

When waiting in the airport, simply go for a couple strolls up and down the concourse (instead of sitting in the uncomfortable and hard seats at the gate).

When in an elevator by yourself, do some toe raises.  Or better yet, take the stairs if they are well lit and provide a sense of safety (instead of just standing).

During the ads on TV shows, stand up. Do a few squats. Squeeze in 10 push-ups (instead of just sitting).

Blue Zones research indicates that people who move naturally live longer.  I am trying to find ways to move naturally during moments throughout the day. What will inspire you to do the same thing?

Labor Day Fun, Then 4 Months Remain

As we head in to the last half of August and then celebrate that last 3-day “summer” weekend of Labor Day, I am already thinking about how I can help my colleagues with their priorities during the remaining four months of the year.  In fact, the final 100 days of the year.

Why do I say the final 100 days of 2018? Because when we really look at how much time we will truly “work towards our goals, serving clients, etc.”, and then reduce all the days off for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, (and yes,  squeezing in those final vacation days), and Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years Eve holidays, it leaves us all with approximately 100 days to get “IT” done in 2018.

What is your “IT” that must get done by the end of 2018? Take 10-15 minutes daily between now and September 1 to review your priorities, and then re-prioritize those and figure out your “IT”.

Who will support you in getting that “IT” done? Someone at work, at home, a mentor or coach can assist and help hold you accountable.

When do you need to get after “IT”? Assess if there are a few tasks that must get done prior to getting after your “IT”.  And then let everyone know what you will be focused on between now and year-end.

Where do you need to go to focus on “IT”? Sometimes a quick, regular change of scenery can provide you the focus that you need to get “IT” progressing, and then ultimately done.

How can you get “IT” done prior to Thanksgiving? With four months remaining in 2018, I’ve actually found that if you set year-end goals to be done by the Friday prior to Thanksgiving, it really gives you and your team the opportunity to bond during Sept-Oct-Nov, and then truly celebrate the success in December.  I have witnessed a team that went from being a bit dysfunctional in late August to a highly-bonded and functional team after they completed a project before the holidays.  Give it a try!

90 Day Priorities

You have some goals and priorities at the “new year”? Do you keep those goals progressing every 90 days?
Here’s a hint to help you execute on those goals:
Write them down. 
Review them and discuss them with someone you deeply trust throughout January.  Weekly. Then do that same process again in February. Weekly.  And again in March.  Weekly.
Wisely attack a few of your goals. All of your annual goals do NOT have to be started in January.
For example, I have always wanted to read more. Every single year. But in 2018, I was more specific with my “read more” goal. I wanted to read books that would help me improve my leadership training and business ownership skills, and to help me coach others on sales growth. After discussing this with a ferocious reader, he recommended that I utilize an app and listen to books as I drive. So I downloaded the mobile app Audible, and got my first book free. I have already finished it, downloaded another book and finished it, too. And have read five hardback books that were within reach in my office. Yes, three books read by Feb 4. And now 7 books read by March 17, 2018. A new record for me, all because I changed a few critical behaviors: downloaded an app, listened/listening to books on Audible, and taking more time to read the good books that I already own.
The annual “eat more healthy goal” was also written down. However, this year I am taking trips to the grocery store and buying different type of foods. Olives. Oranges. Sugar-free dark chocolate. And I listened to a podcast on mindful eating; now I am much more aware of WHAT I am eating and the size of portion, as I now compare those portions to my palm and hand.
Lesson learned for me is simply this: take VERY specific actions to change behavior quickly, after you write down and share your goals. Review your progress weekly, and then re-evaluate every 90 days.  Simply ask yourself, how did you do? If you progress and achieve at 75-80% success rate, pat yourself on the back, and continue your progress.  Kudos to YOU!

At 50, Leverage Your Strengths

Today I was prepping for some Strengths Finders training that I will be attending during the week of July 6 in Princeton. In reviewing my strengths that I took back in 2013, I was reminded that discipline is my top strength, closely followed by focus, achiever, responsibility, and learner. Thus, it is probably not a surprise that I am prepping 2-3 weeks in advance, being someone with those discipline, focus, and responsibility strengths.

Before turning 50 in August 2014, my partner and I made the pledge to look good in our photos during our trips to Italy, Chicago, and the lake in the summer of 2014. That pledge really leveraged my strengths of achiever, but also discipline and focus. As we traveled last summer, our snaps turned out great and we felt good in the process of hitting the big 50. We had energy, we enjoyed friends and family, and felt great.

After I turned 50, I quickly became a bit lazy and quit leveraging my discipline strength. I gained weight back, even though we were working out and ran a half marathon in the Fall 2014. But in January 2015, I wrote down: “get in the 150’s (pounds) and stay there.”  By writing that down and embracing my strengths, I have found it easy and focused to eat less this year. And I weigh 8-10 pounds less than I did while on our trips last summer.

I want to be role model of wellness at 50, and so my strength of responsibility is really kicking in right now. The self esteem burst of “look good, feel great” is worth the effort to the daily rejection of sweets, desserts, extra helpings, and that extra drink. My focus on wellness is delivering on this:  Be happy. Be healthy. Be connected. Be grateful. Be well. Be encouraged. Be a role model.

What are your strengths? I bet you are using them at work. But how about in your personal life and with your own well being? My hope for you is that you deploy your strengths routinely in your blended life of home, play, family, friends, faith, and yes, at work.

Why I like the NFL? Vision and Role Clarity

Why do I love the NFL? It is a great mixture of world class athletes, intense and emotional competition, vision and strategy, precise execution, fan interaction, and big business.  For example:

It’s emotional. Only one team wins the big prize annually. The Vince Lombardi Super Bowl trophy is adorned; grown men have tears in their eyes while they embrace that trophy like their own child, after winning the Super Bowl.  For teams who don’t follow the rules, they get penalized. Teams lose players to short and long term injuries, which can be devastating to the player, the entire team, the fans and the owner’s bottom line.  Players are locked out. Referees are too. Owners balk, and then agree. Egos abound!

It’s consistent. During the fall and early winter, the games are all day every Sunday and Monday evening.  And now every Thursday. Although lifestyles are very busy, millions of fans routinely make time to watch this #1 sport in America.

It embraces strategy. The owners are willing to invest a lot of money into players, coaches, fans, and facilities, to get a higher return on their investment.  During the games, the teams have gameplans (strategies) on how to prepare, compete, and win. Countless hours are spent in the film rooms AND on the field prepping for the competition as well as honing the team’s strengths and weaknesses.

It’s about leadership.  Each small group on every NFL team has a coach. Sure, there is a head coach.  But there are also running back and linebacker coaches.  There are owners and general managers. If all of these leaders are executing with precision to the strategy, it can be magical.

It’s all about execution. The team that executes with precision, wins. Execution is difficult to do, but easy to identify when it is done right. Whether it is scoring with 12 seconds to go in the first half to take a lead in to halftime or defending a goal line stance during the last two minutes, you know execution when you see it.

It’s about change. It is interesting how quickly a team can come together, even though EVERY team roster changes annually. Audibles are utilized and implemented within seconds after the offense reviews the defense stance.   Each player has to perform and adjust as the game develops.

It’s about role clarity. It is fascinating to see how each player clearly knows his role on each play. A wide receiver runs his route, with timing and yardage completely in sync with his quarterback’s release of a throw.  The offensive lineman block to protect the quarterback and to help gain yardage for the running back. The special teams help block for the punt returner. The athletic trainer and doctors know when to administer what treatment for injuries and pain.

It’s hi-tech. The stadiums are electric with big screen replays of nearly every play. Fantasy football allows the fan to build and manage his own team, anytime, anywhere. Nearly every game can be viewed ubiquitously, whether on a mobile device, laptop, via the internet or satellite TV. Games can be watched later in either full or 30 minute versions.

It gets people together. In the fall of 2011, 23 of the top 25 shows viewed were NFL games. And in many cases, these NFL games are watched in groups of fans who are eating, talking, and drinking together. Tailgating starts on early Sunday mornings in the stadium parking lots and goes well beyond the end of the game.   Camping in the woods and parks has now moved to asphalt parking lots near stadiums.

It’s about patience.  The teams who consistently perform at the highest levels are the teams with lack of turnover. For example, the NY Giants have remained committed to Tom Coughlin even though the NY press wants to fire him annually. Coughlin’s answer? Two Super Bowls in five years. The Pittsburgh Steelers have been in the hunt for decades, with the same family leading the franchise and purposefully selecting coaches who embrace their values. The Miami Dolphins and San Francisco 49ers were truly dominating in the 1970s’s and 1980’s, respectively, with steady ownership, coaches, and quarterbacks.  The New England Patriots have an owner in Robert Kraft and coach in Bill Belichick that trust one another and demonstrate excellence year after year.  The Green Bay Packers fans are the most loyal in the business, as they own the team. That is not going to change.

It’s BIG business.  Billions of dollars in television rights across five networks (NBC, FOX, CBS, ESPN, and NFL Network) and stadiums worth hundreds of million dollars grab the attention of fans, hopes and dreams of children, and other businesses who want to be a part of the NFL picture to broaden their brand.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that high-performing teams on the court/field and in business have the ability to perform at a very high level because each and every person on the team clearly knows the vision and their role, and executes it with precision.  In today’s business world, role clarity and execution are becoming more and more important, as the room for error is so slim due to increased governance, regulations,  shareholder and customer expectations.  Is your team operating at a level that meets your vision? If not, identifying your vision and further clarifying roles might be the first steps to address.  The NFL demonstrates this every week, on five different TV networks, with 32 teams owned by 32 different men in 32 different locations, with 53 players, who all know their role. Complexity in business can be overcome by a clear vision and role clarity. The NFL is a living and successful example.

How Beach Volleyball Solved Work-Life Balance

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings held hands during the National Anthem Wednesday (8/8/2010) evening. They held hands during their late night interview with NBC’s Bob Costas and early morning interview on NBC’s Today Show. This duo is a great partnership of complete excellence.

As three-time gold medal champions in Olympic beach volleyball, Misty and Kerri don’t struggle with nor complain about work life balance. They flipped work life balance on its head. Instead, they completely embraced a purposeful life with goals, and did it. How did they do it?

They are friends, who trust each other immensely. As a great partnership over a 12 year period, they went 21-0 in Olympic competition. They lost just one set in the Athens, Beijing, and London Olympics.

They are wives, with children (Kerri) or kids in the future (Misty). Their husbands completely supported them with this purposeful goal. Yes, these two are loved by their husbands and families, but now adored by the global community.

They are coached. Yes, as good as they are, they have coaches who helped guide them to their third gold medal. Although they won their third gold medal, they still only gave themselves a B plus.

They are confident. How many 33 and 35 year old women would want to play beach volleyball in a two piece swim suit? Who would be comfortable doing that in front of an audience of 15,000?

They are competitive. They weren’t afraid to state that they expected to win the gold medal in London 2012. They set the bar high, and cleared it.

They visualized success. They saw themselves on the gold medal podium, throughout their training and matches. And they celebrated after each winning point, set, and match. Regular and energetic high-fives and fist pumps were a part of their matches.

They are resilient. Misty recovered from a torn Achilles heel, one of the most damaging injuries a world class athlete can face. After having two children, Kerri rebounded to be a stronger and wiser athlete. They adapted and changed their training and communication through the 12 year journey.

They are appreciative. They thanked the 2nd place/silver medal team of Jen Kelly and April Ross for pushing them. They thanked the ‘army of support’ behind them through this journey.

They are inclusive. After every match in London, Misty spoke in to the TV camera and thanked a variety of people and teams (the American troops and the Dodgers); Kerri always recognized and gave high fives to the ball girls and boys; and Misty jogged around the stadium after each win, engaging and thanking the fans. Before one match, they warmed up with a few members of the USA men’s basketball team. Who does that? That makes them so likeable and marketable.

As a business coach, I frequently hear the phrases, “I don’t have time, I struggle with balance, I can’t delegate, I can’t find time to exercise, our team isn’t accountable.” Recommend embracing what this duo did:
1) set purposeful goals (to win their 3rd gold medal, establish a legacy, and change the face of beach volleyball globally),

2) partner with friends or colleagues that you completely trust,

3) gain support of those closest to you,

4) visualize success,

5) celebrate every step along the way,

6) expect a few hurdles along the way but don’t let them stop you, and

7) enjoy the journey.

Overwhelmed? Open up, Own it, Organize, Outsource and Get Orderly

Since I have been coaching women and emerging leaders, I am hearing a common concern: “Jen, I am overwhelmed. I just can’t say ‘no.’ Sometimes I don’t know where to start.”

When a coach hears her client truly open up, we are encouraged because we know the client is becoming introspective. As coach, it is my role to help the client reach a comfort level where she is able to open up and pull from her what is causing her to be overwhelmed. Once that difficult first step is clarified and we both have a common understanding of the current state, then we move to step two. We brainstorm and identify what the client can do to become more able to own the cause and get organized. Nearly every time, the client has great ideas and answers.

It is the third step that is most difficult: which idea(s) will the client implement to help reduce this overwhelming feeling? For example, recently, a woman leader that I am coaching implemented and owned her plan by making a handful of adjustments. She had an open conversation with her husband and they both agreed to outsource a few low priority areas of their lives that were frustrating them both. She also began saying “no” to trivial requests. With more time available to work on higher priority opportunities, she noticed her business began to thrive and she was starting to achieve the audacious goals she had set in Jan. 2012.

My client no longer feels guilty about saying “no.” At the beginning of her work day, she implements a daily task lists. She even prioritizes her early mornings, with a wellness/fitness/nutrition plan to get her rolling.

The upshot? If you are overwhelmed, open up, own the situation, get organized, utilize outsourcing, and get orderly. You’ll soon become less overwhelmed and ready to face whatever challenges and opportunities that come your way.

Transform Results? The Courage to Change

The only way we really learn how to swim is by jumping in (the swimming pool or off the dock into the lake). The fear we overcome quickly is turned in to courage. This courage quickly translates into new skills and talents. Let’s take a couple recent examples in the sports world that have transformed careers.

Cool hand Luke. As an average George Mason basketball player, Luke Hancock decided to transfer when his George Mason coach ‘jumped’ to take on the head coaching job at University of Miami. Courageously, after considering multiple schools and two of them were in his home state, Hancock agreed that the University of Louisville was his next step. Within just a few months, his teammates named him captain even though he sat out as a ‘redshirt’ during the 2011-2012 season.  Within less than two years of his transfer (change), he was deep in the NCAA tournament assuming a key role after a teammate fell due to a broken leg. And who was the one who calmed Kevin Ware as he laid on the sideline with a broken leg? Luke Hancock was there, fully present during the ‘breaking point’, looking directly in to his teammate’s eyes. Just a week later, Hancock came off the bench and led the Louisville Cardinals in not one, but two comebacks to win the NCAA title. Hancock’s ability to be courageous, calm, and lead are truly unique. The NCAA voters agreed, and awarded him the NCAA Final Four’s Most Outstanding Player award.

Come On Aussies. In July 2011, the #1 golfer in the world released his caddie, Steve Williams.  And a younger but highly talented golfer from Australia, Adam Scott, had the amazing courage to quickly hire the best caddie in golf, Williams. At that point, Scott hadn’t won a major championship on the PGA Tour. But most in the sport quickly realized that the elusive major was now within reach. Although Scott was close (he gave up a four-stroke lead in the 2012 British Open), he came back stronger and won the 2013 Masters in fabulous style (sinking a birdie putt in the second playoff hole against a previous Masters winner). Again, in less than two years, Scott has reached the pinnacle of his career in winning The Masters, all because he had the courage to change and transform.

Both of these examples remind us of how some people get ‘stuck’ due to fear of making a change, while others embrace courageous change and achieve heights that appeared to be untouchable. How are you embracing change and your future opportunities? A first few steps might be to identify where you want to go, what you want to achieve, and then identify who can help you reach your pinnacle.